Planet MafiaScum - ALL HAIL DARK LORD INSPIRATIELOOS

[JDGA]

Forum name:

JDGA

Country name:

Draconia

Region:

Korikai

Politics:

Right-wing, but not in a cruel way

Other info:

20 million dragons?

No.

[JDGA]

I feel like I will be able to trust my fellow continentians JDGA and Meran

No hard feelings Hoppster:)

I'm happy with working together in our region to make it a better place.
Meransiel, you had better be peaceful as well, though >_>

[JDGA]

facist

Any facists here will be exempt from my "be nice to everyone" policy. Seriously, discriminating by whether or not someone has a black eye (or similar blemish) on their face? HOW COULD THEY? D: D: D:
*stabbed*

[JDGA]

Fascism is not like that, at its core. And it can be done right (Franco, anyone?)

Note that I was discussing facism, not fascism. There is a distinct difference.
^_^

[JDGA]

Spend 2B on developing a way to mine the Natural Gas

Once I get an income running, I can spend the income to make the income not pollute things.
Oh, and population policy?

Aim for a slow increase, capping population at 25mil

The only immediate benefit to a greater population that I can think of is more taxes, but overpopulation will just ruin everything.

[JDGA]

Oh, and a question:

How much interaction can the various regions have with each other?

[JDGA]

General upkeep of and improvements to? Does that actually do anything, and would it be a good idea to actually do?

[JDGA]

...uh, ok.

Spend 1B on general upkeep of and improvements to

my luck stat

the nation

I'd use the pounds sign, but my keyboard doesn't have it.

[JDGA]

Also, it would be appreciated if I could know what general upkeep will cost, so that I may delegate funds more accurately.

[JDGA]

Accept alliances with Fallen Angels and Dinotopia
Request to be invited into the UN (right-wing =/= fascist) and spend 1B towards its creation

[JDGA]

Once the technology to mine the natural gas is complete, spend 2B on creating installations to actually mine the stuff.

[JDGA]

lrn2count?

[JDGA]

...
Repeat after me.
FASCISM, NOT FACISM.
FASCISM, NOT FACISM.
FASCISM, NOT FACISM.
I'm summoning an army of twenty million dragons to declare war on the next person to call it facism.

Disclaimer: I'm joking, izak >_>

[JDGA]

Do not edit your posts.

kthxbai

[JDGA]

Press Statement from Draconia regarding the recent acts of terrorism:
Attacking the environment itself?
...
There are no words to describe this.

In other words, may I have an invitation to the United Nations? I never received one...

[JDGA]

Ethernia considers these conditions grossly inacceptable. As such, if either of its Korikai neighbors is attacked, it will do nothing to stop the onslaught.

As a result, I am reducing the automatic weekly payment for the army from 5 billion to 1 billion dollars.

Uh... I never asked anything else? Thanks for not defending me despite my having done nothing against you... <_<

@Drench you will be notified as your projects are completed, and possibly at certain points along the way if necessary.

A note: I've had 62 PMs in the last two days, just from you lot. That's great and all - it means the games going ahead well - but please try to condense what you have to say into one or two at a time, rather than seven. JDGA knows who he is.

FTFY >_>

[JDGA]

lol.
Well, no one said running a country was ever easy? XD

[JDGA]

So then there were 18.
yay~
lol @ people obsessing over Cybele as if she were LLD or something
And now it's back to watching, loling, and waiting for 10B to arrive.

Research Internet to use Google to look up the Alt-code for the pound symbol

[JDGA]

Ah, got it.
...and then forgot it. *looks up again*
Ah, got it.
£
And now it's back to watchin, loling, and waiting for £10B to arrive.

[JDGA]

Hmm... a public statement from Draconia regarding the latest world power:
We greet you peacefully. Your request to construct a peace-supporting monument in our capital city initially seemed suspicious, but I tend to be initially suspicious of all acts of generosity. However, you certainly seem to be sincere, so I, for one, accept your proposal. May your days be filled with joy and goodwill, however many you have.

[JDGA]

Donate £1.5B towards construction of Upper Darsica's peace structure in Draconia

I will spend the rest when I think of something to spend it on.

[JDGA]

Public Statement re: Population Cap

Draconia will encourage the use of birth control and discouraging having more than two children. The first child is subject to a monetary bonus, the second child a lesser one. (These bonuses are applied over time until the child is 21) The third child is granted no bonus, and having more than three children is a punishable offence subject to a fine of ~£2000.

Public Statement re: Age Limits

Minimum voting age is 16. However, a test showing knowledge of the workings behind politics must be passed by each individual before they obtain the right to vote. Voting is compulsory for all those that have passed the test. I am the President of Draconia, the highest elected position is that of the Prime Minister. Anyone who has passed the voting-rights test can stand for a political position.
Minimum age to drive is 18. However, they will be required to be accompanied at all times until the age of 21 or two years, whichever is greater. They will then be subject to more strict rules for a further three years or until the age of 25, whichever is greater.
Cigarettes are BANNED, and possession/consumption of is a punishable offence subject to a ~£2000 fine. Other forms of tobacco (those without nicotine, etc) and alcohol can be consumed from the age of 21. However, drunkenness is a punishable offence subject to a ~£500 fine.

