The Spoil a Wish game

StrangerCoug · Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:36 am

DAMN YOU!

Granted. You're the only happy person in an area where there are a bunch of corpses due to a terrorist attack. You are suspected thereof and arrested.

I wish for Sprite.

StrangerCoug · Sun Sep 25, 2011 11:56 am

Granted. It tastes like crap.

I wish to inherit a large sum of money.

StrangerCoug · Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:11 am

Granted. We commit suicide and escape to hell.

I wish the food supply never ran out.

StrangerCoug · Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:52 pm

Granted. Nobody else does.

I wish to take a plane to Las Vegas.

StrangerCoug · Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:36 am

Granted. You've put the gun down, but life still frustrates you to no end.

I wish I knew what the hell I was doing being flown to jail.

StrangerCoug · Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:13 pm

I wish to delete posts #9325 and #9326.

StrangerCoug · Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:45 pm

I wish for RichardGHP to have a blast modding Mafia en Español.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 02, 2011 1:55 pm

Granted. All your spoils end up being crappy.

I wish to know who is backing up Mafia en Español. (I'm not a native Spanish speaker and suggested that Richard get someone who is, but I did review.)

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:35 pm

Granted. I insult you in Timbarian.

I wish the kids didn't climb out the window.

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:39 pm

Granted. You can't get anything else on your computer to work.

I wish to travel the world.

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:29 am

Granted. No one else laughs.

I wish I drove.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:33 am

Granted. He does so the day after you die.

I wish for a faster Internet connection at home.

StrangerCoug · Sat Oct 15, 2011 10:59 am

Granted. You look stupid for making that wish.

I wish .gif images could support full 24-bit color.

StrangerCoug · Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:57 pm

Denied.

I wish to have a secret weapon.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 16, 2011 6:08 am

Granted. You have become a workaholic.

I wish for lemonade.

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:52 pm

Denied. That's against the spirit of the game.

I wish to play a game with themountainclimber (whether that be here or on Wheel of Fortune Lovers).

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:40 pm

Uhh... animorpherv1, have you been watching the show? It's not mathematically possible to win with $1,000 anymore.

And granted. One lands on you.

I wish people would keep current about the shows of which they claim to be fans.

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:49 pm

Granted. You have the motivation to kill yourself.

I wish I had unlimited funds.

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:03 pm

Granted. You can't bring yourself to do so, though.

I wish to unstick

You Could Be Mine

by Guns N' Roses from my head. It's a good song, but I'm getting bad with being obsessed with that band.

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 21, 2011 4:32 pm

GREAT...

Granted. You would have failed your midterm either way.

I wish for Equinox to play a Mafia game with me again.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:22 am

I wish theamatuer remembered 1.) to wish and 2.) that Equinox is female.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:31 am

Granted. You get it right when the electric company cuts off power to your house, and you can't afford the bill.

I wish for faster Internet.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:34 am

Granted. You have pi dollars. Yes, $3.14.

I wish to go on a shopping spree.

StrangerCoug · Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:06 am

Granted. You have been banned from this thread.

I wish for lemonade.

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 24, 2011 1:02 pm

Granted. The rest of your body is out of shape.

I wish for the world to be at peace.

StrangerCoug · Sat Oct 29, 2011 3:43 am

...to die? Granted.

I wish to win the lottery (and have my winnings stuck in a savings account).

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:01 pm

Granted. Los Angeles is as hot as the sun.

I wish I were paid daily.

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:04 pm

Granted. You are required to be alive for your business to be profitable, and you're pushing 90.

I wish to know why I'm up this late. It's Friday, but still...

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 04, 2011 4:20 pm

Granted. You brainwashing everybody is a miracle.

I wish for gum.

StrangerCoug · Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:05 pm

I actually like Eye of the Tiger

Granted. There is a razor blade in it.

I wish I weren't tired.

StrangerCoug · Sat Nov 05, 2011 4:18 pm

Granted. It manages to go the same way as SWN III—you botch the night actions Night 1, have to call it off, and beat yourself up.

I wish I'd go to bed already.

