The Bachelor Bots - All over - who won?
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The Bachelor Bots - All over - who won?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you bachelor Nick Viall! He’s on the search for love again with 18 viable partners! Also, because this is mafiascum, Nick is now pansexual and will screw anything and everything as long as it comes with a Fantasy Suite date. Should you choose to enter the fray, be sure to program your robot to compete for Nick’s love. Honestly, some of these characters on the show are really just lovebots, spewing out the same phrases and doing the same things just to get a few more moments than the 15 minutes of fame, so the theme applies!
The goal of this game, just like the television show The Bachelor, is to woo the bachelor and earn a rose during every round. If you are given a rose, you go onto the next round! If you fail to earn a rose, you will be eliminated and then go home to cry and eat four pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream with your fingers. Each contestant will also have a salacious secret which can be revealed to change their fate. Will you be the Corinne for revealing you have a Raquel? Will a pregnancy scare lose the rose, or will it make a contestant earn the rose?
Each round may consist of three different types of dates: 1-on-1 date, 2-on-1 date, group date. Each contestant will go on exactly one date per round. During the 1-on-1 date, if you prove to be desirable enough, you will earn a rose. If not, you will be eliminated. During the 2-on-1 date, there is only one rose and two contestants trying to earn it. On the group date, roses will be given to multiple contestants and one or two will be eliminated depending on how the 1-on-1 date goes. If you are the last one standing, you will earn the bachelor’s final rose and he will propose to you.
Because Nick is mostly a robot himself, he can be run with various programs to determine who will earn a rose, and subsequently, who will be eliminated. Also because Nick is not smart enough to create his own programs, each of you, as contestants, will make the programs. Each date will be controlled by a puppetmaster, who will run the program for that specific date. To become the puppetmaster, you need to have the highest stat that the date requires. The contestants invited to be on the date will be the ones who have the next highest stat that the date requires. (IE: In big brother bots terms - If you had the highest endurance for the two-on-two date, then you would nominate the next two highest with endurance and then run your program to decide which of them would be saved and the other is eliminated).
Players:
1. Preggobot
2. grumpy - grumpy's ex
------------------------
3. ForWhomTheJellyRolls - SwiftBot
4. Snakes - Meticulous Bot
5. Platinum Corinne
6. Drench - Kcin Kee
7. JerryArr - AverageBot
8. Save the Dragons - Notta Balloonwithafaceonit
9. Whitney who?
10. DLo
11. JerryArr - RatingsBot
12. Ryan Gosling
13. Beyoncebot
14. Aronis - Aurra Sing
15. pablito - Chris Harrison
16. Sassy pants Bot
17. Jasmine G
18. Token Exotic BeautyLast edited by pablito on Sat Jul 29, 2017 7:23 pm, edited 20 times in total.Sup, later.- pablito
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To participate in this game, you will need to complete the following stats for your profile.
You must also split 400 points amongst the 5 different stats. You cannot make any of the stats 0, and all stats must have a different number. Each stat presents as a spectrum, the first one listed is the primary stat, the second one listed is the secondary stat. The higher the number, the more it will fulfill the first stat; the lower the number of points, the better the secondary (unsavory) stat in the spectrum. Sometimes it helps to be a bit flawed, so some dates will require the secondary stat instead of the primary stat.
Rules:
Puppetmaster - For each type of date each round, there will be one player who earns the position of puppetmaster. The puppetmaster tries as hard as possible to get inside the bachelor’s ear (however you want to interpret that). Players often talk off the bachelor’s ear to try to get him to eliminate their rivals. As such, the person who is the puppetmaster for that specific date will then be able to run their program to determine who will earn a rose during that date, and as such who will be eliminated (if applicable). Earning puppetmaster will be based on which specific stat that the date requires. Typically the puppetmaster for 1-on-1 or 2-on-1 dates will not participate in that date. Can earn more than one puppetmaster each round.
Secret Revealing - Each contestant has a secret within their arsenal that can be used only once. However, secrets can go either way, they can either benefit a contestant or doom them. Secrets cannot be revealed if a contestant is on a 1-on-1 date. When a secret is revealed, the contestant will be bumped one spot. For example, in a 2-on-1 date, if the contestant was meant to be eliminated, a revealed secret will switch everything around and the contestant will then win the rose. However, if the contestant was meant to earn a rose, the revealed secret will switch it to where the contestant will be eliminated and not receive a rose. In group dates, if a contestant was the last one to earn a rose, they will then be eliminated; if they were to not earn a rose, they will be eliminated. If in the group date, the contestant was one of the first to earn a rose, this will not change the outcome. Multiple secrets can be used in a date.
