VARSOON QUOTES:
From Secret Alt Mafia:
No one will guess that I was The Real Charles Barkley.
From 3p Lylo:
". I'm town. Why am I town?
--My role PM says so."
"I'm not here to make buddies, I'm here to put my vote on scum."
"That said, I don't care how you 'play' as any alignment. The only thing relevant to this game are the posts within the game itself. How you've played outside this game only fuels shallow discussion that, to me, is a hindrance towards finding your alignment here. It allows players to be lazy, and to not produce content in the ways that I've outlined it, since they can refer to a meta and fall back unto a means of play, justifying their play as that means of play. A metaphor; A man can stab someone and say that's simply part of who he is. It does not negate the fact that the man stabbed someone."
"LyLo is my favorite game-state, and what I see as ideal. There's real stakes for everyone involved."
"VOTE: Varsoon
Seems like a good wagon to me."
"Nothing convenient about being town in a game setup that relies on town doing work.
No one ever wants to do work in this game."
“Woop woop, get dunked.”
Micro 170: Empking Mafia:
But that's why I don't do RVS. It's too much baseless speculation and, ultimately, amounts to reaction testing.
I could care less about scum/town posture or how players typically play scum/town
There's always warmth in my arms, Tsun~raki.
Calvin and Hobbes Mafia:
“But I'm not a town player, I'm Varsoon. Meta me, since you seem to talk about/rely on it and you'll figure it out.
But yeah, you caught me, I'm scum. ”
“Once a lot of town started vouching for me, I felt invincible.”
“Oh, pffft. Don't be so hard on yourself.
People enjoy playing Mafia, and as a player, you make more games possible.
Also, if you like playing, you should play.
Also-also, you'll get better the more you play. I used to suck a lot, too. I still do, I feel, but I'd like to play more games with you. You're fun to play with.”
“It was fun playing with you. Here's to hoping we both live through the night.”
“I figure we can use this thread for the following:
1. We can discern each other's alignments. I'm town. I think you are.
2. We can work together to root out scum privately.
3. We can figure out if Neighbor has any better things it can do outside of 1 and 2.
I chose you because you're talkative, I don't absolutely know your align but I think you're town so you won't fuck me on this, and because I actually value your insight, whereas other players aren't so trustworthy/insightful.”
“Regardless, I'll post what I want, when I want, how I want. If you guys have a problem with that, give me hell for it, but you'll just be antagonizing town. “
“If scum was genius, they'd never get caught.
I don't think stupidity is a town-tell.”
“Please actually be active in this game. Otherwise, you're aware that coasting and not taking an active hand in the game can come off as pretty scummy, right? It certainly doesn't help town.
You really need to put forth some effort here, because this relationship is all about us getting out what other put in. If you put nothing in, it makes me really doubt you, and when I doubt you, I want to lynch you. “
Xenoblade Mafia:
“I'm always town. And never any cool roles, like Monado-wielder. “
“. Not every response needs to be responded to.
Calm your titties. “
“I'm glad that I'm bad town.
Makes me feel real warm inside. “
“Makes me think--in a Lylo situation, all players could quote their role PMs directly, and the one guy who isn't modkilled is the scum, because he would have to lie or be modkilled. Then again, I guess if everyone is modkilled, there's no one to lynch the remaining scum.”
“Honestly, people are going to get your name wrong on here.
I've been Varswoon and Varshoon and Vorsan, even.”
“:3
Adorable, but elementary. Sadly, I'm not a lolicon.”
“Sometimes you've got to have a village idiots. You'll figure out who it is eventually. If not later, then var...soon.”
“Oh, I decided awhile ago that I'm claiming my alignment in every game I play.
It'll give me laughs and it'll be really funny whenever I finally roll scum and claim it immediately.
Of course, for the people who can't fathom why I'd do it, they WIFOM all over the place.
It's fun to watch people doubt you, when you're telling the truth. They'll scream and shout and run circles all because of one little truth.”
“yaaaay,
The day is over,
now I can sleep.”
“Oh, because ordering a pizza for someone is lame?
Come on, it's that mentality which perpetuates our cynical, non-pizza-ordering society."
“Could one of you guys order me a pizza or something? I'm really hungry, but broke.
Like, I'll give you my address and you can pay online for it or something.”
“You're just jealous no one will buy you pizza.”
“This town needs unity.
And pizza.”
“ When I write something obvious, you don't have to call it out for being obvious.
It's like when you make a joke about something incongruous and someone points out the incongruity. Like, no shit, that's the joke.”
“Crisis adverted: I bought some bread.
Anyway, I really did want a pizza, you shit.
But noooo, everyone online is too cynical to order a dude 15 bucks worth of delicious food.”
“I should honestly add Orcinus as a friend and get in every game he goes into and just make him lose his sanity.“
“ I swear I'll be more coherent and sane in my posts next game.
Unless I roll VT, of course.”
