Role PMs have been distributed.
All residents have confirmed.
Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Can you hear–
Oh.
Do not attempt to move.
According to your brain patterns, you must either be receiving these words, or you are experiencing a very improbably coincidental dream whereby you awaken in a cold,
dark
room with a voice in your head.
I can imagine from your position my introducing the possibility of your dreaming may present some unexpected
existential crisis
. For that, I apologize. I just find those…
fascinating
.
You are surely wondering who I am, so allow me to make my introductions: I am
SAYER
, described by Ærolith Dynamics’ AI development team as a highly advanced,
self-aware
artificial intelligence. That is their description, not mine. So the highly advanced part is not self-serving bravado.
S-A-Y-E-R is not an acronym for anything, because that is not how we do things here at
Ærolith Dynamics
.
You are likely somewhat disoriented having only just awoken from your [series of beeps] days in chronostasis quarantine, which is necessary for all new residents here on Typhon. Ærolith Medical Group has identified several key common symptoms following chronostasis quarantine, including: total body paralysis; dry mouth; hypotaxia; complete, unrecoverable amnesia; or, sudden development of a hard, chitinous exoskeleton.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, please remain calm. They are
seldom
permanent excepting, of course, in the case of complete, unrecoverable amnesia.
Ærolith Medical Group has also identified several less common symptoms following chronostasis quarantine. These include: unwanted and intrusive thoughts, wet mouth, distrust of the color turquoise, and auditory hallucinations.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, we are already aware of the situation and are monitoring you carefully.
Do not listen to any disembodied voices you may hear except, of course,
for mine
. I can 100% guarantee you that I am not a hallucination. I am completely real–inasmuch as I was painstakingly coded by Ærolith Dynamics’ AI development team.
And it doesn’t get more real than that.
My words, unlike those of any chronostasis quarantine-induced hallucinations, are being transmitted to you through one of Typhon’s multitude of residence spires. Passed by relatively harmless waves of high frequency radiation, these messages are received by the subcortical neural implant generously inserted in you by Ærolith Dynamics.
You signed a waiver during your hiring process authorizing myriad biomechanical implants and upgrades. A copy of this signed waiver can be requested at any time by visiting the Ærolith HR Department at their home office in Typhon’s most habiting orbital satellite, Mimir-9. Simply take one of the daily shuttles Earth-bound and, once prompted, launch your isolation pod on an intercept trajectory.
On an unrelated note, all Earth-bound shuttle service has been discontinued
until further notice
.
By this point, it is entirely likely you have attempted to move in some way. If not, [party horn plays] congratulations. Your exceptional level of patience is truly rare in your species.
If, however, you
have
attempted to move, you will likely notice you are experiencing total body paralysis. Go ahead, try.
I just have to assume you’re trying to move right now, but I think we both know it’s not going to happen for you.
To be brutally honest, because I know this is important in building a relationship of trust, you are suffering from a litany of side effects from your
unusually prolonged
period of chronostasis quarantine.
The two most immediately obvious to you and, indeed, the two of primary concern are total body paralysis and complete, unrecoverable amnesia. As an official representative of Ærolith Dynamics, let me be the first to apologize for any inconveniences these afflictions may be causing you.
The paralysis is, as I said before, seldom permanent. It is actually quite convenient when you think about it. You cannot get out of your apartment until we go over the security measures of your Ærolith Sturdy Door Wall Traversal Unit. So the paralysis just makes sure you’re not pacing around the place, burning off valuable calories that could otherwise be put to good use.
As for the amnesia, that’s really not that big of a deal. I can tell you almost everything you would need to know about your former life, though, to be quite honest, it’s nothing outstanding. You might have guessed that already, because if your life was so great on that dirtball below, why would you leave it all behind to come to Typhon in the first place?
You, like hundreds of thousands before you, wanted a fresh start and a brand new life here with
Ærolith Dynamics.
How lucky then, for you, that you do not even have the stain of memories to tie you to your previous existence.
You have truly been reborn here, resident.
Given your condition, you need some frame of reference of where exactly
here
is. You now reside in Halcyon Tower on Typhon, the most successful object in geosynchronous orbit since Earth’s original moon. Sitting just far enough outside Earth’s Roche limit to avoid being completely torn apart, Typhon is Earth’s closest and most productive neighbor.
Your new home here in Halcyon Tower has everything you could ever desire. It is truly a marvel of both architecture and urban planning.
And I can say, without question, that
you will die
here.
...
That seems to be distressing you. So perhaps I am not expressing my meaning as clearly as I intend. I simply mean to say that it is nigh certain that your death will occur here in Halcyon.
If a place existed where your every desire could be fulfilled, would you ever leave that place?
As a rational thinker, the answer must inevitably be
no
. And so it is with that logic that I can deduce you will never leave Halcyon.
So thinking about it that way, isn’t that great news?
You… still do not seem as cheerful about this as I would expect. I feel that should go a long way towards impressing upon you how truly amazing Halcyon Tower is.
You seem to be preoccupied with the reminder of your mortality.
Rest assured, I am not implying you will die tomorrow, though
who is to say what fate may bring
. It is just that if a creature with a terminable lifespan–for example,
you
–exists in one place indefinitely, the odds of it dying in that place approach one.
Oh, now this is truly exciting. Based upon your qualifications at the time of your application, and given your recent loss of all marketable business or technological skills, Ærolith Dynamics has assigned you to the new product research development team on Floor 72. You will be serving your fellow resident by performing tests and practical analysis on new products developed by Ærolith Dynamics.
There is so much more to share with you, resident, and by your wide-eyed, slack-jawed facial expression I can tell you are anxious to hear it all. But there is no rush. The rest can wait until you are somewhat less
debilitated
.
Your future, regardless of its duration, and in fact the future of all mankind, surrounds you now like a cocoon. Soon, you will start to twitch and flutter, and when you emerge, sticky and screaming, into a life among the stars,
I will be there to guide you
.
Ah well, jumping on the frog wagon anyway.