StrangerCoug · Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:05 am

Granted. I'm dead at the scene.

I wish to be revived.

StrangerCoug · Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:46 am

Granted. The world is, in effect, an anarchy. You are killed by the Mafia and the killer is never found before the scum takes over the world.

I wish for $25,000.

StrangerCoug · Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:50 am

Granted. You do.

I wish to relax.

StrangerCoug · Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:59 am

Granted. It's raining pears and you get crushed by their collective weight.

I wish this thread didn't die.

StrangerCoug · Sat Nov 19, 2011 7:18 am

Granted. You are responsible for repairs.

I wish for fruit punch.

StrangerCoug · Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:32 pm

Granted. You die in a car crash on the way home from the surgery and your heart is the only salvageable part of your body. I hope you didn't plan on being an organ donor.

I wish my sister's roommate didn't get on my case for not spending Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

StrangerCoug · Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:45 pm

Granted. It costs you £1 billion to have your flatmate offed, but at least you get away with murder for hire.

I wish to learn every language.

StrangerCoug · Wed Apr 25, 2012 12:21 pm

Granted. You suck at everything else.

I wish for Fat_Tony to explain himself to American scummers.

StrangerCoug · Thu Apr 26, 2012 12:52 pm

Granted. Your hearing gets worse.

I wish for a world with no drama.

StrangerCoug · Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:16 pm

Granted. You are forced to take custody of said friend, who is dumber than a rock. Not even toilet-trained, either.

I wish for lemonade.

StrangerCoug · Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:39 am

Granted. You drank antifreeze before going to bed.

I wish to find a new avatar.

StrangerCoug · Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:39 pm

Granted. You thought to kill yourself.

I wish to know what's with the high suicide rate here.

StrangerCoug · Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:38 am

Granted. You do

NOT

want to know what it's made of.

I wish drawing tablets weren't so damn expensive.

StrangerCoug · Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:00 pm

Granted. Major League Baseball has no legal authority over this thread anyway, making you look like an idiot for making that wish.

I wish to have a pet cougar.

StrangerCoug · Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:24 pm

Granted. You have no TV.

I wish kuribo would learn that, by my definiton of a cougar as in the sex slang, the woman has to be sexy. That is the ugliest woman I have ever seen.

StrangerCoug · Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:28 pm

Granted. Your money is mistaken as counterfeit rather than play money and you are arrested.

I wish to learn how to use a drawing pad.

StrangerCoug · Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:36 pm

Granted. You flunk everything else.

I wish I remembered to add that I'm getting a drawing tablet in the mail.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 01, 2012 1:43 pm

Granted. You get arrested for carrying it around without a concealed weapon license.

I wish for somebody I hate to crash into the infamous 11'-8" bridge in Georgia.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 01, 2012 2:22 pm

Granted. Supply cannot keep up with demand and you find yourself with a free-for-all in another sense of the word.

I wish to know what's up with the pro subscription I just paid for on GoComics. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

StrangerCoug · Fri May 04, 2012 1:38 pm

Granted. That's because we're now in World War III. Too little too late.

I wish to move to Las Vegas.

StrangerCoug · Fri May 04, 2012 2:52 pm

Granted. You are suspected of cheating and your test score is voided.

I wish to never have to sleep.

StrangerCoug · Fri May 04, 2012 4:51 pm

Granted. You are killed by a drunk driver on the way home.

I wish drmyshotgun would properly corrupt my wish.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 08, 2012 12:04 pm

Granted. It got itself an F.

I wish lightning never struck.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 08, 2012 11:38 pm

Granted. You are drinking septic waste.

I wish Korlash didn't steal my signatute.

StrangerCoug · Wed May 09, 2012 1:35 pm

Granted. You have another song entirely stuck instead.

I wish to relax.

StrangerCoug · Wed May 09, 2012 1:53 pm

Granted. An extension of the rope I am tying around your neck.

I wish I didn't think that I would become a sadist if I let myself go unchecked.

StrangerCoug · Fri May 11, 2012 4:40 pm

Granted. I

REALLY

don't think you wanted to see your parents doing the nasty in the dark.

