Gay Mafia II: Harder, Thicker, Longer (25/25)

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

moderated by: Sir Elton Hercules John
reviewed by: quadz08

YOU'RE INVITED!

Hello, my name is David Bowie and I am writing to cordially invite you to the biggest event of your afterlife! I am hosting a New Year’s masquerade ball inspired by one of the settings from my classic film

Labyrinth

. The event will involve live guests, too, so in order to preserve a sense of mystery about the afterlife, we will be concealing our identities. Additionally, Sir Elton Hercules John himself will be providing the musical entertainment for the evening. Please come by yourself, decked out in your holiday finest, and sporting a face-concealing mask. I do hope I can be graced by the pleasure of your company (and perhaps a bit more!).

MEANWHILE, IN

HELL

...

Fred Phelps carefully replaced the phone back on its cradle. He stared at the burning lake, contemplating. It was a repudiation of all he knew and held dear that he should be in this place, while the proud fag Elton John walked in paradise. A stray demon fell into the burning lake and splashed about, playing evilly in the liquid fire. Fred saw that it held Thomas Monson in its jaws. Fred Phelps let out a proud shudder and retrieved the phone once more. He dialed.

Hello?

Jerry. It's me, Fred.

Freddie! How are you?

Miserable. Listen, I need your help.

With what?

We have to get the fags.

Fuckin' fags.

Exactly. We need to catch them by surprise during one of their gay dick-sucking festivals.

I don't know when the next Jizz Fest is, but I have a better idea.

No such thing.

Hear me out. I understand that David Bowie is hosting some kind of party for a bunch of queers.

So what?

It's a costume party, we can sneak in and kill those damn queers without anyone seeing.

Yes... yes! We can kill those cock munchers once and for all!

Goddamn right. Maybe if we kill enough queers, God will finally let us into heaven.

That queer king, Elton John... he made some deal to get us stuck down here in eternal damnation. It ain't right!

Amen, brother. We can reclaim our place at the right hand of the Lord Almighty! But we're gonna need some help...

I know some friends who can help us. I'll rally them all up and we'll put an end to the homosexual desecration of Earth and Heaven once and for all!

Fred Phelps hung up the phone again and began to gather his resolve. He was ready to fulfill his noble purpose and perhaps win the favor of the lord again.

Dancing With The Big Boys

01. Nobody Special
02. DeltaWave *
03. kuribo
04. Iecerint
05. zoraster
06. Slumberpartybois (MattP/kanyeknowsbest hydra)
07. whispersilk *
08. Wyrd (Nuwen/Fate hydra)
09. dramonic *
10. One Direction (Faraday/Empire hydra)
11. Gammagooey
12. Nachomamma8
13. Ythan
14. Zoidberg
15. ThunderHog
16. Quilford
17. vollkan
18. Om of the Nom
19. Kise
20. JacobSavage
21. Pretentiousdra (chesskid/Ellibereth/Action Dan hydra)
22. BT
23. TheTrollie
24. DrippingGoofball
25. Drench

Future Legends (replacements):

Xalxe

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

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[Sir Elton Hercules John]

We added a poll to figure out how people would rather handle D1. Please vote accordingly.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

We aren't full yet, asshats.

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

I don't like those, my god, what's that
Oh it's full of nasty habits when the bitch gets back

[Sir Elton Hercules John]

Thread is going up. Role PMs will start to roll out slowly over the next hour or so. When we have enough confirmations, thread will open.