Open 899 - The Pizza Kids Coalition [Game Over]

[Prism]

Open 899 - The Pizza Kids Coalition

Modded by Prism and fferyllt.
Setup by mith, ruleset unashamedly plagiarized from Hectic, and for formatting I am greatly indebted to northsidegal.

9 children, all ostensibly pizza fanatics, gather around the table at the local Chuck E. Cheese. They debate among themselves the merits of pineapple on pizza, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of deep dish and stuffed crust, and share stories of the best spots from family vacations.

As the hours drone on and the parents grow bored, the conversations reach a fever pitch, and the real Charles Entertainment Cheese, some underpaid early 20s stoner in a poorly manufactured foam suit that somehow still has the energy to pretend to care, emerges from a backroom. He awkwardly strolls to the table, then wordlessly places a sealed envelope in the center. He turns his gaze to each child one at a time, then turns around, walks, and disappears once more into the employee area.

One of the children opens it up and reads the note aloud.

"Two of you secretly prefer lasagna." The implication dawns on them.

Heretics live among us!

Game Status

Game Over! And the victors were...

Spoiler:

The Dirty Lasagna Lovers!

Players

Spoiler:

1. implosion
   
2. Klick
   
3. DeasVail
   
4. fireisredsir
   ssbm_Kyouko
   
   
5. T3
   
6. gob
   Elements
   
   
7. DragonEater70
   
8. Dunnstral
   Ydrasse
   
   
9. Appearance

Alive

Spoiler:

1. implosion, a
   Dirty Lasagna Lover
   , survived and won!
   
2. Appearance, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was endgamed!

Dead

Spoiler:

1. Dunnstral, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Day 1!
   
2. gob, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Night 1!
   
3. fireisredsir, a
   Dirty Lasagna Lover
   , was eliminated on Day 2!
   
4. DragonEater70, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Night 2!
   
5. T3, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Day 3!
   
6. Klick, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Night 3!
   
7. DeasVail, a
   Real Pizza Kid
   , was eliminated on Day 4!

Events

Coalition Phase Start | Coalition Phase End
Day 1 Start | Day 1 End
Day 2 Start | Day 2 End
Day 3 Start | Day 3 End
Day 4 Start | Day 4 End
Endgame

[Prism]

Ruleset

1. Fundamentals

• All site-wide rules apply. Read and respect them.
  
• This is a game. Have fun, and keep the game fun for other people. This might be the most important rule.
  
• There is no personal communication regarding this game outside of this gamethread & associated PTs.
  
• Do not quote any private communication (either real or fabricated) with the moderator, backup moderator (fferyllt), or fellow players. Do not reference timestamps of private communication.
  
• Quoting directly from your role PM is not allowed.
  
• Heated discussion and debate is allowed, but personal attacks are not. I reserve the right to protect my players, and all other community members. Please PM myself and/or the backup moderator, fferyllt, if you feel something needs our immediate intervention.
  
• Play to your win condition.

2. Phases & Activity

• Days will have a 10 day deadline with the possibility for extensions for replacements. All Night phases will last 48 hours.
  
• Please post at least once every 48 hours. If you fail to do so, you will be prodded.
  
• At the time you would receive a third prod, or fail to respond to a prod by posting in thread within 24 hours, you will be force replaced.
  
• Elimination votes must not be spoilered and should be formatted as VOTE: Player or
  Vote: Player
  , or they will not be counted.
  
• Coalition votes must not be spoilered and should be formatted as VOTE: Player,
  Vote: Player
  , or HEAL: Player, or they will not be counted. Coalition votes can come either piecemeal, such as by voting for a single player individually, or by specifying all 5 votes.
  
• Abbreviating someone's name is acceptable, so long as I can discern who you were voting for without trouble. If I think it should count as a vote, it will.
  
• Unvoting is not required, but is much appreciated. For coalition votes, if you exceed 5 total votes but do not specify an unvote, I will replace your oldest vote(s) by default.
  
• The following is a list of outlawed shenanigans:
  • Using invisible text, codes, cryptography, etc.
    
  • Using provable randomness (eg. dice tags)
    
  • Editing your posts (if you have the power to do so)
    
  • Quoting any PTs you may have access to
• If any of these offenses are committed, I have the right to force-replace you from the game, or, with listmod permission, modkill you.

3. Miscellaneous

• My mod colour is #2F66A9; don't use it or anything similar. Do not attempt to impersonate me.
  
• Feel free to address me in-thread, but if there is a particularly egregious mistake please PM me. Small matters like errors in the votecount can be posted in-thread.
  
• I have the final say on any issue. If you disagree with any action or inaction taken by me, feel free to PM myself or the relevant listmod (Something_Smart).
  
• While I have tried to be thorough, I reserve the right to take corrective action with or without warning for any issue I feel was omitted in this ruleset.

[Prism]

Setup & Mechanics

The setup for this game is The Coalition.

• The role distribution is 7x
  Real Pizza Kids
  (Town) and 2x
  Dirty Lasagna Lovers
  (Mafia). Dirty Lasagna Lovers are known to each other and have daytalk.
• On Day 1, each player may propose a coalition of five players. This coalition may include the player themselves.
• When at least five players agree on the same coalition, the coalition phase will instantly end. If all five players in the final coalition are Real Pizza Kids, the game ends in a Real Pizza Kids victory. Otherwise, the game will proceed to play out as a 7:2 mountainous game, resetting the votes and proceeding as a normal Day 1.
• An elapsed coalition phase deadline results in a failed coalition.
• Note that unlike many Coalition moderators, I will not be counting elimination votes nor allow an elimination to be locked in before the end of the coalition phase.

