Survivor Mafiascum Rankdown (Properly Dead. Leave it dead)

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I'm sorry, no offence, but Survivor: Mushroom Kingdom was way too fucking big. Like, thirty players is literally ridiculous. Here I'm sitting, looking at the player list, and I can't even comprehend how this was supposed to go, because what the hell are you going to do with thirty people? How is that even a little bit conducive to building characters and a good game?

I'm joking I love you Scopey and it was the first go around so like, of course things were a bit out of whack. But, honestly, this character was a total flop. No posts in their confessional, literally I can't even find their profile, and they quit. We had Hammer Bro who was actually contributing and this dude quit. And I'm actually pretty damn surprised that this character was played by this person, because they turned out to be basically amazing, but this time? No no no.

Sorry. Not sorry. It's not a-me, it's a-you,

Mario 1.0

aka

xRECKONERx

.

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Cilantro-Lime, PSV

. Who? Who? Didn't this dude get replaced? Who?

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there's one cut in particular i am waiting to drop although tbh if it's not done by my go i am going there

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Ooh, no, I'm gonna keep holding off, because there's still some cuts to do.

Myrtle

, who was me in Season Finale, flaked quick and hard and what a fucking waste of a terrific character. Bye.

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rest in pieces tbh

456. Vermin Supreme (Aeronaut) - #2016

"It feels oh so good to be in a survivor game again. I am really glad that I finally have the availability to commit to this game."

- Riddler

to be honest, like, dude came 13th, but still, he did literally nothing all game, and that kinda offends me more than just being booted as an inactive. because he WAS an inactive yet still coasted. like. no. sry aeronaut i love u but be more active next time

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[2:30:56 PM] Crazy: Did you mean to quote Riddler?
[2:30:59 PM] Daniel: yes
[2:31:00 PM] Daniel: yes i did

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well, ani, you weren't joking! controversial is the right word for that cut. and to be honest, it doesn't sit extremely well with me. so.



i think zilean was definitely a low point of LoL. i think the nastiness involved with that character was pretty lowkey gross, and i did end up feeling pretty crappy second-hand just watching that. so like, most of the post i can definitely agree with. but, something i really can't agree with is the explicit positioning of ani vs flameaxe in this cut, and--maybe it'd be better if it wasn't ani making the cut--but it just feels vindictive and petty here. i don't know if i can let it stand.

should zilean and whoever panzer was be the next two out from LoL? i wouldn't disagree with that, since they were actively not fun, and that's a big criterion for me. should this cut be made now, by this person? nah, don't really think so. let's not descend into acrimony and elitish cliquey yelling at the outside.



so, without further ado, i'm

using an idol

. all votes cast for zilean will not count. i'll read the votes.



first vote. zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


zilean. will not count.


carry on.

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i've been informed panzer is already out so good job team

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I dont find idols 0/10 realism drench wtf

yeah the zilean votes that say wentworth on them are so realistic

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kan sum1 cut shrinini oshsksosh'gabon next pls

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kan sum1 cut shrinini oshsksosh'gabon next pls

cut rocky

uphitlers to the left

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i mean i guess you could call me a game changer

sign my barrel sierra

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450. Kairi (gandalf) - Destiny Islands

[image not found]

YOU COULD GIVE IDOLS OUT AND YOU FLAKED??????? YOU FLAKED??????????????? WITH A FUCKING LEGENDARY BOX??????????????????????????????/ unbelievable

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hello friends! the survivor mafiascum rankdown google sheet has a bunch of new features!

Remaining?

is the full list of every character still in play

BySeason

is the rank of every eliminated character thus far, by season

Links

is your one-stop shop to every forum

Final List

is the bare-bones rankdown, from 479 to 1

Extras

has details of Idols played and still in play

CutsByRanker

has links to every single cut, organized by the person who cut them

RankersSeason

lists the impact each ranker's had on each season

Stats-S

has how each season's doing in the rankdown, including averages, cuts, and percentages left

List

is a full list of how the rankdown started, please don't touch it

in the next couple days we'll also hopefully have

Stats-P

for how each position, merge boot, first boot, and finalist cohort are doing

Stats-T

for how each tribe is doing (if you have an organized list of players w/ tribes, i would really love that about now)

ok so basically, don't touch it unless you're a ranker, but do feel free to look @ all times!!!
rankers please follow this procedure when making a cut, you're already basically doing this but i'm writing it down anyway

making a cut and updating the doc

1. make the cut you awful person
2. list that person in the byseason tab, in the lowest spot available for that season
3. delete that person from the remaining tab (PLEASE do not just grey out the cell, delete all text from the cell)
4. list that person in final list
5. if you can, put a link to your post in cutsbyrankers (use =hyperlink("[link]","[name of cut]"))
6. add 1 to the cell at the intersection of your name and the season you cut from in the rankersseason tab
6a. if at any point you see a "FALSE" on row 25 of rankersseason let me know
7. have a sip of water

if you play an idol please do this

playing an idol and updating the doc

1. readd that character to remaining if needed
2. delete that character from byseason and final list if needed
3. list that character, the person who cut them, and what position they were cut in, in extras
4. strike through the number and link to the cut in cutsbyranker
4a. increase the next number by 1 (so if you idol'd 444, increase 443 to 444)
5. increase the intersection of the season and your idol column by 1 in rankersseason
6. have another sip of water

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443. Agitha (Cybele) - Hyrule

Look, flaking is probably the worst. It just disrupts the game flow, it's generally bad, eugh. Sure, Cybele probably had good reasons, but there was so much potential in Agitha and for it all to peter out in a flake is honestly a bit more disappointing than someone who just flaked off the bat without that promise. So, time to go.