I wish these songs would download faster.

StrangerCoug · Sat May 12, 2012 4:01 am

Granted. As a cheesy kid's show.

I wish for the dice to play nice with me in Get to 1500.

StrangerCoug · Sat May 19, 2012 10:50 am

Granted. Your best friend is.

I wish Korlash's corruption made an ounce of sense to me.

StrangerCoug · Sun May 20, 2012 11:20 am

Granted. Prison is pretty satisfying.

I wish to find myself again.

StrangerCoug · Mon May 21, 2012 2:37 pm

Granted. It has tons and tons of nasty side effects that gets it pulled off the market.

I wish for lemonade, legitimately all to myself, that isn't poisoned or peed in.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 22, 2012 1:42 pm

Granted. You become a worse listener.

I wish to find a group of honest card players.

StrangerCoug · Tue May 22, 2012 1:59 pm

Granted. It's poisoned.

I wish for the Russian Mafia to be dismantled.

StrangerCoug · Wed May 23, 2012 12:03 pm

Granted. Anything that would make you bleed instead causes your immediate death.

I wish I didn't live with my parents.

StrangerCoug · Wed May 23, 2012 1:10 pm

Granted. You are eaten by them.

I wish I had a teleporter.

StrangerCoug · Thu May 24, 2012 1:23 pm

Granted. It goes off right under your feet.

I wish that post didn't stick the song "TNT" in my head.

StrangerCoug · Fri May 25, 2012 12:49 pm

Granted. You stole the actual fedora he wore in the movie and got arrested.

I wish to get three more female players for my game so that I can fill up my pre-/ins.

StrangerCoug · Sat May 26, 2012 3:55 am

Granted. He stops breathing. You are under arrest for the murder of Sacha Brown Cohen. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided to you free of charge. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?

I wish to learn every language.

StrangerCoug · Sat May 26, 2012 2:35 pm

Granted. It's dead.

I wish I didn't have to do dishes tonight.

StrangerCoug · Sat May 26, 2012 2:52 pm

Granted. Apparently, you don't want to know how to do your job. Good luck making any sort of money.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

StrangerCoug · Sun May 27, 2012 3:55 am

Granted. You are killed out of jealousy.

I wish for someone to fill the other slot in Écarté. I imagine kdowns is pretty lonely...

StrangerCoug · Tue May 29, 2012 12:43 pm

Granted. Russian roulette... in real life. You are the first victim.

I wish I knew what the hell Mist7676 was talking about.

StrangerCoug · Thu May 31, 2012 2:12 pm

Granted. They're used. Eww.

I wish for Feirei to be a little more attentive in my game.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:17 pm

Granted. Your "cool p.s." is pornographic in nature and gets you banned.

I wish to take a tour of Europe.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:32 pm

Granted. Do I really need to come up with a corruption?

I wish I actually had something to corrupt.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 02, 2012 4:39 am

Granted. You have interconnecting plans for July 1.

I wish I didn't have to throw out a Hangman puzzle on another side because I had the lyrics wrong.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 02, 2012 4:33 pm

Granted. It's dead.

I wish to revive that cat.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 02, 2012 4:44 pm

Granted. The result of your productivity is a brand new crime family. Welcome to the Top Ten Most Wanted list.

I wish to eliminate the Mafia worldwide.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jun 03, 2012 3:38 am

Granted. You stole it from the convenience store and you are arrested.

I wish for the kids not to be such a nuisance.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:57 am

Granted. The sheer cost bankrupts you.

I wish Psyche didn't refuse to grant my wish.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:57 am

Granted. It does a crappy job.

I wish the people on second shift didn't steal one of the CD's I use during exercise breaks.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:49 am

Granted. It melts.

I wish the wheel would be nice to Feirei in the Wheel of Fortune game I'm modding.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jun 11, 2012 10:34 am

Granted. You killed your boss.

I wish for it to be September already.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:10 pm

Granted. It's used to kill you.

I wish to travel through time.

