Scummies 2016 - CEREMONY!

[Scummies]

The smouldering ruins grew ever further behind Dwlee, as he trudged away from the remains of the ceremony building. Every step was a reminder of the mundane life he had once left, and now had to return to. A reminder of what he had lost. Of Scummers and of friends he was leaving behind… and of one particular Scummer Bot.

He broke into a run, wishing he could tear off his Mafiascum T-shirt, wishing he, too, could forget.

Dwlee crashed into a figure and fell to the ground.

“I’m so sorry-” He abruptly trailed off when he saw who it was.

Beeboy, staring down at him, half curious, half concerned. “Hi, sorry! Are you okay?”

“Um…” There was so much Dwlee wanted to say, but he knew there was no point. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

The Scummer Bot helped Dwlee get back on his feet. “So what are you up to? You’re the first person I’ve seen on this road so far.”

“Ah… well, you see… there was this awards ceremony, and a lot of stuff happened, and now I’m leaving. The building’s in ruins now.”

Beeboy stopped walking. “Wow! You know, I woke up in ruined building too, and I think there was also an awards ceremony? We were probably in the same place! Say, you could probably help me remember…”

His eyes flickered down, looking at Dwlee’s shirt with the Mafiascum logo emblazoned on the front. “What… happened to me…”

Beeboy could feel his eyes well up with tears.

“Dwlee?”

[Scummies]

Accountant’s fingers danced around the abacus, which he still insisted in using for complex calculations just to keep his mind sharp. Zoraster sat in his chair, glowering, while Thesp sat in the corner with his hand over a button labeled TIGERS.

“How much, Accountant? How much money did we make?”

Accountant paused for a moment to silence Zoraster, then continued their calculations. Zoraster continued to mutter to himself, but he had no choice but to wait - Accountant was the single most gifted Accountant the world had ever seen. They dedicated their entire life to the trade, even getting their name legally changed to Accountant the Accounter, and had become such a legend that kids were dressing up as Accountants for Halloween. So, he waited.

Accountant frowned.

“Is it bad? Is it really bad? Oh god, please tell me we made something from all of this work - at this point, I’ll be happy if we’re two hundred dollars in the black.”

Accountant shook their head. “Nope, way worse than that. Thanks to Reck’s last minute interference, you’ve lost millions of dollars, not including the millions more that you’ll lose from the countless number of lawsuits from dissatisfied customers and countries whose structures have been compromised by your rampaging robots. Now, I’m no lawyer, but -”

Zoraster slumped in his chair. “But I am, there’s no way in hell we’re winning any of those cases.”

Thesp prepared to press the button, but Zoraster held his hand up.

“We can’t just approach this situation as a loss, can we? Are we really going to reset everything like we usually do? There has to be another solution!”

Thesp shook his head. “Zoraster, we failed.”

Accountant nodded in agreement. “The President of the United States is possessed by a murderous robot, you’ve hemorrhaged money at an impressive rate that you will likely spend you and your children’s entire lives halving it, you’ve toppled several stable governments and put the world on the brink of another World War. The only good thing to come out of this is probably

All My Scummerbots

, but even that’s on a decline; everyone knows that Infinity would never leave Kagami, even for CreatureX.”

“And Dwlee.” Zoraster rose from his chair, smiling. “That child and his robot was pretty much the only good thing that’s come from all of this. Strip the robot of his powers, plant him in the school, let them keep their memories. That way, we don’t have to look back at this ceremony as another colossal failure.”

---

Mith’s Reality Tigers roared with pleasure; they were typically only allowed from their cages once a year to erase the humans' mistakes, if that. They devoured time itself; to the humans, it seemed like time went backwards, allowing them to take back egregious mistakes, which had made them more ambitious, more stupid.

However, time could not simply be erased; it was stored, and every time Mith’s Reality Tigers ate a reality, they grew stronger as the memory of mankind’s mistakes rested in their stomach. One beautiful white Reality Tiger turned to their leader, the Queen.