Town Role PM

You are a simple, good child. You like pizza, whether it be pepperoni, mozzarella, and/or anchovy. You like pizza with salami and some cheese and oregano. Love fills your heart and overflows into the world beyond. You are here at this mediocre strip mall Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate that love, the love for pizza that you share with others.

Nestled within that love, however, is a dark inner core. There is hatred in your heart, hatred so vicious that it could lead you to commit unspeakable violence.

It is not enough to love pizza. You must love only pizza.

You hate those low-down inhuman Dirty Lasagna Lovers with all your heart and soul. You and your compatriots will hunt them down, cut out their tongues, and impale them on the 1000-ticket toy swords you got from the counter and leave these heretics bleeding in the game lobby if it's the last thing you do.

fferyllt, you are a

Real Pizza Kid

.

You win when you either successfully create a coalition of 5 Real Pizza Kids on Day 1, or when only players aligned with the Real Pizza Kids remain alive. At least one player aligned with the Real Pizza Kids must be alive to fulfill this win condition.

Mafia Role PM

You are a simple, good child, but with a dark secret. You like pizza, whether it be pepperoni, mozzarella, and/or anchovy. You like pizza with salami and some cheese and oregano. Love fills your heart and overflows into the world beyond. You are here at this mediocre strip mall Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate that love, the love for pizza that you share with others.

But you also love lasagna, maybe a little bit more than pizza. What's wrong with that? Why do the other kids hate lasagna lovers so much? Why aren't you allowed to like both? Why do you have to choose?

And why did Charles rat you out like that? When did he overhear you? You feel so betrayed, even if you don't quite have the emotional intelligence and words to fully understand that quite yet.

You can't let the other kids know your secret. You don't know what they're planning, but you can see the bloodlust in those eyes, the way they're polishing the toy swords they won with the little napkins. You figure you should do the same.

fferyllt, you are a

Dirty Lasagna Lover

. You may talk with your partner, Prism, at anytime here, and beginning on Night 1 you and your partner will gain access to a factional nightkill.

You win when only players aligned with the Dirty Lasagna Lovers remain alive, or nothing can prevent the same. At least one player aligned with the Dirty Lasagna Lovers must be alive to fulfill this win condition.

[Prism]

I made a mistake and had to reroll the setup.

For full transparency, I accidentally sent Appearance a copy of implosion's role PM. The original scumteam was ssbm_Kyouko and DragonEater70.

You have my sincerest apologies for the error and any confusion it caused. The setup has been completely rerolled.

[Prism]

All new Role PMs have now been sent. The game will start when all players have confirmed.

All players have now confirmed.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.0

The children have mixed reactions to the news. Some think the note a prank. Who could like lasagna more than pizza? This sounds like that mouse is pulling their tails. That rascal!

Others are adamant that Charles would never lie. He's a shining beacon of truth, and the creator of all the wonderful pizza that they had in front of them at this moment. What if there really are filthy lasagna loving heathens here, breathing the same air?

Discussions grow heated, and those that doubt the existence of these supposed Dirty Lasagna Lovers fall under a swift and intense scrutiny.

"Oh yeah? If you REALLY like pizza, is it better hot or cold?" "Domino's or Little Caesar's?" "What's the best pizza you've ever had?"

Finally, one of the children hits on an idea. "I bet there are only 5 people in the whole wide world who can appreciate pizza the way I do. Everyone else is just a big fat phony!"

"I'm one!" "No me!" "No I like pizza the most!" "We should get a table all to ourselves!" The children clamor to be included in the ranks of the pizza-loving elite. They have sheathed their thin plastic swords away for now. But how long can this debate, merely unhealthily ostracizing but not yet violent, last?

"Yeah, and we carve out the eyes of the rest with our spoons and leave their dead bodies under the skeeball machines!" Oh dear. Their attention spans are frightfully short.

One of the parents looks over with mild concern. It's probably nothing. Back to looking at Pinterest.

Coalition	Voters
Not Voting (9)	implosion, Klick, DeasVail, ssbm_Kyouko, T3, Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse, Appearance

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

The Coalition Phase has begun, and you may now post. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

Some clarification is useful for votecounts in this phase.

A vote for a player is a vote to include them in the Coalition. I am not keeping a parallel votecount for an elimination in this phase.

• Coalition votes must not be spoilered and should be formatted as VOTE: Player,
  Vote: Player
  , or HEAL: Player, or they will not be counted. Coalition votes can come either piecemeal, such as by voting for a single player individually, or by specifying all 5 votes.

• Note that unlike many Coalition moderators, I will not be counting elimination votes nor allow an elimination to be locked in before the end of the coalition phase.

I did not include in my ruleset what to do for the HURT: Player tag. I will treat this as a Coalition unvote or ignore it if you were not voting that player. You can therefore safely use it to express disapproval of a slot.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.1

Coalition	Voters
Klick, Appearance, DragonEater70, Elements (1)	DragonEater70
implosion, DragonEater70, ssbm_Kyouko (1)	Ydrasse
Elements, T3 (1)	Appearance
ssbm_Kyouko (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
DeasVail (1)	Klick
Not Voting (4)	implosion, DeasVail, T3, Elements

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

btw, i just realised my browser messes up the font that prism uses for the vcs

Just checking: Is the latest VC readable for everyone?