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i'm filing lawsuits in state and federal court

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Why, it if weren't for Agitha Navi/Epona never would have happened nearly as fast or as solidly! Also, PMs all about cheesecake. How could you say no to those?

i can think of many ways i could say no to that but i'm just your local rp hater never mind me

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guys we have to make these last until #350 guys

[Drench]

hello friends! the survivor mafiascum rankdown google sheet has a bunch of new features!

Remaining?

is the full list of every character still in play

BySeason

is the rank of every eliminated character thus far, by season

Links

is your one-stop shop to every forum

Final List

is the bare-bones rankdown, from 479 to 1

Extras

has details of Idols played and still in play

CutsByRanker

has links to every single cut, organized by the person who cut them

RankersSeason

lists the impact each ranker's had on each season

Stats-S

has how each season's doing in the rankdown, including averages, cuts, and percentages left

List

is a full list of how the rankdown started, please don't touch it

in the next couple days we'll also hopefully have

Stats-P

for how each position, merge boot, first boot, and finalist cohort are doing

Stats-T

for how each tribe is doing (if you have an organized list of players w/ tribes, i would really love that about now)

ok so basically, don't touch it unless you're a ranker, but do feel free to look @ all times!!!
rankers please follow this procedure when making a cut, you're already basically doing this but i'm writing it down anyway

making a cut and updating the doc

1. make the cut you awful person
2. list that person in the byseason tab, in the lowest spot available for that season
3. delete that person from the remaining tab (PLEASE do not just grey out the cell, delete all text from the cell)
4. list that person in final list
5. if you can, put a link to your post in cutsbyrankers (use =hyperlink("[link]","[name of cut]"))
6. add 1 to the cell at the intersection of your name and the season you cut from in the rankersseason tab
6a. if at any point you see a "FALSE" on row 25 of rankersseason let me know
7. have a sip of water

if you play an idol please do this

playing an idol and updating the doc

1. readd that character to remaining if needed
2. delete that character from byseason and final list if needed
3. list that character, the person who cut them, and what position they were cut in, in extras
4. strike through the number and link to the cut in cutsbyranker
4a. increase the next number by 1 (so if you idol'd 444, increase 443 to 444)
5. increase the intersection of the season and your idol column by 1 in rankersseason
6. have another sip of water

i have done some really hectic bonkers work over the past day and can now bring you:

Stats-P

which sorts by position

Stats-T

which sorts by the one hundred and eighty fucking one tribe compositions we've had in anon games*, and

Stats-U

which sorts by usernames for people who've been in at least 3 games (with some extra ELO vs rankdown comparison to boot)

the great thing is that those three are all automated, so basically, look your heart out, and don't touch otherwise i will murder you**

*if anyone has detailed tribe compositions for doctor who that'd be great because i spent five minutes trying to figure out how and what happened and i gave up. looking specifically for details of any tribe changes no matter how minor, excluding vote-offs ofc but including time travel vote-offs that result in a change in tribe composition
**if you're a ranker and you notice that your cut has struck the first blow against a category in any of the stats pages, feel free to put that cut where it says lowest member/placement/whatever. likewise, if you notice that any of the stats page rows has 0% remaining, feel free to slap what killed it off in the highest member/placement/whatever thing. if the latter happens, you can also go ahead and figure out the average of the group and put it in

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i have no uni assignments due for 6 weeks let me have this

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oh bud do i have news for you

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on phone soz

kirby. sdi. 14 posts in the confessional. like, 2 of them his. rip

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someone idol this PLEASE someone idol this what the FUCK

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i'm having palpitations. i've already needed defibrilating twice. my last will and testament isnt even finished

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Oh, and fun fact: this is the first time Elizabeth Warren has ever been saved by an idol. Just a little too late.

Will.

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we're nearly done with the first tenth everyone. good stuff

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I like that this ranking is about entertainment factor specifically.

Doing a ranking on gameplay alone would be extremely boring and tedious imo

i too love to act like spectator!me halfway through the merge in a survivor theory discussion

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[4:19:23 PM] Chill Nye the Netflix Guy: drench what did that post mean
[4:19:31 PM] Chill Nye the Netflix Guy: sry I'm dumb
[4:20:57 PM] Daniel: you know that part in every anon game where i start trying to Define How Survivor Works like an absolute ass
[4:21:06 PM] Chill Nye the Netflix Guy: ohh okay I get u fam

we found the dumbest ranker every1
(this is another joke)

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432. Cookie Dough (Ciara24) - Pretty Super Vanilla

"Wasabi said they're all voting for me. guess I'm not too good at this!!!"

you know i FUCKING LOVE NEWBIES because they come in and they're always so amped to play and survivor just. crushes them. god it's so depressing. this is a fucked game. anyway like cookie what is there to say about you cookie dough. your confessionals were sweet and you had no idea what you were doing. i love you

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She ended up confused with another player, Miranda, a lot due to avatar similarities and Miranda being the more memorable of the two.

