I'm not sure there's an aim. Maybe to avoid pointless limitations? For me, there's a certain appeal in avoiding the maiden-mother dichotomy, but I don't think that's the founding principal.chaz wrote:What is the aim of a polyamourous relationship
Sigh. Just because I <3 you and whiners should sometimes get their way...ABR wrote:I don't want porn...I want Ythill's wife and their ex-lover...
Well, she knew from the outset how the situation would be, and it was her choice to accept or not. Considering it ties into a master/servant situation, it kinda makes sense that it's "one sided", but she did understand that before she submitted. What I guess I mean is if the situation is explicitly known that she's not to 'stray' (and doesn't desire to), and is also made aware that her master would play with other girls, and accepts all that, is it liable to stay stable?Ythill wrote: If it's okay with them I don't see why not. I think the key here is whether the girl in your example is free to do what makes her happy. If she feels like she's allowed to see other people but chooses not to, then I don't see what's wrong with it, except that she'll have to deal with his un-faced fears if and when she changes her mind. If she feels like she's been manipulated into a one-sided situation, then it's not healthy IMO.
Seems just experiencing relationships with people that don't have unneeded limits. I know with my wife, she wouldn't be keen on me growing a relationship with another women regardless of the intentions.Porochaz wrote:What is the aim of a polyamourous relationship as in is it just because you dont settle down with the one person, or is it a chance to do things you might not necessarily do or want to do with your wife?
Not to be ignorant of the situation, but I thought that was normally how master slave relationships worked?UncertainKitten wrote:Well, she knew from the outset how the situation would be, and it was her choice to accept or not. Considering it ties into a master/servant situation, it kinda makes sense that it's "one sided", but she did understand that before she submitted. What I guess I mean is if the situation is explicitly known that she's not to 'stray' (and doesn't desire to), and is also made aware that her master would play with other girls, and accepts all that, is it liable to stay stable?Ythill wrote: If it's okay with them I don't see why not. I think the key here is whether the girl in your example is free to do what makes her happy. If she feels like she's allowed to see other people but chooses not to, then I don't see what's wrong with it, except that she'll have to deal with his un-faced fears if and when she changes her mind. If she feels like she's been manipulated into a one-sided situation, then it's not healthy IMO.
Course, there are other components but they don't tie directly into polyamory.
Probably so. I'm relatively inexperienced. I'm just curious about the stability of said situation. It's probably fine though.shaft.ed wrote:Not to be ignorant of the situation, but I thought that was normally how master slave relationships worked?UncertainKitten wrote:Well, she knew from the outset how the situation would be, and it was her choice to accept or not. Considering it ties into a master/servant situation, it kinda makes sense that it's "one sided", but she did understand that before she submitted. What I guess I mean is if the situation is explicitly known that she's not to 'stray' (and doesn't desire to), and is also made aware that her master would play with other girls, and accepts all that, is it liable to stay stable?Ythill wrote: If it's okay with them I don't see why not. I think the key here is whether the girl in your example is free to do what makes her happy. If she feels like she's allowed to see other people but chooses not to, then I don't see what's wrong with it, except that she'll have to deal with his un-faced fears if and when she changes her mind. If she feels like she's been manipulated into a one-sided situation, then it's not healthy IMO.
Course, there are other components but they don't tie directly into polyamory.
why do you tie everything into your creepy fetishes? you're like NixonUncertainKitten wrote:Probably so. I'm relatively inexperienced. I'm just curious about the stability of said situation. It's probably fine though.shaft.ed wrote:Not to be ignorant of the situation, but I thought that was normally how master slave relationships worked?UncertainKitten wrote:Well, she knew from the outset how the situation would be, and it was her choice to accept or not. Considering it ties into a master/servant situation, it kinda makes sense that it's "one sided", but she did understand that before she submitted. What I guess I mean is if the situation is explicitly known that she's not to 'stray' (and doesn't desire to), and is also made aware that her master would play with other girls, and accepts all that, is it liable to stay stable?Ythill wrote: If it's okay with them I don't see why not. I think the key here is whether the girl in your example is free to do what makes her happy. If she feels like she's allowed to see other people but chooses not to, then I don't see what's wrong with it, except that she'll have to deal with his un-faced fears if and when she changes her mind. If she feels like she's been manipulated into a one-sided situation, then it's not healthy IMO.
Course, there are other components but they don't tie directly into polyamory.
