TIER 1 ~ THE GODS OF THE UNIVERSE; THOSE WHICH HAVE WOVEN THE FABRIC AND KEEP IT AS SUCH; COMPONENTS OF AN IMPORTANT COUNCIL CONSISTING OF THEM ALONE;
ARONIS
DOMAIN: Everything. By default, all are under him. Praise be upon him.
GUYINFREEZER
DOMAIN: Dimensions, and what their multiplicity entails. The gatekeeper of thought, and soul, and reality, from eachother. Praise be upon him.
INTE
DOMAIN: "." The importance of "." is known only to them. Whether or not this knowledge is not for mortals, or held for little justification, we may never know. Praise be upon them.
VONFLARE
DOMAIN: Reality and Spam. The existence of a significant duality between these domains is arguable, but should be discussed. Praise upon him.
*****
And while not part of the council, still considered a Tier 1 god, this being:
ANNADOG40
DOMAIN: The gods themselves. She is the first and the creator, and the one who has so blessedly bestowed this prophecy upon my shoulders. The god who made the gods, and allowed them to choose their domains. Praise be upon her. She knows, and sees all, but does not control all, that would be Aronis.
TIER 2: MATTERS OF MORTALS, AND THEIR MORTALITY;
Tier 2.1:
LADY LAMBDADELTA
DOMAIN: The undead, and those who never lived, and are not yet born. Praise be upon her, and her grace to those no longer tied to reality.
*****
Tier 2.2:
PAPA ZITO
DOMAIN: Sleep, dreams, and other related things. Praise be upon him, and every day, or else you may have bad sleep.
SLEEPYKREW
DOMAIN: The personal servant and underling of Papa Zito (praise upon him). Do not forget to honor him as you would any other god.
*****
Tier 2.3:
FIREBRINGER
DOMAIN: Of fire and of heat, and other related things, of action. The yang to mykonian's yin. Praise upon him, but only as much as you do Firebringer.
MYKONIAN
DOMAIN: Of ice and cold, of frigidness and other things, of logic, and of calculation. The yin to Firebringer's yang. Praise be upon them, but only as much as you do mykonian.
TIER 3: OF HUMAN CONDITION and EMOTION, ON THE MORE INTIMATE MATTERS of MORTALS.
COOLDOG
DOMAIN: The god of stupidity and other imbecilic behaviors; the god of hedonism and self-indulgence. Those who praise him may be looked negatively upon, but all have their place. Praise upon him.
ELBIRN
DOMAIN: The god of self-deprecation and criticism. Often seen as in opposition to CooLDoG, though this association is not well-founded. Praise upon him. (A personal favorite of this prophet.)
EQUNIOX
DOMAIN: The god of joy and friendship, and of storytelling. Those who worship them will be granted with all of these things.
KRASKA77
DOMAIN: The god of sincerity, and of love. Praise be upon her, and her choice ass.
THEBUTTONMEN
DOMAIN: The god of choices, and of morals, and especially of the combination of them. Praise upon them.
TIER 4: MORTAL ACTION AND PROCESS
ACCOUNTANT
DOMAIN: The god of accountability and responsibility and honor. Praise upon them.
ALCHEMIST21
DOMAIN: The god of lies and trickery. Many here may like this about him.
CHEETORY6
DOMAIN: The god of flailing, fear and impulsiveness. Can be dangerous to be around.
AERONAUT
DOMAIN: The personal servant of Cheetory6, as SleepyKrew is to Papa Zito. Do not forget Aeronaut either, as he is perhaps even more dangerous and unpredictable.
CHEVRE
DOMAIN: The god of ranking, and of overseeing the tiers of which I am describing. The tiers are subject to change, as well as who the gods are. Mortals are ranked as well.
RANDOMIDGET
DOMAIN: The god of mediocrity and failure. Praise him, maybe. Why would you?
SHAFT.ED
DOMAIN: The god of procrastination. Pray to him and you will become more distracted. I have experience with this.
ZACHSTRALKITA
DOMAIN: The god of slight misfortune and slight negativity. If you praise Zachstralkita individually, you might have a subpar experience. I warned you.
TIER 5: ON MATTERS OF THE INTERNET, AND MUCH LOWER THAN TIER 4,
THE QUEEN OF THEM ALL,
MASTIN2
DOMAIN: Goddess of the internet, and its gods as well. Reigns over all below her.
Tier 5.1
CEPHRIR
DOMAIN: The god of taste and identifying things for what they really are (terrible). Praise upon him.
*****
Tier 5.2
DAVSTO
DOMAIN: The god of puns, good, bad, and smelly. Praise him and your puns may be revered for all time.
MCMENNO
DOMAIN: The god of memes, and the classification and promotion of great memes. Pray to him or Hugh Mungus for many dank days in the future.
UPTOOLATE
DOMAIN: The goddess of cute things on the internet, and those odd little quirks that make you appreciate life. Pray to her, and while your blessings may not be large, they will be nice.
THE TIERLESS: THE GODS THAT ARE NOT WITHIN THE ABOVE DESCRIBED SYSTEM; BUT ARE NONETHELESS IMPORTANT; PRAISE THEM AS YOU WOULD OTHERS.
MTD
DOMAIN: The god of "bestgirl". The interpretation of this concept is in my head, but not describable. Important god, still.
NOT_MAFIA
DOMAIN: The god of weird, silly, stupid things, such as dancing cows. A court jester for the gods, if you will. Pray to him and you will be granted hijinks and tomfoolery of the greatest spectacle.
POSTIE
DOMAIN: The goddess of messengers and messages. Possibly had some relation to what I am saying... I will praise her anyway. Praise to you, Postie. The grandest praises to you.
ERRANTPHOBIA
DOMAIN: The god of poor planning and predictable failures.
OTHER IMPORTANT FIGURES IN THE RELIGION, OF A MORTAL OR SEMI-MORTAL STATURE;
SESQ
Notes: That's me. I am unaware if I am the original prophet, or extremely naive. I have found no trace of this religion so far, but I will deliver this message regardless.
Pray to these gods as much as you can, every day, and you will be granted with greatness in the eyes of them and your mortal friends. This message has been sent to me by the highest of gods, and I know that is true. Spread the word, my fellows, and may the prophets increase in number.