[extremely twink with bony ass voice] get a load of this cake hunty!!!! [slaps ass bone]

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426. Shy Guy (Cybele) - Mushroom Kingdom

"Cleaning up the inactives it seems. Enjoy yourself in loser lounge" (Toadsworth)

look, shy guy did so much in this game. i think he started a thread about a tribe name. and, uh. and. that's. pretty much it. 2/10 would sleep again

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i disagree strongly with the tingle cut but alas i don't have an idol

no image or anything but basically, i'm cutting hammer bro from mushroom kingdom

i don't know why we've held on to this bloke for so long? there's really nothing interesting here at all tbh. like, you lost the numbers, and didn't really get anywhere towards stopping that. maaayyyybe you earn points for being the first anon boot like ever but like, what is there to work with here? love u

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this is good shit!!!

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my pledge: one cut a day this week; no more and no less

it's a busy week but i will provide one cut, the first is coming

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413. Strawberry (Salamence20) - Pretty Super Vanilla

"I didn't notice a change [in tribes]............."

controversial opinion: self-voting is literally the single most rude thing you can do in a game of survivor. you can't even be bothered to do the main thing in a game about voting? you take a spot in an already small game and u can't even be bothered voting???

m8

what makes strawberry different? ok well a few things. firstly salamence is just not a very interesting person to watch. sorry man but it's true and also you're banned. second you literally didn't do anything. this isn't a case of doge where it was like, you self voted and UGH but also had a major effect on the game. this is a case of strawberry? wow u voted a unanimous vote and then went out unanimously.

groundbreaking.

and it's pretty clear strawberry had no idea what was going on, and not in the clueless midna way where it's literally amazing and a trainwreck. i just mean in a boring, non-contributive way. not even a hint of alliances, nothing in the way of piquing anyone's interest, just a general bleh.

ugh bye

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This game was just before my time, so hell if I know if you had any sort of effect on anything.

this appears negligent

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miranda'd huh

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miranda lawson better be the fucking highest of the self-swap-fuckers or i swear to christ almighty up above

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406. Flamboyant Flint Roller (orcinus_theoriginal) - Names Are Hard

"idk if i've said this but i'm irrevocably fucked"

so we're at the point where we just can't cut inactives, just the generally eh people right? because flint is a generally eh character. like, name one notable thing. first boot, blah blah blah, no outbursts or anything like that, you know what the drill is

one thing that actually is kinda cool though is he replaced in so good 1 for having a go m8 now bye

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it's because people have different opinions

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399. LeBlanc (ActionDan) - League of Legends

"How I'm going to win?: By actively engaging everyone as much as possible as early as possible and then backstabbing when appropriate. However, I want to keep that to a minimum, and when it'll will make the most difference."

you certainly kept your active engagement to a minimum, that's for sure

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392. Yoshi (danakillsu) - Mushroom Kingdom

Koopa is my friend.
Blue Tribe is awful.
That is all.

literally where were you the entire game. you made 3 confessional posts. low-energy, much like this cut write-up,

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[googles which characters u were 2 target u]

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malphite's going far if i have anything to do w/ it

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super simple stuff: if 24 hours goes without a cut, the next person goes. miss two cuts and we might replace you as a ranker.

so with that in mind xof has not long

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super simple stuff: if 24 hours goes without a cut, the next person goes. miss two cuts and we might replace you as a ranker.

so with that in mind xof has not long

this should also read two in a row

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385. Dobby (Firewristedninjachicken) - Hogwarts

"I hope this the right place to cast my vote, but Dobby gives a vote for himself, as punishment, ooooh dear"

for SOME reason we get hints that something happened between ol' dobs and voldy but the edit (read: the confessionals) literally show 0% of it. like, voldy's angry. oh. great stuff guys. that's real great confessionalizing. anyway dobby contributed nothing was a bad pm'er and got booted bye

literally the only interesting thing is that he tried to vote for himself out of some weird krakt RPing thing. and y'all know how much i love RPing

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Dobby was someone I went to school with that I recruited to play and she didn't realize Survivor involved voting people out, so she just wanted to write fanfics with Stan

i am so proud of myself for making this cut huh!

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the winner gets a prize

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[banging pots and pans together] crazy please make our HUNDREDTH cut

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i don't get your kooky references

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this led to him being eliminated over Ralts, who missed the challenge but was somewhat more popular.

asdfasdf this still literally mystifies me 2 this day
yall know how cracked i am why yall keeping me around

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378. Carrie Underwood (ForWhomTheJellyRolls) - Battle of the Bands

"I wonder if Tove Lo and Of Monsters and Men lost my PM address. It's Carrie Underwood."