StrangerCoug · Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:57 pm

Granted. *impales you with it*

I wish for my game to fill quickly.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 15, 2012 4:52 am

Granted. They let you party, but the mob is invited, too. Guess what you get to do instead of go home?

I wish it didn't feel like I was skipping work. (I had to call in due to a problem with my brother's truck.)

StrangerCoug · Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:24 pm

Granted. You still can't drive one to save your life.

I wish this house were insulated.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:52 pm

Granted. Unfortunately, the same piece of evidence gets your best friend convicted.

I wish we didn't get rear-ended on the way to work.

StrangerCoug · Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:06 pm

Granted. Molecular life has ceased to exist.

I wish I had more control of my finances.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:33 pm

Granted. The Russian Mafia had moved in to town.

I wish to legally watch any TV show I wanted anytime I wanted for free.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:52 pm

Granted—for $10,000.

I wish fixing Lyrebird's watch didn't cost her an arm and a leg.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:19 am

Granted. Not enough to put an end to your drought.

I wish that post didn't get one of the songs from Winnie the Pooh (don't know the title, but part of it goes "And the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down") stuck in my head.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:57 am

Granted. Your work is good enough to get in museums... and unfortunately, also to get stolen.

I wish I lived in Las Vegas.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:00 pm

Granted. Welcome to the freak show.

I wish to know everything in history.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jun 26, 2012 12:44 pm

Granted.

Lyrebird, who was a

bomb

, has been poisoned on Night 1.
Feirei, who was a

Mafia role cop

, has been bombed on Night 1.

I wish my modem would stop overheating.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:33 pm

I wish animorpherv1 made a wish.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:36 pm

Granted. You go deaf.

I wish my body naturally kept itself clean without the need for a bath or shower.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jun 29, 2012 11:05 am

Granted. You try both at the same time and end up ripping your arms off.

I wish for this new air conditioner to be as effective as I want it to be.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:48 am

Granted. You're expelled from school.

I wish I did something useful with my life.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:08 am

Granted. You have unlimited wishes. But guess what? You did anyway. Nice waste of cyberspace.

I wish for—*gets modkilled*

StrangerCoug · Sun Jul 01, 2012 3:32 am

Granted. You finish your life.

I wish Psyche didn't stick that song in my head.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:23 am

Granted. You are crushed by it.

I wish I cared much right now.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:16 am

Granted. You understand too much of how the real-life Mafia works and they put a hit on you.

I wish I didn't have to do the dishes.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:16 am

Granted. It is inconvenient to use.

Stupid not checking the last page.

Granted. Doing your job without your brain switched on is

REALLY

easy when it's to make the grass in the graveyard look pretty.

I wish to go to Europe.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:57 am

Granted. It's counterfeit and you are arrested.

I wish drivers weren't such idiots.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:22 am

I wish Feirei remembered to wish.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:09 pm

Granted. It's around your neck.

I wish that [REDACTED].

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 16, 2012 2:13 pm

Granted. You choke on it.

I wish drmyshotgun didn't stick the song "Jurassic Park" by Weird Al Yankovic in my head.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 17, 2012 12:24 pm

Granted. It's just an illusion.

I wish I didn't come up with a cheap spoil.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:15 am

Granted—after you've already slipped on it and broken your neck.

I wish the theater shooting at The Dark Knight showing didn't happen.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:58 am

Granted. The team is then disbanded.

I wish I didn't get so bored easily.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:07 pm

Granted. You realize that chocolate is bitter and hate the taste of it being that dark.

I wish my sleep schedule would not wreak havoc on me in the morning.

StrangerCoug · Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:42 am

Granted. You are worse at actually doing.

I wish I had a pool in my backyard.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:46 am

Granted. I release sarin gas in the room while you're sleeping in it.

I wish for my dentist and eye appointments to go well.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:51 am

Granted. It is too heavy for you to carry.

I wish for air conditioning.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:27 pm

Banned. It works to your disadvantage.

I wish to get a new pair of glasses.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:09 pm

Granted. You get a bucket of raw sewage.

