Spoil a Wish II

[Silverclaw]

Granted. Instead of a monetary cost, you now get smuggled to a random African country.

I wish for $10 more a day for the rest of my life

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. It's unfortunately not enough to help you buy a home.

I wish to kill Tucker Carlson and get away with it.

[Ethel]

Granted. He is lauded as a martyr and gets replaced by someone who uses his death to radicalize his viewers even further.

I wish to own the softest blanket in the world.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. It catches fire.

I wish I lived in Canada.

[Alianna]

Granted. I hope you like shoveling snow when it's -40°C.

I wish I wasn't addicted to mafia.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You are addicted to gambling and lose about $5,000 a month to the habit.

I wish my Internet worked.

[Korina]

Granted. I hope you like dealing with the FBI or CIA, or whoever deals with government hacks.

I wish I was able to maintain a normal sleep schedule

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. Too bad all the jobs you're qualified for that pay well are at night.

I wish I didn't get stressed out over money so easily.

[racefan12]

Granted. You get eaten by a grue and no longer stress out about anything.

I wish that this forum thread didn't exist.

[Silverclaw]

Granted. Someone necros the old thread.

I wish for a wish that came true.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. The wish that comes true is someone else's wish of your death.

I wish to take a vacation to Las Vegas.

[Ethel]

Granted. After a wild night that you can't remember, you wake up handcuffed together with Tucker Carlson, who is somehow still alive.

I wish I could do a perfect cartwheel.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You do a perfect cartwheel right off a rooftop and plummet to your death.

I wish to win the lottery.

[Alianna]

Granted. You win a million Zimbabwe dollars.

I wish I had a million Zimbabwe dollars.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You find yourself better off just having it exchanged for American dollars. At least they're worth a couple months' or so of minimum wage pay.

I wish to save more money.

[Ethel]

Granted. You may no longer spend your money on anything until you have saved up atleast a million dollars. Until then, you have to rely on the charity of others.

I wish to own a mountain lodge.

[vonflare]

granted, but there's already a mountain living in it and its not willing to move.

I wish I was a fundamental force of the universe

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You lose conscience and sentience as a result.

I wish I had a second cat for my current one to play with.

[Korina]

Granted! It’s a mountain lion. It’s incredibly friendly towards your cat and won’t hurt it, but the same can’t be said for you.

I wish I wasn’t stressed about work.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. You're stressed about your love life.

I wish I had faster download speeds.

[vonflare]

granted, but the additional speed is equal to your typing speed - the extra data is converted to a byte-based data representation and fed to you mentally, and will be recorded on your computer as fast as you can type it.

I wish for humanity to acquire the necessary technology for interstellar space travel

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. There's now such a thing as space rage. People upset at how other people are operating their spaceships take out their violence on them, with deadly results.

I wish to build my own house.

[Farren]

Granted. You have to build it from scratch, though. Better start planting some trees.

I wish for a slice of key lime pie and a calzone.

[StrangerCoug]

Granted. They're both stale.

I wish I earned a dollar a minute.

[Farren]

Granted. Inflation quickly moves to cover the gap and then some, leaving you with less purchasing power than you had before.

I wish for a post-scarcity, utopian economy.