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Not being social with Mama and her Daddy, her tribe getting on without her
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith, also safety
It'd been a long hard week

this conceit of editing the lyrics to jesus take the wheel to tell the story of another character who just didn't connect with her tribe the way everyone else did is too much work for me at 4am but you can fill in the blanks on a rote elimination we've seen dozens of times before

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this led to him being eliminated over Ralts, who missed the challenge but was somewhat more popular.

asdfasdf this still literally mystifies me 2 this day
yall know how cracked i am why yall keeping me around

I mean, if they hadn't, our storyline wouldn't have played out properly, so I'm not complaining!

i was in the game a whole week and still managed to a) get an idol b) literally send an idol along c) get eliminated like that is its own type of crackiness

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Prepare your buttholes for a scaring like none other!!!!

who leaked my grindr logs

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372. Deerling (PrivateI) - Eon

"Everyone is so vanilla on my tribe, I hate it. Like, I love them, but I don't especially love or dislike anyone, you know?"

Deerling, you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be there till the end of time
So you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?<sup>1

1</sup>deerling was someone who failed to connect with their swapped tribe thus falling squarely into category a of early boots

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im bridgette

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i would never put bridgettsus one of god's actual real angels through that experience

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despite this plan making absolutely perfect sense

the seven words that define etu

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Dora had a silly speaking gimmick which was fun

the game's over you don't have to lie like this

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364. Alakazam (kdowns) - Seafoam Islands

"Also, I FORGOT TO RAGE ABOUT HOW CHARMANDER DIDN'T GET ELIMINATED!"

we all forgot, kdowns, we all forgot,

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:ooooooooooooo

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(((((((( but i loved corny

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Of course you loved him, he actually voted with you lol

please don't read me like this

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I'm going to class give me like half an hour you impatient fucksticks

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the survivor rankdown on reddit's lucky if it gets two cuts a day

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i was just shitposting d/w

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358. James Gordon Jr. (DeasVail) - Arkham City

"It's been really hard to keep up with this game recently (also typing up long things is slower) and I don't know if this will affect things, but for the moment I will try my best!"

[leaning in so my lips touch the microphone] dv i love you but evacs aren't top 350

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Chaffee next!

a reminder that if you do this i will literally fly to your house and slaughter you
chafee is top-250 at least

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then chafee is at least top 190

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Apparently Corinne listed her payouts on LinkedIn which is funny to think about.

an icon

anyway klick stole mine so I'll be along shortly but I'm at the passport office right now so please hold

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Drench where r u sl00t

delaying my post because you asked this

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to be fair if it weren't for me getting my passport today this would've been done by now

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Who needs a passport >.>

me in seven days

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r u coming back

no comment

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it got printed 5 minutes ago fucking have patience

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learn to read before i tell julie bishop you're a terrorist, or worse, a refugee

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351. Spencer (Narninian) - Expect the Unexpected

"I should have been disqualified from the challenge for misreading the rules and not making that clear.
I didn't have any sort of assistance on the answers that counted so I figured that would be enough."

"7 hours in and people apologizing for only sending 2 messages to me
ugh..."

riveting stuff!

"so I basically slept all day; so that combined with the fact I might be leaving the tribe is a great excuse for me to be a slacker with messaging."

incredible gameplay!!!!

i tried to find more good content from spencer but i failed so that + the modkill kinda explains this one huh!!

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I D O L S A R E B A C K
D
O
L
S
A
R
E
B
A
C
K

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344. Donkey Kong (SensFan) - Mushroom Kingdom

"A few hours in, and I've been approached by a short, fat, ugly man that no one likes, asking me to ally with him. Here's hoping

Russel

Wario continues his terrible play when it comes to the jury."

that was the only thing he ever wrote

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But it's a BAD trainwreck. It wasn't a fun train wreck to watch.

sorry cc for once i agree against you

[Drench]

thanks monica

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"It looks like it's TIME to meet everyone!"

smh why isnt he endgame

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339. Heisenburg (Narninian) - Names Are Hard

"Heard through PMs that because I haven't been making small talk or posting in spam threads I might be on the chopping block. I don't think I can bring myself to spam to save me, so I'll have to work harder to ingratiate myself through other means."

I've been tossing Heisenburg and Toby Fox in the same boat in my head for a while now, although I suppose Heisenburg was the more interesting of the two, considering he never wanted to quit and he was vehemently against any sort of small talk. He also told Simba and Jagger he had an idol during the round he got voted off. So that's mildly interesting.

Honestly, though, the guy was selected as the obvious first boot from the get go. Most talks of strategy seemed to involve "What happens after the Heisenburg boot?" He just wasn't enough of a presence to even be a factor in the game. I think Heisenburg's character was more entertaining in theory than it ever was in practice. As it stands, I think Heisenburg was more of a

potentially

entertaining character than one who actually delivered.

