Planet: MafiaScum 2 - Winter 2018

[chesskid3]

Nobody pmed me about this :/

Is too late to join?

[chesskid3]

Well someone better channel the spirit of chesstopia for me then Go ham on making a nice life for your citizens while being militarized, then go ham on military spending with the increased revenue and people a superpower and be callous and cruel.

[chesskid3]

Nation Name: Chesstopia 3.0
Region: Oekkezia (automatically filled in because you're replacing)
Secondary Resource: Oil (one of Oil, Iron, Natural Gas, or Rare Earths - you get Minerals by default because of your region)
Government: Right-Wing Monarchy
Optionally: Anything else you'd like to say about your nation. Can range from nothing to a two-thousand-word essay, although there's absolutely no need to if you're having trouble thinking of something.
Life in Chesstopia is life under a ruler who cares. A ruler who knows you and what's best for you so well that he doesn't need to even ask you, or anyone else before he makes policy decisions. All Hail King CHESSKID.

Do I have 10billion or 20 (i.e. did I miss a week). I'll put laws up when I spend my first money

OOC: I'm not going to be as insane as last game so you don't need to worry that I'm gonna kill you all. Promise <3

[chesskid3]

I don't even know I just got a pm from JDGA

[chesskid3]

Can approval go above 100?

[chesskid3]

construction and staffing of a Mhorkish Cathedral should he desire it.

Chesskid belches loudly through an email and asks what the beliefs of this church are.

[chesskid3]

Spending my money tomorrow

Chesstopia 2.0 would like to offer alliances and mutual defense treaties to everyone in whatever region my country is in

[chesskid3]

Hire a professional reader to read things aloud to Lord Chesskid

Pay him nothing, but make the position a very honorable one that many people will want to be

Hold strict auditions, and attempt to convince the prettier candidates to perform sexual favors on Lord Chesskid in exchange for the position

[chesskid3]

5billion on improving mineral mining technology infrastructure/equipment

5 billion on improving oil mining technology and infrastructure/equipment

Outlaw condoms

100 million advertising campaign to hang up half sexy posters and half posters about how having kids is important to continuing the Chesstopian 3.0 way of life

800 million on forming military orphanages around the country for unwanted children, or children who cannot be cared for adequately by their parents. The children will be well treated, go to school, etc, and upon their 18 birthdays they will join whichever service branch they would like, and are even allowed to take a test to attempt to qualify for an officer position.

100 million on an advertising campaign that the lives of the children in these orphanages are pretty good, and that it's ok to send your kid there if you have to. Use some sappy line that will get all the women weeping but also donating their kids

1 billion on upkeep

5 billion on ambulances, firehouses, roadway improvements, garbage disposal, public transportation, public parks, etc to make life great for Chesstopians young and old alike

1 billion on an elite force of royal guards, tasked with protecting members of the royal family. Every member of this squad is so loyal they would consider it the greatest shame if a CHESSKID were to die under their protection, and the greatest honor to sacrifice their life to save one.

Spend 200 million - declare September 19th a national holiday, CHESSKID day, and pay for celebrations in all the major cities

1 billion on military spending, a defense army of 10,000 troops

300 million on a fund for miners killed in accident's widows to be supported. Make it known that Lord Chesskid cares for all his citizens

Legalize Polygamy

500 million on constructing an elaborate and beautiful harem for Lord Chesskid, and stock it with 47 nubile young wives

Make it known that there is yet no first wife, and any wife wishing to be the first wife should try very hard to amaze Lord Chesskid....in bed

[chesskid3]

Lord Chesskid and his advisors are currently debating whether Mhorkist priests and churches will be allowed in Chesstopia 3.0

[chesskid3]

oh and

Call the bodyguards the Chesskid Service

[chesskid3]

What'd I do!