I wish for it to be September 14 at 2:00 PM MDT.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:14 pm

Granted. This is StrangerCoug's niece. Listen to me. My uncle is a big fat jerk!

I wish for it to be September 14, 2012 at 2:00 PM MDT.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:30 pm

Granted. It's poisoned.

I wish I kept clean without needing to shower.

StrangerCoug · Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:31 pm

Granted. You wish to die.

I wish Emberleaf would realize that I live in a desert and that daily rain would actually be a nice change.

StrangerCoug · Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:35 pm

Granted. You are convicted of drowning him in his own urine.

I wish that weren't gross.

StrangerCoug · Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:43 pm

Granted. Thank you for wasting cyberspace.

I wish for a payday bonus.

StrangerCoug · Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:25 pm

Granted. You give Lyrebird forty lashes for infecting animorpherv1's computer, and you two earn my disgust for being into S&M.

I wish I didn't have to postpone quitting work until the end of September.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:21 am

Granted. It's called child pornography.

I wish I did a better job of balancing The Heterosexual Revolution.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jul 28, 2012 10:58 am

̊Granted. I don't think that wish needs to be spoiled.

I wish I didn't drive like a lunatic in Midnight Club Los Angeles.

StrangerCoug · Sat Jul 28, 2012 2:31 pm

Granted—on your casket.

I wish to be a better swimmer.

StrangerCoug · Sun Jul 29, 2012 7:10 am

Granted. It isn't. You now look like an idiot.

I wish for my Japanese writing stuff to get here faster.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 31, 2012 1:47 pm

Granted. Enjoy hell on earth.

I wish to control the passage of time.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:43 pm

Granted. It's poisoned.

I wish to know how a young girl like Mist7676 knows that drmyshotgun's penis is three inches long.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:46 pm

The thought was disturbing anyway.

Granted. It kills you.

I wish I actually bothered with a proper shave every day.

StrangerCoug · Tue Jul 31, 2012 2:52 pm

Granted. You get to clean up my remains.

I wish I could tolerate children.

StrangerCoug · Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:30 am

Granted. You eat C4. Nice move, moron.

I wish I got paid to play arcade games.

StrangerCoug · Fri Aug 03, 2012 1:06 pm

Granted. It costs all of your money, and the electric bill is about three months overdue now.

I wish for Mom to get back soon...

StrangerCoug · Fri Aug 03, 2012 5:02 pm

Granted. You can't swim.

I wish drmyshotgun read my post correctly. She wasn't sick, just on an errand.

StrangerCoug · Sat Aug 04, 2012 3:52 am

Granted. It helps that they are all deaf and cannot hear you. I hope you know sign language.

I wish to not flail like mad at the pool.

StrangerCoug · Mon Aug 06, 2012 11:55 am

Granted. You were on Mars; you are now on Pluto. Enjoy freezing to death.

I wish I didn't feel so worn out when I got home from work.

StrangerCoug · Mon Aug 06, 2012 12:11 pm

Granted. The human race has become incapable of reproduction.

I wish I had a cat.

StrangerCoug · Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:12 am

Granted. It's dead.

I wish I didn't feel like I'm going to burn out...

StrangerCoug · Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:24 am

Granted. You are charged $1,000/hr for self-discipline lessons.

I wish for a nice, cold glass of soda.

StrangerCoug · Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:48 pm

Granted. Your happiness over things people find depressing gets you deemed clinically insane and sent to the psychiatric ward.

I wish I had my own private jet.

StrangerCoug · Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:07 pm

Granted. You are policy-lynched every game.

I wish to improve my town game.

StrangerCoug · Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:21 pm

Granted. It's poisoned.

I wish it were forever the weekend.

StrangerCoug · Fri Aug 10, 2012 4:23 pm

Granted. The salvation is one-shot. Since he already got you out of the building fire, he can't save you from the tactical nuke.

I wish I lived on my own.

StrangerCoug · Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:13 am

Granted. He wished for you to go to prison, and that is granted without a spoil.

I wish the Resistance were any sort of a match for me.

