Trigger Warning: Word Discussion: Gaslighting

[Titus]

I recently just finished Dogs v Cats mafia, a mostly excellently modded game by thestatusquo. We did have one point of contention and that was regarding the use of the word "gaslighting".

I felt that I was being gaslighted by some players in the game (accuracy is irrelevant for this discussion). I called them out on it. This triggered other players and they reported it to Shea (as is their right). Shea then asked me to stop using the word.

I disagreed with his decision but not to the point where I felt Shea should be reported. Shea was caught in a rock in a hard place. Some of his players clearly felt uncomfortable and Shea went with the decision that benefitted the majority.

I felt this was wrong for a few reasons

1) It prevented me from expressing my truth in the thread. We wouldn't censor people who accused another player of lying, so why is gaslighting different? It forced me to argue much less authenticly and that likely had a small part in me getting eliminated.

2) It's triggering to me to not be able to call out gaslighting as it takes me back to situations where I was unable to call out gaslighting in my marriage.

3) It permits the comfort of other players to dictate how players can speak. I wasn't insulting other players OoG. I merely called out what I perceived to be happening based off the info I had.

I'd like to know what can be done to prevent this situation again. Do we ban the word gaslighting so that everyone is on an even playing field or do we treat the word gaslighting like a subset of lying or do we do something else entirely.

[Titus]

I was always intending for gaslighting to be someone intending to cause me to doubt reality. I didn't and don't feel the term should be exclusive to domestic abuse situations. However, listening to the concerns of everyone else is precisely why I made this thread.

I never felt the scumteam were unfair for playing the way they did.

It looks like, if the mods comment at all, they will likely ban the word from use. Until then, I will as well. I just needed to know where the site stood on such a word as a whole so I knew what I was getting into next time. I'll still be here as much as I can.

I think overall this was a productive and honest conversation.

[Titus]

@Flea, Thank you for your posts. I'm sorry I caused you panic.