[chesskid3]

Lord Chesskid happily accepts

Raise taxes by ~2billion Explain to the people that this money is always going to be spent on the people of Chesstopia, to make their lives a better place. Lord Chesskid gives a televised speech and talks about the future of Chesstopia, and details the new public works projects that he personally ordered, and smiles warmly at Chesstopia. Behind him in the distance are all his wives, wearing just bikinis

[chesskid3]

Topos has heard of the great priority Chesstopia 3.0 places upon its people. The Council of the People has decreed that the hand of friendship be extended towards this great country.

High Chancellor Klazam

Arrakis seeks alliance with Ch3sstopia.

Accepted and accepted

[chesskid3]

We at the council would like to start an alliance with Chesstopia.

Sure
Chesstopia will ally with any nation that isn't a threat to their safety or the safety of planet mafiascum 2

[chesskid3]

Give N the middle finger

[chesskid3]

Send Klazam a check for One Hundred Billion Dollars that he can't cash because it has N's on it

[chesskid3]

Cancel the check without telling Klazam

[chesskid3]

Oh I didn't read the bit about technologies...
can you just apportion the money I spent on my people to infastructure/educations and healthcare I guess?

[chesskid3]

Chesstopia expresses concern over the "god of blood" part of this new nation

[chesskid3]

Oh my, um, we would love to talk to you at length about Armok. May we interest you in some convenient stone engravings extolling the virtues of Armok, God of Blood?

No but I would happily receive some private time with a few cute female...dedicated... missionaries

[chesskid3]

Moses parted the red sea once

[chesskid3]

Why can't chesskid

[chesskid3]

So
if I put more money into those orphanages and more money into an ad campaign that life in my orphanages is good
will that reverse the problem
or are the people who disapprove just assholes

[chesskid3]

And my money will go up more as the money i spent on improvoment of minerals and oil takes effect, right?

[chesskid3]

So
if I put more money into those orphanages and more money into an ad campaign that life in my orphanages is good
will that reverse the problem
or are the people who disapprove just assholes

People will generally disapprove if you do things that limit them, but they get used to the status quo eventually. Throwing money at it is the simplest solution to quickly increase approval, just not taking any other unpopular decisions for a while also works.

Putting more money in the orphanages will go to whatever you focus it on (military in case of the investment last turn), advertising it will go to approval.

Edit: Yes, your investments in mining will counteract the loss in economy.

Is my outlawing condoms even goign to result in that many more citizens and good stuff for me
or is just all bad stuff

[chesskid3]

like well trained military people from my orphanages?

[chesskid3]

ok
and the more I build
the more good soldiers i get?

[chesskid3]

All I want is a small powerful defense army of loyal people because chesstopia gave them shelter for their whole childhoods you know

[chesskid3]

All I want is a small powerful defense army of loyal people because chesstopia gave them shelter for their whole childhoods you know

[chesskid3]

$3 on a bag of popcorn for Lord Chesskid to eat while he watched the unfolding world drama

[chesskid3]

Given the recent allegations, no cathedrals will be allowed, until Chesstopia 3.0 has witnessed how these results play out

[chesskid3]

blkahblablah

open my pm please

[chesskid3]

Lord Chesskid slowly waddled towards his podium, his face grim and sober. He looked straight into the camera, into the eyes of Chesstopians everywhere.

I'm sure you've all been watching with shocked eyes at the news recently, of how corrupt and ill-intentioned other nations can be, and how quickly this peace we have between our countries turns to talk of war. It is with a heavy heart that I must spend much more of our great countries money on military and defense than I had otherwise planned, but I will go to any lengths, and do anything to keep my people safe.

Thank you, and good night, loyal Chesstopians.

And he waddled away, waddle waddle.

1 billion on upkeep

500 million on more funding for orphanges

3 billion on counterintelligence

Call them the CCC- the Chesstopian Covert Counterintelligence

3 billion on border security

If it's coming into this country, I want it searched. I want it questioned.

