A VERY-ill-advised text-based adventure

[Klazam]

Drink the water while picking up KA then

[Randomnamechange]

RESULT

You stand at attention trying to remember who you were, but are interrupted

(dont worry, you werent going to remember anything)

by the captain who offers you a deal: "Considering your cooperation, perhaps we can work out a deal. Your comrades back in the village have left me shorthanded around the castle. So in exchange for your assistance over the course of the next few days, I will grant you freedom. Or you can always go back to where you started. What do you think?"

ENTER ACTION: __________

Agree to help the captain.

We def picked the best path here, getting to be guards!

[Iprobablysuck]

Wake up in starting house, look at the carnage and mutter ''What the fuck'', I then leave through the front door and examine my surroundings

[Kublai Khan]

RESULT

You stand at attention trying to remember who you were, but are interrupted

(dont worry, you werent going to remember anything)

by the captain who offers you a deal: "Considering your cooperation, perhaps we can work out a deal. Your comrades back in the village have left me shorthanded around the castle. So in exchange for your assistance over the course of the next few days, I will grant you freedom. Or you can always go back to where you started. What do you think?"

ENTER ACTION: __________

Agree to help the captain.

We def picked the best path here, getting to be guards!

Yup. Soon we'll be able to stab all these looting, well-dwelling, crying, singing anarchists.

[ConManMick]

RESULT

You stand at attention trying to remember who you were, but are interrupted

(dont worry, you werent going to remember anything)

by the captain who offers you a deal: "Considering your cooperation, perhaps we can work out a deal. Your comrades back in the village have left me shorthanded around the castle. So in exchange for your assistance over the course of the next few days, I will grant you freedom. Or you can always go back to where you started. What do you think?"

ENTER ACTION: __________

Agree to help the captain.

We def picked the best path here, getting to be guards!

Yup. Soon we'll be able to stab all these looting, well-dwelling, crying, singing anarchists.

Not if my plan works out

[KuroiXHF]

Find a law or loophole or something that would obligate him to marry me.

[McMenno]

we shall form a group. and we shall name it "The Gorilla Teapots".

[Annadog40]

Eat the arm that I looted and claim the starting house as my house.

[Iprobablysuck]

Look at Annadog and shake my head disapprovingly.

[Aronis]

Reply to the captain "Well, when you put it like that, it isn't exactly a hard choice. What do you need us to do?"

RESULT

You stand at attention trying to remember who you were, but are interrupted

(dont worry, you werent going to remember anything)

by the captain who offers you a deal: "Considering your cooperation, perhaps we can work out a deal. Your comrades back in the village have left me shorthanded around the castle. So in exchange for your assistance over the course of the next few days, I will grant you freedom. Or you can always go back to where you started. What do you think?"

ENTER ACTION: __________

Agree to help the captain.

RESULT

"Excellent." Replies the captain. "If you will follow me, we can get you set up with some better gear." You follow him towards the exit, heading down the hallway and into a room filled with lots of armor and weapons. "Now are either of you familiar with how to use a sword?" He asks.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Go 30 feet above the well

Infinite loop GO!

RESULT

You fall down into the portal again. Only this time you are able to avoid the jagged rocks on the side of the well. Your head trauma worsens do to your failure to address the wound.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

Try to break into house across street

RESULT

You follow in the footsteps of "Cheery Dog" by climbing in the broken window and gaining access to the house.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

So the guard didn't get portal'd with us, eh?

Grab Felissan, and attempt to link arms with lalaladucks, then try to grab McMenno with my legs. If I can secure everyone, I will attempt to send us to a pub by a dock. Also, I sing the teapot song to reassure my companions that I have a plan.

ACTION FAILED

You are unable to spot anyone else in the portal with you. It appears you will have to go alone and hope they have the same idea as you.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

can we teleport? was there a portal in the well??? so many questions and not enough answers

anyway

Sing teapot song

ACTION FAILED

You try to sing, but your attempts do nothing as you notice that there is no sound in this strange area.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

Go upstairs and explore

RESULT

You head up the creaky wooden stairs and arrive at a hallway. You think you can hear sounds of people talking coming from the door at the end on your left.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

bring the horses andthe carriage to kingdom aces, pick him up, and head off to the castle, enjoying a much deserved sip of cool water from his well bucket.

Get picked up

Though the well bucket is probably tied to the well, so you might want to drink it while you're here.

Drink the water while picking up KA then

RESULT

You both get a drink of water before heading off to the castle in your newly acquired carriage.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

Find a law or loophole or something that would obligate him to marry me.

ACTION FAILED

You do not even know the law around here. And that is assuming that there is a law around here, because at the moment it appears that anarchy abounds.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

Eat the arm that I looted and claim the starting house as my house.

