Author Mafia - Game Over!

[Rucks]

There are two things you gotta know about catching liars. The first one is that you gotta be a good liar if you ever wanna figure one out. The second one is that the best liars are kids from broken homes.

There's never been a home broken quite like The Kid's.

Kid didn't let that stop him. Made a name for himself. More than I woulda done, in his shoes. Hero? He wouldn't call himself that, so neither will I. But a man. Someone who does the job in front of him without needing to be told.

Ain't never had a job quite like this, though.

At least with a gasfella or a windbag you know where you stand. Enemies with the courtesy to draw their weapons, instead of putting on a smiling face and lookin for your back. Kid had faced a lot of enemies in time, but never one who lied about it.

Well, there was that one time. But we don't talk about him no more.

But the fact is there are some bad apples here. False friends. Killers, and not the good kind. And when you know something like that, there's two things you can do. You can run, or you can hunt em down.

Kid's never been the running type.

As for me? I'm just an old man past his prime who was never that good about shutting up. Spent my whole life seekin out good folks. Found The Kid. Hell of a find. Makes you wish there were two of him. One was enough to handle The Calamity, after all...

Ah, I'm ramblin. That's about all I do, is talk. Kid's good at a lot of things, but he's never had a way with words. Maybe that'll get him in trouble here. I think he'll do alright, though. Kid always does.

Anyway, I suppose I should start at the beginning...

Kid didn't have a whole lot to go on. Decided to just vote the person he'd have the most trouble understanding. Not really fair, but better than nothin.

Vote: Gertrude Stein

[Rucks]

Papers have always got to stir up trouble. That's how they get spread around. But this Bugle was too much for The Kid's taste.

Mamet's maybe got a vote or two more than the others, but it was nothing big. Certainly didn't catch The Kid's eye until he read in that snot rag that ignoring it was somethin that good folks shouldn't do. Well, the Kid's fighting the good fight, so he already knows that's wrong.

Kid figured there was more to it than that, though. Here was someone ready to use a word like criminal against people who didn't mention a three-vote wagon. Someone making a big deal over a small shadow. But the worst of it is that his vote was still on that Poe fella, who'd been swinging his vote more than anyone.

Kid meant this in a good way, mind. Swinging was a word for weapons.

Add it all up, and The Kid was ready to burn the damn paper. And if the editor was a murderer, it was a black mark against Mr. Mamet too. But The Kid was takin things one at a time.

Vote: The Daily Bugle

[Rucks]

Kid was apparently in front of a whole mess've ducklings, all going for the paper. That's all well and good. Strange how none of them wanna look him in the eye, though. Everyone wanted to have their own reason for throwing that paper in the trash. Normally when you walk down a well-trodden path, you make reference to the wagons in front of you. Or ducks. Kid could never keep his metaphors straight.

People following his vote without saying it. What does that mean? Well, The Kid couldn't rightly tell. He put the fact away for later.

Bret fella was right enough about being past lynching on die-rolls, but he got the reason wrong. Ain't no harm in your vote moldering away on some nothing. Just ain't no help when you should be helpin'. But he took it off without putting a new one back. The call was a little terse, even by The Kid's standards. Kid wasn't the type to use phones, mind, but if he was, his call woulda gone on a little longer. "Quit with the RVS. Make something of your vote." He'd say the same thing to some others, come to think of it.

Kid thought about the push on Zimmer Bradley. He had his little gramophone to play back their words - Kid could never keep them in his head otherwise. Can you blame him? He's got a lot on his mind. It's only fair...

Ah, I'm ramblin again.

So the kid puts this tape in, tape 52. Listens to it a few times. Little strange she'd cling to her random vote, but she's thinkin' about it, still sayin' she has some suspicion. Murderers forget to pretend to hunt for themselves often enough, but that's not what this is. The Kid ain't seein it as a murderer's slip. Maybe if she had missed the tension in those thoughts, but she spelt it right out.

The Poe fella pushin' her was fighting the good fight, though. Kid would bet his hammer on it, even if they disagreed on names. Greg and Tom, followin' him without a reason at, that's somethin' else entirely. The Kid couldn't tell why they thought she was a murderer. Vagueness and capital punishment, now there are a couple of tonics Kid wasn't keen to mix anytime soon.

Mostly, the kid was waiting for the next edition of the paper. His fire was gettin' low.

