A VERY-ill-advised text-based adventure

[Aronis]

pagetop!

[Aronis]

Train to cry the teapot song by crying the teapot song

ACTION FAILED

You cannot cry the teapot song without training.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Achieve inspiration from the ritual and change into a guard outfit and check if there really is a map in my house.

RESULT

You are already wearing a guard outift. Getting inspiration from your horrific ritual, you look around your house for a map but do not see one. Apparently the god of burnt body parts is on vacation right now.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Engage the infinite time loop by going back to the time I was here for the last time

RESULT

You try to engage an infinite time loop. Unfortunately you are stuck in reality at the moment and time travel is not an option.

ENTER ACTION: __________

If the captain is awake -- Inform him that his men are poorly disciplined. Offer to join his guard and whip them into to shape if he'll grant you authority over them.

If the captain is still unconscious -- Leave him to the medic. Ask a passing guard for directions to the barracks. Go there and sleep.

RESULT

The captain is slowly waking up, but still not in great shape so you leave him to the medic and head towards the barracks. You climb into one of the vacant beds and go to sleep.

ENTER ACTION: __________

ask itlepip if he wants to find an honest job, and then go look for one disregarding his answer

RESULT

You ask itlepip if he wants to look for an honest job. itlepip agrees and bashes you on the head with the poker. Again. Ouch.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Say to Radja "long story short, we get to go free if we work asguards here for a few days. Grab some kit from the armoury and we can meet up with KK later"

RESULT

You instruct Radja to get some gear from the armory and work alongside you in order to earn freedom.

ENTER ACTION: __________

ask Kill for any supplies he has on him.

say sure and then hit Kill over the head with poker again.

RESULT

You ask killthestory for supplies and agree to look for an honest job with him. Then you bash him over the head with the poker again. You certainly have a weird way of interacting with people.

ENTER ACTION: __________

''Ha ha, sucker..''

Look for Large backpack to put food and water in, and also look for non-Prisoner clothing to wear on my trek to freedom.

RESULT

You scour the house for food and water. You find some bread, an apple, a couple bottles filled with liquid, and a satchel. You do not see any clothes.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Before anyone sees me, I quickly paint myself red and yell, "OH YEAH!" With any luck, they'll think I'm the Kool Aid Man.

RESULT

You plan to paint yourself red and pretend to be the kool aid man, but there is not any red paint around. You hear the footsteps coming down the stairs now. You have a split second to do something before whoever it is finds you.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Ask why the guards ran away.

RESULT

"Th'all just a bunch of cowards when it comes down to it. They'll ransack our homes and beat us down as long as they can, then scatter when things don't go their way. But you best be prepared, they won't stay gone forever, y'all've ruined their image so they'll be lookin' to make y'all suffer when they get the chance." He replied.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Yell at Kuroi for medical supplies.

RESULT

You yell out KuroiXHF hoping he will give you some medical supplies.

ENTER ACTION: __________

I'm starting to think we should go back to the Village. Or maybe we could try to go past the Castle, but for all we know there could be even less there.

Head away from the castle in the direction opposite from where we came.

(Can be overrwritten by Klazam)

Fix the wagon and go along with KA's plan

RESULT

You try to fix the wagon and head around the castle. Unfortunately the smashed wheel is practically impossible to repair with no tools. You will have to find some proper equipment or ditch the wagon.

ENTER ACTION: __________

I WOULD LIKE TO DO THE UNPREDICTABLE BEHAVIORZ

RESULT

You do the most unpredictable thing you can think of.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Go to different part of village where I can find weapons and/or guards

RESULT

You decide to head deeper into the village towards the large building on the hill where there are sure to be some guards. And where the guards are there will of course be weapons after all.

ENTER ACTION: __________

Tell rando I have no clue what's going on.

Gear up and follow rando

RESULT

You gear up grabbing a set of armor, a sword, a shield, and a dagger.

ENTER ACTION: __________

[KuroiXHF]

I will start giving Ircher medical supplies and when people see me, I will tell them I am the First Aid man, and I give away medical supplies.

[Killthestory]

Go find an honest job with itlepip

[Annadog40]

Gather the gold and my knife and head over to the near by well for some water.

[Felissan]

Try to remember how I got out of here last time, then reiterate that

[Kublai Khan]

Snore. Scratch butt in my sleep.

[Cheery Dog]

Reply with, "but I don't understand. What have we all done?"

[Klazam]

Meh. we'll walk then. Grab all supplies from the wagon though

[Iprobablysuck]

Put the Bread, Apple and ''liquid'' bottles in the satchel and then go upstairs and yell at the Old Man to give me his clothes

[Randomnamechange]

Head to barracks with Radja

[Elekitu]

You already know what I want to do

[Elekitu]

You already know what I want to do

[CareyHammer]

Find weapon

[KingdomAces]

Check what is in the wagon.

If we can't use it, we might as well loot it and take the horse.

[Ircher]

Thank Luroi.

[Rhinox]

spawn /in near road to castle.
wander across klaz and kingdom aces.
say: "uh, hi!"

[ConManMick]

begin eating McMenno's food that I ordered, whilst ignoring the commotion. I ask the bar tender, "So who do I talk to about signing on?"

[itlepip]

Go find honest job

[McMenno]

I scream "BLOOD FOR THE MAYOR!" while jumping the smallest sailor in the fight

[Klazam]

Yeah, loot wagon and take a horse

[Radja]

follow rando to the barracks

[lalaladucks]

Code: Select all

wonder why i'm not in new york, new york

[Ircher]

Scount the surrounding area.

[Iprobablysuck]

R.I.P?