The Corinne (Gossip Target) - Contestants love to gossip about each other because this is a reality show, and gossiping about each other is part of the contestant application. Each contestant is allowed to write a program to determine who will be the Corinne for the round. Being the Gossip target for the majority of contestants for the round will be a statistic that can be referenced in programs.
Programs - Programs must determine who receives a rose and cannot be formatted to specifically eliminate a bot by name. The program for the 1-on-1 date is special and is only applied to one player. As such, the program must qualify for at least 67% of the remaining players or otherwise a rose is automatically given to the contestant. (ie: formula that states “give a rose only to Beyoncebot” would not qualify as a valid program for the 1-on-1 date.
Programs must answer the below:- When/if to Reveal Secret to Bachelor
- Gossip target of each round
- Puppetmaster 1 on 1
- Puppetmaster 2 on 1
- Puppetmaster Group
1-on-1 date (only until F9): Highest in stat is puppetmaster, next highest goes on the 1-on-1 date.
2-on-1 (only until F5): Highest in stat is puppetmaster, next two highest go on 2-on-1 date.
Group Date: Highest in stat is puppetmaster, all remaining contestants go on group date.
If tie for picking a 1-on-1 or 2-on-1 date, then the one who has waited longer for a date will be picked. Otherwise randomized.
Below is a list stating the stat to earn puppetmaster in each of the dates.
Here are some sample program/submissions:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Spoiler:Sup, later.- pablito
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Let's be real, there isn't a contestant without an irritating laugh
"CC is very [whatever the equivalent of photogenic as it applies to videos]" - racefan12
"CC is an objectively attractive person." - Crazy
"You look like a happy version of Trent Reznor." - LicketyQuickety
"Do you practice sounding like you're high all the time?" - xofelf- pablito
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- ForWhomTheJellyRolls
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Is this still happening?"A hidden truth supports everything. Find it, and win." - Ramayana
"Nothing is true, everything is permitted."
Do you have the need for Mafia de Cuba?- pablito
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/Innnnnn will submit form when I get home- pablito
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Welcome to the Bachelor!
Typically the show is about several ladies trying to find ways to feel okay with being a Sister Wife of some sort, by sharing a future husband. Because sharing saliva with a man who is also sharing saliva with 17 other ladies sounds like the best vacationever. Well, this isn't the typical The Bachelor. Instead, we have a wooden, sad-sack, lovable loser Nick Viall going at his fourth time for love. Nick has returned for one last season to find his true love by completing his dance card (also to play VD bingo!). Will one of these bachelor bots be Nick's true love? (spoiler alert: no, he's incapable of hearing anyone tell him that they love him.)
The 18 contestants are waiting in their limos, ready to provide their first impression to Nick. Let's meet the first 9 now.
First up, is Beyoncebot. Beyoncebot is currently in the "global icon" industry as a small-business entrepreneur and she hails from "Why you even asking, boo, everyone knows where I'm from...heaven." She enjoys being a r.obbed g.oddess and hanging out with her BFF Adele. She's hoping that she can make a great first impression with Nick by asking the ever-important question "Why do female robots need breasts?" Now if she can't get Nick's attention there, I'm not sure what else she can do.
Next up is Swiftbot. Swiftbot is also currently in the "global icon" industry as a music catalog protester. She's originally from NYC and wonders every day why "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate." She enjoys hanging out with her BFF Kanye and building upon her squad. She's hoping to make an impression by showing Nick all of her awards that she rightfully won, and no one will ever contest, because it's so clear that she's the most iconic artist ever in the world, and therefore she's allowed to prevent her music from being sold based on her ethics codes. Nick really cares about these things; she's fairly certain he would take up the fight with her.
Next up is Averagebot. Averagebot felt that having the most normal robot costume would make the best first impression. Averagebot comes from Normal, Illinois and would love for everyone to show Nick the way to Normal. Averagebot is definitely Next to Normal. Averagebot is clearly what Nick is looking for. Being an accountant helps Averagebot too, since pretty much everyone in this forum is an accountant. Sexy.
Whitney? I think her name is Whitney? She's a contestant too or something.
Hey babe. Ryan here. Finding yourself on television and trying to understand what love has in store for you, that's honourable. You gotta find yourself, and I'm here to support you. So Nick, you're my boo, I want you to know that, and I think we'd be a great match. I hope we can go on a date where we feed each other cereal.