[Rucks]

Mod: By my reckoning we need some prods on a whole mess of folks.

It was a slow time. Kid was used to slow, with all of that time on The Rippling Walls. Hard to separate the killers from the good folks when they're all keepin quiet, though. But The Kid was patient.

Wallace made a good point about style over substance. It seemed like most people here didn't speak in straight lines. Kid had fought his share of monsters, but he had no clue what a grammar looked like. A lot of damn nonsense, is what it was.

The Kid didn't understand what Ms. Austen was on about. Seuss not saying a damn word, now that ain't healthy for anyone, no matter which sort of people he is. But she said he was waitin, and rushin up, and waitin again? Well, there's no rushin' up part to speak of, is there? What makes him read as more of an opportunist?

They said that sometimes, a Marshal who's been out on patrol too long would start stabbing at every shadow he sees, burnin themselves out on nothin'. When the real threat came he'd be worn out and sleeping, and well, you can tell the story from here. Kid wasn't one of those. He had his eyes open and he knew he'd find what he was seekin' in the end. Truth was funny that way.

[Rucks]

When new recruits start their first tour, they always do the same thing. They pick big weapons, biggest they can find, bigger than anything they've used before. Tryin to prove something, I suppose. Well, the Marshal's have seen that song and dance before, so the first thing they'll do is make you drill with the damn thing for hours and hours. If it's a heavy weapon, you gotta keep swingin; if it's a heavy gun, you gotta keep shootin straight. Well, naturally, this tires the green ones right out. But it makes the point. If you can't keep using it consistently, you need a smaller weapon.

Kid was startin' to figure it was the same for voices. If you can't keep talkin, maybe you're putting too much work into your voice and not enough into your words.

This was getting a little close to philosophy for The Kid's taste. Kid never liked philosophy. Didn't connect to the world enough for his liking. But when you're alone for a day, well, not much else to think about.

[Rucks]

Things were startin to come together. Kid hadn't cracked the puzzle or nothin', but he was linkin' pieces here and there.

Austen, the Kid had talked about already. Sure is strange in a room full've quiet people, you can pick one and say that if they post more you'll find more than one post of their scummy. Kid didn't have the heart to charge in after the recent exchange between her and Poe, though. He didn't agree with Austen, but she sure seemed to feel she was in the right. Faking indignation isn't the newest game under the sun, Kid knows that as well as any, but it's enough to stay his hand for now. Felt too much like two innocent people goin' at each other's throats.

Kid had some other things he was wondering. He still wasn't too sure what Zimmer Bradley found scummy in Mrs. Stein. And something about Marlowe really set him off. Poe's words were there clean as day, but his only words were to ask for someone to read for him? It's air and vapor when he owes more.

But the thing that got The Kid the most was that cummings fella. Austen is scummier than Poe, but they're both scummy, he says. But cummings had 3 other posts, all of them singing one tune: death to Zimmer Bradley. Austen's comparison to Poe, that he'll give us, but not the comparison to Zimmer Bradley? Kid didn't like that one bit. Seemed to come from a different mind than 12 hours ago.

Kid found himself agreeing with Mr. Wilde. Something in his gut liked this wagon more than Austen.

Vote: e.e. cummings

[Rucks]

Kid listened to tape 149. Cummings. It was what he was lookin for; or at least, enough of it to make him lose his passion. Well, easy come, easy go...

Now, Bret Easton Ellis, Kid had a real problem with. The Ellis fella had to label his suspicion as minor, so minor it shouldn't be recorded. Kid's had to pull a similar song and dance before - too many scumbags and only one hammer. But Bret's holdin' no hammer at all. That's a problem. If you've got only one person who's you most suspect, why not get it recorded? A mild suspicion with nothin bigger, well, any good soul in that situation puts the vote down anyway, because it's the best they got. Making sure to run your mouth and not voting at all? When you still have one person you suspect over others? That's someone who's real scared to be on the record, real scared to be caught out.

This is a dead and lazy time for the seekers, and our votes ain't worth much. But the hiders? Well, presumably they can be caught now as well as ever, which means they're as scared of bein caught as ever. Kid couldn't think of why else he'd see Ellis being so damn delicate with his vote.

Vote: Bret Easton Ellis

And hell, while I've got your eye...