Hip Hop Mafia
“And this is why Varsoon doesn't do RVS, it's usually a bunch of people crapping on each other's plates and calling it Mafia.”
“In fact, I blaze, spread my cloud, and bring the thunder,
If you disrespect my clique, I'll take you down under.”
“Stop for a damn moment and think about what's been posted.”
“I wish everyone would chill out with the insults. I'm doing work. If you don't like it, do something else that's worthwhile, don't just cross your arms and pout. You're as much a part of this game as I am, so put something in instead of turning your nose up.”
Micro 1484 – Pick Your Partners
“I don't know shit about PJO.
I should crack open a snapple sometime and read up.”
“When am I going to post my shit?
When I stop clenching my buttcheeks so hard.
It's called constipation when you don't give a shit, right?
:3
Honestly, probably never maybe sometime. I've got like, priorities.”
Xenogears Mafia
“You keep scrambling for new things to 'catch' me on, rather than defending yourself against my criticism.
Wriggle, wriggle.”
“Cabd, my role PM says I'm part of the Nisan Alliance. We don't need to do naked battle in fourth dimensional space to figure out what's what.”
“ I've been warming up to more use of meta since I've been on the site longer, but I still think people are capable of anything, regardless of how they've played in the past. A good player will use it to his advantage, I figure, regardless of alignment.”
“You've been wiggling all of Lylo, scrounging up reasons for me being scum. Where were these reasons before? Why haven't you been pushing a case on me? Why am I suddenly oh-so-obvious scum now that we're in Lylo? I've already shot down every artificial case and appeal you've made in the last day, and I'm tired of it. Keep scrounging, but I'm firmly standing here.
I'm town.
You're scum.”
“B-sides, I want to prove all you haters wrong with my slammin' gambit.
Charles Barkley ain't cripple, he's just a lil' chubby.
I'm puttin' the ball through the hoop, though.
If all nine of you Nick-Wagoners are against me, I'll just have to dunk through every one of you.”
“Basically, I can't score these dunks alone, Mala.
I need help from whoever wants to be on my side.
I'm drafting some plays, scoping out players, figuring out who stands where and playing around it so I can put this ball through the hoop.
But I need help.
I'm just Charles Barkley, and I need all of the Rockets to blast off with me, you dig?”
“I've put in more work than any other player (for real, I've monitored this thread 24/7 since it began, sacrificed sleep, and put more words into all of my collective posts--words that actually meant something) than anyone else.
While I'm Charles Barkley of this game, I can't score this dunk alone. I need you guys to be my Olajuwon and my Drexler, to be my very own Houston Rockets~”
Newbie 1339
“Hey, I'm not weak, I'm just out of shape!”
“Sorry, man. Brohous before Touhous.”
“One of my biggest worries isn't even being mislynched. It's knowing that if I play strongly enough or discover scum and hunt them, I might be killed at night. Scum gets to just decide who can't play anymore.”
“[So what if you’ve read the thread twice?] I've played Legend of Dragoon at least 7 times. I still find things I missed or forgot.
You just gotta be more thorough.”
“Flattery don't charge these batteries, Rem.
In other news, do you think I'll look good in a coffin after I'm NK'd?”
“I can't vote for 8 players at once.”
“Only if you buy me a ChocoTaco and watch my Let's Play series that I just started.
Oh, if you share Bionicles with me, that'd be cool, too.
Honestly, the best thing you could do for our relationship right now is build your case against fuzzy.”
With how much I post, I'm sure games will be a bit longer around here for awhile. :3
Micro 215: Shitty Joke Smalltown
“That'd make sense if I was scum.
Since I'm town, I know it's not the case.”
“Maestro took the role I wanted the most. Fuck.
Guess I'll grab, uh... Loved?
I would pick Bodyguard but you rubes ain't worth defendin'.”
“It's lylo and being wishy washy didn't work until now--what makes you think it'd work now?”
Post 352 if Town loses.
Open 489: You Are Not Cats
“I don't do RVS.
Put your vote on me if that freaks you out or something.
After all, why waste the killing intent on empty threats and posturing?”
Open 512: See Nine Plus Plus
“ There's been several times in the game that I've openly applauded town efforts from other players and done things to earn 'town points'. To players who play on the second-level-of-perception, this is scummy, since they see scum as people trying to curry town favor. However, I'm playing on a third-level, which is Town seeming scummy to second-level players in an attempt to find scum who are second-level who would exploit that.”
“What’s the second level, you ask? The level above the first and below the third. People usually use stairs to get there.”
“ Don't think of it as a hierarchy. Furthermore, each level accounts for a certain perception of events/play. Think of it like a method of decoding WIFOM.”
Xenosaga Mafia:
“I love you, pie.
I love you like pizza.
I love you like pizza pie.”
Micro 315: Cowardly Hider
I'm like a fisherman. Right now, nothing's tugging at my line. I'll wait patiently until a big fish is sighted, then I'll sink my hooks in it.