Public Statement re: Tax Rates

The income tax rate is scaled linearly. A hypothetical family with a combined income of £0 will be taxed at 0%, £500 000 will be taxed at 15%, and £1000 000 will be taxed at 30%. All trade is taxed at a flat 10%. 10% of all tax is granted to healthcare, and a further 15% to education. The minimum wage is £24 per hour. (Note: I have a very limited knowledge of RL tax rates and minimum wage, so someone please tell me if this is unrealistic)

[JDGA]

My country is my country, I manage it as I see fit.

[JDGA]

Donate £1B towards supporting the Great University

And whilst we're on the topic of education...

Spend £3B on improving schools, universities, general education, etc. throughout Draconia

[JDGA]

Spend 3B on general upkeep and improvements
Spend 5B on researching technologies to make Draconia more environmentally friendly

[JDGA]

Public Statement from Draconia re: Allegations of dangerous secrets

First and foremost, I do

not

have any nuclear research going on. If you've ever heard of a nuclear winter and a nuclear summer, you'd know why not.
However, chesskid is right. I have been creating a small but highly-trained army solely for defense purposes, not unlike Switzerland in some crazy far-away planet called Earth that I just made up. This was kept secret so as not to anger Ethernia, although I never meant any harm against them.
Apologies for betraying your trust, and I hope that we may maintain favourable relations despite this.

[JDGA]

But of course.

[JDGA]

As a part of my main goal of maintaining harmony with nature, I want to get away from things like coal and oil as soon as possible.
So... I think that probably the best way to go about this task is to first shift to nuclear power, as that shouldn't be too difficult to achieve, and then start putting everything into developing renewable energies such as solar and wind from scratch.
Any objections to this? If not...

Spend £3B on researching how to generate electricity through nuclear reactions, but ensuring that NONE of this research is used for ANY military purpose whatsoever.

[JDGA]

That will be fine with me just so long as you have the same condition of NO military usage.
Also, at what point was I orange?

[JDGA]

I'm fine with T-Bone having the nuclear energy research as well, subject to same condition, etc.
That'll put the total spending for it up to £6-7B, I believe, and hopefully that'll be enough.

[JDGA]

D'Arvit.
Well... anyone got Uranium that they'd be willing to sell for the cause of nuclear energy?

[JDGA]

inspiratieloos, I'm happy with that offer~

[JDGA]

Overall, we're about to overspend on the nuclear research. I think we've got what, almost £10B sunk into it now? If you're going to contribute, see if you can get lucky and have some Uranium deposits. You still get the tech shared with you (under the same conditions, of course) but... I don't know. We'll see, I suppose.

[JDGA]

izak, as an astronomer I'm going to have to correct you there. The rotation of a body is what usually causes it to form into a spherical shape in the first place, although the rotation then flattens it slightly. As the Sun is gaseous, the rotation speed varies slightly by latitude, but the period varies from about 25-30 days (with longer rotation periods nearer the poles), as Wikipedia also would have told you if you'd checked there.

[JDGA]

loloverspending

And izak, you are right in that the Sun's rotation doesn't have any real effect on the Earth's rotation (and therefore the length of our day).

[JDGA]

Infantry is the Queen of Battle.

Artillery is the King of Battle.

And we all know what Kings do to Queens.

What, get pretty easily checkmated by them?

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on Upkeep and Improvements

I shall ponder the rest.

[JDGA]

The default is that we get oil, but Drench changed that for Mist. Simple.

[JDGA]

Public Statement from Draconia

With the fall of Ethernia, what will happen to the land and citizens that live there, and what will happen to the other nations living in the region (my own in particular)?

[JDGA]

Holograms are most certainly not impossible. Now shut up and die ^_^

[JDGA]

I can't exactly

not

lose right now, pay attention to the thread.

FTFY

[JDGA]

Sorry kiwieagle, same mistake I made with CSL. You have £7.5B. Do you want to spend it on 75,000 troops?

The shortest war in history

In

Ethernia

, the war continues in the same direction. After

Flying Kiwi

pulled out, no major threat to

Ethernia

remained.

Arnorian

troops have begun to blow up government buildings and factories, seemingly just to cause as much damage as possible, but they are losing, fast, with under 1,000 troops left in the war.

Ethernia

is regaining it's hold on the capital, while

Chesstopia

continues to hunt down and kill the

Arnorian

troops.

For Flying Kiwi, 300 died. The rest have left the country.
For Arnor, 2,100 died. A few also joined Ethernia. Arnor now has less than 1,000 troops in Ethernia.

For Ethernia, 800 died.
For Chesstopia, 1,200 died.

