LSG Character Poll 2021

[xofelf]

Look how mediocre I am!

[Shadoweh]

why did they do my gay metrosexual boyfriend so dirty

[Cheery Dog]

Wait Bilious managed the top half of Pantleon?

My being hungover act is better than I thought.

[Iprobablysuck]

holy shit i missed this

ranger and his 1000 pets will NOT stand for this slander

[Cheery Dog]

Can we have a list of who is actually excluded from these polls? I'm trying to work out who is left

Which I have then hit upon problems while doing so, as Francis Whitemore (ie 112th in this years poll) replaced out of the game, so I can only assume this means somebody is missing from the Wes Anderson poll.

Yet I cannot recall any of the other 4 replacements that happened within the last years games get eliminated yet.

[Cheery Dog]

Mod Edit: I had the list mostly compiled to show who is left according to my records and then Cheery posted. Rather than redo my entire post and have this confusing mess, I'll just post who remains from what I'm seeing:

Spoiler: Barely Survivor

Avocado

Bard

...Bees?

Bonobo

C-3PO & R2-D2

Dave Thomas, Founder of Wendy's

Grogu

Maggie Smith

Snow Leopard

The Tortoise & The Hare

Spoiler: Survivor of the Fittest

Cat
Dog
Eagle
Frog
Kestrel
Lion
Moth

Spoiler: Pantheon

Athena

Bilious

Cerberus

Hades

Jesus

Ma'at & Hathor

Papatuanuku

Persephone

Phobos & Deimos

Spoiler: Wes Anderson

Foxy Fox
Madame D.
Margot Tenenbaum
Oracle
Richie Tenenbaum
Sam Shakusky

Spoiler: Three Houses

Dimitri
Dorothea
Edelgard
Lorenz
Petra
Raphael
Shamir

[Malkon05]

The above edit came from me to clean this up so it wasn't as confusing. It also is not reflective of final placement, just by order of game hosted and within each game alphabetized.

[Cheery Dog]

So to answer my question, and potentially anybody else asking the same thing, that's Eloritu and Max Fischer who are not on the poll.

and I think the other important detail I learned from writing it up: prejury players left include 1 Barely Survivor, 2 Fittest, 1 Panthelon, 2 Wes Anderson and none from three houses.

[CaptainMeme]

Chapter 7: Obligatory Boat Chapter

CaptainMeme: Welcome back everyone, and welcome to the worst Let’s Play of all time. In today’s chapter, apparently fights can happen anywhere in fire emblem including on top of boats. I guess that’s a little Pirates of the Caribbean, but I’m trying to imagine taking horses across wooden planks and fighting on top of them and I’m having a hard time seeing it.

Malkon: Yeah but it creates for interesting strategy, especially if the boat changes position at any time on the map.

CaptainMeme: That just sounds annoying, what happens if it does move and the bridges go away?

Malkon: …well the units, unless they can fly or cross water, get stuck in the place until either they are rescued or another bridge appears near them.

CaptainMeme: So you are telling me that a unit on a horse would sit in water drowning and yet somehow not actually drown and be able to hit things from their spot until they are rescued?

Malkon: That is how the mechanics of this game work.

CaptainMeme: That’s incredibly stupid. Next you’ll tell me that you can recruit a pirate.

Malkon: I mean…

CaptainMeme: Wait seriously? *talks to the pirate that has a name and not just “pirate” as the sprite* Uhhh wow why can you do this? Why would any self respecting pirate leave their pirate ship and join a random crew of shipgoers?

Malkon: Probably because they are looking for a bigger booty?

CaptainMeme: Okay I’m trying to be serious but I have to be honest that is making me chuckle.

Malkon: Anyways, so yeah the units that have the best mobility on these chapters are the winged characters because they can fly above the water. Pirates usually do okay also because they can traverse the waters.

CaptainMeme: I see. That is kind of interesting. But I’m also noticing that there’s a bit of a bottleneck situation happening on these boards for the rest of my units. Which I guess makes sense since I wouldn’t expect someone to be able to crawl over each other to attack the enemy. But it is making my life incredibly difficult because I normally like to spread my units around.

Malkon: That’s part of the appeal of these kinds of chapters is that it introduces a new strategy that you have to maneuver around. It also-

CaptainMeme: There. I’m on the other ship. It wasn’t too bad when I just made my strong units plow through them.

Malkon: Huh, who knew that you would actually do well at this. You’ve had a lot of evidence to the contrary.

CaptainMeme: *grumbles* I’ll show you contrary.

*continues to go through the chapter*

Malkon: Okay so now you are getting close to the end of the chapter. You are going to want to be careful because the bosses on these particular chapters usually end up being more powerful than you’d expect.

CaptainMeme: I don’t need help from a weeb like you!

*three units die barely doing damage*

CaptainMeme: What the heckin heck?

Malkon: I toooooooooooooold you.

CaptainMeme: This is bullshit! These are some of my strongest units. What did I have to do nothing but focus on two units the whole game so that they are swole af?