2 billion on further improvements to the mining of minerals technology

[chesskid3]

Border security includes like
border defenses like
turrets
and stuff btw

spend the rest on however many more troops that can buy me

(it's not much money. Just worried with everyone talking about war here)

[chesskid3]

Chesstopia likes the idea of the railroad, by the way. Funds are a bit tight at the moment, but we approve and will help with the planning.

[chesskid3]

And we* don't expect construction to get underway until we can afford to pay our fair share

[chesskid3]

I accidentally a word that made that sound agressive when it was actually friendly so I editted it back in

[chesskid3]

TS: Chesstopia is happy to pool the resources for the funding of much more profitable and efficient ways of mining minerals. We welcome your assistance and funding.

Pedit: Why is chesstopia so much smaller than the other countries

[chesskid3]

Hmph.

[chesskid3]

Where is he?

[chesskid3]

Oh yes the person who proposed splitting our research with us on minerals.

Do we want to do this inside of all of Okkezia(close enough)
and if not how much is fair for you to give me for us to share tech and then joint research? (slash have you spent any money researching)

[chesskid3]

@TS: sure. We should wait for a reply from/ask the rest of okkezia

@RP sure

[chesskid3]

Mail Robotnick some rogaine

[chesskid3]

ok time to square how much money we're all poolign for tech

either you guys can give me a bit and i'll share tech, or we can all pool tech and you guys fund the research this turn
i'm good with either

[chesskid3]

wait whats the difference between reservists and troops

[chesskid3]

which neighbors

[chesskid3]

oh i thought you were in my region?

[chesskid3]

ok time to square how much money we're all poolign for tech

either you guys can give me a bit and i'll share tech, or we can all pool tech and you guys fund the research this turn
i'm good with either

5 bil each by next turn seems like a healthy sum?

yeah spending 5 bil a turn combiend from the 4 of us on the tech, and maybe 1bil on building it each independently seems a great way to start
and im good sharing my current tech if just you 3 work out a way for the 3 of you to pay this turns 5 bil, and then we'll split it down the middle starting next turn?

[chesskid3]

Okkezia hurry up and agree to this research pact thing

[chesskid3]

agree to which, paying 5billion/3 this turn?

[chesskid3]

Ok sick.
someone summon orcinus and we're good to GOOOOOOOOOO

[chesskid3]

repeal ban on condoms

whoopdie fucking do

[chesskid3]

Establish the free sharing of mining technology among Okkezian nations, contingent on an entry amount of $1.67 Billion, which will be spent this turn on researching further improvements in mining minerals. Chesstopia will freely share its current level of tech with all nations who join the coalition

1 billion on upkeep

2 billion on building more mineral mining rigs and stuff

1 billion on improvements to the processes of mining crude oil

3 billion on education improvements

1 billion on more orphanages and public awareness that we'll take your kids and that if you're pregnant you dont have periods so you can save money and not buy condoms...

2 billion on public works projects

[chesskid3]

Every member of the coalition agrees to spend 1.25 billion per turn on research and share all tech freely and cooperate in research, also.
Spending additional money to upgrade old mining rigs/build new ones with the new technology is up to individuals.

[chesskid3]

More efficient/cheaper/better processes for extracting minerals

STUFF THAT MAKES US MORE MONEY

[chesskid3]

If anyone wants to add to that go ahead

[chesskid3]

Orcinus
it's 1.67b this turn, 1.25 every turn thereafter, so every turn we all get improvements corresponding to 5billion in total research
and we should probably spend a bit of money on our own _building_ these improved rigs we come up with with the seasonly research

[chesskid3]

shit no I'm spending on that next turn

[chesskid3]

forgot about that


oh wait i still have like 600k

600k or whateverz i have left on the railroad

[chesskid3]

also my approval better fuckign go back up
you told me it went up over time if i dont make controversial decisions
waited 2 turns of nothing, no rise
now i repealed the goddamn law
what more do you people want

[chesskid3]

I will put more in next turn
sorry im such a poorfag

but it's because inspire wanted to punish me for loving babies too much

[chesskid3]

4B on intelligence
2B on training soldiers
2B on education
2B on military technology (vehicles)


4B on intelligence2B on training soldiers2B on education2B on military technology (vehicles)

whats this old chum
why are you militarizing

[chesskid3]

dont you already havea bunch

[chesskid3]

oh ok carry on

[chesskid3]

Invite all world leaders who are not currently arguing to an orgy in Lord Chesskid's harem

[chesskid3]

I told Topos, as well as everybody else who asked in page 28 (chesskid), when he asked in the thread.