A=0.7

---

In

Fallen Angels

, the escaped criminals are running riot. None of them have yet been recaptured, and multiple murders and armed robberies have occurred across the nation. In one particular attack, two coach loads of Draconian tourists were bombed.

For Fallen Angels, 94 died.
For Draconia, 60 died.

---

Update on the Constallations war coming in a few hours.

I don't even know how large an army I have, so...

Send 20 000 troops to help secure Fallen Angels from the criminals/terrorists, but recall them if animorpherv1 requests them to be

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on general upkeep and improvements

I shall ponder upon the rest.

[JDGA]

Revisit the mining I did back in Week 1, spending £4B to get it running.

That's something I've been meaning to do for a while now XD

[JDGA]

wolfkid, why the marital law?

[JDGA]

Well... now that that crisis seems to be over for whatever reason...

Recall troops

[JDGA]

From Fallen Angels. I'd sent some to help him regain control over the criminals.

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on general upkeep and improvements
Spend £8B on research towards some form of space travel to visit our natural satellites

Like with the nuclear energy research, this is free for anyone and everyone to contribute and share the benefits of. Just ask anyone at NASA; it is utterly

impossible

to overspend on this.

[JDGA]

I was the one who instigated it, so I'm pretty sure I contributed XD

[JDGA]

Your Bulbasaur statue does what

[JDGA]

@mod: How much would Super Goomba Bros cost?

[JDGA]

Here we go buddy, here we go buddy...
Incidentally, 100-page topic. Not every day that happens in MishMash.

[JDGA]

Spend £4B on space program
Spend £1B on general upkeep/improvements

Incidentally, did anyone else know that Alt-013 is a carriage return?

[JDGA]

Stupid question: What do you guys plan to accomplish by developing space travel?

Rule of Cool. In addition, the technology required to be able to travel will have the potential to positively affect other areas of science. In addition, it may come in handy at some point.

[JDGA]

SK: MASA is supported by funding. It and nuclear energy are basically projects for everyone, as in "helping to fund it gets you the full benefits."

[JDGA]

Send military to Mistopia with intent to defeat Mist7676

A tyrant, aggressing. Neutrality, shattered. A war, beginning.

[JDGA]

i want World MafiaWar 1 to happen.
Socialist Alliance vs UN
Then the Surivana Convention is made so we discuss about war since it was too bloody and how to treat PoW nicer and no torture.
Chesskid doesnt care and creates World MafiaWar 2, but since his city has no jews he massacre muslims in Concentration Camps.
animopherv city is completely obliterated by Chesskids attacks.
Chesskid tries to attack JDGA but its way too fkin cold and retreats and many die.
Chesskid is destroyed after the UN is able to claim his city by attacking en masse
Since animopherv has no city they grant him a space in middle of surivana.
Surrounding cities get pissed that they all had to give a portion.

As World MafiaWar 2 finishes Mist invents the nuke.

Mist then is treated like a God.
The UN is abadoned and Mistbepowerful is made.
Tragedy dislikes and tries to make a rebelion with the help of mallow, shark,cybele and me

World MafiaWar 3 starts.

Izakthegoomba takes no part during all these conflicts but during that time he researched a Death Star and doesnt care he even stated in his 1st post its not possible
As the vicious fight between Mistispowerful vs Rebels occurs, mist decides to mass spam nukes throughout the world.
Though spies are able to find out in time and try to stop Mist
But izak goes "i pwn" and destroys the world with the Death Star

I just predicted the whole game.

We're sorta running out of events left to happen, considering that apparently the war on Mist is the endgame.
I don't like the way this is going...

[JDGA]

I request you all inform your soldiers not to attack civilians, seeing as they're on our side.

Wait, I don't do that by default?

[JDGA]

I specified that it was to get Mist and Mist only. I think.
Oh well, it hardly matters now~
Incidentally, reread page 112 to lol at the reactions

[JDGA]

So they're duds.
Cool.

Sure they aren't just designed to make us think that,

then

blow? v_v

[JDGA]

Pull out of Mistotopia

A battle, ended. Neutrality, restored.

[JDGA]

D:

[JDGA]

Spend £1B on personal bodyguards
Also pull the arbitrary protagonist out of jail so that the Boring Invincible Hero can be on my side

<_<
>_>

[JDGA]

Hell itself

[JDGA]

£2B on general upkeep and inprovements

I spoil my country ^_^

[JDGA]

Well, in case there's a problem, we just do to him what we did to Mist the moment our twelve troll lords let izak let us.

[JDGA]

Fine.

Release SK's inspectors and let them "inspect;" they must be closely guarded at all times and can neither take pictures/videos nor see classified stuff.

I still don't trust you.

Start an investigation into Dark Moon.

I'll supply the boots on the ground. Anybody want to contribute with money/knowledge/people?