Moderator: a couple of things to bring to your attention:

First off, Bret Easton Ellis ain't listed as not voting, while God and Poe appear twice on the VC. It helps to take those numbers and make sure the sums check out before you share with the class.

Second...well, read the list. 15 days, 20 minutes. 15 days, 5 hours. 13 days, 22 hours. At some point, something's gotta be done, one way or the other.

[Rucks]

And another thing...

Kid didn't like Snicket bringing back a Poe vote with nothing new. Tape 90 was a headache to listen to the first time around, but The Kid especially hated it now. After two weeks, that's still the single thing that most suggests someone is a murderer? The fact that someone, currently leading a new charge, once said something about you that you don't agree with?

[Rucks]

Kid couldn't quite tell why Marlowe was after the Bugle and not Danielewski, or Wiseau, or one of a dozen others. It's a wisp of a thought. Needs to be completed.

[Rucks]

Kid was left feelin hollow. Things were too slow. Too quiet. Hard to get a good idea on anyone.

Kid wanted Ellis dead the most, but the hour was gettin late. Still - he had to wonder if maybe that wasn't the correct time. 25 days, 23 days, 17 days. The time of adjourning was assuming rule 14 was in effect, but unless Kid was misremembering what that Lovecraft fella had said from the start, Rule 14 wasn't even in the same world as workin. What were the rules here? Kid wasn't rightly sure.

He still wanted Ellis's blood. He'd settle for Zimmer Bradley or Marlowe if it came to that. For now, he mostly wanted Lovecraft to step in and let him in on what exactly was happening.

Good folks: Poe, Joyce, Snickett, Wilde, Kauffman. About in that order.

[Rucks]

Why is Bret scum? Well, it's a story of eggshells. Suspectin someone in an empty and quiet hall like this, that's ain't hardly nothin. Plenty of dead wood to burn. You can't really vote wrong.

But a fella with a secret? Oh, he can vote wrong, all right. He can get caught.

Kid could smell it in the air. Ellis stank of it. Kid wasn't happy that things were so damn slow, but at least the silence of the group made the fear shine big and bright. The fear didn't belong. But here's Ellis, pointin his finger without voting, and then getting the hell out of town.

It's Ellis today. No other choice. Zimmer Bradley is at least showin the effort to cooperate, and the time is just about upon us.

It was time for The Kid to lay down the law. You show up, you vote for Ellis. Kid won't even ask for a reason. It was a free pass for scumbags to vote without being accountable, but Kid didn't care as much about that as he did about gettin any blood he could. And with so many people gone away, it'll take just about everyone still around to see this through.

Here's one more contribution, though. Kid noticed Lovecraft didn't hear him the first time:

Vote: Bret Easton Ellis

[Rucks]

"People can talk with voices not their own," the Lovecraft fella had said. Or something like it. Kid didn't really understand. Well, it didn't concern him, anyway - he'll keep doing what he always does, and so will I. No changes here.

Seuss? Ha, now there's a mystery. Kid didn't have any trouble with him swoopin in and putting poor Ellis outta his misery. He woulda done the same, no two ways about it. His comments were something else entirely, though. Not the part where he said he thought Ellis was a good person: there was no chance of anything else, by my words if nothin else. But the second two lines were something to worry about. Too cheeky. Didn't sit right.

Still, to properly suss things out, Kid wanted to hear from Seuss first. For now, he had another bone to pick. This with the new Spinnin paper.

Phelps, now he knew how to show up. He comes in, tells us what he thinks and why, Kid gets to know him real quicklike. But the paper? Day 1 was scarce but not empty, but here it is already in gettin-by mode. Kid needed a REASON for Shakespeare. Without giving that, a vote is just ticking a box without aiming for a wagon, and there's only one kind of person that does that.

Vote: Spinning Paper

[Rucks]

Kid had a lotta problems with Miss Stein's post 320.

She agrees with Phelp's post about Seuss, and she had her vote following suit. She said right there, plain as day. But then sittin on her other suspects is Phelps himself. You agree with him on the one particular he yells repeatedly, but still want him for lynching? What happens to your Phelp's read if Seuss flips scum?

And then there's her suspcion of Shakespeare out of nowhere. Shakespeare's advocating a Pynchon/Zimmer Bradley scumteam, and Ms. Stein ain't got nothing to say about why she thinks Shakespeare is scummy. But the consensus is starting to churn for him, and there she is.