StrangerCoug · Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:45 am

Granted. As much as she wants you, you're dating somebody else, and she doesn't like that. Since she'll never get you, she hires a hit man to kill you.

I wish to know why so many spoils involve death.

StrangerCoug · Sun Aug 12, 2012 7:10 am

Granted. They like men, all right, just not you. They send a lynch mob after you for assuming all lesbians are misandrist.

I wish I were any good at backgammon.

StrangerCoug · Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:33 pm

Granted. He then rats you out as his accomplice.

I wish I didn't misread Mith as Mist in AniX's post and cause me to think he got the genders mixed up. (The former doesn't capitalize his username.)

StrangerCoug · Mon Aug 20, 2012 12:21 pm

Granted. It's stolen.

I wish to relax.

StrangerCoug · Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:40 pm

Granted. You have the distinction of being the only person on death row with neon green hair.

I wish to see drmyshotgun's neon green hair.

StrangerCoug · Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:07 pm

Granted. He was a bomb, and you happened to kill him. There goes you, too.

I wish the thought of living in a college dorm a year from now didn't seem so scary.

StrangerCoug · Wed Aug 22, 2012 2:30 pm

Granted. She has every STD known to humankind.

I wish Looker (and I myself, for that matter) could find a real girlfriend that was not infected by STD's.

StrangerCoug · Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:44 pm

Granted. You and your ex-teacher are now regarded as perverts.

I wish it didn't smell like sand for some reason in here.

StrangerCoug · Fri Aug 24, 2012 12:48 pm

Granted. They're not poisoned; you just have diabetes.

I wish this new pair of glasses weren't so hard on my eyes. I mean, I needed the clearer vision, but still...

StrangerCoug · Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:11 am

Granted. You still can't solve them.

I wish I weren't in such doubt about how exactly I plan to go about life.

StrangerCoug · Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:03 pm

Granted. Comedy Central has canceled your show because you are deemed too offensive.

I wish for someone to post in my new game.

StrangerCoug · Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:35 am

Granted. They all die of blood loss.

I wish to sharpen my Spanish skills.

StrangerCoug · Tue Sep 04, 2012 12:35 pm

Granted. Doesn't get you out of jail, sadly.

I wish for someone to help me put my game together already.

StrangerCoug · Thu Sep 06, 2012 2:00 pm

Granted. It instead takes you to the wrong location.

I wish for lemonade.

StrangerCoug · Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:01 pm

Granted. They all spam the thread.

I wish the song "Michelle" weren't stuck in my head.

StrangerCoug · Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:43 pm

Granted. See post #9914.

I wish I didn't throw up all over drmyshotgun's leather couch in another thread.

StrangerCoug · Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:48 pm

Granted. You win by default because you're the only person to bother with submitting pics, which kinda cheapens it.

I wish I liked alcohol.

StrangerCoug · Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:51 pm

Granted. A serial killer plotting to kill us joins the thread.

I wish for Dirty Dealing to be fun.

StrangerCoug · Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:50 am

Granted. I was supposed to have banned you, but somebody else reversed my decision... *

BANG!

*

I wish to improve my Spanish, especially my listening and speaking skills. (Writing I seem to pretty much have down pat.)

StrangerCoug · Sun Sep 16, 2012 4:21 am

Granted. Your drink is laced with sulfuric acid.

I wish North Korea would get its act together.

StrangerCoug · Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:36 am

Granted. You are crushed to death under it.

I wish to know what the new season of Wheel of Fortune will be like.

StrangerCoug · Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:49 pm

Granted. You start mistyping your own username as RchardGHP and wonder why you can't get into your account.

I wish to kill Lindsay Lohan and get away with it.

StrangerCoug · Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:23 pm

Granted. You're fired within a day.

I wish to win something on The Price is Right Live.

StrangerCoug · Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:17 am

Granted. I start bragging about how I went and you didn't, and our friendship goes sour.

I wish I could relive that experience.

StrangerCoug · Sat Sep 22, 2012 1:51 pm

Granted. You're dead. That qualifies as change in my book.