I will confirm this

I asked him if I could assassinate him for lots of drama and he said no
and then I no longer cared.

[chesskid3]

Bowser you want in the orgy?

[chesskid3]

okezzians, do you guys want to increase money into our research to take all those top spots?

[chesskid3]

Ok so lets do 2.5billion a turn then

2.5billion into mineral mining research pact

[chesskid3]

Okeezianss put ur money into the agreementttttttt

[chesskid3]

but 2.5b now yeah?

[chesskid3]

Invite Tor'Kin's mother out for a nice seafood dinner

[chesskid3]

Invite Tor'Kin's mother out for a nice seafood dinner

[chesskid3]

Never call her again

[chesskid3]

[chesskid3]

How would I die from that

[chesskid3]

Why would I die from having a lone Mhorkish senior citizen in my palace for dinner

[chesskid3]

It's ok at least you make the transitions between Chesskids seamless

[chesskid3]

OKKEZZIAN PPLZ BOLD UR 2.5 bILLION PL0x

[chesskid3]

2.5billion on our research pact on mineral mining improvements

[chesskid3]

just ts left to bold his money

we have a few days left to spend the rest of our money yeah?

[chesskid3]

1.4 billion into the railway
2 billion into increased security
1 billion on constructing and funding security for a Giant rotating middle finger with hollow "friendship" tubes in various places, and a mechanism to remove the tip of the middle finger and reveal the really big "friendship" tube inside the middle finger
2 billion on education
1 billion on upkeep/improvements
1 billion on orphanages
rest of my money on building mining rigs that are currently being researched

[chesskid3]

Legalize Polygamy

edit nvm I already did that

[chesskid3]

Legalize Marijuana but tax it at about the same rate cigarettes get taxed

[chesskid3]

Borrow $300 from the Silverlands bank to install an auto wiping toilet in Lord Chesskid's bedchamber

[chesskid3]

that would save me $300 I like this plan

[chesskid3]

so how awesome is my friendship finger

[chesskid3]

did somebody say drama

1 billion on upkeep

2.5 billion into research agreement

7.5 billion on missile technology, including evading defense systems, long range flight, multiple and various reagent warhead designs, and building said missles, along with more launch sites

[chesskid3]

A missile-heavy Chesstopia is a safer Chesstopia

[chesskid3]

Who wants to make me change the spending

[chesskid3]

ICBMs yes
Peacekeeping yes

[chesskid3]

I would never go visit another country for drinks when i have nubile women and their bellybuttons to drink from right here at home

[chesskid3]

I am cool fwiw

[chesskid3]

imagine if someone blew up mission control center for poor old Haj

[chesskid3]

Chesskid, do you want to start a joint mission to terraform a giant dick on the moon?


Chesskid, do you want to start a joint mission to terraform a giant dick on the moon?

yes.

You have the space technology and I have the explosives yeah?

[chesskid3]

I'm good for 2 billion, with my recent missile expenditure that should be enough to retrofit explosives to make a penis

[chesskid3]

2 Billion on engineering an explosive that will shape a dick into the surface of the moon

2.5 billion on research agreement

1billion on upkeep

3 billion on producing missiles

2 billion on building more mineral mining facilities

rest of my money into improving education

[chesskid3]

But if it were any other symbol I wouldn't be interested

[chesskid3]

what site events

[chesskid3]

will it be personal when I fire a missile at you

probably yeah

[chesskid3]

I don't know Mhork, do we?

