Micro 393: 2012 Primary Mafia (Game Over)

[goodmorning]

Welcome to Micro 393: 2012 Primary Mafia

And what better for starting flavor than an exchange that doesn't feature any of our candidates but is nonetheless noteworthy in that

Bill O'Reilly

, of all people, is the sane man?

"You will find liberals always rooting for savages against civilization." –Ann Coulter
"They didn't root for the Nazis against civilization." –Bill O'Reilly
"Oh yes they did. ... It was only when Hitler invaded their precious Soviet Union that at the last minute they came in and suddenly started saying oh no, now you have to fight Hitler." –Ann Coulter, "The O'Reilly Factor," May 7, 2010

Playerlist:

SleepyKrew

ArcAngel9

Aronis

AxleGreaser

TierShift

theaceofspades

Whooch

(Who + Cho hydra)

Flubbernugget

phokdapolees

Spoiler: Saying the Darnedest Things (1/9)

SleepyKrew, Rick Santorum,

Mafia Vanillaizer

, survived.

Spoiler: Bowed Out of the Race (8/9)

Aronis, Michele Bachmann,

Mafia Compulsive Flavor Watcher

, lynched D1.
AxleGreaser, Buddy Roemer,

Vanilla Town

, killed N1.
phokdapolees, Herman Cain,

Town Doctor

, lynched D2.
Whooch, Jon Huntsman,

Town Neighborizer

, killed N2.
ArcAngel9, Ron Paul,

Town Cop

, lynched D3.
TierShift, Rick Perry,

Town JoaT

, killed N3.
theaceofspades, Newt Gingrich,

Town Astronaut

, lynched D4.
Flubbernugget, Mitt Romney,

Town Ice Cream Vendor

, endgamed.

Spoiler: Forsaken by the Party

Hopefully none.

Rules:

General (I):

1. All sitewide rules/guidelines apply.
2. I'm using this colour (and for a reason this time??), try not to use it or I'll assume you're

impersonating me

an independent who's infiltrated the GOP.
3. Communication about this game is not allowed outside of this thread, excepting in Mod-approved locations.
4. Don't quote things about this game that come from outside of the thread. You may paraphrase. Use good judgement.
5. Breadcrumbing and other forms of in-thread communication are fine. Don't do anything weird and encrypted though.

Activity:

6. Prods will be issued after 72 hours, or 48 on request (requested prods for a time period less than 72 hours will not be counted as "official" prods). If you don't post for 24 hours after an official prod or 48 after an unofficial, you will be replaced.
7. Players who garner three "official" prods on a given Day will be replaced.
8. Players on V/LA will not be prodded until 48 hours after their V/LA ends.
9. Days will be of length (# of players +1), but will be no less than 7 days. Nights will be two days in duration. Daystart PMs will be provided.

Votes, Lynches, and other Actions:

10. Votes must be bolded/votetagged.
11. Lynches require what is sometimes referred to as a simple majority. No lynch will occur if this is not reached by deadline. You may also vote for no lynch.
12. Once a lynch has been reached, all living players and the lynched player may continue talking until the flip is posted.
13. If actions are not submitted by deadline they are forfeit.

General (II):

14. Flavour is not relevant but hopefully mildly entertaining.
15. Rules will be modified if necessary. Notification of modification will be provided.

Spoiler: Sample VT PM

You are

Tim Pawlenty,

Vanilla Town

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Who?:

You might have had more abilities but nobody seems to know who you are.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

You win when there are no remaining threats to the presidential campaigns of the good and righteous.

Reminder: This game was advertised as "somewhat bastard."

[goodmorning]

All Role PMs are now out.

Play will begin when 8/9 have confirmed.

If the requisite number of confirmations is not reached in (expired on 2014-09-21 12:00:00), replacements will happen.

8/9 have confirmed. Tier has til the clock expires to do so.

[goodmorning]

''I have two grandchildren — Maggie is 11, Robert is 9. I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time they're my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.''

—Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich in March 2011

Votecount 1.0

Not Voting [9] - SleepyKrew, ArcAngel9, Aronis, AxleGreaser, TierShift, theaceofspades, Whooch, Flubbernugget, phokdapolees

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you know?''

—Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain

Votecount 1.1

SleepyKrew [L-2] - Aronis, Flubbernugget, Whooch

Whooch [L-3] - SleepyKrew, phokdapolees

theaceofspades [L-4] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [3] - TierShift, theaceofspades, AxleGreaser

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00).

[goodmorning]

Can someone give me a current republican party member who is not completely shit? I want to listen to their views without their words being brought upon me by some repulsive person.

ahahahahahahaha good luck with that.

The current Republican party is largely full of wealthy warmongering Christian extremists who think anything left of Mussolini is TERRIFYING.
The northern Republicans are slightly saner than the southern ones, but the only northern one that's been allowed to really talk is Chris Christie and he's kind of a massive dick.

''It's a good issue to keep alive. It's fun to poke at him.''

—Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry, suggesting that President Obama's birth certificate is a fake, Oct. 26, 2011

Votecount 1.2

SleepyKrew [L-2] - Aronis, Flubbernugget, Whooch

Whooch [L-3] - phokdapolees, TierShift

theaceofspades [L-4] - ArcAngel9

Aronis [L-4] - SleepyKrew

Not Voting [2] - theaceofspades, AxleGreaser

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''The president, he put us in Libya. He is now putting us in Africa.''

—Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann, unaware that Libya is in Africa (GOP presidential debate, Oct. 18, 2011)

Votecount 1.3

Aronis [L-2] - SleepyKrew, theaceofspades, phokdapolees

SleepyKrew [L-3] - Aronis, Whooch

Whooch [L-4] - TierShift

theaceofspades [L-4] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [2] - AxleGreaser, Flubbernugget

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00).

Mod, can I post the picture from my Role PM?

No, but you can link to it.

[goodmorning]

''I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed.''

—GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, speaking in 2011 to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.

Votecount 1.4

Aronis [L-1] - SleepyKrew, theaceofspades, phokdapolees, Flubbernugget

SleepyKrew [L-3] - Aronis, Whooch

Whooch [L-3] - TierShift, AxleGreaser

theaceofspades [L-4] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [0] -

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a President. And besides, she has cancer.''

—future House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA), reportedly speaking to a friend in 1980 about why he was divorcing his first wife

Votecount 1.5

Aronis [LYNCH] - SleepyKrew, theaceofspades, phokdapolees, Flubbernugget, Aronis

Whooch [L-3] - TierShift, AxleGreaser

SleepyKrew [L-4] - Whooch

theaceofspades [L-4] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [0] -

With 9 alive, it takes

5

to lynch. The day

will end in (expired on 2014-09-29 19:00:00)

is over.

[goodmorning]

''And what a bizarre time we're in, when a judge will say to little children that you can't say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal and you should try it.''

—Michele Bachmann, March 2004

You are

Michele Bachmann,

Mafia Compulsive Flavor Watcher

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Backroom Deals:

You may speak with your partner in [redacted].

Crazy Eyes:

Each Night you must attempt to see who targeted a candidate.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

Night 1 will end in (expired on 2014-09-23 19:00:00).

[goodmorning]

I can't actually find any Roemer quotes because he's pretty irrelevant politically, but he recently mistook a New Orleans city councilman for a student.

You are

Buddy Roemer,

Vanilla Town

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Contribution Reducer:

You were going to have more abilities, but you took the moral high ground and refused all that fat cash.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

AxleGreaser,

Vanilla Town

, was killed N1.

[goodmorning]

''It's a theory that's out there. It's got some gaps in it.''

—Rick Perry, in response to a child who asked him if he believed in evolution during a campaign stop in New Hampshire, August 18, 2011

Votecount 2.0

Not Voting [7] - SleepyKrew, ArcAngel9, TierShift, theaceofspades, Whooch, Flubbernugget, phokdapolees

With 7 alive, it takes

4

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-01 22:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.''

—Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) in April 2009

Votecount 2.1

Whooch [L-3] - phokdapolees

Flubbernugget [L-3] - SleepyKrew

Not Voting [5] - ArcAngel9, TierShift, theaceofspades, Whooch, Flubbernugget

With 7 alive, it takes

4

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-01 22:00:00).

[goodmorning]

Prodding AA9, Whooch, and Flubbernugget.

[goodmorning]

''If this guy prints more money between now and the election. I don't know what y'all would do to him in Iowa, but we — we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas. Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treacherous — or treasonous in my opinion.''

—GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry, suggesting that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke may be a traitor to his country, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, August 15, 2011

Votecount 2.2

Whooch [L-3] - phokdapolees

Flubbernugget [L-3] - SleepyKrew

phokdapolees [L-3] - TierShift

Not Voting [4] - ArcAngel9, theaceofspades, Whooch, Flubbernugget

With 7 alive, it takes

4

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-01 22:00:00).

AA9's prod has expired. Searching for a replacement. If she returns before a replacement is found then she can keep it.

[goodmorning]

''I love this state. The trees are the right height.''

—Mitt Romney, campaigning in Michigan (February 2012)

[goodmorning]

''Texas is a unique place. When we came in the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that. You know, my hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We've got a great union. There is absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what may come out of that?''

—GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry, floating the possibility of Texas seceding, April 15, 2009

Votecount 2.3

phokdapolees [L-1] - TierShift, Whooch, theaceofspades

Whooch [L-3] - phokdapolees

Flubbernugget [L-3] - SleepyKrew

Not Voting [2] - ArcAngel9, Flubbernugget

With 7 alive, it takes

4

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-01 22:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air.''

—Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney in 2007, responding to criticism from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals following revelations that he had once strapped the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip

Votecount 2.4

phokdapolees [LYNCH] - TierShift, Whooch, theaceofspades, SleepyKrew

Whooch [L-3] - phokdapolees

Not Voting [2] - ArcAngel9, Flubbernugget

With 7 alive, it takes

4

to lynch. The day

will end in (expired on 2014-10-01 22:00:00)

is over.

[goodmorning]

''It's going to be 20 feet high. It's going to have barbed wire on the top. It's going to be electrified. And there's going to be a sign on the other side saying, 'It will kill you — Warning.'''

—Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain, on his plan to secure the border, which he later said was a ''joke''

You are

Herman Cain,

Town Doctor

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

9-9-9:

It may be the emergency number for the UK, but shit, we'll roll with it. Each Night you may attempt to protect a candidate.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

Night 1 will end in (expired on 2014-10-03 20:00:00).

[goodmorning]

The problem with Jon Huntsman is that pretty much all his gaffes boiled down to "I'm not Republican enough for this primary."

You are

Jon Huntsman,

Town Neighborizer

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Foreign Policy:

Each Night you may attempt to add a candidate to your Neighbor Topic.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

Whooch,

Town Neighbourizer

, was killed N2.

[goodmorning]

''Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.''

—Texas Gov. Rick Perry, referring to a city that is not in America but across the Texas border in Mexico, February 28, 2011

Votecount 3.0

Not Voting [5] - SleepyKrew, ArcAngel9, TierShift, theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00).

[goodmorning]

‘'What people recognize is that there's a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.''

—GOP presidential candidate Michele Bachmann (R-MN), apparently unaware that the Soviet Union collapsed more than two decades ago (August 2011)

Votecount 3.1

ArcAngel9 [L-2] - SleepyKrew

Not Voting [4] - ArcAngel9, TierShift, theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00).

[goodmorning]

Replacing Flubbernugget.

[goodmorning]

@mod: is there any chance for jesters in this game?

Nothing is impossible.

[goodmorning]

''We have brave men and women who are willing to step forward because they know what's at stake. They're willing to sacrifice their lives for this great country. What I'm asking all of you tonight is not to put on a uniform. Put on a bumper sticker. Is it that much to ask? Is it that much to ask to step up and serve your country?''

—Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), urging supporters to put a Rick Santorum bumper sticker on their cars during his losing 2006 re-election bid

Votecount 3.2

ArcAngel9 [L-2] - SleepyKrew

TierShift [L-2] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [3] - TierShift, theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00).

[goodmorning]

Yeah, you can stay.

[goodmorning]

''I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out: Are they pro-America or anti-America?''

—Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN), calling for a new McCarthyism, Oct. 2008

Votecount 3.3

ArcAngel9 [L-2] - SleepyKrew

TierShift [L-2] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [3] - TierShift, theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.''

—Texas Gov. Rick Perry in 2010

Votecount 3.4

ArcAngel9 [L-1] - SleepyKrew, TierShift

TierShift [L-2] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [2] - theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''[John McCain] doesn't understand how enhanced interrogation works. I mean, you break somebody, and after they're broken, they become cooperative.''