VOTE: theplague42
Reasoning: Death Note (His attempt to take control of the investigation against Dark Moon, coupled with his insistence on not letting weapons inspectors get anywhere, clearly indicates that he's a member of Dark Moon himself)

[JDGA]

Nuke Drench for having not posted in 17 days

(Disclaimer: I. WAS. ONLY. JOKING!)

[JDGA]

>18 hours later

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on general upkeep and improvements

[JDGA]

/6-day prod PersonalIdiot04

He's up to £56B. The attack he received in the "beginning of the end" update was only affecting a few private houses. Nothing major, or anything affecting the government.

FoS PersonalIdiot04

[JDGA]

Whilst I'm busy scumhunting,

if the train network isn't up and running again yet, spend £1B to fix it.

How did I miss this?

[JDGA]

A conversation was formed between various leaders for the purposes of debating what to do about nations with an exceptionally large army, and the possibility of a joint defense in case things went sour.
Suvonia was only avoided because the initial topic was on kiwieagle's army in particular (360 700), and his being in Suvonia meant that... something. Ask ani.
But then I decided that it'd be better to consolidate it into a QT. As CSL presumably only gave kiwi the link to the QT and my OP there didn't exactly describe much, he had no idea what was going on.
Link to QT
I'm going to assume that no one really minds me linking this, since it doesn't contain much of consequence and the sooner we clear up this international incident, the better IMO.

[JDGA]

The sending of the link had nothing to do with me :/

[JDGA]

Chesskid's son renamed chesskid.

oh god what

[JDGA]

._.' WTF DARK MOON...

And yeah, if you'll go down to 250k troops I'll back out.

How can you be so sure that was Dark Moon?

[JDGA]

Huh?
Things are going pretty fine, I think.
We're all just waiting on research to happen and/or Dark Moon doing something.

[JDGA]

Spend 9B on 90,000 troops
Spend 2B on mines

Erm?
Particularly the last one, what's up with that? >_>
And although I think you're probably clear of being Dark Moon, do you have any suspects?

[JDGA]

I think we're all just waiting for the game to restart XD

[JDGA]

The game isn't dying until it's over, silly >_>

[JDGA]

Then solve it~
Professor Layton style, if possible ^_^

[JDGA]

I'll take that as a confession~

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on upkeep/improvements

Other spending whenever I think of something to spend it on.
ani, are you sure burying the alleged nuke is a good idea?

[JDGA]

:/
So... this is bad.
I don't really think that how ani handled that was the best way possible, so in the interests of preserving lives could we perhaps share strategies for better disposal of any future potentially explosive devices?
Really, there's not really any more to say on the matter.

[JDGA]

That's a brilliant idea, CSL.

Send 3B of aid to Fallen Angels so as to help them attempt to recover

[JDGA]

Hmm I was expecting something more devious. And it was still quite deniable!

I'd really like to find out who poisoned Draconia, too.

Wait, someone poisoned

my

country?
VOTE: theplague42 for obvious foreshadowing that only he could know

[JDGA]

I'm pretty sure the nuclear energy is running, but I have no idea regarding MASA.

[JDGA]

I started the nuclear energy and MASA, so I figured they would be the ones I'd be commenting on.

[JDGA]

Draconia declines to comment on the current drama.

[JDGA]

lol

Spend £3B on general upkeep/improvements

I'm feeling particularly nice to my people today.

[JDGA]

Back for one day,

Spend 18B on upkeep
Spend 4B on improvement of mines
Spend 4B on expanding territory

Draconia,

Mistotopia

Intibo, Caledonia, Dinotopia, Tresa, if we all spend 1B for the energy project we'll have more than enough to continue, I say we do it.

Earmark 1B for the nuclear energy project if the above named countries also invest.

Pedit: Plague, is that nuclear program for yourself or do you want to join the joint project?

Spend £2B on nuclear energy project

[JDGA]

3 pounds wut

[JDGA]

I'm pretty sure izak meant that it was Chesskid I that was murdered, not the advisor.
Although LGS ambiguity still applies.

Edited it for what I hope is clarity, thanks. ~Mod#1

[JDGA]

How in the world did you find that out?
Nevertheless, it's still incredibly useful news.

[JDGA]

Ooo...
inb4 ani is Dark Moon
(although probably not)

[JDGA]

Yawn

[JDGA]

Maybe they could add a counter to the next major update to all the joint projects?

My nuke program is personal. Only the initial 2B was sent into joint research. Then I decided nobody else was pumping enough money in.

@mods
Did you get that? Just want to make sure my hordes of money on nuclear energy is based in The Calamity Isles, not part of the joint project.

You could have just asked us. I just tend to forget about things like that. Speaking of which:

Sink £5B into joint nuclear energy program and £5B into MASA

[JDGA]

Spend £2B on general upkeep/improvements

[JDGA]

Expanding your territory? What's that supposed to do?

[JDGA]

...
This is a... decidedly interesting birthday of mine.
Wasn't that sort of excessive?
Oh well.
v_v

[JDGA]

Code: Select all

>JDGA: Be immensely bored

>JDGA: Command entire army to attack Flying Kiwi

[JDGA]

*grabs popcorn*

How many troops does JDGA actually have?

