Author Mafia - Game Over!

[Brian Jacques]

Brian surveyed the room carefully. Several well-spoken authors renowned for their work had started conversing about the death of Brother Goodkind. The late author's battered body laid nearby. Brian looked thoroughly over Brother Goodkind's dark-grey clothing for some clue, but could find no hint of an assailant.

His attention returned to the numerous intellectuals.

He spoke softly at first, "We must find who did this to Brother Goodkind. You," Brian pointed, "where were you before we found this body?"

VOTE: ee cummings

[Brian Jacques]

The hall erupted loudly with accusations. Silently ee cummings stared at Brian; the author said nothing at all actually, so Brian considered the other prolific writers in the room. He did not understand every style of the writers; some styles were deeper than Turnips 'n' Potatoes Deeper'n'Ever Pie. He decided to focus only on their votes, and what shred of reasoning he could glean from the likes of Gertrude Stein or Mark Z Danielewski or James Joyce.

Brian read the latest editions of The Daily Bugle and ponderously mulled over the drama it yearned to create. Brian could not decide whether it was the style of the paper or the actual thoughts of the editor that distrustfully pointed at nearly every author in attendance! Brian carefully listened to the other authors and found it very easy to follow Edgar Allen Poe and Lemony Snicket, and was dismayed to find them butting heads. He could not thoroughly think on the rest of the accusations, and so put down his pen and scroll for the evening, asking in passing one question, "Dr. Seuss, I'm curious you didn't vote The Daily Bugle as well. From what you've so wittily rhymed, I take it you consider it too early to determine The Daily Bugle's true intentions?"

[Brian Jacques]

UNVOTE: ee cummings

[Brian Jacques]

Several fingers and glares accused Sister Marion. Abashedly she answered the authors' charges and claimed brother ee to be the culprit. Oscar Wilde, a young man dressed sharply for the occasion, spoke up,

"I hardly find the suspicions of Mr. Cummings opportunistic, as there was one vote against you, which was based upon the notion that your case against the Daily Bugle was both ill-conceived and insincere."

Brian thought he made a valid point.

In the corner, James Joyce sat up and mumbled incoherently, a glass of raspberry cider in his hand, and several other empty glasses beside him. Brian hoped this would not be a trend! He echoed David Foster Wallace's sentiments, but thought James Joyce should have had enough of his fun by now, and should be getting down to solving this crime.

Brian started, "If you could be so kind to share an actual understandable thought, James," but paused. The alcoholic's head had slumped over mid-sentence. Brian scrawled a note on a napkin and placed it tactfully in James' jacket pocket.

"Ah, Gregory Williamson," Brian turned to the crowd. "Your vote against Marion Zimmer Bradley is exactly one of the reasons I won't be voting her at this very moment. Your vote hides itself behind your poems and not reasons. Please, if you care to enlighten us in clearer terms?"

[Brian Jacques]

Brian stirred in his chair, and drowsily listened to the current chatting. It was mostly the same people with some added pentameter from Bill Shakespeare. On the bright side, he finally understood some of James Joyce's mutterings.