Also, I think Narninian had a much greater impact as Spencer, so I don't feel the need to keep Heisenburg much longer.

i have to think about this

[Drench]

upsettingly i have to decide that while heisenberg was incredible in PMs, those weren't in public view and can't really be considered part of his character without external discussion which is light

(((((((

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337. Toad (mastermind) - Mushroom Kingdom

"All I want to know is what you thought your biggest move you made in the game was. Try to make it short cuz I didn't bother reading everything else."

you come to expect certain things when we enter the jury phase. you know, like, deliberations, at least some discussion of your thoughts, that sort of thing, because this is a really important phase innit, it needs content to work.

as u can see, not really what happened with toad!! we basically know nothing about the kid. he's maybe a jury threat, according to the ftc, because he was likable, but like, is that it? and why didn't we get anything from toad himself? and why did he not even bother to read the ftc? arghghghghghghgh makes m3 m4d

[Drench]

BotB has zero bad characters left.

surprise! endgame is literally just botb with chansey/dragonite/tetra thrown in

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330. Dry Bones (TheBadOne) - Mushroom Kingdom

"Damn there are some people with post count over 25, how for do they do that. Or there's a lot more activity, or they spam like hell, hmm"

[extremely julia gillard voice]

I WAS OFFENDED

when we started cutting actually pretty decent characters before no-shows who have literally nothing in terms of character or engagement

I WAS OFFENDED

when dry bones was a late-game player with literally noooooooo thoughts to share in their confessional (although that's not the only thing to look at, which brings me to:)

I WAS OFFENDED

when the mushroom kingdom massacre didn't continue unabated because is there really any debate that most of the players here aren't characters but just shadows? that's gonna happen when the whole schtick of anon survivor hasn't really been used or established and the idea of confessionalizing isn't ingrained, but still: we have here over 20 characters who aren't characters but literally just numbers. it's not fun to watch a number and i'm not cutting characters before a number

here ends the annual celebration of the anniversary of the misogyny speech

(sorry tbo im not attacking u here just attacking how bad characters in this game generally are)

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I actually didn't cut dry bones yet because he was apparently voted out for being a jury threat and there's no indication anywhere else I saw that he was a jury threat

I thought that was kind of funny

yeah my philosophy here is if it ain't public it doesn't count which is why heisenberg must stay cut

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Quick question:

Only players with 3 or more games are included. ELO diff. is the difference between a player's ELO percentile and their average placement as the same, higher being a better performance in the rankdown.

Does this actually mean anything? It doesn't seem like there's going to be any result other than percentages going down as average placement gets lower/better.

it's only going to really mean something when literally this is over since everything's all relative to everything

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i.e. atm narninian's elo percentile is around 4%, but because there's only 3 averages done yet, his rankdown percentile is 75%

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323. Jenn (Cybele) - Expect the Unexpected

so my flight from melbourne left an hour late which was really frustrating; i had an exit row seat though so i could stretch a lot but that meant the on board entertainment screen was like, in the armrest which was not so cool. also i literally did not sleep at all. we got into lax like literally 15 minutes before my next flight left so they had to delay and rush and all of that and it was just hell tbh. like when i got on the plane i had another exit row seat!!! but it was the one with the massive bulwark of the door in front so my legs were so fucking cramped the entire time. literally so terrible. but i mean i made it in the end and my welfare got cancelled on me so i'm having to reduce all my spending but i'm fine

that was a story, and more interesting than jenn

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also yeah i'm finally done now that i've landed so like, back to business

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and with the next cut, we are a third of the way there

hype

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god im finally here

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316. petey piranha

you're getting a writeup later it's 10pm

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friendbat can literally get fucked

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i just travelled halfway around the world i will literally drive to both your houses because i'm on the same continent and fight you both

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i actually am running underbudget so far so idk watch this space maybe

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my visa waiver literally expires in january

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i refuse to tether myself to one (1) penis

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amongst other things

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Monogamy isn't prerequisite to marriage.

entering the states with the intent to practice polygamy is a deportable and inadmissible offence

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8 U.S. Code § 1182(a)(10)(A) is pretty clear about this

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my favourite part of the inadmissibility criteria is the one where its like "if you plan to commit terrorism you will be refused entry" like who on earth clicks yes to that question on the DS-160

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travelling on a J-1 makes you learn a lot about america's visa system

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all of it? that i want? seems socialist

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hi guys, sorry, i was in the ER all day saturday and also had an emotional breakdown yesterday. yay campaigns!!!

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ok time for the #controversy

309. Lzzy Hale (TheBreeze) - Battle of the Bands

.

lzzy hale more like lzzy bail. haha get it because she bailed. anyway like look. lzzy was fun to interact with? she certainly had the social chops to get to the merge, obivously. the problem here is three-fold and i will describe each of those folds in organic detail for you know

1) if you're asking people to vote you off, do us all a favour and medevac. that way someone else can go on the jury instead of you quitting and all. sry
2) a character needs character and while a lot of it's there in private, i can't use that in consideration. she is a good character! but enjoyable to read is not that enjoyable if you go back and redact everything as she's done
3) let's talk about the botb jury huh

i've been trying to figure out for a long time when the botb jury should start to be culled because the main two arguments here are a) it was poisonous and gross and game-damaging; b) it was full of actual character and real emotion and is a goldmine of content. personally, por que no los dos. there's a lot of gross jury stuff (me? saying that? its more likely than u think) but i think in terms of those two arguments, lzzy is amongst the most heavily tilted towards the former. her jury ploy didn't work, and she literally volunteered to be voted out. so i'm like, hm

anyway this is a cut that can happen now
F

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survivor was on you absolute goon

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302. Marco Rubio (PrivateI) - #2016

"AHGHGHGH."