No one knows, least of all me.
I've never been one for excessive military spending, though.
Speaking of which,

£5B into MASA

.

[JDGA]

But as they passes Lake Oculus, it as clear they were getting nowhere; because they ran straight into armies from

Chesstopia

and

Caledonia

. They faced two huge armies, in neutral ground.

lolwut
Were the two of you

seriously

going to attack me?
I give you two updates to retreat, and when you both do I shall do the same.

[JDGA]

i want World MafiaWar 1 to happen.
Socialist Alliance vs UN
Then the Surivana Convention is made so we discuss about war since it was too bloody and how to treat PoW nicer and no torture.
Chesskid doesnt care and creates World MafiaWar 2, but since his city has no jews he massacre muslims in Concentration Camps.
animopherv city is completely obliterated by Chesskids attacks.

Chesskid tries to attack JDGA but its way too fkin cold and retreats and many die.

Chesskid is destroyed after the UN is able to claim his city by attacking en masse
Since animopherv has no city they grant him a space in middle of surivana.
Surrounding cities get pissed that they all had to give a portion.
As World MafiaWar 2 finishes Mist invents the nuke.
Mist then is treated like a God.
The UN is abadoned and Mistbepowerful is made.
Tragedy dislikes and tries to make a rebelion with the help of mallow, shark,cybele and me
World MafiaWar 3 starts.
Izakthegoomba takes no part during all these conflicts but during that time he researched a Death Star and doesnt care he even stated in his 1st post its not possible
As the vicious fight between Mistispowerful vs Rebels occurs, mist decides to mass spam nukes throughout the world.
Though spies are able to find out in time and try to stop Mist
But izak goes "i pwn" and destroys the world with the Death Star

I just predicted the whole game.

AHA, the callback pile doesnt stop from getting taller.

Incidentally, I thoroughly recommend that people reread the thread. It's... very amusing.

[JDGA]

Retreat army

I'm dropping my attack because I realised that kiwi was the one who posted the "just predicted the whole game," and that is far too much fun to refer back to.
That and it's funny to watch chesskid flail about.

[JDGA]

There are mountains outside our

boarders

. Just don't get too close.

...
...
...
Erm.
i am 17 and what is this

[JDGA]

Do I get an apology too? >_>
I mean, you

did

claim that was accidental, so it had better have been.
I am no longer in the mood for tomfoolery.

[JDGA]

Spend £3B on general maintenance/improvements
Spend £10B on recovering from the acid bombs

[JDGA]

ok what

Nuke Chesstopia

...
...
...
(Joking, although I wish it wasn't)

[JDGA]

excuse me?

She gassed me, dude.

How was that not a declaration of war, and how was my response not justified?

Because of how disproportionate that was?
Whatever. I'm staying out of this, after what certain people did last time.
I mean, by your logic, if I had some sort of "I Win" button like you seem to be able to, I'd be perfectly justified in using it on you after what you did to my country.
I just don't have one. :/

[JDGA]

Incidentally,

Mod, can we have the OP updated?

[JDGA]

/boycotts

[JDGA]

Is unique

in actually allowing the weapons inspectors to do their thing

I'm pretty sure it's just that the people that don't have anything to hide like us don't ever have them sent to us. :/

[JDGA]

i want World MafiaWar 1 to happen.
Socialist Alliance vs UN
Then the Surivana Convention is made so we discuss about war since it was too bloody and how to treat PoW nicer and no torture.
Chesskid doesnt care and creates World MafiaWar 2, but since his city has no jews he massacre muslims in Concentration Camps.
animopherv city is completely obliterated by Chesskids attacks.
Chesskid tries to attack JDGA but its way too fkin cold and retreats and many die.
Chesskid is destroyed after the UN is able to claim his city by attacking en masse
Since animopherv has no city they grant him a space in middle of surivana.
Surrounding cities get pissed that they all had to give a portion.
As World MafiaWar 2 finishes Mist invents the nuke.
Mist then is treated like a God.
The UN is abadoned and Mistbepowerful is made.
Tragedy dislikes and tries to make a rebelion with the help of mallow, shark,cybele and me
World MafiaWar 3 starts.
Xanatos takes no part during all these conflicts but during that time he researched a Death Star and doesnt care izak even stated in his 1st post its not possible
As the vicious fight between Mistispowerful vs Rebels occurs, mist decides to mass spam nukes throughout the world.
Though spies are able to find out in time and try to stop Mist
But Xanatos goes "i pwn" and destroys the world with the Death Star

I just predicted the whole game.

FTFY

[JDGA]

BB, you got to read all 179 pages if you want to play immediately.

I thoroughly recommend a reread, if only for its entertainment value.

[JDGA]

"So far it's been Fallen Angels, Draconia, Calamity Isles, Intibo, & Chessotopia."