Meticulous Bot has no feelings. Maybe has feelings. Cannot wrinkle facial lines, but will use pearl cream for youthful skin and television executive mesmerizing. Meticulous Bot will ensure you will not leave your keys at home. But first, other contestants.
Next out of the limo is DLo. She's a small business owner who's in love with Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys. She's hoping that Nick can grow a kick-ass goatee like that. DLo's a good dancer. She got booty.
Penultimately, Notta rises out of the limo. Notta Balloonwithafaceonit is elated to be here. Notta comes from the Mile High City and serves the public as a pilot. There are whispers from the other contestants though that Notta is full of hot air and thinks too highly of themself. Only time will tell what Nick thinks of Notta though!
And finally is grumpy's ex. grumpy's ex is a career destroyer bent on destroying everything that grumpy ever touches. She hails from medevac island and clearly is not wife-material. She's so superficial that she made Dawn take out her teeth. grumpy's ex is still better than Lisa Welchel and her cat, but still, that's not by much, because grumpy hates them all, and if he hates them all, then that must mean that Nick would like them, because Nick is trash, and grumpy is the best, so if grumpy's ex wants Nick, then dammit, they deserve each other and they both don't deserve to exist, right. FMK huh.
Stay tuned for the remainder of episode 1 and the other half of the contestants.Sup, later.- Drench
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And out of the rest of the limos come the rest of the forgettable contestants.
jk.
The next contestant is very not forgettable.
In the first twist of the night, the next contestant is the host of The Bachelor himself Chris Harrison! Obvs Chris stares at the bachelors every single season, and is their BFF while they talk about manly man feelings, so this should not be a surprise.
The next contestant to come out of the limo is the Token Exotic Beauty. Coming from Tonga and also your wet dreams, Token Exotic Beauty is here in the contestant mostly so that the Mish Mash community will actually look at this mish mash game, because so few people actually entered. Look at the hot guy. Stay for the fun.
Also coming out of the limo, Preggobot. Maybe she got pregnant at the sight of Token Exotic Beauty, or maybe she got pregnant because of her genes. Either way, she's after Nick's heart and his sperm.
Next on scene is Aurra Sing, a Bounty Hunter from Nar Shaddaa. Does she have her target set on hunting Nick's heart? "I will drink your fear and spill your blood and my hate will scar the galaxy!"
Jasmine G, professional bachelor contestant, is a huge choking fetishist, and can't wait to choke Nick, but not in a violent way, because she's so falling for Nick and can see a future with him. But y'know, hasn't a girl ever choked you in a sexual way Nick? Because that's what I want to do with you. *awkward evil cackle*
Ratingsbot, just wants to please you, the audience, and she has been designed to ensure that you love this show. She also moonlights as a holo-television writer for Westworld. She'll do anything for the ratings!
Next out of their limo is Sassypantsbot. Because here a lot of people like wearing their sassypants.
Our next contestant is the prolific Platinum Corinne. Guaranteed to jump on top of Nick at any given moment, Corinne is here to win a man so that her nanny Raquel can have a break and Nick can be her man-servant. Corinne knows how to win a man, she's got a heart of gold, but she's platinum where it counts.
And our final contestant is Kcin Kee, a mactor/bartender/instagram model who's a WeHo resident. He love puckering up, and is really into sexy, good lookin' guys, and hey Nick ain't a bad looker himself. Kcin Kee jumps out of the limo and thinks to himself "I'd do him, he's a sexy m-fer".
So those are the 18 contestants vying for Nick's love (and his crotch).
Stay tuned for the first eliminations!Sup, later.- CuddlyCaucasian
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My favorite part so far is when Whitney"CC is very [whatever the equivalent of photogenic as it applies to videos]" - racefan12
"CC is an objectively attractive person." - Crazy
"You look like a happy version of Trent Reznor." - LicketyQuickety
"Do you practice sounding like you're high all the time?" - xofelf- pablito
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So who made the best first impressions with Nick?
1-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
2-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Group Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Before the dates start, everyone looks around and starts chatting with each other. Clearly one girl is looking for attention and everyone starts gossiping about her. Platinum Corinne tells everyone, "Hey, ya'll, if you got a problem with me, then come to me. I saw how you looked at me wrong Corinne. I know you're onto me Corinne. Oh, lol, that's me, yeah I got a problem with me, and yes, I deserve all this attention, look at me! I'm topless!"
Platinum Corinne is the Gossip Target this round.
At the 1-on-1 date, Nick asks Ryan if he's got what it takes to look good in a wrestling singlet. Ryan just gives a wink, and I think Nick knows he wants to give the rose before they even say anything.
Spoiler:
Does Ryan get the 1-on-1 rose, or will he be sent home?