[chesskid3]

Then leave well enough alone.

[chesskid3]

UPDATE ON THE PENIS MOON PLOX

[chesskid3]

no 1 curr

[chesskid3]

Ok would you like to blow up the moon instead?

[chesskid3]

sounds good to me lets do it

[chesskid3]

has upkeep spending actually been doing anything this game
because some people haven't been doing it and thye haven't like died so...

[chesskid3]

sry ur link doesnt work

[chesskid3]

sry ur empire appears to not exist

[chesskid3]

good luck with that world chopper not needing to refuel.

[chesskid3]

also the redacted was the # of missiles I have, as far as I can tell

[chesskid3]

DRAMA

[chesskid3]

Anything that flies over chesstopian airspace unannounced gets a missile fired at it

[chesskid3]

0 warnings

[chesskid3]

mine was also for unannounced

[chesskid3]

Chesstopians can never have too much friendship

[chesskid3]

rabble

[chesskid3]

loooooooooooooooooool

[chesskid3]

*innocent face*

[chesskid3]

i never liked that guy tbh

[chesskid3]

I would like the assailant to contact me so I can give him a bucket of flowers

[chesskid3]

hey maestro Mr. Din'Finaci insulted your mother
you just gonna take that?

[chesskid3]

the new temporary voice to the world

[chesskid3]

Chesstopia demands a formal apology for the mean things that were just said about its ruler

[chesskid3]

he's saying u dont want 2 get shot

[chesskid3]

overly defensive much?

[chesskid3]

how much
Obligatory #1337 claim ~JDGA

[chesskid3]

I have information I'll share for 500 million
money first, then we'll talk

[chesskid3]

So that "intelligence" that just leaked is about a month old, when the world was militarizing. Yes, I have missiles. I don't have much in the way of an army, unlike some of you nations with 140,000 troops. By your logic, I should be as worried about you clowns as you should be about me.

If anyone stopped to think about it for about 2 seconds, I'm not even in a war economy. I'm going to be after this turn now with this bullshit going on, but some cowardly nation is trying to spin INCREDIBLY old information.

DiplomatDC, it is recommended for the continued prosperity of your nation that you cease suggesting that anybody "take out" Chesstopia.

[chesskid3]

Actually only some of that information is even accurate. It's been 6 turns since those messages, folks. As of now I speak for all of Chesstopia when I say we have no intentions of starting shit.

As always, we will be the ones to finish it, however.

[chesskid3]

There were a few other parties, back when there were a few of us who had decided to research military technology for our nation's protection together who have since backed out. Either one of them sent the information, or have been compromised since they don't have the level of intelligence that some other nations do

[chesskid3]

Run an IP trace on the email

[chesskid3]

Ani and twistedspoon

[chesskid3]

I will be going to military mode. I still have no ill intentions towards any of you, and if it becomes clear that there are no threats to chesstopia, I will back down, but I am arming all of the chesstopian defenses this turn, I'm not going to be caught unawares. I am sure the Chesstopian people will understand why this is necessary

[chesskid3]

things that never bring peace:

1) religion

[chesskid3]

5Bn into recruiting soldiers


5Bn into recruiting soldiers

[chesskid3]

Technically Maestro started it

[chesskid3]

The world is filling up with people who can't be matched

[chesskid3]

I have 47 already

[chesskid3]

no my wives worship my penis


always, my raw egg friend

[chesskid3]

we did a good job stopping it it seems

[chesskid3]

the point he's making is that just because you declared yourself a world religion doesn't mean you should get free benefits like...having lots of spies inside our countries

[chesskid3]

so unless this is all cosmetic and there's actually 0 benefits for you from this, it's some serious bullshit

[chesskid3]

the truth at last!

[chesskid3]

write em up son

[chesskid3]

There is only one god and his name is R'hlloCHESSKID

[chesskid3]

Excuse me

[chesskid3]

K so DiplomatDC and I are now at war, correct?