Spinnin Paper hadn't gotten any better, mind, but Miss Stein's thoughts seemed to be comin from different places: strategic picks, not one mind with one idea of the gamestate. Kid only knew of one kind of folk that thought like that.

Unvote, Vote: Gertrude Stein

[Rucks]

Phelps was seein' things a little too black and white. Part of his reputation, I guess. But The Kid couldn't help but wish for nuance.

Counterwagons, like rotten fruit, Phelps had said. As though everyone not votin' for Seuss was a murderer. Lazy thoughts like that don't help no one. Which counterwagons, Phelps? Who are the ones who honestly disagree, and who are the ones who are taking risks to save their partner in crime?

And no matter how many times Kid read the Spinnin Paper, he couldn't figure out why it wanted Austin dead. It was time to explain a long time ago, snotrag.

Kid wondered if Marlowe was still around at all.

That Confucius fella did a good job of rephrasing what the Kid was getting at with Stein. Too early to call him one way or the other, but Kid had a good feelin'.

Joyce, Poe, Snickett, Kauffman continue to be good folks.

[Rucks]

Now here's something to see. Miss Stein's steppin right past my question, and Confucius restating it besides.

She does this to switch her vote to the growin' Zimmer Bradley wagon. But she asks,in the same post, if she's claiming tracker or watcher.

If you think she's crumbing tracker or watcher, the last thing you do is make it clear for everyone to see, then vote for her to be executed without waiting for answer.

And her reason for the switch? "You phrase things in an odd matter?" That's the pot calling the polar bear black and no mistake. But it let you switch to a "suspect" that wasn't caught in the strange tangle of Seuss and Phelps.

It was time to bring the attack to Stein. Kid drew his machete. The sharp one. The grammar.

[Rucks]

Kid was a little put off by this. He figured Miss Stein was wearing the black mark a lot more than Austen.

Still, in a choice between Seuss and Austen, Kid would throw his lot in with the former. Gladiatin' is a strange tool for murderers to have in the first place; and even if he was a murderer who could do it, why now, right when everyone's eyes were starting to look elsewhere?

Vote: Jane Austen

[Rucks]

Kid came back from a tour on the walls and sighed a little sigh. It had been long. Too long.

He wasn't really interested in explaining the little details. Things came up, he was gone, and it was bad. Nothin to be done but draw his hammer and make up for lost time.

Had to take stock in his reads. He could have sworn Joyce was one of the good folks, and Stein was a villian. Two misses. Right about Zimmer Bradley. Not much consolation.

What did he know? Danielewski is either town or a different mafia faction than Joyce was. Poe's town. If Confucius isn't town, he's very good at false thinking along the same line as the Kid. Kid doesn't think that's too likely - but that could just vanity.

Who's out for blood? Harder question. Kid had to hit the books for that one. As he skimmed, he wondered if there had already been an answer to the difference in purple and orange names.

On more recent events, Kid had a lot of questions about Snicket's tape 690. Too many people? Can't tell who is who? What's the story here? What exactly was he told?

And hell, while we're playing back tapes, here's one more:

Hey God, tell me about those quotes, why they make Wilde scum?

Vote: Lemony Snicknet

Same reason as yesteday, in case it wasn't clear, seeing what comes of the Paper's soft-claim.

Kid was curious what Thomas, himself, thought about Snicket. Take the paper out of it, how do you feel then?

[Rucks]

Kid hadn't been around, this is true.

All sorts of things came up, and the nights seem to show up right when he finally got some time.

Still, there's also a reason Kid felt safe not making himself obviously town. Not that this is an excuse; Kid wasn't a fan of people who used this reason, personally. But there was an escape hatch that nonetheless did influence the Kid's thinking. And it had been a part of the Kid's plans to lay low and not get shot. (Not this low, but all of life's in the living of it.) Kid's at L-2, ain't no time to be bashful.

Kid's a Seeking Mason. Found his partner Night One. Can't blame you for the suspicion, given the circumstances, but it's time to relocate.

The Kid's partner can confirm - not that it's the hardest puzzle in the universe.

Of course, there's still the problem that the Kid don't have no damn idea who the scum is. You folks seem to be doing fine enough without his input - Kid's last big scum read was the last mislynch, after all - but he'll give it one more go.

Kid took a whole stack of records. Figured he'd try to listen to them like it was the first time.