Spoiler:
At the 2-on-1 date, Notta and Sassypants both go to the aquarium to talk to dolphins. Only the most social people talk about dolphins. If you don't like dolphins, then you're an awkward loner. My favorite animal is a dolphin. During 2-on-1 dates, only one contestant will get a rose and move on, the other one will be eliminated immediately.
Spoiler:
Who gets the rose?
Spoiler:
At the group date, everyone gets into sumo wrestling outfits and try to push each other out of the way to get some alone time with Nick.
Spoiler:
Who will get the roses?
Spoiler:
Anyway, onto the rose ceremony.
My first rose is for Meticulous Bot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes.
My next rose is for Chris Harrison! (would have earned first rose if he had not revealed secret) Will you accept this rose?
I'll have your rose anyday.
The next rose is for Swiftbot! Will you accept this rose?
*Smiles*
Another for Averagebot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes.
Aurra Sing, will you accept this rose?
For bounty hunters, yes.
Kcin Kee, sexyboi, will you accept this rose?
"Loud Moan."
Platinum Corinne, will you accept this rose?
Umm, yeah, what do you think.
Beyoncebot, will you accept this rose?
Yea boy.
DLO, will you accept this rose?
I love you Nick...
grumpy's ex, Will you accept this rose?
I Will.
Preggobot, Will you accept this rose?
Of course.
Whitney, who are you?
*shrugs*
There are three contestants left and only one rose. Will Jasmine G, Ratingsbot, or Token Exotic Beauty get Nick's final rose?
And the final rose goes to...
Spoiler:
15 contestants remain!
Eliminated bot programs:
Sassypantsbot
Spoiler:
Jasmine G
Spoiler:
Token Exotic Beauty
Spoiler:Last edited by pablito on Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.Sup, later.- McMenno
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Realeo Jack of All Trades
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I must be underestimating Bachelor all time long.
*Inserts Bachelor to summer activity list*"The debate on whether short multi postings or a long wall of post is good or not is like a debate on gun control--we would never understand each other and we have to make peace with it." -Realeo
I'm mabye a serious player, but I'm capable of joke. Ok?- pablito
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Lol, The Bachelor should be entered next year for Emmy for Best Reality Show Casting.
1-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
2-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Group Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Before the dates start, everyone chooses to talk about Corinne and how they don't like her. One of the girls was the loudest on the topic. She kept talking about how Corinne was too pushy, and didn't respect Nick, and only wanted to be on television to be famous. Well obviously, Corinne is the Gossip Target. And in a twist reveal, it's actually Corinne that was the loudmouth badmouthing Platinum Corinne.
Platinum Corinne is the Gossip Target this round.
At the 1-on-1 date, Nick asks Meticulous Bot if there's anything not racist he can say during this date, because, you know, Nick wants to get the racist part out of the way, if it's something we have to address at some point down the line. Just easier to be racist now instead of later.
Spoiler:
Does Meticulous Bot get the 1-on-1 rose, or will she be sent home?
Spoiler:
At the 2-on-1 date, Beyoncebot and Platinum Corinne have a romantic beach date with Nick sponsored by Hungry Jack's. Nick enjoys Hungry Jack's, hope of the Whopper. Only a thick, juicy whopper with mayonnaise could satisfy Nick. Platinum Corinne loves taking a bite out of big meat patties and washing it down with a refreshing non-product placement cola. No other will do, because "The Burgers are Better at Hungry Jack's". During 2-on-1 dates, only one contestant will get a rose and move on, the other one will be left empty-handed except to eat as much Hungry Jack's as she would like.
Spoiler:
Who gets the rose?
Spoiler:
At the group date, everyone gets drunk and keeps taking shots and more shots and more shots. This is nothing different.
Spoiler:
Who will get the roses?
Spoiler:
Anyway, onto the rose ceremony.
My first rose is for Ratings Bot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes.
Preggobot, Will you accept this rose?
Yes'm.
Mr. Sexiest Man in the World, Ryan Gosling! Will you accept this rose?
*Smiles*
Notta, your secret is safe with me. Will you accept this rose?
Yes. (Was originally 3rd)
Swiftbot, will you accept this rose?
You got me, bae.
DLo, will you accept this rose?
I love you Nick...
Whitney, will you
grumpy's ex, will you accept this rose?
Please don't kill me. (Was originally 7th)
Kcin Kee, sexyboi, will you accept this rose?
Hotness.
There are three contestants left and only one rose. Will Aurra Sing, Averagebot, or Chris Harrison get Nick's final rose?