Most mobile browsers render a different font than the one I use, which is fine by me, but if the VC is mangled or difficult to parse, let me know and I'll switch it up.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.2

Coalition	Voters
Klick, Ydrasse, DragonEater70, DeasVail (1)	Klick
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, DeasVail (1)	DragonEater70
implosion, DragonEater70, ssbm_Kyouko (1)	Ydrasse
Elements, T3 (1)	Appearance
ssbm_Kyouko, Elements (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
Elements, DragonEater70 (1)	implosion
Not Voting (3)	DeasVail, T3, Elements

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.3

Chuck E. Cheese's Spaghetti and Meatball Pizza

Coalition	Voters
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, DeasVail, Appearance (1)	DragonEater70
Klick, Ydrasse, DragonEater70, DeasVail (1)	Klick
Elements, T3, DragonEater70, Ydrasse (1)	Appearance
implosion, DragonEater70, ssbm_Kyouko (1)	Ydrasse
ssbm_Kyouko, Elements (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
Elements, DragonEater70 (1)	implosion
Not Voting (3)	DeasVail, T3, Elements

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

implosion has been prodded. He has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.4

Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza

Coalition	Voters
Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse, Klick, ssbm_Kyouko (1)	Appearance
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, Appearance, DeasVail (1)	Ydrasse
DragonEater70, Elements, Appearance, Ydrasse, ssbm_Kyouko (1)	DragonEater70
Klick, DragonEater70, DeasVail, Elements (1)	Klick
ssbm_Kyouko, Elements, Klick (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
Elements, DragonEater70 (1)	implosion
Not Voting (3)	DeasVail, T3, Elements

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.5

Coalition	Voters
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, Appearance, DeasVail (2)	Ydrasse, DeasVail
Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse, Klick, DeasVail (1)	Appearance
Klick, DragonEater70, DeasVail, Elements (1)	Klick
ssbm_Kyouko, Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
Elements, DragonEater70 (1)	implosion
Not Voting (3)	T3, Elements, DragonEater70

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

Ydrasse has been prodded. She has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.6

Ramen noodle pizza. Yay!

Coalition	Voters
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, Appearance, DeasVail (4)	Ydrasse, DeasVail, Klick, Appearance
Elements, Klick, Ydrasse, DragonEater70, Appearance (1)	implosion
ssbm_Kyouko, Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse, Appearance (1)	ssbm_Kyouko
Not Voting (3)	T3, Elements, DragonEater70

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

No coalition has been achieved. The Coalition Phase deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-10 23:00:00).

[Prism]

T3 has been prodded. He has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

[Prism]

Pretty sure that's a hammer.

I'll doublecheck and resolve when I get to a desk.

[Prism]

Coalition Vote Count 0.7

A Mountain Dew and Doritos pizza

Coalition	Voters
Ydrasse, DragonEater70, Klick, Appearance, ssbm_Kyouko (5)	DragonEater70, Klick, Ydrasse, DeasVail, ssbm_Kyouko
Elements, Klick, Ydrasse, DragonEater70, Appearance (1)	implosion
Klick, DragonEater70, Elements, Appearance, DeasVail (1)	Appearance
Not Voting (2)	T3, Elements

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to form a coalition.

A coalition has been achieved! The Coalition Phase is over, stand by for resolution.

[Prism]

Coalition Phase End

This five? Oh yes, this five. You are sure of it.

"You 4 stay over there! I bet you ALL love lasagna!" "Yeah!" "That's right!" "Haha, dorks!"

The 5 REAL pizza kids look at each other and nod in triumph and resume their conversation, while those lasagna loving losers are left to their own devices, lucky to escape with their lives.

"I think plain cheese is the best, everything else is just extra"

"Cheese is okay, but no pizza is REALLY complete without pepperoni!"

"And anchovies! And Mountain Dew!"

They are glad to be in such good-hearted, sincere, pizza-loving company, even as their preferences differ. Maybe the other children did like pizza, but it couldn't rival this group.

Charles appears from the backroom. The underpaid early 20s stoner is still manning the counter, but doesn't seem bothered by the fact that all of the employees are currently at the counter and not in the suit. He doesn't get paid enough to care.

Charles approaches the children's table, and the cacophony of healthy debate and ostracization of peers dies down. Only the fun chimes and rhythms of arcade games are audible.

He looks each child in the eye one a time, staring deeply into their soul. He takes a napkin, and a pen materializes in his hand. He scribbles.

"Corruption festers among you. It can't be helped. VIOLENCE IS THE ONLY ANSWER."

Charles steps behind an arcade machine and vanishes.

The coalition has failed!

The Elimination Phase of Day 1 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.0

The group of 5 disperses, and the 9 reconcile. Mutual distrust once again swirls throughout the room before settling to the floor.

"I'm sorry for the real pizza lovers out there, guys. I swear I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too."

"...But you all understand, right? We can't stop now. We're in too deep. Charles said violence is the only answer."

"YEAH! WE CAN'T LET THOSE LASAGNA LOVING SNAKES LEAVE THIS ROOM AND POLLUTE THE WORLD WITH THEIR HERETICAL TONGUES!"

The group begins to chant. "UP WITH PIZZA, DOWN WITH LASAGNA."

"FIND THE EVIL! KILL THE EVIL! CUT OPEN THEIR VEINS AND USE THEIR BLOOD AS A DIPPING SAUCE!"

Haha, these kids think of the silliest little games!

Player	Votes
Not Voting (9)	implosion, Klick, DeasVail, ssbm_Kyouko, T3, Elements, DragonEater70, Ydrasse, Appearance

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 1 deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

Searching for a replacement for Elements.

[Prism]

gob replaces Elements. Welcome!

[Prism]

I have no pronoun preference. You can use any gendered terms interchangeably.

