[serious] what do you like on bagels?

[Umlaut]

Cream cheese and either salmon or jam depending on whether I'm more in the mood for savory or sweet.

But bagels also make excellent breakfast sandwiches, in which case eggs and some sort of pork product are usually the way to go.

[Umlaut]

Legitimately if you have to toast a bagel to make it good you are not eating a good bagel. It's ok to like them that way, but toasting a fresh bagel made by someone who knows what they're doing is kinda like ordering an aged steak and then dousing it with ketchup. :/

I mean, sure, if you have an oven-warm bagel from a proper bakery that knows their stuff then there's no need to toast it, but if you live in the approximately 98% of the US alone where that just isn't something you're going to get then doing the best you can with those circlebread imposters is a totally reasonable lifestyle choice.