Polyamory

[VP Baltar]

How many relationships have you tried to maintain at one time? How do you find the time do such?

[VP Baltar]

Cliquey, it would seem to me from your statement that, like me, your number one thing isn't really cheating, but rather "honestly," in this situation, and as has been pointed out by drunkychaz, there is no deception whatsoever, so I don't know that it can be labeled as cheating. I think YThill has been overall very honest: The top issues I see with his arrangement are the unspoken jealously that all humans feel when they see something that is in their mind as "theirs" being "used" or "possessed" (quotation marks because those terms are probably a little off) by someone else, and also the social stigmas that go along with such practices. I don't know that I would be able to make such an arrangement work, seeing as I can sometimes be a fairly jealous person, but if YT can get past that, then jolly good for him.

ITP, TSQ has a polyamorous orgy with commas.

[VP Baltar]

I think all relationships, whether mono or poly, are bound to have issues sooner or later. It's called life.

As far as people focusing on the sex aspect of poly relationships, I don't think that is entirely strange since that is the largest distinction between romantic and platonic relationships. Sure, people in mono relationships can get jealous over their partner spending excessive amounts of time with another person (of either sex) but I think on a whole that isn't an issue in a healthy, trusting mono relationship UNLESS a physical line is crossed.

If I am in a long term mono relationship with person X, but also have a very deep platonic relationship with person Y, what grounds does person X have to be upset with that? I would say none really unless a physical relationship begins with person Y. Then I would have hypothetically crossed out of my mono relationship with person X.

Now, perhaps the argument can be made that a secondary deep platonic friendship would be a problem in a mono relationship because it takes time away from that relationship, but I would counter that that is an issue of trust and dependency within the mono relationship itself that could have been dealt with as the relationship was being built in the first place. In other words, I don't think it is a natural defect in mono relationships that poly relationships somehow avoid so much as it is an issue of being open with your partner what your expectations and needs are from the start. The distinction really comes from the physical side of things.

[VP Baltar]

I don't think it is. There's plenty of non-sexual (or pseudo-sexual) behavior that most people refrain from if they're mono.

Sorry, I should have been more specific. I am encompassing the "pseudo-sexual" behaviors under the umbrella term "sex" in that quote. I'm not sure where you are putting the line at.

[VP Baltar]

is

[VP Baltar]

Bah. I was hoping for Fred Savage.



Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[VP Baltar]

Fate - you do a lot of justifying to yourself about your choices. I agree with Xine that it's not really useful to say someone is good or bad (as some people are trying to judge you here), but you should be truthful with yourself if you think your actions are really justifiable or if you're convincing yourself that they are.

[VP Baltar]

@Fate-Ok, then let me ask you this, do you feel that you that you're obligated to be 'receptive to her approach' when it comes to women that you find yourself attracted to? Have there been women you've been attracted to that you've turned down for whatever reason in the past?