Malkon: I mean you don’t HAVE to do anything *rolls eyes* Anyways you’ll find that that your magic users might be more effective. While the bosses are tough they usually succumb to low magic resistance.

CaptainMeme: Harry Potter to the rescue! *Sends all magical units in until the boss dies* That was a little harder than the last few chapters.

Malkon: *flips ahead* just wait for the next one.

CaptainMeme: What does that mean?

Malkon: You’ll see *smirks* in the meantime enjoy this wonderful in-between chapters music.

Spoiler: #39-#31

[Malkon05]

Chapter 8: Always Choose Dessert Over Desert

CaptainMeme: *shows up with a plate of pie*

Malkon: Oh okay I’ll bite, what’s going on?

CaptainMeme: I was told there was a dessert chapter coming up so I’m trying to get in character for it. Plus who doesn’t love pie, it’s delightful!

Malkon: So I think there’s been a bit of a mix up. The chapter that is coming up is actually a desert chapter, not a dessert chapter.

CaptainMeme: Well whatever I’m still eating this *takes a bite*

Malkon: Sure, I don’t care, I just don’t want to get anyone upset when it turns out there’s no actual chapter about desserts.

CaptainMeme: I’ll give you your just desserts for this horrible misunderstanding.

Malkon: Just make sure they are pie.

Captainmeme: Anyways, so now that we are clear on what kind of chapter we are doing today. Let’s get started. *boots up game* okay so we have to go to this desert place to find “The Fire Emblem” *gags* to defeat the demon king. Like if it was this easy to find this thing, why wouldn’t the demon king have already gone in and smashed it?

Malkon: Maybe there’s some anti-demon force field or something? All I know is that you’ll probably get some sub-standard explanation for everything at some point.

CaptainMeme: Okay so we are here at this desert that takes up the majority of the map. There appears to be…bandits. How original. *groans* it’s always the fucking bandits with these chapters. Apparently they are trying to kill me for reasons. Why are there even bandits on this desert island?

Malkon: You know, that’s a great question. I guess they’re just protective of their territory?

CaptainMeme: I mean I probably would not want to live in a desert, but these bandits I guess have other prerogatives.

Malkon: No one rules this territory, so it’s likely they enjoy the freedom that comes from being here.

CaptainMeme: I guess that makes some sense *grumpily eats pie* but whatever okay so now I’m getting tutorials about how to move in sand? For the love of god, this game loves to hold your hand while you go through it, doesn’t it?

Malkon: Well when your strategy is to try to capture demonic pokemon, I’m pretty sure you are the target audience for this specific tutorial hell.

CaptainMeme: …shut up. *eats more pie*

Malkon: So yes, you move very slow and sometimes there are hidden items. That’s the big new thing. But only horse and armored units are slow, pretty much everything else is mostly able to travel fine. Thieves and mages are the best units to move along.

CaptainMeme: I get it, heavy units sink. That makes logical sense for the first time since this anime nightmare began. I still would rather have the dessert instead of the desert. It’s tastier.

Malkon: Can’t argue with your logic there.

CaptainMeme: Damn right. *gets through and the thief picks up an item* Ummm what is this?

Malkon: Oh that? *looks and sees Member Card* That’s a nifty little item that allows you to access secret shops! They have items you wouldn’t normally get in any of the standard shops.

Captainmeme: So it’s sort of the Black Market of Fire Emblem?

Malkon: That’s not a horrible way to look at it? It could be more seen as like “because you are premium member you get special perks”.

CaptainMeme: And why can’t you get this from just shopping at the store? Is that mean Anna holding out on me?!

Malkon: No I- *sees CaptainMeme’s face* Yes. That meanie Anna is holding out on you. But now you have the keys to her secret stash.

CaptainMeme: I knew it!

Malkon: A regular detective *suppresses a snort*

CaptainMeme: I’m going to show her the next time I see her!

Malkon: You do that.

*CaptainMeme goes through the rest of the chapter and after being angry at sand for a bit, he finally manages to mop up the rest of the map*

Malkon: Good job you did it.

CaptainMeme: I’m going to to finish my dessert now. Fuck deserts. Enjoy some music while I go eat.

Spoiler: #30-#21

[Noraa]

ego

[Skelda]

Avocado was a top five character of the year for me. Easy 10/10. He deserves better.

[Cheery Dog]

All the hydrae have gone?

[Noraa]

Avocado was a top five character of the year for me. Easy 10/10. He deserves better.

BONBON WAS ROBBED

[Noraa]

Absolutely ROBBED

[Awoo]

Avocado was a top five character of the year for me. Easy 10/10. He deserves better.

Agreed, I don't know what happened there.

[Silverclaw]

I'm pretty sure there we five better characters in that game.

[CaptainMeme]

Chapter 9: Leveling Up Is Weird

Malkon: Welcome back everyone. It looks like we are getting closer to the end! Want to talk about it CaptainMeme?