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.1

Player	Votes
Appearance (1)	ssbm_Kyouko (662)
ssbm_Kyouko (1)	DragonEater70 (665)
Not Voting (7)	implosion, Klick, DeasVail, T3, gob, Ydrasse, Appearance

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 1 deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

Searching for a replacement for Ydrasse.

[Prism]

Dunnstral replaces Ydrasse. Welcome!

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.2

Player	Votes
ssbm_Kyouko (2)	Appearance (717), DragonEater70 (734)
DragonEater70 (2)	T3 (736), gob (741)
Appearance (1)	DeasVail (693)
Dunnstral (1)	implosion (746)
Not Voting (3)	Klick, Dunnstral, ssbm_Kyouko (750)

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 1 deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

Klick has been prodded. He has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

[Prism]

Searching for a replacement for ssbm_Kyouko.

[Prism]

fireisredsir replaces ssbm_Kyouko. Welcome!

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.3

Advertised as Christmas Lasagna Dessert.

Player	Votes
DragonEater70 (2)	T3 (736), gob (741)
fireisredsir (1)	DragonEater70 (734)
Dunnstral (1)	implosion (746)
Appearance (1)	DeasVail (870)
Not Voting (4)	Klick, Dunnstral, fireisredsir (750), Appearance (840)

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 1 deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

DeasVail has been prodded. He has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

[Prism]

Dunnstral and Klick have been prodded. They have 24 hours to post before I begin searching for replacements.

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.4

Player	Votes
fireisredsir (2)	DragonEater70 (734), gob (924)
DragonEater70 (1)	T3 (736)
Dunnstral (1)	implosion (746)
Appearance (1)	DeasVail (870)
Not Voting (4)	Klick, Dunnstral, fireisredsir (750), Appearance (840)

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 1 deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-20 17:45:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 1.5

Player	Votes
Dunnstral (5)	implosion (746), Appearance (1022), Klick (1058), DeasVail (1062), DragonEater70 (1063)
fireisredsir (1)	gob (924)
implosion (1)	T3 (1038)
Not Voting (2)	Dunnstral, fireisredsir (750)

With 9 players alive, it takes 5 votes to eliminate.

An elimination has been achieved! Day 1 is over. Please stand by for resolution.

[Prism]

Day 1 End

"Guys, guys, I think I got one!" shouts a shrill voice at a corner of the table.

"Dunnstral said lasagna isn't THAT bad when I asked him to choose between pizza with toothpaste for sauce or lasagna!"

Audible gasps fill the room. Could it really be?

"Aw come on guys! It's toothpaste! I love a good pizza pie just as much as the rest of you, it's way better than that stupid lasagna!"

"So you said it, then? You admit it?"

An accusation cuts through the air.

"Yeah but it's toothpaste for crying out loud!"

That settles it. The toy swords stay sheathed, for they have a better idea.

"Mom, mom I want to go home!" shrieks Dunnstral.

But his mother is nowhere to be seen. The children grab at each limb and drag him to the line of Whac-A-Mole machines.

"TELL US WHO THE OTHER HERETIC IS"

"I'm innocent guys I really like pizza! Even with toothpaste!"

"LET YOUR LYING TONGUE REPENT! FOR ONCE IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFE SPEW THE LIBERATING TRUTH! TELL US THE OTHER HERETIC NOW!"

"I can't!"

With dual hammers the job is finished fast.

The eyes of Charles appear on one of the machine's rudimentary digital screens. They glance sharply at Dunnstral. The eyes close, then shake left and right. No good. They have felled one of their own.

The screen returns to black.

Dunnstral was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

Night 1 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-01-22 12:00:00).

[Prism]

Day 2 Start

The group disperses for a little bit. It will be easier to hide Dunnstral's absence that way if his mom comes looking.

Hunting down lasagna lovers is a sacred duty, but it is time for respite. The children take some time to relax and genuinely enjoy themselves, spending their tokens on basketball games, the Cyclone Jr. machine, and Hammerhead.

It is a time of peace, joy, and prosperity for everyone. Maybe not for Dunnstral, whose skull is fragmented and brain is spilling out onto the floor beneath the basketball machines, but otherwise these are truly halcyon hours of leisure.

But none of the children have forgotten their inviolate duty. Eventually, they reconvene.

Something is wrong. Counting is not their strong suit, but they manage. How many are missing? One? Two? No, there's an extra person?

Eventually they come to an agreement. One is missing. Maybe it was one of those filthy little lasagna lovers. Good riddance!

A quick search reveals the truth. Taped underneath the ice hockey machine is the slain gob, suffocated by a string of redeemable tickets around his throat. He is still clutching a piece of pepperoni pie in his little hand.

gob was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

Day 2 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-01 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.0

It was too bad about Dunnstral, but some sacrifices are necessary. Corruption must be rooted out at all costs. He'd understood, even as the hammers came down on him. There was love in those hammers, between the slain and the slaying. A shared love of pizza that united them both, that forgave all.

But gob, poor gob, struck down in precocious youth by unclean hands! Foul heathens! This is the last straw.

Every cause needs martyrs. The pizza kids have found theirs. They will catch and execute these barbarians come hell or high water. They grab their swords, and debate erupts anew.

For gob! For Dunnstral! Down with corruption! Down with lasagna! Kill them all!

Player	Votes
Not Voting (7)	implosion, Klick, DeasVail, fireisredsir, T3, DragonEater70, Appearance

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-01 12:30:00).

[Prism]

I've been informed Appearance will have limited access the next week, particularly from the 26th to the 29th. Since we've already had 3 replacements, I've chosen to allow that extended V/LA.