<33333 privatei

except, unfortunately, marco's another one of those characters where it's just like, mid-game boot see you later. there is something slightly interesting to this in that rubio was voted out without a single eliminating vote cast against him (i'm not counting the second debate here), which is neat. but like, anyway. the thing with privatei characters is they're kinda like, kinda adorable, and maybe always a little bit just there. and that's not a knock because as you can see above, <3333333 privatei, but like, yeah.

and he didn't even get an idol. which sucks

p-edit: wow!! it's almost like i'm campaigning 24/7!!! crazy shit folks!!!!

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300. Ralts 2.0 (Drench) - Eon

id rather eat ass than do this
ok maybe thats not the best comparison

Drench, pumpkin, you know how much I love you, you know how much Ralts has to go. Ralts did very good with that Dora the Explorer Finds Immunity Idols with the help of her friend Oshawatt, outside of you know, actually getting to an idol first. Ralts just was not there like at all. Drench was in the middle of either the First or Second Great Passport Fiasco of 2016 so he was justifiably Away From The Forum. He was given a chance to make up for missing the first challenge just due to being generally chill and an alright guy and promising to be there for challenge 2. What a surprise. He's not there. We are very shocked. It's not a super easy vote, and it's a lot tighter than Zorua would have liked, that's for sure. At one point Oshawat had passed over his idol to Ralts and Ralts... passed it back? Very honorable I guess, and /I/ appreciate it, but why? Otherwise nothing happens with Ralts, and it's a typical story about how America really needs to stop severely maiming or emotionally damaging Drench every single fucking time he's visiting here like what the fuck.

first fiasco

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hi i'm v/la saturday through tuesday and thursday through friday so just pop that one in your pipe and smoke it

295. Julie Chen (T-Bone) - Names Are Hard

Chen: Welcome back bitches. Julie has just been voted off of Brodoku. Julie how are you feeling?

Julie: Well Mrs. Chen, at first I was sad and disappointed. No one wanted to give me a chance. Now I'm just mad.

Chen: Yeah gurl lay it all out there who are you mad at?

Julie: Everyone ya know? I mean look, I knew the deal on Brohio. I was the replacement, I know they are agreed before I even got into the game that they were gonna vote out the replacement no matter what. I missed several days in the game, I understand the score and would have done the same thing. Too bad they didn't vote me out first, because then at least I wouldn't have gotten invested in the game and wasted the last couple of nights trying to play.

Chen: And after the swap?

Julie: I thought things would be different. I'm gonna approach people of the other tribes, and see if we can't get a cross tribe thing going. We lost the challenge however, and a decision was made to quietly take me out. Too bad quiet isn't something these chatty-chatterbugs can do. That plan was immediately leaked (trust issues amirite?).

Chen: So what did you do?

Julie: I tried to build some rapport with my new tribe. Here I was subject to dismissal by Doge, ignored by HTTP, but I don't fault either of you guys for that, HTTP wasn't around, and Doge obviously wasn't interested in a new plan, that's fine I don't fault em for it. Dave, Frenchie, and Tommy I'm a little more disappointed in, I thought maybe we could build something. But Dave pleaded ignorance to the plan he obviously knew about, and Frenchie and Tommy didn't want to upset Y. It's too bad Y is in this tribe, I personally thought Frenchie and Tommy were cool guys.

Chen: Do you think you had any chance at all to stay?

Julie: The score was laid out to me, appease King Y or get voted out. So I had a long real conversation with him...real on my end anyway. From Y, and only Y, I was subjected to numerous backhanded insults and threats. I didn't get this blatant disrespect from anyone else. But I shut my mouth and took it on the cheek, hoping that maybe he'll see some benefit of keeping me around, eventhough I was so UNREASONABLE as to want to save myself in this game rather than banter over a Julie Chen joke. I mean there would have been time for that after I wasn't voted out, but nope I'm the unreasonable one for being more interested in saving myself, for being more interested in getting quick replies from people rather than writing a well thought out novel every time I wanted to convince someone to do something. I didn't banter the way King Y wanted me to, so he put the lid on everything. Told his allies to stop talking to me, lest he arrange they get voted out next.

Chen: Would you say Y is in control of this tribe?

Julie: Completely. He's an A-Type of person. He was a leader during our challenge, and he's a leader on this tribe organizing the alliance against Brohio himself and keeping everyone in line. When confronted with the idea that he could be seen as the de-facto leader by the rest of the tribe he responded with brevity and a threat. Maybe he has the hidden immunity idol in his back pocket? That's the impression I get for someone who is so bold in his attempt to control the tribe. But I'm sure he'll tell you guys otherwise when I'm gone, but no less than 4 different players told me the vote against me wasn't budging unless he budged it. Which is funny since I'd only expect that kind of blind loyalty from his old tribemates.