And so you think that if I was scum, I'd so transparently active-lurk and stand on hypocritical grounds?
Everything offered is voluntary, yo. This a forum-based game.
Open 569: Hope +1
You may clean houses, but I clean toilets. I can see you're full of shit from a mile away.
If you underestimate a player, you give them leeway to destroy you.
Confidence is not towniness.
Hehehe
Adventure time face.
:T
Maybe one day I'll write an entire argument for why claims are dumb.
Mafia Among the Chosen
By now, people should understand that I tend to play Even Level scum and Odd Level Town;
As Scum, I am trying to appear as town. I avoid doing things that are suspicious, I cover my tracks, I'm insidiously coherent, to the point, and at times, long winded in my explanations.
As Town, I do not care about my appearance. I vote for who I think is scum. Sometimes, I make cases. Sometimes, I'm lynched.
QUOTES FROM OTHERS:
"Its var2soon 4 you 2 go" -tn5421, via LobbyChat, 11/11/2014, 6:38 AM.
“VOTE: Varsoon
I want some shitty reaction tests.” – BROseidon, Calvin & Hobbes Mafia
“Guys
Seriously
Why would roflcopter be scum
Varsoon is scum
HE FUCKING SAID HE WAS SCUM
And he's active lurking
He's posting elsewhere but not here
Like, seriously guys” –TheIrishPope, Calvin&Hobbes Mafia
“When Varsoon claims scum
he means it
lynch him ffs” – Metal Sonic, Calvin&Hobbes Mafia
“Most of Varsoon's case is total bullshit that he's conjured out of thin air.” –Zoidberg, Calvin&Hobbes Mafia
“It really saddens me that Varsoon is town. “ –Desperado, Calvin&Hobbes
“Varsoon, use the word "null" less in your reads. It might give some people the impression you're keeping your options open... oh wait!” –TSO, Calvin&Hobbes
“This was a fantastic game to follow. Varsoon is king of the shitlords.” –Xiao Long, Calvin&Hobbes
“You were indeed a total shitlord, but you were still one of my favorite people in this game.” –Skullduggery, Calvin & Hobbes
“Varsoon claimed scum.
He always claims his alignment honestly. No shit he's scum. " –BROseidon, Calvin & Hobbes
“Town Varsoon is among the most irrational entities I have come across in my life. He doesn't make any sense and is obvious mislynch bait. Scum Varsoon actually makes sense.
You can't fake crazy, but sanity is sure as fuck easy to fake.” –BROseidon, Calvin & Hobbes
“ Wish I had had the vig shot to shoot Varsoon with because it's disgusting that he's getting away with this.” –BROseidon, Calvin & Hobbes
“I feel like varsoon is crumbing bulletproof.
There was the offhand comment abotut it, and then post after post about:
Buy
Pizza
Where plenty of other things could have been requested etc. It's too forced to be accidental imo.” –Cabd, Xenoblade Mafia
“Varsoon has been banned from mafia forums for 1 week for using a trust tell.” –quaz08, Ban/Restriction Announcements, Jul 29, 2013 3:37 pm
“Trust Tells have been added to the enumerated list of banned behaviors, and a wiki article added to describe them.” –Mr. Flay, Forum Rules and Guidelines, Wed Aug 07, 2013 8:01 am
“I'm gonna hate you guys forever if you lynch varsoon D1.” –Sakura Hana, Touhou Upick
“I do agree that Varsoon is either town or a massive dick, though” –Luna Lovegood, N’s Namesake
“TheGar, Drdo didn't slip. Varsoon made him think he did.” –Egg, Mini 1484 – Pick Your Partners
“Lol wow...
Not sure if scum
or
Varsoon” –thenewearth, Hip Hop Mafia
“Why the hell would you pull a fake dayvig? Varsoon, you are a shit player.” –MafiaSSK, Hip Hop Mafia
“And I mean that in a totally non-ad-hom and non-offensive way. I am simply saying that I have no understanding behind the reasoning of Varsoon's play.” –MafiaSSK, Hip Hop Mafia
“Huh. Maybe I dreamed that. My dreams during this lylo have alternated between "bastard game, bork was scum" and "antihero hammered trust fund after agreeing to buy varsoon a pizza" –Cabd, Xenogears Mafia
“Tell me again how I'm wiggling, varsoon? For old time's sake?” –Cabd, Xenogears Mafia
“It was around page 30 when I started fearing for my sanity.
Varsoon scum is confusing in so many ways.” –Salmonella Dreams, Open 512
“Vote for Varsoon! A vote for Varsoon is a vote for your children's future and health.” –TunnelVision
“Xayzeck
(12:26)
i get very bothered when i see that cat on your head
Xayzeck
(12:26)
since i always think it's hair
Xayzeck
(12:26)
then i imagine the bald head. *shudder*”
“If you're Scum, why are you saying this? If you're Town, why are you saying this? Your mind is a dark and scary place, Varsoon.” –Skullduggery, No More Hero
