reasons:
1. the threat of passing 1000 posts and having to live as "Mafia Scum" hangs like a sword over my head every day
2. i exhibit a lot of goonish behavior; if anyone needs someone to loom behind them and look intimidating for an upcoming negotation, i'm freelancing
3. much like the goonies i never say die -- in fact, when was the last time you remember me saying that
4. i am appealing to the mauve solidarity between us; one might consider such a role as being underacknowledged in comparison to its merit, like a goon might be
5. my second favorite role, behind VT
6. most likely will not constitute any meaningful change unless I decide to play in mafia games. however, newly secure in my goonliness, I may be motivated to do so. in fact i might even replace into a game if you need me to, wink nudge
7. such an ungainly and limp attempt at bribery as the point above is surely befitting of a goon
8. not a username pun and thus an act of counterculture
9. i am currently the only "goon-titled" member involved in site administration; securing this position would be a political windfall for a bloc serving many new members, who might be encouraged to engage more thoroughly with site workings
10. i just think it's neat
11. having a red herring for those trying to figure out the mechanics of the default titles adds to site mystique, a currency that may hold value to a website as old as ours, especially with the phpbb upgrade and our inevitable march towards modernity