Chen: Is there anything else you'd like to say?

Julie: Probably. I don't fault 8 out of 9 members of this tribe for what happened tonight. I know I was asking a lot for people to draw a line in the sand and flip the vote when there was still 20 players in the game. Just know you've voted out a girl who would have been fiercely loyal to her allies, if only given the chance. I'd be great if you guys vote out Y the next time you go to tribal though. I'd personally appreciate it. I don't want to see him group back up with The Kid (who I gather was also his ally running things on his old tribe). Anyway I'm gonna vote him right now, so hey if everyone switches to him that would be cool too. At the very least I'll hand him a vote that could count against him later, so there's that. There's still 30 minutes or so left if you guys make the switch with me. On that note I apologize to HTTP for originally intending to vote him, sorry bro I was just trying to save myself ya know? Either way, thanks for your time.

you guys remember when reed fleming did that whole rehearsed ugly stepmother thing to missy and some people were like yas queen!! yas!!! and some other, normal people were like this is fake as fuck....ugly

anyway the former gets julie chen to here and the latter ends that

because, apart from this thing, was there really much to julie chen? i know there's been a lot of talk in our secret skype group where we all complain about peg being an insufferable dickwit as to whether julie should've gone ages ago, and tbh, i fought for her a fair bit, but i think now is a good place to end this. she was never really in control, if you wanna talk about game or whatever, but that's not the point of this, the point is whether julie was entertaining, and like. once again. public rants? nice. public rants that suck? let me sum it up:

[Drench]

SPECIAL POSTSCRIPT:

Just know you've voted out a girl who would have been fiercely loyal to her allies, if only given the chance.

like honestly zzzzzzz

[Drench]

UPDATE: "reed fleming" is actually someone i know irl, i was thinking of reed kelly lmao

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as a special gift to subscribers i have annotated julie chen's speech for your perusal

bit of banter

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i know there's been a lot of talk in our secret skype group where we all complain about peg being an insufferable dickwit

wow what a wonderful community

I dont even know where I've even talked about Julie Chen or anything. I wasnt even in NAH??

it was a fucking joke you nongs

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great post

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290. 2-6-8-1-7-9-5 (Betch) - Arkham City

i forgive you for quitting, but when people like tingle are going, it's time for you to pack up shop.

i'm drunk and it's nearly 4am so like lmao but like, what is there to say about someone that quits? "they lost the numbers" nah "they did xyz" nah like didn't even go to death row man. lame

and like, in the interactions, not even a cute post restriction. i mnea i literally loathe role playing so like, lmao, but like, ugh, caps?? ok

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i will not be available until wednesday

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guess who's back back again

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if klick hasn't gone by the time i finish breakfast i'll move

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283. Metang - Sky Pillar (Drench)

so this is honestly the most interminable part of the rankdown yeah? like, we don't have the egregiously bad cuts, we're not at the shining characters on the hill (shoutout to ben chifley), it's all a bit humdrum and "this person just didn't click and lost out". so that's what happened to meeting, but i'll try and colour it a bit anyway.

anyway so the way i've handled my characters is especially in the middle-range games i've been very spammy in the confessional which makes the character appear more impulsive and maybe even a little bit sidetracked than otherwise is real. and i think that's definitely at play here with metang because, absolutely, this is a case of Things Went Wrong Just Because, and i don't think that's really carried across here with metang. because metang has boundless confidence, he's all "ahah i'm in such a good position, everything is going well, look at all the children trying :')", and like, ok, whatever m8, you still got voted out. and it's not particularly endearing, and i think that sort of unformed, kinda messy, kinda not particularly well directed late pre-merge character belongs in a spot like this.

press f to pay respects

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(shoutout to ben chifley)

this is a criminally underrated part of my writeup thanks

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ani gets his ass into gear

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Gettin there! I know who I want at least!

come ON xofelf

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i love vaati i might idol this

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usually i'd rabble too but thanksgiving just ended give it 24 hours
(and then i'll post a cut)

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me? being hypocritical about making people make cuts?

you better believe it hunty!

give me an hour

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ok so garrett adelstein did not matter at fucking all in cagayan and yet The Rise And Fall Of Garrett Adelstein lives on forever in our hearts

qed

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anyway i can't believe elizabeth warren is this rankdown's denise stapley aksjdbfiausdbfiasudbf wait for endgame when it turns out there's like 27 intersecting deals involving her

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276. Nicole (

Klick

MIST LMAO ty cheery*) - EtU

"This mus' be soh bohring for you spectahtors! I don't really hahve ah plahn gohing fohrward, buht I think I'll try pushing R.C. since she keehps pushing me!"