Is it time, my Queen?

It is not yet our time, my brother. But we are much, much closer than we have ever been before - our time to take back what was ours is soon.

[RadiantCowbells]

You will regret killing me off.

[mhsmith0]

You will regret killing me off.

no bah posts allowed sorry

[Scummies]

House Belwynn ruled over The Heartlands, a fertile valley cradled amidst jagged mountains that cradled these lush plains against the northern shore. To the north there was naught but cold salt seas and rumour of ferocious aquatic beasts. The Heartlands were surrounded on all other sides by towering mountains that were largely impassable save by the most seasoned of mountaineers, except in a half-dozen navigable passes through the heights. The people made a simple living, focused on the development of the town, the safety of their families, and the preservation of all that they deemed right and just. Temperate and mild, summers were unimposing and snowy winters were brief yet delightful. Roads were built, schools were established, farms prospered. The people were loyal to king and kin. The farmlands, once tough and unwieldly, finally yielded great harvests under the tireless hand of farmers across the realm.

House Belwynn worked tirelessly to preserve the safety of its realm and the future of its children. The Royal Science Academy was established in the name of advancement; the Heartlands Military was formed in the name of defence; the many guilds were sponsored to encourage the growth of trades beyond farming commodities. From the palace of the Royal House Belwynn, high overlooking The Capitol, the entirely of the Heartlands glowed in the fire of the setting sun. Long years of toil and peace had favoured The Heartlands. The blue banners of House Belwynn ever caught the wind in those days.

In the thirtieth year of the reign of King Auroros "Vox", war came to The Heartlands. A foreign empire besieged the many holds in the eastern mountains, seeking to gain a foothold into The Heartlands. Two long years of war scarred The Heartlands. News from the Eastern Front was grim - there was no end in sight. Fields of headstones were as common as fields of wheat on the Eastern Front. Foreign powers were not the only threat. Brigands and cutthroats began patrolling the highways and villages of The Heartlands, burning farms and looting what they could while the military was away. The alleys and wards were rife with ruffians and crime. Unrest stirred in the cities. Disease haunted the wards. A few assassins began accepting contracts as various factions battled for dominion in The Capitol. The country roads proved treacherous. Highwaymen abounded.

King Aurorus, long ignoring portents of his failing health, collapsed suddenly during supper one evening. Crown Princess Spiffeh, eldest of the children of King Aurorus, rose to the task of governance while her father was ill. She quickly found that holding together a nation at war with itself and with its neighbours was an impossible task without a few key allies. But who could she trust? As she surveyed her lands at sundown, there was no wind, and the blue banners of House Belwynn lazily hung in the air.

Then, it seemed as though the prayers of a nation were answered. Under blood-red banners, The Deplorables arose amidst the infighting in The Capitol. The paramilitary group persecuted brigands, thieves, and assassins in the cities, and protected farmers and merchants on the highways of the kingdom. The farmers and guilds sang their praises, as the bandits and highwaymen were finally being put to the blade, and trade could resume. From high above the city, Princess Spiffeh looked down and could only see the blood-red banners catching the wind in the city below.

Some were concerned, however, at the state of The Capitol. Infighting was rampant, and both politicians and merchants battled for supremacy in a once-peaceful kingdom. The number of blades and pistols serving The Deplorables grew by the month, swelling from a small band of former soldiers and converted highwaymen into a paramilitary force that made the Royal Guard nervous. They were looked upon by some as a military-for-hire, and there were many who would buy their services. The Royal Science Academy became highly reclusive, arming itself with implements of war instead of tools for the common folk. Rumor told of terrible weapons that could decimate entire villages with fire. The Guilds prospered in trade and began hiring their own standing military forces. Small skirmishes were common in The Capitol. Contract disputes were settled with blood in the streets where once the courts ruled. Unaffiliated citizens and noblemen ceased to exist. Everyone took a side. As the third year of the war drew to a close, the number of banners flying in The Capitol chronicled an unrest of terrible implication.

