LSG Character Poll 2019

[Malkon05]

Hello GENERIC TRAINER, it’s been a few days. We decided to contact you first since clearly you don’t feel it was important to keep in contact with us since we gave you the Pokesubmarine. Whatever. At least you picked up the phone. So tell us, how is your Pokedex going?

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Hmm, well that’s certainly disappointing, it sounds like you’ve been more focused on improving and evolving your pokemon than actually scanning and increasing the database. Need we remind you that we gave you all this shit for free to do a specific job for us? It’s fine and all that you beat NATALIECANIHAVEYOURJACKET with jacket type pokemon, but it doesn’t feel like you are taking this seriously anymore. As such, we are taking back the Pokesubmarine until you can show us a true commitment to our cause.

Sorry GENERIC TRAINER, but even FUCKBOI has more pokedex entries than you do and he’s a fucking FUCKBOI. At least he’s Professor Meme’s grandson and not mine.

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Why don’t I, Professor Malkon, have any grandkids? That’s a terribad question GENERIC TRAINER and has almost nothing to do with the fact that I’m not into women in that way. Making children is just adding to the global population which will increase the amount of space, money and resources that would be needed to-

Wowee, I got carried away there. Let’s just forget about that. In the meantime we are going to boost your pokedex with some of the ones that FUCKBOI got. Here you go.

[Fluminator]

Lede was robbed

[Shadoweh]

DOWN WITH BROOKE

[Malkon05]

GENERIC TRAINER, it’s great that you reached out to us this time. Already an improvement from our last conversation. How has your journey been going?

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You defeated Gym Leader REEPICHEEP?! Wow you are serious about becoming the next pokemon champion aren’t you? I’ve heard nothing but scathing things about that Gym Leader. You must be pretty powerful to take him down.

And you’ve been working on your Pokedex because you want the Pokesubmarine back? Wow if that’s not motivation we don’t know what is. You have finally surpassed FUCKBOI’s pokedex which is impressive as fuck.

How did you manage to pull all of this off after your blunderous failure last time?

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You bought a bike? You bought one of those $1,000,000,000,000.00 money sucking bicycles? You know you could have probably gotten a voucher somewhere and just gotten it that way right?



Oh, you had a bunch of extra cash just lying around because we gave you a bunch of free stuff. That...weirdly makes a lot of sense. Way to be resourceful. So long as you keep filling up that pokedex, we are fine with anything. We will even give you the Pokesubmarine back, on the condition you don’t shut us out for days on end again, okay?

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Great, I’m glad we came to an understanding. We are so pleased with your progress that we will give you some tips on the next Gym Leader, SAITO YAMAGUCHI. We hear his weakness is anything American. The French Fry and Walmart type should do the trick. Work with that and keep up the hard work! We know you can do it!!!

[Aronis]

I honestly only care about the disney players. I want pua to win and pepe to get 2nd.

[Elsa Jay]

Even when I fail spectacularly I still am memorable enough to somehow get 26th place. There's benefits to being the crazy early out after all!

[Cephrir]

Failing spectacularly is actually a pretty solid technique for landing high-but-not-top on this I think

[Shadoweh]

You were literally the devil that everyone sacrificed ponies to avoid meeting again

[Malkon05]

Failing spectacularly is actually a pretty solid technique for landing high-but-not-top on this I think

Could not agree more!

[Bambi Jay]

Yeah, but i got into the top 20 again with Webber. So... Now I just gotta find a way to survive longer AND still be crazy.

Maybe 2020. Maybe.

[xofelf]

I always love your crazy. I may need to drop your crazy in the nearest fire pit because it might screw me over real fast, but I always love it so so much.

[Malkon05]

I haven't had the pleasure of working with your crazy. I need it in my life

[Bambi Jay]

Don't suppress the Chaos. Become one with the Chaos.

It's really fun to just let loose, ya know?

[McMenno]

I always love your crazy. I may need to drop your crazy in the nearest fire pit because it might screw me over real fast, but I always love it so so much.

I think it's kind of played out at this point

[Iprobablysuck]

Shame non anons don’t count. Saber/Mikan/Akane could’ve dominated the poll

[Malkon05]

Hello GENERIC TRAINER,

We see you decided to write us another letter rather than just call us. That’s fine we suppose. After reading the letter, we have come to the conclusion that you need to really step it up on Pokedex entries as we require you to get some of the more uncommon and even rare types in your Pokedex. What you have is fine, but this is where things get tough.

We know that you have other things on the brain, the news report about Team Pagong taking over the Elite 4 is quite disturbing. But we REEEEEEEALLY need you to keep working on the Pokedex first.

We do think it is impressive you not only defeated SAITO YAMAGUCHI, but also BOGGLETRON2000 which was the most powerful gym leader in the Mishmash Region. I do believe that concludes your Gym Challenge, which means normally you would be facing the Elite 4, but yeah I suppose you are going to have to defeat Team Pagong in order to do that.

Tell you what, we will give you a secret advantage if you finish obtaining the non-legendary pokemon in the pokedex. It should guarantee your victory, but we kind of need you to finish up the Pokedex first.

So there we go, once you get this go ahead and obtain the rest of the non-legendary entries, we will give you the item that will help you dismantle Team Pagong.