RESULT

You begin eating the arm and claim the 'starting house' as your house.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

Wake up in starting house, look at the carnage and mutter ''What the fuck'', I then leave through the front door and examine my surroundings

Look at Annadog and shake my head disapprovingly.

RESULT

You leave the house and look at "Annadog40" shaking your head disapprovingly as a result of the atrocious practices.

ENTER LOCATION: __________

[Elekitu]

crap I forgot to cry

[Iprobablysuck]

Look around the surrounding area to try and find anything to do with my sad life.

[Felissan]

Teleport over the captain and knock him out using the momentum from my 60+ ft fall

[Annadog40]

Check how many rooms are in my new house.

[Kublai Khan]

RESULT

"Excellent." Replies the captain. "If you will follow me, we can get you set up with some better gear." You follow him towards the exit, heading down the hallway and into a room filled with lots of armor and weapons. "Now are either of you familiar with how to use a sword?" He asks.

ENTER ACTION: __________

If you got it, I'll take a battle axe, a scimitar, a lance, and/or a recurve bow and arrows.

[KuroiXHF]

I decide to give up and find myself a beautiful gullible maiden with a huge rack.

[ConManMick]

Sing teapot song ruefully. Travel to a pub by a dock alone

[McMenno]

Follow ConManMick

I ain't givin' up on ya

[KingdomAces]

Leave the driving to Klazam.

[Cheery Dog]

Go through the door to my left and announce in a loud clear voice "HI mum, I'm home!"

[Klazam]

Make sure there's no obvious bloodstains on my or KA's clothes, if there is any, attempt to clean it off.

When the castle is in sight, head a bit off the road and stop.

KA: So got any ideas for what we should do?

[Aronis]

Look around the surrounding area to try and find anything to do with my sad life.

RESULT

You look around in hopes of finding something to do with your 'sad' life. You could leave the village via the gate, but it would be best to gather supplies first. There are also many buildings in the village where you could explore and find stuff. Maybe you could even meet some friendly(?) villagers while you are at it.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Teleport over the captain and knock him out using the momentum from my 60+ ft fall

RESULT

You teleport on top of the captain, crashing down on him. You knock him to the ground smashing his head on the stone floor leaving him unconscious.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Check how many rooms are in my new house.

RESULT

You discover that there is one room in 'your' new house.

ENTER ACTION: __________

RESULT

"Excellent." Replies the captain. "If you will follow me, we can get you set up with some better gear." You follow him towards the exit, heading down the hallway and into a room filled with lots of armor and weapons. "Now are either of you familiar with how to use a sword?" He asks.

ENTER ACTION: __________

If you got it, I'll take a battle axe, a scimitar, a lance, and/or a recurve bow and arrows.

RESULT

"Take whatever you want-" the captain gestures toward the wall full of weapons. Only he is cut short by someone crashing down on top of him. The armory has lances, axes, and bows. Unfortunately they do not appear to possess scimitars.

ENTER ACTION: __________

I decide to give up and find myself a beautiful gullible maiden with a huge rack.

RESULT

You give up trying to get "Cheery Dog" to marry you and decide to look for a gullible maiden. Unfortunately you do not see any nearby at the moment. Perhaps you would have better luck if you specified a location to look.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Sing teapot song ruefully. Travel to a pub by a dock alone

RESULT

You appear a few feet above the water splashing down into it. Unfortunately you are not alone as "McMenno" appears next to you. You notice a dock a couple of feet away.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Follow ConManMick

I ain't givin' up on ya

RESULT

You appear a few feet above the water splashing down into it. You notice a dock a couple of feet away.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Leave the driving to Klazam.

RESULT

You allow "Klazam" to drive the carriage, choosing to relax and enjoy the view.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Go through the door to my left and announce in a loud clear voice "HI mum, I'm home!"

RESULT

You walk to the end of the hallway and enter the room shouting out. "Cheery, is that you?" A man asks as he drops some sort of a club in shock at your return and embraces you. You see a woman and little girl emerge from the corner of the room to greet you, clearly excited at your return.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Make sure there's no obvious bloodstains on my or KA's clothes, if there is any, attempt to clean it off.

When the castle is in sight, head a bit off the road and stop.

KA: So got any ideas for what we should do?

RESULT

You do not find any bloodstains on your clothing as you plan to pull off the road once you get closer to the castle.

ENTER ACTION: __________

[Killthestory]

can i boop something

[Randomnamechange]

I'll take a sword, shield, a couple of knives and some head and body armour

[ConManMick]

Ok so the well dropped us in the actual water, dang.

I beckon to McMenno and wade ashore, humming the teapot song thoughtfully and making for the pub. I would like to find any sailors or captains who may be inside