Confirming that this is BS, propose that our implicated countries make a joint public statement to Flying Kiwi informing them that this all has been BS.

Send £5B to the Calamity Isles to aid in their vaccine production

[JDGA]

DISTRIBUTE (vaccines) EVERYWHERE

There, now people can be happy after that incident involving mass irrigation.
We... uh... don't talk about that anymore.

Anyways,

Spend £2B on researching and constructing/discovering the fourth wall

[JDGA]

Robotnick, probably something like this.

[JDGA]

>:(
The h8rs. Are gonna. H8. In fact, I can hear them h8ing right now.

[JDGA]

Send in the support needed for a fair trial

[JDGA]

Then it wouldn't be a trial, now, would it? It'd just be GUILTY.

[JDGA]

Perhaps a more important question is this; are the Draconians issuing a presumption of guilt? (ie guilty until proven innocent, rather that the more contemporary practice of innocent until proven guilty.) Also, are we solely trying Kiwieagle II, or are we trying his generals, officers, parliament etc.?

We're trying them all, and it's innocent until proven guilty. Not that proving them guilty should be all that difficult...

[JDGA]

wait what
Just because they're from my country, doesn't mean I'm going to be assuming direct control over them XD
Besides, I need to save my 1000+ word stories for EtE.

[JDGA]

I would like to reiterate that I am not the prosecution, I am the judge/jury/executioner.
I would advise that anyone planning on prosecuting starts now.

[JDGA]

With regards to the second count, the war of aggression against Mistotopia in the Second Mistotopian War, we have no data accomanying this event, so, unfortunately, we have nothing to add besides what is already public knowledge.

Objection. You cannot charge without evidence. I move to dismiss this second count.

Kiwieagle I, though a breakdown in communication, then attacks Chesstopia's weapons factories.....Crucially, Kiwieagle I, perhaps sensing the turn of the tide, switched sides to defend Chesstopia, thus directly leading to the loss of Astariel in the war, and ultimately the destruction of Astariel herself.

Objection. These statements are conjecture, not fact. The Law does not deal in conjecture. Motion for the jury to disregard this statement.

Finally, Magrathea is unable to comment on the fourth count, that of perfidy against Melodica and Mistotopia, due to the personal connection Magrathea has with the conflict; it occured during the Dinotopian War, and as Dinotopia then eventually became Magrathea, we feel we would be biased to give evidence on this matter.

Objection. Because of Margrathea's direct involvement with the conflict, any evidence procured on this account by Margrathea is biased, and therefore cannot be held up in court. Motion for the Jury to disregard Mr. Slartibartfast's statement.



The defense will begin their cross examination of the witness in my next post. These dismissals must be resolved first.

I

am

the judge's nation

First objection: Overruled. A war does in fact count as evidence.
Second objection: Sustained. We want evidence here, not just conjecture. However, a significant portion of that statement is fact, so restating it without infusing it with conjecture as to Flying Kiwi's motives will allow it to hold water in this case.
Third objection: Overruled. That happens to be

exactly

what Mr. Slartibartfast just said, so there is no purpose in striking it. Please try to pay more attention.

[JDGA]

my god so much not-how-law-works

Jesus, Drench. For the most part these are kids (or young adults, etc.) and, durrr, none of them are exactly lawyers. Accept that there are gonna be a lot of inaccuracies and approximations.
Why?
Because it's a fucking game, not a court room simulacrum.

Ace Attorney. That is all.

[JDGA]

Note: if I misspell things, fuck you.

Okay. I'm asking a few questions, just quote them and answer them. If I don't ask a question to you, it's not appropriate for you to respond.

So you took office 15 years ago? What about the guy before you, are you accountable for anything he did, good or bad?

The defense would like to note, Kiwi II cannot be held accountable for the actions of his predecessor. But we will get to that later.

Mr. Slaterfast (sp), why is Kiwieagle II on trial?

Mr. Slaterfast (sp), in Magrathea, what is the policy on innocence. Is it innocent until proven guilty or guilty until proven innocent? In Margrathea is the burden of proof on the prosecution or on the defense?

These questions are asked because the defense would like to get a sense of the background in which Mr. Slaterfast (sp) can make these statements.

Mr. Slaterfast, why are you here? why are you presenting statements against my client Kiwieagle II?

None of this is relevant. None of it.

[JDGA]

He did answer the question as directed.

[JDGA]

I'm not the prosecution >_>
The judge and jury is Draconian in origin, but other than that no.

[JDGA]

Irrelevant.

[JDGA]

Jury, you need proof without a shadow of a doubt that Kiwieagle II is guilty. Any doubt, any unanswered question, and you cannot convict him. The law does not put innocent men in prison. The law does not convict a man without due process. Many people have walked into this courtroom today ready to convict my client without due process. Kiwieagle II is an innocent man. We do not convict innocent men.

OBJECTION!