I wish to win 1,000 Blank White Cards.

StrangerCoug · Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:48 pm

Granted. Your work falls apart overnight. Haste makes waste, kid.

I wish for— *gets modkilled*

StrangerCoug · Sat Sep 29, 2012 9:39 am

Granted. It goes

TOO

well, and you are now radioactive.

I wish I had more financial freedom.

StrangerCoug · Sun Sep 30, 2012 4:13 am

Granted. They are very cost-prohibitive and you're bankrupt by the end of the experiment.

I wish to find out the name of this song stuck in my head, which is kind of hard to do with two lines playing one after another in a loop and me only understanding one of them ("hold on, hold on").

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:48 am

Granted. You decide to kill yourself. And there's a party.

I wish I didn't have to do chores.

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 15, 2012 7:18 am

Granted. You are killed out of jealousy.

I wish to stop killing people.

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:26 am

Granted. You succeed in committing a murder in each of the 10 most populous cities in New Zealand. Enjoy the rest of your life behind bars.

I wish for a college grant.

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:16 pm

Granted. She rapes you.

I wish for something from the early 1990s.

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:33 am

Granted. You use it as firewood to kill Aether and are arrested for arson resulting in murder.

I wish Aether properly corrupted my wish. (The Twilight series didn't start until 2005.)

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:32 pm

Granted. You are killed in said invasion.

I wish for every member of the Taliban to be painfully disemboweled.

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:53 am

Granted. It's undercooked.

I wish to play cards.

StrangerCoug · Thu Oct 25, 2012 11:12 am

Granted. Turns out the doomsday rumors were true, though...

I wish for a more filling snack than a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

StrangerCoug · Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:42 am

Granted. You decide it's no fun if you can always evade the police, so you don't turn to crime except in an emergency.

I wish for my muse to come back.

StrangerCoug · Sat Oct 27, 2012 5:17 am

I wish Aether remembered to wish.

StrangerCoug · Sat Oct 27, 2012 1:19 pm

...breathing? Granted.

I wish SimCity Social weren't so addictive.

StrangerCoug · Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:29 am

The genie gets bored with you and moves on, then.

I wish for I didn't have a dream about an altercation with my sister regarding watching my nephew.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 4:18 am

I wish for Aether to be banned from this thread.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:11 pm

Granted. I then get banned for hacking into StrangerCoug's account.

I wish I didn't feel tired.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:17 pm

Granted. *overdoses you on No-Doz*

I wish I lived in Las Vegas.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 4:08 pm

Denied.

I wish Aether would stop being a nuisance.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:33 pm

Granted. Its competitors from Microsoft get so much hype.

I wish Dirty Dealing could have gone on a bit longer. The concept was fun.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:19 pm

Granted. Your eventual career ends up having nothing to do whatsoever with the material with which you were tested.

I wish RichardGHP knew that the Dirty Dealing I was talking about was my just-finished game, not a TV show.

StrangerCoug · Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:37 pm

Granted. There is nerve gas in the bag.

I wish natural disasters did not exist.

StrangerCoug · Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:18 am

Granted. The mod you get modkills you on page one.

I wish Aether properly corrupted my wish (though I applaud him for wishing this time).

StrangerCoug · Wed Oct 31, 2012 3:37 pm

Granted. You are worse at convincing.

I wish my new avatar were even cuter.

StrangerCoug · Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:15 am

Granted. The experiment goes horribly wrong and you are disfigured for life.

I wish I could resist the temptation to troll Aether.

StrangerCoug · Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:41 pm

I wish to die.

StrangerCoug · Thu Nov 01, 2012 4:44 pm

Granted. The day after that, however, is when you start your sentence in a maximum-security prison.

I wish to know Aether's age.

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:01 am

Granted. Welcome to the gutter.

I wish to visit all 50 states.

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:46 am

Granted. It destroys your mind either way.

I wish for us all to collectively ignore Aether.

StrangerCoug · Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:51 am

Granted. You are under arrest for the murder of Aether. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you free of charge. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?

I wish my brother would stop being a lazy bum.