24 hours will be added to the deadline to compensate.

The new Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-02 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.1

Player	Votes
Klick (1)	DragonEater70 (1114)
DragonEater70 (1)	Klick (1133)
implosion (1)	T3 (1135)
Not Voting (4)	implosion, DeasVail, fireisredsir, Appearance

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-02 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.2

Player	Votes
fireisredsir (2)	DeasVail (1201), DragonEater70 (1243)
implosion (1)	T3 (1135)
Not Voting (5)	implosion, DeasVail, fireisredsir, Appearance, Klick (1205)

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-02 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.3

Player	Votes
fireisredsir (2)	DeasVail (1201), Klick (1253)
DragonEater70 (1)	T3 (1295)
Not Voting (4)	implosion, fireisredsir, Appearance, DragonEater70 (1262)

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-02 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Klick has been prodded. He has 24 hours to post before I begin searching for a replacement.

Normally, a third prod results in a force-replacement under my ruleset. I'm trying to avoid more disruption, so I'm giving Klick one more chance.

[Prism]

For the entire playerlist: I'm trying to be flexible. Virtually everyone has struggled to keep the 36 hour prod deadline. I've intentionally waited several more hours on multiple occasions, but despite that extra cushion I've still sent out too many prods.

I'm shifting the prod timer to 48 hours. This is the final line. Please be fair to the other players and post at least once every other day.

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.4

Player	Votes
fireisredsir (2)	DeasVail (1201), Klick (1253)
DragonEater70 (1)	T3 (1295)
Not Voting (4)	implosion, fireisredsir, Appearance, DragonEater70 (1262)

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 2 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-02 12:30:00).

[Prism]

Think that's a hammer, I'm out at the movies right now so don't hold your breath.

Time will be added to accomodate if I miscounted.

[Prism]

Yeah I'm too tired right now sorry, this'll get sorted out in the morning.

[Prism]

Vote Count 2.5

Player	Votes
fireisredsir (4)	DeasVail (1201), Appearance (1438), Klick (1500), T3 (1501)
Not Voting (3)	implosion, fireisredsir, DragonEater70 (1471)

With 7 players alive, it takes 4 votes to eliminate.

An elimination has been achieved! Day 2 is over. Please stand by for resolution.

[Prism]

Day 2 End

After a long week of interrogation, intimidation, and suspicion, the pizza kids are on lunch break. They gather by the tables, passing slices all around.

"What's the first thing you'll do when you catch a lasagna lover?"

"I dunno....I guess I'll cut out the eyeballs and use them as toppings. Or I'll ask my mom if I deserve more allowance."

"I know exactly what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna take that human filth right to Charles and make them apologize! THEN I'm gonna cut out their tongue so they can't scream. Then I'm gonna light one of my dad's cigarettes and push it straight into their eyeballs!"

Haha, what an idea! At another table is a disturbance. What could it be?

"What do you mean you're full, fireisredsir? You've only had six slices!"

"Fellas, I'm stuffed! I can't eat another bite!"

"REAL PIZZA KIDS ARE NEVER FULL! NEVER TIRED! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

"All I'm saying is I'll have some more later!"

But the questions and inquisitive barbs keep coming. They are relentless.

"YOU DON'T LIKE PIZZA! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE STUPID!"

"SAY IT. SAY YOU LIKE LASAGNA BEFORE WE CUT YOU UP AND FEED YOU THROUGH THE TICKET COUNTERS!"

"LIAR! LYING HEATHEN! TO THINK I LOANED YOU ONE OF MY HOLY CHARLES TOKENS! I'LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!"

"It's not me, I swear!"

"LIAR! SWINDLER! DEMONIC PREVARICATOR!"

"STOP IT EVERYONE! You're taking this way too seriously! So what if I love lasagna? I like pizza too, really! You should give both a try! I don't care about this stupid pizza thing! All of you are my bestest friends in the whole wide world!"

A confession! The atmosphere in the room turns briefly silent and solemn. There, in the flesh, is a real lasagna lover. Their existence is proven, the fear of a myth expelled.

The silence ends, and chaos erupts. They are upon him from every side.

"FOR GOB! FOR DUNNSTRAL! FOR CHARLEEEEEEEEES!"

They offer the cracked skull up to Charles, who warmly nods in gratitude. He swallows the skull up in one gulp, then turns to look at each pizza kid in turn.

He holds up a foamy finger: One more. The job is not yet done.

At first, they decide to use what remains of fireisredsir's body as pizza toppings, but in the end they throw it out. They don't want to touch his fiendish corruption.

fireisredsir was a

Dirty Lasagna Lover

.

Night 2 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-04 13:30:00).

[Prism]

Day 3 Start

Oh heavens, not again. Not again not again not again!

It's always the same. Why is mankind so violent? What malevolence has that devilish mouse, that evil rat, worked into their minds?

fireisredsir is dead, and one child is all alone, surrounded by enemies and bloodshed. They want their crayons, they want their parents, they want their lasagna.

But they are nowhere to be found. What has Charles done with them? Oh god, oh god.

They spend the night hiding away in a nook of the small playground. If anyone asks, they're searching for the last lasagna lover.

But oh god, the horror! fireisredsir was such a nice child, and their best friend. They did not deserve that fate, they didn't! Where did they even get the pliers?

As they sob in the corner, they hear steps on the ladder. Oh god, oh no. They clutch tight to their little plastic toy saber.

A head pokes up into the top.

"Hey, what's up? You see any lasagna lovers up here?"

"H-ha ha, n-not so far, DragonEater70. I was just about to go down the slide!"

