Tell me a story!

[AngryPidgeon]

The time Antihero was hit on by a 7-year-old

[Our neighbors have an seven-year-old girl and this exchanged happened at a neighborhood get-together]

Girl (to Antihero): You're cute.
<Antihero says nothing but is visibly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.>
Girl: Have girls told you you're cute before?
Antihero: No
Girl: Do you have a girlfriend?
Antihero: No
Girl: Can I be your girlfriend.
Antihero: No
Girl: Why not?
Antihero: Because I'm too old. I take out my teeth at night and put them in a cup and pretty soon my hair's going to turn grey and fall out!
Girl: Ewwwwwwwwwww
<Girl walks away>
Girl: Old people are gross.

This is hilarious.

[AngryPidgeon]

Well my school had an event a few months back, it was called...Sex Toy Bingo.

Since when do schools have events where they give out dildos in bars?

[AngryPidgeon]

nominate Belisarius for Best Mafia Catcher

[AngryPidgeon]

nominate Zoraster for Most cunning Manipulator