[chesskid3]

Retaliate with the full force of Chesstopia, etc

[chesskid3]

DiploDC is the guy who sent choppers to eveyrones country
little did we all know he was spying on us to mark targets
already with the intention of war

I shot his plane down, how on earth he learned where my missiles were I don't know

[chesskid3]

but his planes were quickly shot down
booooooooooooooooooooooooo rng booooooooooooooo

[chesskid3]

my other 48?

[chesskid3]

You think Chesstopia has only 100 missiles

oh you funny

There is no limit to the number of missiles that I possess. They are Chesstopia's pride and joy, its lifeblood, its protection against assholes like DiplomatDC

[chesskid3]

omg dodgeball reference

[chesskid3]

lolnexus

[chesskid3]

I love how as I pointed out last week, Chesstopia's missiles are entirely for defense, and we are senselessly attacked, and we are still being treated as the warmongerer.

We will not forget this treatment

[chesskid3]

And Diplo, we will stand down if you recompense Chesstopia for the property you destroyed, and the lives that were lost. 10 billion should suffice.

You have until the first missile launches, after that it's too late to avoid our wrath.

[chesskid3]

"After the civil war, the country was determined to never let a war take place in the country again. The government has decided to pump more money in defense (although it claims it will stay neutral in any war), and will not attack unless provoked."

From the constitution of Meccha Terralies

[chesskid3]

Didn't the mod post basically say it wasn't true?

I'm sorry I have bigger fish to fry here

[chesskid3]

So according to you, we're supposed to allow a country to attack us, and not respond?

So if someone attacked you, you wouldn't respond?

[chesskid3]

Sorry, I wasn't even IN war economy at the time? I was going to war economy because I was concerned some jackass was going to attack me, and what do you know
some jackass attacked me.

So if someone launched a single strike at you, how do you defend? Someone comes and destroys your property and kills your citizens and then goes away, you don't show them why attacking you is a bad idea, and punish them, eh?

[chesskid3]

The Chesstopian missiles were aimed precisely at any known military target

People seem to love ignoring the part where chesskid doesn't kill civillians unless it can be avoided in any way

[chesskid3]

Propose Truce with Meccha Terraria. Pending acceptance, our countries will try to move forward from this regrettable misunderstanding that claimed the lives of service men and women of both countries, and look forwards to a brighter, happier future, and a time of mourning and rebuilding.

[chesskid3]

when do we get new weeks moneyz

[chesskid3]

have orgy with wives

[chesskid3]

lol

[chesskid3]

or
if we all put all over nations energies into developing nuclaer bombs
make the biggest one ever
and set it off?

[chesskid3]

looks like you're getting missles fired at you if he's still around when he gets them

[chesskid3]

Give a random citizen a night with one of my wives

[chesskid3]

Check him thoroughly for STDs first

[chesskid3]

how do i have less money than last turn income

[chesskid3]

You know extorting germany after WW I is what caused WW II, right?

[chesskid3]

is it sad i had to look up my country name to check that?

SAD FOR YOUUUUUUUU

[chesskid3]

Chesstopia feels that a United Nations should be formed to keep the world peace. While it is good that the nations of the world stepped forward to remove the threat from Elybria, such conflicts must be handled delicately, and the aftermath is important for reestablishing a lasting peace.

[chesskid3]

1billion on upkeep

rest on nuclear weapons

[chesskid3]

Chesstopia stands with Mhork and Amyr in support of the struggling Elybrians

[chesskid3]

We would rebuild, we would mourn our dead, and we would ensure the same could not happen again. We would not reap and sow more death with unreasonable demands.

[chesskid3]

Perform small nuclear detonation test in the remote desert

[chesskid3]

wat

[chesskid3]

can Iget the results of my nuke test or what

[chesskid3]

Can I get a written event or what

I posted it
musta been lost in the crash

but it was

Test nuke in remote desert

[chesskid3]

sell country to highest bidder

aka /out

[chesskid3]

nuke em

[chesskid3]

i believe