"Oh, oh, me first! I bet there's more pizza at the bottom!"

"Yeah, climb on up here!"

...

That morning, when the pizza kids found DragonEater70 with a saber shoved down his throat, they knew what to do. They are used to this solemn ceremony by now.

DragonEater70 was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

Day 3 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-14 18:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 3.0

The pizza kids have laid DragonEater70's body in repose up on the air hockey table. As each passes by to pay their respects, they cover him with a slice of his favorite pizza, the Five Meat. Each pizza kid speaks in turn, mourning the fallen. Each renews their vows to love pizza and only pizza. They kneel before Charles, swear themselves to him and confirm their allegiance. To one pizza kid, he gives a knowing wink.

They sing the holy hymns as they put him in his final resting place, stuffing the body into another arcade cabinet. May he watch over and safely shepherd future Frogger players for all eternity.

With that, the tribute is finished. The pizza kids prepare for holy war. They streak lines of tomato sauce under each eye and tie redeemable ticket headbands around their scalps. With a single hand, Charles casts out a rain of tokens, and the hunt is on.

The pizza topping of the day is SWEET BLOODY VENGEANCE!

Player	Votes
Not Voting (5)	implosion, Klick, DeasVail, T3, Appearance

With 5 players alive, it takes 3 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 3 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-14 18:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 3.1

Player	Votes
T3 (2)	Klick (1517), Appearance (1519)
Not Voting (3)	implosion, DeasVail, T3

With 5 players alive, it takes 3 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 3 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-14 18:30:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 3.2

Player	Votes
T3 (3)	Klick (1517), Appearance (1519), DeasVail (1527)
Not Voting (2)	implosion, T3

With 5 players alive, it takes 3 votes to eliminate.

An elimination has been achieved! Day 3 is over. Please stand by for resolution.

[Prism]

Day 3 End

Cheap erasers, soiled napkins, shredded ticket stubs, and broken utensils are scattered over the floor of the play area.

Blood stains coat the carpet. In some sections, It is so thick that stepping on the floor causes it to seep out and onto the children's velcro sneakers.

The children are war-torn and exhausted. Rooting out heretical demons is a hard, tireless affair. As their minds frazzle under the stress, their suspicions of each other heighten.

The healthy debates over toppings that use to liven up the pizza breaks are over. Each is prodding the other, seeking to take advantage of the fatigue to penetrate the veil of the non-believer.

Eventually, one of these verbal swords hits its mark.

"Of course I hate those dirty pizza lovers," says T3. "Rotten to the core, there's no redemption for people like that, you can't even call them people anymore."

Every tired eye fires up in an instant.

"Dirty PIZZA lovers?" "What did he say?" "Pizza lovers are rotten! I heard it!" "I knew it! I bet that 3 stands for 3-layered lasagna!"

"No no no, it was a mistake! I mean to say lasagna! It was just a slip of the tongue! I'm tired!"

"Yeah right!" "No way!" "HOLD THY WRETCHED TONGUE, FOUL CHILD OF HELL, AND RETURN TO WHENCE YOU CAME!"

Three of the children pin down T3. The fourth fetches the nacho cheese from the kitchen, and begins to steadily pour. T3 coughs it up.

"I said it's not me! Stop it! Stop it! STOOOOOOOP!"

As the scorching hot cheese cools and congeals in his throat, T3's limbs flail in every direction. He is desperate to break free.

The face of Charles, superimposed on the ceiling, watches it all with a smile. That smile is their raison d'être.

The child continues to pour, and eventually the screaming and squirming ceases.

But when all is done, and T3 is drowned, Charles's warm mousey grin turns into a slight frown.

The lasagna lover remains at large.

Tomato sauce drips from the ceiling tile by Charles's mouth. As it falls, it forms a message on the ground beside T3.

The Divine Mouse speaks! Listen well, children of the pizza!

"THE PATH IS OPEN, PAVED WITH T3'S BLOOD. FEAR NOT FOR HE HAS GONE AHEAD.

THERE IS NO ESCAPE. KILL, KILL, KILL, YOUR WAY TO HEAVEN."

T3 was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

Night 3 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-09 15:00:00).

If every player who will be alive on Day 4 requests it, I will allow for a "fast night" resolution. Please send your preference via PM.

[Prism]

Day 4 Start

Four children remain. No parents are in sight. One rat rules them all, dishes out the deep dish at his pleasure, tosses out the tokens on a favorable whim.

The last lasagna lover has nowhere left to hide. They know Charles sees all. He always has, right from the beginning. How long ago was it? They have forgotten.

But the lasagna lover is desperate. This time, they will escape this hellscape once and for all. They are closer than ever. One more night, one more day.

The children have tried everything: splitting up in groups of 4, splitting off in pairs, periodically reconvening in front of the Frogger machine containing the saintly remains of the fallen DragonEater70.

But Klick has a new idea: a mandatory public display of loyalty, a ritual that no heretic would willingly undertake. The children eagerly agree, three of them in fact excited at the prospect. One does their best to fake it.

They gather in front of the preheated pizza oven, and Klick holds up the holy currency: A real, authentic Chuck E. Cheese token, stamped with the face of the divine rat.

They place it in the oven with tongs, waiting for it to turn red-hot. Each child steps forward in turn, and receives the mark of the Real Pizza Kid.

"What do you like?" Klick holds up the coin in the tongs.

"I LIKE PIZZA PEPPERONI MOZZARELLA AND ANCHOVY!"

The coin is pressed onto the skin. The child smiles.

"When do you like it?"

"IN THE MORNING, EVERYDAY, IN THE EVENING!"