On the eighth day of the fourth year of the war, Princess Spiffeh awoke to cannon fire. The wolves were at the door. An unknown attacker had made their move, breaching the inner gates and swarmed the mount. The royal guard defended the royal family as they made their escape to a secret transport headed into the mountains. As the family boarded, and Princess Spiffeh turned to help her father, a bolt pierced his back. The guardsmen loaded him into the transport and bade them farewell. Princess Spiffeh held her father as he died, as their guards died, as the capitol burned.

And she vowed that she would have her vengeance, and reclaim…

Spiffeh's Kingdom

[Scummies]

...and that officially wraps up the 2016 Scummies Ceremony!

3 is being updated with winners for those of you that hate reading!

[Frozen Angel]

congrats to all winners

[Cerberus v666]

Congrats to all the peoples, but especially Varsoon because he brings me most of the games that I play and almost always lose in, but still have a great time doing so!

[Cerberus v666]

Also DAMN ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO KEPT POSTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CEREMONY YOU MADE ME SADDED.

[Cerberus v666]

Oh, and thanks for recognizing the coolest thing that I've ever done in a game of mafia, even if it was in a hydra that I'll probably never use again.

[McMenno]

was this just a long-winded advertisement for spiffeh's kingdom

also it's like 6am goodnight

[Scummies]

Congratulations to all winners!

As a quick, personalized thank you before I pass out, I'd like to thank a few people for helping me get this ceremony up and running (in no particular order):

1) Errantparabola - Thank you for being there with me at the 11th hour and catching some of my more egregious grammar/spelling errors (in particular, thank you for making sure that decideding didn't make it into the ceremony >.>). Having another set of eyes glancing over what's heading out at the last minute is infinitely helpful and reassuring as was the cheerleading to get the last push through; the ceremony wouldn't have been half of what it was you, so thank you.

2) xRECKONERx - Thank you for everything that you have done (and do) for the Scummies. I've always respected how effortlessly you seem to take control and organize shit, and very sincerely appreciate your help at the beginning and at the end; having you around to make outlines and help focus brainstorming was infinitely helpful as per the usual.

3) Frozen Angel - Thank you for handling the IN MEMORIAM picture; something that I was very sincerely dreading attempting to do myself, you bailed me out big time there. Also appreciate the very clutch last minute save when I was tearing my hair out trying to figure out why picture links were broken - would probably have had a minor meltdown without your very well-timed save.

4) Cheetory - Your paint graphics are gorgeous, top notch, and was very glad that I got to work on a ceremony with you again, hope to work more with you in the future. Fate's avatar as the Charmander fire is still probably my favorite thing about this ceremony.

5) Zoraster - Thank you for heckling me while I was writing, and thank you for being the person with power to make things happen. I hope that when I'm drinking alone in the future I pick a classier way to do it so I can avoid embarrassing myself in front of the most powerful person on Mafiascum.net in the future.

6) Varsoon, Clumsy, Andrius, Mastina - Thank you for your mafia game submission things (still not sure what to call them). I think that each and every one of you did a good job of showing the love you put into your games, and am glad that you were all receptive to my admittedly very strange request ("take something about your game and write about it! yeah!"). Was very energized by all of your enthusiastic responses to my request; really hope that this can become a part of Scummies Ceremonies in the future.

7) Xofelf, CuddlyCaucasian, the rest of the Mish Mash Community - Thank you 1) for again a very quick and well-timed save in getting me the information right when I needed it, and 2) for being patient with me as we work you into the Scummies Ceremony a little more... seamlessly? I am glad that we at least made progress this year (so you didn't have to make a separate awards ceremony all by your lonesome), hope to make considerably more progress in the future and look forward to getting to know you all a little bit better.

8) Thank you to everyone who read all (or some, because there's a ton of them) of these words! I love seeing the ceremony come together and I think it's beautiful and lovely and I would probably have sweeter, more flowery, more beautiful words that you all deserve if it wasn't currently bed time.