And the final rose goes to...
Spoiler:
12 contestants remain!
Eliminated bot programs:
Beyoncebot
Spoiler:
Aurra Sing
Spoiler:
Chris Harrison
Spoiler:Sup, later.- pablito
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Cash me outside, how bah dah?
1-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
2-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Group Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Before the dates start, everyone realizes that Corinne can be nothing but the Gossip Target.
Platinum Corinne is the Gossip Target this round.
At the 1-on-1 date at Chuck E. Cheese, Nick asks Notta how many kids she wants. Notta says nothing. Nick says, "Yeah, I agree, there's nothing better than having a full family. I want you to birth out at least eight, that sounds great right," as he caresses the balloon. Notta squeaks in reply. Nick replies, "That turns me on that you want to have at least ten. Let's get that Asian kid at skeeball, I think he'd be a good one to start off with, tiny hands are good for cleaning bathrooms."
Spoiler:
Does Notta get the 1-on-1 rose, or will she be sent home?
Spoiler:
At the 2-on-1 date, DLo and Swiftbot have a sexy dance-off date with Nick. During 2-on-1 dates, only one contestant will get a rose and move on, the other one will be left alone on the dance floor.
Spoiler:
Who gets the rose?
Spoiler:
At the group date, everyone gets drunk and shares their sob story, which inevitably got them casted on The Bachelor, because normal, pretty girls don't get casted on reality shows.
Spoiler:
Who will get the roses?
Spoiler:
Anyway, onto the rose ceremony.
My first rose is for MeticulousBot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes, but first...
Platinum Corinne, Will you accept this rose?
Yes, boo.
Preggobot! Will you accept this rose?
No, but my fetus will.
grumpy's ex will you accept this rose?
Please don't kill me.
averagebot, will you accept this rose?
Yes.
Kcin Kee, sexyboi, will you accept this rose?
Hotness.
There are three contestants left and only one rose. Will Ratingsbot, Ryan Gosling, or Whitney Who? get Nick's final rose?
And the final rose goes to...
Spoiler:
9 contestants remain!
Eliminated bot programs:
DLo
Spoiler:
Ratingsbot
Spoiler:
Ryan Gosling
Spoiler:Last edited by pablito on Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.Sup, later.- pablito
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So now that there are only 9 remaining, one-on-one dates are no longer happening. If you want to get Nick's attention, you gotta go big or go home, like Kailah Casillas. Only two contestants will leave tonight.
2-on-1 Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Group Date goes to...
Spoiler:
Before the dates start, everyone realizes that Corinne can be nothing but the Gossip Target.
Platinum Corinne is the Gossip Target this round.
At the 2-on-1 date, Notta and Swiftbot have a classy date at Tchotchkes. During 2-on-1 dates, only one contestant will get a rose and move on, the other one won't have enough flair.
Spoiler:
Who gets the rose?
Spoiler:
At the group date, everyone gets awkward and just stares at each other, which just happens.
Spoiler:
Who will get the roses?
Spoiler:
Anyway, onto the rose ceremony.
My first rose is for MeticulousBot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes.
grumpy's ex will you accept this rose?
Please don't kill me.
averagebot, will you accept this rose?
Yes.
Preggobot! Will you accept this rose?
Yes'm.
Platinum Corinne, Will you accept this rose?
Obvs.
There are two contestants left and only one rose. Will Kcin Kee or Whitney Who? get Nick's final rose?
And the final rose goes to...
Spoiler:
7 contestants remain!
Eliminated bot programs:
Notta
Spoiler:
Whitney Who?
Spoiler:Sup, later.- Drench
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- Drench
he/him- crucial waukesha voter
- crucial waukesha voter
- Posts: 1834
- Joined: September 25, 2008
- Pronoun: he/him
- Location: crucial waukesha county
- Xalxe
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Xalxe He/himIt's pronounced "Xalxe"
- Xalxe
He/him- It's pronounced "Xalxe"
- It's pronounced "Xalxe"
- Posts: 4128
- Joined: January 20, 2010
- Pronoun: He/him
- Location: Bothell, WA
- Contact:
- Realeo
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Realeo Jack of All Trades
- Realeo
- Jack of All Trades
- Jack of All Trades
- Posts: 5238
- Joined: February 11, 2016
- Location: Indonesia
In post 23, Xalxe wrote:Notta was my fave this is awful"The debate on whether short multi postings or a long wall of post is good or not is like a debate on gun control--we would never understand each other and we have to make peace with it." -Realeo
I'm mabye a serious player, but I'm capable of joke. Ok? - Realeo
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