The jury convicts on a REASONABLE doubt. It is impossible to prove anything without a shadow of a doubt.
I'm half-tempted to request T-Bone be sent out for comtempt of court. Can we?

[JDGA]

Ani stfu. I can find 10 things that get you sent into jail.

Good luck getting anyone to believe a convicted criminal.

....thats all?

Seriously?

Villains Never Lie is, sadly, not actually Truth In Television.

[JDGA]

Ani stfu. I can find 10 things that get you sent into jail.

Good luck getting anyone to believe a convicted criminal.

....thats all?

Seriously?

Villains Never Lie is, sadly, not actually Truth In Television.

Yeah, at the moment kiwieagleII isn't running his country anymore because he's in jail and should be removed from the game, imo. That's pretty much why I didn't say anything.

Essentially, and I would be very surprised indeed if he wasn't.
In other news, QUOTE PYRAMID TIME~!

[JDGA]

As long as im alive I believe I can post, likewise Ani we have all commited war crimes whether you want to admit it or not. I seriously dont care if your inflated ego wont admit it. If im going to jail for something EVERYONE has done this is one BIASED judge.

No, you've been found guilty for attacking with biochemical weapons. There is a very important difference.

[JDGA]

and I can name atleast 5 people who have done worse things

You mean your

allies

?

[JDGA]

You were found guilty. Your denial means nothing, it has been proven in a court of law that you did.

[JDGA]

It is possible to talk to convicted players!

Not for much longer.

[JDGA]

Sink £3B into standard upkeep/improvements
Put £3B into a fund to encourage repopulation of Draconia (ala "baby bonus")

[JDGA]

izak, mother nature called. It wants to sue you for stealing its idea of harbouring a planet with life on it.

*bricked*

[JDGA]

I'm not quite sure whether to argue with you, state that Mod knows best, or drop an oddly accurate, perfectly shaped and sized meteor..

Homestuck?
But in all seriousness, I was joking by pointing out how absurd T-Bone's comment was.

[JDGA]

Is chesskid in control of Chesstopia, or has he been eliminated with kiwi?

[JDGA]

I also ask Dark Moon that, if they sent threatening letters, they leave a return address.

QFT

You have a lot to learn about chesstopians bro.
They are like Spartans, they only war when it is necessary to defend themselves, or their honour has been slighted.

Or when their leader feels like sending them off to attack the peaceful nations of the world?
^_^

[JDGA]

President Animorpher is being held captive and awaiting trial.

Caledonia

has issued a statement saying that his bail will cost £2,000,000,000, and that he will be released into the custody of the nation that pays it. It also warned that, should he evade trial, the nation that paid the bail will be held responsible

Whatever "held responsible" is supposed to mean, exactly, I honestly couldn't care less.

Pay Bail
Don8 £3B to MASA

[JDGA]

News reporters gathered as the

Caledonian

plane landed in

Draconia

, but what happened next was rather unexpected. A large box marked "Air Mail" was unloaded, and quickly driven to the President's house. Bomb teams were at the ready, but it's contents turned out to be far simpler than that. Inside the box was an unhappy President Animorpher, wrapped in brown paper and sent to

Draconia

by air mail.

...
erm.

Let him free

[JDGA]

Bribe a assasin to kill the second in command

Since he doesnt want me to replace him <.<

inb4 "wait that was supposed to be a PM"
Also the assassins are probably all already out-bribed by inspie what with his massive supply of INFINITE MONEYZ AND MINIONZ 'n'all.

[JDGA]

...

Bribe an assas

s

in to kill the person that can't spell assassin

[JDGA]

That was a joke. HA HA. FAT CHANCE~

[JDGA]

MISSILES~!
(Joking, I just felt like posting that to stop the last MM post being chesskid)
(Plus I'm bored)

[JDGA]

Chesskid, while kiwieagle has (apparently) a legitimate reason for continuing to post, you don't.
To that end, I am fully justified when I say this.

FTFY

[JDGA]

[JDGA]

£1B on general upkeep/improvements

[JDGA]

...
So you're saying that you're on the "right" side because you won the battle?

[JDGA]

Expanding the nuclear energy project to include fusion would actually be awesome. Should we set that up?

[JDGA]

Only if you claim post 7676.

[JDGA]

...otherwise you cant be powerful!

Referencing that post never gets old.

[JDGA]

It's been awhile so maybe my memory is wrong, but aren't some of you the countries that RUINED Ethernia in the first place? And they are just going to accept your rule?

Caledonia will make the pledge, should Ethernia want it, to aid them and help them to become a sovereign nation once again. If they prefer rule by their neighbors, that's fine too.

Kcda, this is the sort of tomfoolery (by attempting to interfere in things that have nothing to do with him and generally being a jerk) that is why T-Bone is under attack, I believe.
BTW, It's

Caledonia

, not

Celadonia

. ^_^

And like izak said, the nation is practically wrecked anyway. Honestly, I would think that they would be happy with any form of support right now, and having the nations of Korikai help them out (even by taking their independence as a free nation) would probably be better for them than having to struggle with intermittent shipments of aid from a nation that is currently facing their own problems.