—Repubilcan presidential candidate Rick Santorum, arguing that torture survivor John McCain knows nothing about torture in response to McCain's assertions that it wasn't torture that led to the killing of Osama bin Laden (May 2011)

Votecount 3.5

ArcAngel9 [LYNCH] - SleepyKrew, TierShift, theaceofspades

TierShift [L-2] - ArcAngel9

Not Voting [1] - Flubbernugget

With 5 alive, it takes

3

to lynch. The day

will end in (expired on 2014-10-11 10:00:00)

is over.

[goodmorning]

It's difficult to find words from Ron Paul on the internet, because he's a Libertarian and a Leprechaun and therefore invisible, but some interesting results pop up if you google "ron paul racist newsletter" or "honest rape."

Or "Trilateralist," if you have a bit more time on your hands and love to read conspiracy theories that don't make sense.

You are

Ron Paul,

Town Cop

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Conspiracy:

At Night, you may attempt to investigate a candidate. If you receive results, they will be in the form "good and righteous"/"Trilateralist"

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

Night 3 will end in (expired on 2014-10-09 22:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.''

—Texas Gov. Rick Perry, on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in 2010

You are

Rick Perry,

Town JoaT

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

IN JESUS' NAME AMEN:

All your prayers to Jesus have caused Him to grant you this gift: you may use each of the following actions once, and one per Night.
[redacted]

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

TierShift,

Town JoaT turned Vanilla Town

, was killed N3.

[goodmorning]

''We don't do — you know, we don't do elaborate things. ... Well, go, you go talk to Tiffany's. All I'm telling you is we — we are very frugal.''

—GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, in response to the revelation that he and his wife once owed between $250,000 and $500,000 in a credit account to the jeweler Tiffany's (May 2011)

Votecount 4.0

Not Voting [3] - SleepyKrew, theaceofspades, Flubbernugget

With 3 alive, it takes

2

to lynch. The day will end in (expired on 2014-10-17 01:00:00).

[goodmorning]

''Engage the people. Don't try to pass a 2,700 page bill — and even they didn't read it! You and I didn't have time to read it. We're too busy trying to live — send our kids to school. That's why I am only going to allow small bills — three pages. You'll have time to read that one over the dinner table. What does Herman Cain, President Cain talking about in this particular bill?''

—GOP presidential candidate and former pizza magnate Herman Cain, Pella, Iowa, June 6, 2011

Votecount 4.1

theaceofspades [LYNCH] - SleepyKrew, Flubbernugget

SleepyKrew [L-1] - theaceofspades

Not Voting [0] -

With 3 alive, it takes

2

to lynch. The day

will end in (expired on 2014-10-17 01:00:00)

is over.

[goodmorning]

"Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they'd begin the process of rising."

-Newt Gingrich, 2011.

You are

Newt Gingrich,

Town Astronaut

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Moon Colony:

At Night you may attempt to commute to the moon. Once there, you will be unable to vote, as the postal service doesn't pick up absentee ballots from the moon. On any subsequent Night you may choose to commute back to Earth, at which point you will regain your vote.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

theaceofspades,

Town Astronaut

, was lynched D4.

[goodmorning]

''Tomorrow we begin a new tomorrow.''

—Mitt Romney on his final day of campaigning, Nov. 5, 2012

You are

Mitt Romney,

Town Ice Cream Vendor

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Plain Vanilla:

Each Night you may attempt to gift a candidate some ice cream.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

Flubbernugget,

Town Ice Cream Vendor

, was endgamed.

[goodmorning]

“Earlier in my political career, I had the opportunity to read the speech, and I almost threw up.”

–Rick Santorum, on JFK's 1960 speech about the importance of separation of church and state (October 2011)

You are

Rick Santorum,

Mafia Vanillaizer

.
Abilities:

Also-Ran:

You may speak in the game thread (if anyone will listen).

Backroom Deals:

You may speak with your partner in this PT.

Sweater Vest:

Each Night you may attempt to remove a candidate's powers, unlike your sweater vest.

AMURRIKA:

As a citizen of the United States, you may vote.

SleepyKrew,

Mafia Vanillaizer

, survived.

The Mafia team of Aronis and SleepyKrew win!