Spoil a Wish II

[Alianna]

Granted. Your job switches to night shift and the cat wakes you up every evening for breakfast.

I wish to roll SK in my next game.

[Alianna]

Granted. The caffeine is extracted via the process in this video.

I wish it would snow.

[Alianna]

Granted. All of the money in the world is transferred into your bank account, leading to a global economic crisis.

I wish for a cup of tea.

[Alianna]

Granted. I hope you like shoveling snow when it's -40°C.

I wish I wasn't addicted to mafia.

[Alianna]

Granted. You win a million Zimbabwe dollars.

I wish I had a million Zimbabwe dollars.

[Alianna]

Granted. You are fired and no longer have a work computer.

I wish Mondays didn't exist.

[Alianna]

Granted. He instead blasts The Duck Song on loop.

I wish my mom wasn't a flat-Earther.

[Alianna]

Granted. Instead, she claws you in the eye and leaves you permanently half-blind.

I wish to be better at cooking.

[Alianna]

Granted. Texas and Louisiana merge into one and select a new name. As there no longer exists a state named Texas, it is not hot in Texas.

I wish I had a decent sleep schedule.

[Alianna]

Granted. You're world-famous and an author, but you're not famous for your writing. You're instead famous for committing a mass murder, which you're now in prison for.

I wish for more friends.

[Alianna]

Granted. I force-feed her Nutraloaf.

I wish I had the answers to my identity crisis.