This seems more than fair and we cannot stress the importance that even though saving people from an evil organization that is holding them hostage and probably making them doing unspeakable things is a good thing, it’s even better if you finish your pokedex.

So get cracking! We will check in after.

Regards,

Professor Malkon & Professor Meme

NOTE:

Just an fyi, the last two posts for COTY 2019 will be around this same time tomorrow & the next day, so if you want to see them live that's when I'll be posting them, if not, then you can view them the next day <3 Sorry for any inconvenience, blame IRL.

[Haschel Cedricson]

Woo, Equestria makes up half the top 10!

[Awoo]

Regigas
Meltan

Coco Pommel
Granny Smith
Rainbow Dash
Derpy
Flim and Flam

Reepicheep

Ivan
Hailey

Hard to argue with though, equestria had a looot of great characters.

[Klick]

10. Hailey
9. Granny Smith
8. Coco Pommel
7. Rainbow Dash
6. Regigigas
5. Ivan
4. Flim and Flam
3. Derpy Hooves
2. Reepicheep
1. Meltan

[Malkon05]

GENERIC TRAINER! We just heard the news! You defeated Team Pagong using the HIDDENIMMUNITYIDOLSPRAY we gave you for cataloging the rest of the non-Legendary Pokemon that you were missing in your pokedex.



We watched the entire conquest of your defeat of Team Pagong

though we aren’t entirely sure why you decided to vlog about it while you were doing it, showoff

, it was quite impressive! You have come along way from the scrawny twink whose single mother sent him off so she could spend some quality time with the three men in town, to the very mature young adult who took down Team Pagong. You are more than ready to take on the Elite 4, though we also want to stress that now you have to get the Legendary and Mythical entries in the Pokedex and those are far and by far the most difficult to obtain. In fact, the 3 mythical Mishmash Pokemon have hardly ever been seen in the wild. We aren’t actually sure how you are going to do that.

In any case, we also know that FUCKBOI defeated the Elite 4 at some point between you defeating Team Pagong and this phone call...which is kind of ridiculously weird given that it feels like it didn’t happen all that long ago. Guess the champion is a bit of a pushover, which is fantastic news for you!

It’s time for you to show what you are made of GENERIC TRAINER. Be sure to stock up on plenty of MAXJURYVOTE Potions, they will probably help you in your conquest of the 4 toughest trainers in all of Mishmash: SOFTELF, PRIVATEIBALL, XXXRECK, and ZOROTTER. They are all formidable foes and will test your skills and bonds with your pokemon.

After you are done, please check in, we have leads on some of the Legendary Pokemon and wanted to give you a head’s start on getting on top of those for your pokedex entries.

[Malkon05]

For those who were expecting me to post the final 3 by midnight my time tonight, unfortunately due to medical reasons I am unable to do so. As much as I originally loved the idea of posting the final 3 on the 31st to finish out the year, I'm going to be posting it at some point this afternoon/evening PST. Thank you for understanding and for all of the wonderful feedback/comments about COTY this year, we are super happy it's been well received <3

[Malkon05]

Asssuming I'm not sleeping, I'll go ahead and post the final COTY post in about 2.5 hours from now.

[Malkon05]

Hello GENERIC TRAINER, we are here to congratulate you in person for your win of the Elite 4 and also of Professor Meme’s Grandson FUCKBOI. It’s impressive how far you’ve come in just a short time. Since you’ve made losers out of some of the most notorious trainers in all of Mishmash, that puts you in our epic hall of fame.

Sorry losers, we are going to register our new champion GENERIC TRAINER in our hall of fame that we conveniently have in the next room and for some bizarre reason we have to do it alone without you because you are all losers, we suppose.

Now, GENERIC TRAINER, please follow us so we can register you and your pokemon as champions of the Mishmash region.



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Welcome to the Hall of Champions which only champions get to visit and…

What’s that? Why did Professor Malkon just lock the door behind us? What’s this device that I’m holding? Well you see GENERIC TRAINER, this is the device that will help register you as a Champion!

Why not the computer in the corner? Bah, that’s old school technology that’s obsolete. See the cobwebs, no one uses that anymore. So just put this on your head and-

BEEEP.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Deep Breath.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

We did it Professor Malkon, we’ve finally secured the final piece to the Necromicon Dex that will call forth the devil and wipe out all of the Mishmash region. GENERIC TRAINER is now under our mind control and will get the final 3 pokedex entries that we require for the blood sacrifice.

Let’s finish this my dear Professor and finally see our plan come to fruition.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BEEP.

And that with that, both Professor Malkon and Professor Meme set GENERIC TRAINER on the path of complete world domination by completing the demonic pokedex. With much haste GENERIC TRAINER did just that by finding and cataloging the top 3 mythical Pokemon.





With the dex complete, the two nefarious Professors finally carried out their plan, summoned the devil and Mishmash began to burn.



Professor Malkon and Meme sit on their front porch in lawn chairs watching the fires burn all of the Mishmash region
Professor Malkon: Gee, Professor Meme, whatever shall we do today?

Professor Meme: The same thing we do every night Professor Malkon, take over the world!

Both: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The End(?)

Author’s Notes: See you all next year and congrats to Regigigas on Character of the Year!!!

[McMenno]

hey, check it out

[Awoo]

epic