much like the great state of pennsylvania, nicole was always going to disappoint me

nicole franzel, avowed meninist and slayer of icons. truly, a character for whom there is no redeeming. and yet, the etu incarnation, while not offensive as in real life nicole franzel first horsewoman of the apocalypse is, simply just can't be said to be that fun to watch! part of that is, yes, i loathe all forms of roleplaying whatsoever, and that's something that's gonna shine in all my cuts (also why i think many people--myself included--should be kinder on ani because each person brings their own criteria!!!!), and i think nicole's particular roleplaying or speech whatever or whatever the fuck youc all it i mean does it look like i give a shit, look. it's not good. it's not fun to read. i'd rather stab myself in the gut, and that's only mostly because i got a really bad rash there right now and it itches. i'm glad she dropped it, otherwise i'd be leaning towards offensive.

there is something to be said of the characters, and there are whole swathes of them, who play, don't do particularly well, fall in the pre-merge or early post-merge, and leave not much of a footprint. something to be said. but personally there is more to be said of the characters who don't leave a footprint for other reasons, and nicole is one for those other reasons, because nothing she did in terms of character, in terms of Entertaining Us, really leaves its mark.

one particular thing i do wanna touch on which, is a tiny bit iconic, but i don't think enough to get her any further (otherwise maybe i would've made this cut earlier huh!), is the hoh mess of cycle whatever it was, the first one i think, where she literally just. forgot to nominate. me on big brother. and that was a little entertaining!

but nothing came of it, and she just gamebotted afterwards, and. anyway, vale

nothing matters, all truth is relative, trump won, thanks a lot pennsylvania.

**this is from memory lol

[Drench]

I was your ally ;~;

expect.........the unexpected

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its worth noting that this was never supposed to be super quick, everyone is just impatient as fuck.

[extremely what's his name voice] that's a bingo

i don't mind how quick or not quick this goes, I Too want to get to the top 100 since that's where the real interesting shit is, and i'm also not opposed to block eliminations and thresholding. if there's support for the last bit amongst both rankers and observers then i can jury rig something together, finally putting my big vat of election knowledge to something useful

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you're a damn fool if you think i'm letting the spreadsheet die though

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oh it's not my turn

anyway in the interests of full transparency i need everyone to know that i'll be doing like two sentences max per cut until top 150 probably except in extreme circumstances
viva le quick cutting

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BOY HE BOUTTA DO IT
(me, im bout to do it, cut coming today)

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sorry i ended up watching ten episodes of survivor south pacific in a row
so boy he boutta do it.....tomorrow

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it's actually additional day today which is a public holiday so legally i'm allowed to ignore you and this for 5 more hours

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let's be contro

270. Barinade (ForWhomTheJellyRolls) - Hyrule

"So I see a path to F3 with Epona and Navi, but the thing here is it is probably going to end up with me getting 3rd place."

the master sword easily pushes both eldin and tetra into the top 50 at least, but it also drags people down, and what it did do was throw into sharp relief barinade as a character, and, hmm

the best characters to watch and the most fun characters for me personally are the ones that are on the ball or know that they're not on the ball, and barinade was neither. he was super certain he was fine and then he was not, and that's just not interesting to me, and an alliance throwing out their edna ma without even a struggle is not interesting to me, and unfortunately barinade loses out as a result because of that and because of eldin and tetra's sword mastery.

also he was in the chatzy and, ugh, the chatzy

i assume that's contro

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Edna ma <3

the fabric of our lives <33333

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also seasons greetings, merry christmas and happy holidays fuckos
tribe averages are now automated after four hours of crying at my laptop

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i loved around 50%
it started getting tedious when i had to start using indirect functions

btw there might be some wrong entries; 90% it's bad data (i already caught a bad misspelling of ozymandias which was throwing things off) so point it out and i'll saerch for it but the formula itself should b g

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[moves all of xofelf's faves onto my hitlist] you've made a fearsome enemy today x of elf

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fwiw i think the chatzy alliance core three of epona/navi/skull are all great characters i just think barinade is.....not
anyway is it ceph's turn i think it's ceph's turn

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wait do people think i'm mad because i'm not this is how the rankdown goes
aka skrew's post

anyway yeah it is xalxe

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I want to push, first and foremost, that this is supposed to be fun.

i agree, it's just that posts like this one have made the whole thing feel very vindictive from the start :/

i tried

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ok im alive for this rankdown again where the fuck is xalxe

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i have decided to deign this thread with my presence and just like, idk, cut every few days i don't even give a shit anymore about order

i'm the trump of rankdowns

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266. Shakira - Names are Hard

im not shakira

look there are literally hundreds of mid-premerge guys who couldn't fuck the spider when things got shuffled. please join me in pressing f to pay respects to this one

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and just so everyone knows, my goal for tomorrow is going to be to recreate the tier spreadsheet i had going so i can finally figure out who to press f for first at a much quicker pace
if this rankdown is just me and fucking reck until top 50 so fucking be it

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i think i've said more than once that i don't take pms into account
it's the equivalent of saying "oh but sophie clarke's interactions off camera totally make up for her toneless edit"

although let it be known that sophiesus earned her place in endgame

[Drench]

i'm happy with my cut