[Nachomamma8]

was this just a long-winded advertisement for spiffeh's kingdom

also it's like 6am goodnight

if you want to pre-in for it message this beautiful man.
and while i'm not sure if he's actually taking pre-ins or not i heavily recommend you try for them because missing out on Spiffeh's Kingdom means you're basically missing out on all of 2017

[Frozen Angel]

lol that last minute save was really nothing you're bolding it to much

I didn't even have a pc to do that myself

[Drixx]

Congratulations to all the winners. This was the first year I worked on judging and so I read all of the games and moments and ... just wow. MS is an incredibly diverse site with so much greatness, and I just wanted to thank the winners (and the nominees) for being here and driving it. I enjoyed the heck out of reading the many games I didn't have a chance to play in. And reading the various games has inspired me to venture out from playing basically just Varsoon's games into the other queues and watching for different stuff to play. That's because you guys are distilled awesomesauce™.

Here's to a great 2017!

[Andrius]

СЛАВА РОССИИ МАТЕРИ.

Congratulations to all the Scummies Winners!

A big THANK YOU to the

Socialist

Scummies Steering Committee, Scummies Judges, and Scummies Writers, especially Nachomamma8 who worked endlessly on this ceremony. The judges are often unsung heroes for putting in countless hours reading games and deliberating on their rulings.

You owe it to yourself to play the next Varsoon game. Seriously. Varsoon is a great mod, great game designer, and an even better friend, if you can believe that it gets better than the YEAR OF VARSOON.

Thanks to AlmasterGM who created the DEFCON games and who shares Paperback Writer with me in my heart for the creation of this franchise and inspiration for incorporating the players in the game with the flavor itself.

And thank you for Paperback Writer. If you haven't contracted PTSD or radiation poisoning from 4.0, TOTAL WAR (and Spiffeh's Kingdom) loom on the horizon...

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Really glad we were able to get the Mish Mash winners in with the rest of the ceremony this year! And super happy with all those winners, happy birthday Radja! We need to stop letting Jess win all this stuff or she's gonna realize she's way too good for hiplop, but them's the breaks I guess.

[zoraster]

great job, guys. And on time!!

[Nachomamma8]

Happy birthday Radha!

[Nachomamma8]

Happy birthday Radja!

[Varsoon]

<3
I love you all
I love mafia
Pizza for everyone.

[Cheery Dog]

I feel weird trying to remember my alt that's in the IN MEMORIAM picture.

Like i know he can just come back into existence at any time.

Great ceremony as usual guys.

[xofelf]

7) Xofelf, CuddlyCaucasian, the rest of the Mish Mash Community - Thank you 1) for again a very quick and well-timed save in getting me the information right when I needed it, and 2) for being patient with me as we work you into the Scummies Ceremony a little more... seamlessly? I am glad that we at least made progress this year (so you didn't have to make a separate awards ceremony all by your lonesome), hope to make considerably more progress in the future and look forward to getting to know you all a little bit better.

We appreciated the invitation to be a full part of this wonderful tradition this year, so thank you! I did like writing our ceremony last year, but this was much better and thank you for keeping us right with everyone else. You did a good <3.

[xRECKONERx]

Excellent ceremony, Nacho. Seriously, Nacho was a fucking boss and put all of this together himself. I basically stopped in to just outline the ceremony and let him run wild. He's a fucking beast.

It has been amazing to serve on the SSC all these years. And what a ceremony to go out on!

I'm honored Mish Mash gave me/Drench the award for best game. It means more than you'll ever know. And look out for the sequel to Survivor: #2016 with Survivor: #Midterms coming this year!

The Scummies are in capable hands and I feel incredibly confident stepping down. I hope the Scummies keep growing and kicking ass and honestly this was just an amazing way to go out. Thanks everyone.

[Spiffeh]

I love that the ceremony was basically an advertisement of Andrius' upcoming games

This ceremony was awesome, everything was written fantastically

I was laughing throughout my entire read through

Thanks for everyone involved in putting this all together!!