Why does it matter to you? You're like a christfagCobalt wrote:why do you tie everything into your creepy fetishes? you're like NixonUncertainKitten wrote:Probably so. I'm relatively inexperienced. I'm just curious about the stability of said situation. It's probably fine though.shaft.ed wrote:Not to be ignorant of the situation, but I thought that was normally how master slave relationships worked?UncertainKitten wrote:Well, she knew from the outset how the situation would be, and it was her choice to accept or not. Considering it ties into a master/servant situation, it kinda makes sense that it's "one sided", but she did understand that before she submitted. What I guess I mean is if the situation is explicitly known that she's not to 'stray' (and doesn't desire to), and is also made aware that her master would play with other girls, and accepts all that, is it liable to stay stable?Ythill wrote: If it's okay with them I don't see why not. I think the key here is whether the girl in your example is free to do what makes her happy. If she feels like she's allowed to see other people but chooses not to, then I don't see what's wrong with it, except that she'll have to deal with his un-faced fears if and when she changes her mind. If she feels like she's been manipulated into a one-sided situation, then it's not healthy IMO.
Course, there are other components but they don't tie directly into polyamory.
1. Are you jealuous of this guy?Ythill wrote:If you have questions, feel free to post them.
Did you consider that he might be trolling these forums for possible future partners?Cobalt wrote: Why did you feel the need to share personal details about your life on an internet forum? Do you think this reflects poor judgment or merely an egotistical overestimation of the interest strangers have in your lifestyle?
Possible responses:Cobalt wrote: why do you tie everything into your creepy fetishes? you're like Nixon
Are you sure he wasn't?Yosarian2 wrote:Historical: Man, if Nixon had been into BDSM, he probably wouldn't have felt so emasculated and powerless that he felt like he had to bug a hotel room just to feel like he was in control of something.
Nah, Whether its honest or not I still don't like the idea of entering into a relationship. To use a metaphor, whether I get in by breaking in through the window or getting invited into someone's house, I'm not going to sleep in their bed and use their lavatory. Maybe its the comparison thing, maybe its the lack of absolutism. I don't know, if my problem was with honesty I'd also have qualms about cheating out of relationships, not just intoThestatusquo wrote:Cliquey, it would seem to me from your statement that, like me, your number one thing isn't really cheating, but rather "honestly," in this situation, and as has been pointed out by drunkychaz, there is no deception whatsoever, so I don't know that it can be labeled as cheating. I think YThill has been overall very honest: The top issues I see with his arrangement are the unspoken jealously that all humans feel when they see something that is in their mind as "theirs" being "used" or "possessed" (quotation marks because those terms are probably a little off) by someone else, and also the social stigmas that go along with such practices. I don't know that I would be able to make such an arrangement work, seeing as I can sometimes be a fairly jealous person, but if YT can get past that, then jolly good for him.
... Oookay...Cliquey wrote:What? You don't?shaft.ed wrote:Seriously, if you have to pee while you're in someone else's house you just hold it until you get home?
1. No, but I do envy his theme music.Adel wrote:1. Are you jealuous of this guy?
2. What kind of STD testing do you require from a partner? Are you worried about HSV-1 or HSV-2 or spreading HPV? What physical barrier devices do you use for oral with someone who isn't your primary?
3. Do you think that commitments of limited time duration are more compatible with poly behavior than "for ever and ever and ever"?
Not since you admitted you're a dude.Did you consider that he might be trolling these forums for possible future partners?
I'm not a fan of filtering mechanisms, though I've seen "artistic expression" work out as a good general one. I'm sure we've had this discussion.4. How much fun could it be to live in a 501(d) intentional community that used acceptance of poly values (like honesty and lack of "ownership" of another person's autonomy) as one of its filtering mechanisms?
I've pretty much always been this way at heart. I'm capable of being mono and have been many times for people I cared about but a fair number of those relationships ended with me getting cheated on, which is great for irony but not much else. There's been two times in my life I've started mono and gone poly. The first was with someone who waited a few months before telling me that she was bi and wanted us to date women, so that wasn't really my doing. With the current relationship, we both wanted to be poly from the start, but neither of us wanted even that 0.001% doubt about paternity, so we waited until Obi was born.ODD wrote:Ythill, how did you begin living in such a lifestyle?
ITP, TSQ has a polyamorous orgy with commas.Thestatusquo wrote:Cliquey, it would seem to me from your statement that, like me, your number one thing isn't really cheating, but rather "honestly," in this situation, and as has been pointed out by drunkychaz, there is no deception whatsoever, so I don't know that it can be labeled as cheating. I think YThill has been overall very honest: The top issues I see with his arrangement are the unspoken jealously that all humans feel when they see something that is in their mind as "theirs" being "used" or "possessed" (quotation marks because those terms are probably a little off) by someone else, and also the social stigmas that go along with such practices. I don't know that I would be able to make such an arrangement work, seeing as I can sometimes be a fairly jealous person, but if YT can get past that, then jolly good for him.