Hold a referendum in whichever third of Ethernia is left to ask if they wish to be annexed into Draconia or instead to remain independent

Of course, just in case I'm wrong, I'd like to know first.

[JDGA]

reinstate ALL the missile silos man.

re-erect the middle finger.

Rule Chesstopia as CHESSKID did. Be firm but fair.

Destroy any and all who cross you.

Isn't this why you were killed off in the first place?

[JDGA]

Nuke chesskid

No, not the city he's in, just shove a portable nuclear warhead down his throat.
EVERYONE WINS!

(okay only joking)

[JDGA]

I haven't sent missiles until after you attacked me. Get your order of events straight. Remember I was the victim, not the villain.

This is still an assumption.

[JDGA]

£1B into MASA for their hard work

[JDGA]

...

[JDGA]

What happened to my referendum for the remaining third of Ethernia?

[JDGA]

You lost it to corruption.

[JDGA]

You spend money to do stuff.

[JDGA]

22B on upkeep

Typo?

[JDGA]

What he says:

Chesstopia will not be picking fights with anyone

unless offended

What he means:

Chesstopia will be picking fights with everyone

[JDGA]

Now that Chesskid is back in control, Caledonia wishes to realign with Chesstopia.

oh hey yeah I think this is another reason why people were after you

[JDGA]

plague wins the thread.

[JDGA]

£2B on general upkeep and improvements

[JDGA]

Blackberry: Have you outlawed battery farming yet?

[JDGA]

Nothing to "XD" about.

[JDGA]

KILLSAT CHESSTOPIA

loljk

[JDGA]

[JDGA]

Didn't I have practically the latest OP cached?

[JDGA]

o.o

Still here~

Just waiting for stuff to happen.

[JDGA]

Which means

finally

no more nukes flying around?

[JDGA]

£10B into MASA

Because I'm bored and I'd love to make MASA really awesome fairly soon.
MAFIAMARS OR BUST!

[JDGA]

Okay, so I guess this is the part where I go through the

entire

thread and point out which nukes were me and which nukes (one, maybe two?) were not me.
Also I was literally and entirely seriously planning to nuke the world and escape to MafiaMars as soon as MASA got there XD
And yes, I was the mastermind behind almost

all

the nukes even though I think I was the most trusted player in the game. I was planning to get really mad and nuke everyone to just end the world through armageddon and nuclear winter (if nothing else) should I have been attacked though.

EDIT: inspi, did you know about my nukes btw? Also, inspi's nuking of Chesstopia and Magrathea's final attack were the only two nukes that weren't me. Although you recall how there were two simultaneous attacks on Chesstopia there? One of them was me, the other was Robotnik.

Also, an apology to ani: The nuke that went off in your country was my "test." I never expected you to try to bury it, I honestly thought you'd dump it somewhere uninhabited where it wouldn't kill everyone

[JDGA]

inspi, did you know about my nukes btw?

[JDGA]

Nope, I'd assume it is because all the security was set up before I got to infiltrating everything. I worked with a system of using mostly sleeper agents, which makes for almost uncatchable agents but only getting the info on existing projects by getting very high up the totem pole mostly on their own merit. (That was how I found out about T-Bone, one of my spies eventually got promoted to a position high enough in intelligence where he could freely access all files).
Also, the security on nuclear projects in this game was ridiculous, realisticly I might have gotten away with my program in secret because I got all the info I needed from plague and only built a single nuke with a small (secure) team (besides having an enormous espionage/counter-intelligence budget), anyone else running a real program should have been just about public information imo.

Ah. I did panic for a moment though when you mentioned that you'd learned "possibly the greatest secret in the game" though, which is why I PM'd you about trying to find out what it was XD
EDIT: What is this "Order 66" anyway? I mean, other than turning the planet into a fine powder.

[JDGA]

P:MS2 I think I won't be secretly omnicidal, for that matter.

[JDGA]

Because I was planning to have you and JDGA survive (you were the guys that I liked most of the other players), but decided to change it to kill JDGA after he told us about the leave-the-planet-then-nuke-it plan.

@JDGA, Yeah, you died because it was convenient as an intro to the big assassination plot

This is also why plague got the Deimoska region, Calamity Isles itself would be too small to be a superpower on it's own and I wanted a player from each 'power' In the original plan JDGA would have had a similar role to Ani, CI/Deimoska didn't need an NPC because plague was my ally and Chesskidette was there to

mock Chesskid

make Chesskid also win by proxy.

But seriously, did you really think I'd spend the entire game gaining everyone's trust and then not abuse it at all?

[JDGA]

No? I just caused a bunch.
BTW, what would have happened if I got bored and nuked you?

[JDGA]

Ah. Incidentally, I just realised that had you done your Order 66 and left me alive as you originally planned, well...

[JDGA]

Shoosh you >_>