The coin is removed, and the ritual is done.

It is ineffective at rooting out the non-believer, but effective at raising morale. The hunt resumes, and the children split up.

...

Klick is nowhere to be found at the scheduled meeting time. Eventually, the children take the ladder and climb into the ceiling. There they find him, bludgeoned by the bloody Chuck E. Cheese-branded lunch box stashed nearby. Whoever wanted him dead was a big spender: they'd shelled out 800 tickets.

Three children remain. They convene one last time for a civil discussion over pizza, here in the lobby of the only place in the world where a kid can be a kid.

Klick was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

Day 4 has begun. The deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-18 12:00:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 4.0

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final event!

Three children sit at a table. It slowly lifts from the floor. The surrounding space turns pitch black, then slowly fills with infinite and ghastly heads of Chuck E. Cheese, eyes glowing red and teeth chomping away, desperate for blood.

They are in the middle of the holy sphere. The table slowly spins and rotates on an irregular axis, but the children stay moored to the seats. Blood drips up and down the ratty smiles on every side. Occasionally, one of the infinite heads spits forth the corpses of Dunnstral, fireisredsir, gob, and so on. Sometimes, multiple copies of the same are floating around in this isolated realm, each torn up and discombobulated in uncountable ways, before disappearing back.

None of the children are unnerved. Two feel themselves the chosen, the last line of defense for this divine temple. It is unforgivable that the heretics have made it this far, and there is only one way to atone.

One has seen it all before, knows how this will end. Escape is impossible...but maybe, just maybe...

One by one, the children begin to speak.

Player	Votes
Not Voting (3)	implosion, DeasVail, Appearance

With 3 players alive, it takes 2 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 4 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-18 12:00:00).

[Prism]

Vote Count 4.1

Player	Votes
implosion (1)	DeasVail (1549)
DeasVail (1)	implosion (1562)
Not Voting (1)	Appearance

With 3 players alive, it takes 2 votes to eliminate.

No elimination has been achieved. The Day 4 deadline is in (expired on 2024-02-18 12:00:00).

[Prism]

THE DIE IS CAST

I'M GONNA EAT AND TAKE CARE OF MISCELLANEA FIRST SO ENJOY THE SUSPENSE NERDS

[Prism]

Working on the endgame now, but in the meantime VC 4.0 now has flavor!

[Prism]

Vote Count 4.2

We've got the make this the most perfect day!
It'd be a shame if we let this one get away!

Player	Votes
DeasVail (2)	implosion (1562), Appearance (1580)
implosion (1)	DeasVail (1549)
Not Voting (0)

With 3 players alive, it takes 2 votes to eliminate.

An elimination has been achieved! Day 4 is over. Please stand by for resolution.

[Prism]

Day 4 End

The discussions are the same as ever. What's the best kind of cheese on pizza? Trick question, any kind of cheese. What's Charles's favorite slice of pie? The Supreme.

The last lasagna lover knows what is coming, but is numb. He sees it already, the torture, the final feast to Charles. He feels void already, the whirling blades, the grating teeth, the molten cheese of fire filling every blood vessel in his body at once, the ghostly flashes of what remained of his parents, of fireisredsir, firing across every neuron of his small child brain.

The discussions drag on, but he knows they are pointless. He knows his adversaries too well, understands them better than they know themselves, an infinite lifetime of bitter and painful trial and error will not fail him here.

It matters not. Even when they inevitably kill DeasVail, Charles awaits.

Charles awaits! He always awaits!

Carefully, the lasagna lover watches for fireisredsir's most recent corpse, the one with the missing head and its arms twisted into a broken pretzel. As it passed by the table, he quickly nabs the object from his pocket. How long have he and fireisredsir been working on this? If nothing else, he must preserve it for the next time.

The lower panel is gob's scapula carved flat. The spring is stolen from an arcade machine. The levers are made from fireisredsir's own fingerbones. As discussion continues, he takes scrapes off a small amount of cheese from a pizza slice and carefully rolls it into a ball.

...

Soon the decision is made. He and Appearance grab DeasVail, one on each arm, and throw him, screaming and begging for his life, into the infinite maws of Charles. The faces of Charles converge and church bells strike a solemn tone from every side, for the hour is at hand. The lobby is back, but there is so much blood that it reaches the children's knees. Lightning and thunder crash overhead.

Appearance turns to implosion. "So did we finally get him?" asks Appearance. "You never do." says implosion with great sadness. He briefly closes his eyes to shield him from what is to come. Charles leaps from the bloody depths, and with a giant hand, shoves Appearance into a pizza slice and chomps him to dust. The last implosion hears of him is "ANYTHING FOR YOU CHARLES!" The great rat does a spinning flourish in the air before splashing down to the sanguine ocean. implosion feels the oceanic levels rise. The air fills with the laughter of the great mouse.

He desperately swims towards the floating table, grasping onto the edges. Very carefully, he puts the device they have sacrificed so much for onto the table. This is all that he has. He closes his eyes and prepares to embrace his eternally recurring fate.

implosion hears a snap, and quickly looks. Caught in the mouse trap, flailing wildly and desperate for the cheese, is an ordinary, gentle-looking rat. The laughter stops, the thunder and lightning cease, and the bloody ocean drains. With one hand, implosion holds up the rodent tyrant that has tormented himself and fireisredsir for time unknowable: centuries, millennia, millions of years, made toys and playthings out of their friends and family.

implosion breathes a sigh of relief like no other. He ponders what to do with his vanquished target. Worried that this is false hope and another trick, he still decides his only choice is to play along. He decides to give him a taste of his own medicine. He bites the head off of the rat in one clean chomp and flicks the rest away.