CaptainMeme: *looks grumbly*

Malkon: *tries not to laugh* Okay well CaptainMeme just got to the big plot twist where he got the Fire Emblem (™) and then it got stolen and one of his characters permanently died. He’s not exactly the most happy about it.

CaptainMeme: Well what’s the bloody point of this entire game if we are just supposed to lose a unit that we’ve put so much work into?!

Malkon: Well you see…

*cutscene plays where powers transfer to the unit’s sibling*

CaptainMeme: This…is dumb. Like none of this would really happen this way. All of a sudden a person is just the exact same as their sibling? This is ridiculous.

Malkon: Yes, because so many things in video games make sense.

CaptainMeme: *sigh* Okay fine you have a point. But still this is silly. I liked that character. Plus now I have to go retrieve the Fire Emblem (™) again. I’m just kind of over this whole game. This chapter looks impossible too.

Malkon: Ah I see they are introducing ballistae in this chapter. Perhaps a certain someone could help you answer your questions about how they work. *winks*

CaptainMeme: nononono I already can’t afford the damage they did last ti-

*Loud crashing noise as GoddessSupreme48 comes into the room*

CaptainMeme: *sigh* Okay fine. Welcome back GoddessSupreme48.

Xofelf: IT IS I, GODDESSSUPREME48, THE SAVIOR OF-

Malkon: Yes yes let’s plays, we get it you are all knowing. Just teach n00bslayer about ballistae and call it a day.

Xofelf: …SO LET’S JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER HOW BALLISTAE WORKS? BEFORE I RESPOND YOU SHOULD KNOW I’M SORT OF LIKE A GEENIE YOU ONLY GET THREE TOTAL QUESTIONS AND YOU’VE ALREADY ASKED 2.

CaptainMeme: Yes just answer the question so I can get a final quote from my insurance.

Xofelf: FINE! SO BALLISTAE IS A TERM THAT HAS PRESENTED ITSELF IN SEVERAL WAYS OVER THE COURSE OF THIS SERIES. SOMETIMES IT’S A MOVABLE UNIT. SOMETIMES IT REPRESENTS A SPECIFIC PLACE ON A MAP. IN THIS CASE, IT IS AN EMPTY SPACE WITH A LONG RAGE BOW THAT AN ARCHER CAN OCCUPY. THIS WILL GIVE YOU LONGER RANGE AND ALLOW YOU TO TAKE OUT ENEMIES SAFELY FROM A DISTANCE.

CaptainMeme: Neat.

Xofelf: WELL I GUESS MY WORK HERE IS DONE GOOD LUCK WITH THE REST OF YOUR LET’S PLAY! I HOPE IT GOES WELL!!!! GODDESSSUPREME48 OUT!!!!!!!!

*flies through the ceiling*

Malkon: Well, that’s that. Let’s get on with the chapter now that you know that.

CaptainMeme: Yes let’s. I’ll just move here and then *unit dies* What the bloody hell?!

Malkon: Looks like you aren’t the only unit who can use a ballistae. *smirks*

CaptainMeme: I’m going to fuck some shit up.

*goes through a few more units before finally taking out the ballistae*

Malkon: Nice work, oh look! There’s a recruitable unit!

CaptainMeme: Oooh nice spot! *goes to recruit them and then squints* What the hell there’s only like 6 chapters left in this game and this unit is only like level 5?!

Malkon: *grins* This is what we call an “Est Archetype” which means a low level unit you recruit towards the end of the game. These units tend to be pretty great, but the amount of work to make them great isn’t often worth it.

CaptainMeme: Pretty sure I don’t need this unit *moves them to the back*

Malkon: We shall see if that is a good choice I guess.

*CaptainMeme moves the units to the castle portion of the map and as they enter the Lord classes up*

CaptainMeme: I was trying to figure out how the fuck to get him classed up, however once again why did this wait until we only had 6 chapters left in this game?!

Malkon: This is actually pretty common in the series and the lords usually don’t class up until late in the game.

CaptainMeme: This game is weird. Like I’ve been at level 20 with him for like 15 chapters. I think it’s weird how they have to wait until they can level up…or wait until 6 chapters before the end to appear in my party. Leveling up is weird in this game.

Malkon: I can see how that might be the thought. It looks like you are pretty much home free though so rather than bore the viewers with more gameplay, here’s some more music.

Spoiler: #20-#11

[Aronis]

did yall literally just whitewash my jesus???????

[ambic]

Pixelated Dimitri! Have a mango my friend.

[Awoo]

Jesus can be depicted as any race, it's church teaching.

[Korina]

I am so relieved I don’t have to write a speech, but also so happy with that placement and st. dev

[xofelf]

Can't always have culturally accurate Jesus, Aronis. Sometimes you gotta remind people of all that Renaissance art.

[Gypyx]

I am so relieved I don’t have to write a speech, but also so happy with that placement and st. dev

mandatory round placement score speech

[Haschel Cedricson]

Did somebody say we are washing Jesus?