The world frays and turns to static. implosion is walking into the Chuck E. Cheese, but is begging his mother to take him home as he feels sick. As usual, it is futile.

implosion enters the play area and passes by DragonEater70, T3, and Appearance. As always, they know nothing. He quickly locks eyes with his old friend fireisredsir. He gives an uncertain shrug. Only time will tell. fireisredsir nods in fear.

...

"Anyway, as I was saying, lasagna is NEVER going to be better than pizza, but you'll still be my friend forever!" says DeasVail to implosion. "Wanna play some skeeball? If I win, pizza is number one!" says gob to fireisredsir. What a wonderful party!

As the party winds down, the children begin to return home. The parents have to work so hard to separate implosion and fireisredsir, who seem closer than ever. Tears of happiness stream down their faces.

"Mom, can I have some lasagna when we get home?" asks fireisredsir. "Of course, honey."

As they step into their separate cars, they are overjoyed to wake from this cosmic horror. But both have the same question on their minds.

...Is it really over?

DeasVail was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

A win condition has been achieved!

The Dirty Lasagna Lovers, consisting of implosion and fireisredsir, are the victors of Open 899!

implosion survives and wins! He was a

Dirty Lasagna Lover

.

Appearance was endgamed! He was a

Real Pizza Kid

.

[Prism]

All topic links can be found here.

Main Thread
Mod PT
Dirty Lasagna Lovers (Mafia) PT
The Chuck E. Cheese Parking Lot (Dead/Spec) PT

The game is over, and you may now post.

[Prism]

Thanks for playing everyone! I hope you had fun, and what a tense ending. I'm impressed scum managed to claw it all the way back!

I'm especially grateful to the replacements: gob, Dunnstral, and fireisredsir. The players may have hated replacements so much that you were the first three to go, but I love you!

Congratulations as well to gob and DragonEater70, who may not have won the game but both won avatar bets! On Day 2, gob guessed that there would be 2 mafia in a pool of implosion, fireisredsir, and DragonEater70, earning him a week's selection of my avatar. On Day 3, DragonEater70 guessed that the last mafia was implosion, winning three days' selection of my avatar. Whoever turns in their winning tickets first gets first dibs on the prize!

This flavor took a, uh, much different turn than I expected. Originally, I wasn't going to flavor the game at all, and I wanted something really low-effort. I decided to go for what I considered a 2-second joke JUST to troll implosion, with literally no other purpose. I have a 13 year history of using that Pizza Kids video as a sort of link-swapping Rick Roll, and I only do it for implosion. I figured this was a good chance to catch him off-guard, and I had no idea for what the game would become.

Spoiler: Transcript of me choosing the flavor

Prism — 12/31/2023 1:23 PM
i thought of the worst thing here i could possibly do
i have a 13 year history of linking implosion this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXerF6crDRs
i theme the game around this video
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:23 PM
heh!
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:23 PM
JUST to fuck with implosion, no other reason
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:23 PM
Is implosion around enough to be trolled?
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:23 PM
he's in the game
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:24 PM
AHHHH!
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:25 PM
True Pizza Kids v. ?_?
i am so close to doing this
it's a problem
Real Pizza Kids v. Disgusting Spaghetti Fans
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:27 PM
pineapple topping vs pineapple anathema
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:28 PM
i thought about that one but i'm team pineapple so
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:28 PM
so make them town!
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:28 PM
and a true pizza kid would never gatekeep
fferyllt — 12/31/2023 1:28 PM
ah
Prism — 12/31/2023 1:28 PM
Real Pizza Kids v. Pizza Elitists
but god this is SUCH A PROBLEM this is literally just for a quick 2 second bit to mess with implosion

Needless to say this turned into way more than a 2 second bit. I really don't know when I decided to take this the Lord of the Flies cosmic horror route, but at some point I was committed and people seemed to enjoy it.

[Prism]

Oh, and for those that want more flavor, every phase start and activity prod contained extra flavor. They're all collected here in the mod PT.

[Prism]

And yeah, the flavor...yeah.......

What? You mean to tell me that you never imagined in 2011 that in 2024 you'd be playing in a Pizza Kids theme game where you're fighting for your life against a

Groundhog Day

all-powerful eldritch horror Chuck E. Cheese and his cult of small children?

[Prism]

Life can be so predictable sometimes, honestly.

[Prism]

I will always have special little plans for you, my lasagna-loving friend.

[Prism]

I commented to fferyllt about how interesting it was seeing fireisredsir usually having the right strategic vision, but lacking the fundamentals needed to actually execute on it. It's an example where I think fire would have really benefited from the real-time chat crucible formats, where those skills are built way before you move onto the more complex things.

I was most impressed this game, though, when fire

instantly knew

which posts weren't correct before anyone else pointed them out. Overall, this wasn't fire's strongest game, but the choice to stay passive and let the elim go through without trying to set any deeper traps turned out okay.

[Prism]

Looks like I'm flying the anime anarchist banner for the next week!

[Prism]

988 was a pretty bad post i think

This was a post I immediately pointed out to fferyllt as being wrong. Page 41 was also rough and a missed opportunity.

If I recall correctly fire actually did try to set one deeper trap with his later elim trying to frame Appearance but again did not have the ability to get the tone right to carry it out.

[Prism]

Hey I get to choose Prism's avatar

gob's time expires tonight. What's the next three days of my sentence?

[Prism]

Having shed my former anime anarchist loyalties, I set out in search of a new purpose and sense of belonging. And so I joined the Dragon cult...