Scummies 2016 - CEREMONY!

This forum is for discussion related to the game.
Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #0  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:24 pm

Image

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #1  (ISO)  » Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:24 pm

[Day 5, SCUMMIES EVENT]

Image

...


[NORAD SYSTEM] ALERT. ALERT. NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED.
[NORAD SYSTEM] Attempting to locate launch site...
[NORAD SYSTEM] Missile unable to be tracked...
[NORAD SYSTEM] Analyzing flight trajectory…
[NORAD SYSTEM] Cannot detect targets...
[NORAD SYSTEM] Estimating time until impact...
[NORAD SYSTEM] Warhead will detonate in (expired on 2017-02-26 21:30:00)

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #2  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:33 pm

The Hype Level is +100:
Image

ONE HOUR UNTIL THE CEREMONY BEGINS

HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE HYPE

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #3  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:31 pm

Image
Spoiler: "Scummies Winners!
Kodak Moment (Most Memorable Moment) - The Cool Cucumbers for their win in Saga Frontier Mafia
Paperback Writer (Best Flavor Text) - Andrius for DEFCON 4.0
Hannibal Lecter (Best Third Party) - Elyse for Borderlands Mafia
Rising Star (Best Up-And-Comer) - Dwlee99
Best New Mish Mash Player - SummerInWonderland
Rube Goldberg Award (Best Setup) - wgeurts for Evolution Mafia
Mad Scientist Award (Best Mechanic/Mutation) - Varsoon for Saga Frontier Mafia
Best General Mish Mash Game - KittyMo for Identity
Paragon (Best Mafia Catcher) - Spiffeh
Don Corelone (Most Cunning Manipulator) - Plottin Kittehs
Best Mish Mash Player - Radja
Modfather (Excellent Moderation) - Varsoon
Game of the Year - Saga Frontier Mafia
Best Large Social Game - xRECKONERx & Drench's Survivor: #2016
Last edited by Scummies on Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:11 am, edited 5 times in total.

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #4  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:45 pm

Central Command of the Mafia Scum Mod Center, at first glance, is nothing special. On the outside, the Mafia Scum Mod Center is a high-end house in a neighborhood of wealthy lawyers and doctors in the state of Texas. Occasionally, Zoraster and his wife set aside a little bit of time to entertain their work colleagues so that they might continue to maintain the appearance of the typical boring upper class couple. Behind this carefully maintained facade, however, the story begins to change. Inside of the latter half of Zoraster’s copy of Texas Penal Codes, 2016 ed. (West’s Texas Statuets and Codes) is a button that causes the back wall of his basement to open up, allowing access to an elevator that leads down to the secret basement of every evil genius’s dreams. Two men are currently there; one is playing a popular new app called Pokemon Go, the other one is drinking straight rum from a spaghetti jar that has been rinsed, not washed, as has been confirmed to be “trendy” by his wife’s recent Pinterest adventures.

“Thesp, how is it that you’re still playing that stupid game?”

Thesp shrugged as he worked to catch the Chansey sitting by Zoraster’s computer. He was glad that Zoraster didn’t play Pokemon Go; despite all odds, the secret basement was a Pokemon Hotspot, which had created a number of awkward dinner conversations with the neighbors, whose children were convinced that Zoraster had an underground city underneath his house, which was closer to the truth than Zoraster would have liked them to be. It concerned Thesp mildly that someone either knew where they were or that the Powers that Be had a remarkably strange sense of humor, but not enough to dampen his enthusiasm for catching rare Pokemon and making his daughter think that her father was a Pokemon Master.

“I mean, I know why other people fall for it. It’s the ‘new thing’, it’s people combining the virtual world and the real one, but it’s... sad. There's nothing to it. It’s something that anyone with half a brain could have come up with, and it’s something that I could have come up with years ago and did it ten times as well.” Zoraster paused for a moment, taking a sip from his jar that was more spaghetti sauce than rum. Thesp climbed on top of the desk to catch a Ditto. “It’s something that I should come up with. We’ve been crazy flush with donations after all of our Mafiascum Branded Merchandise finally came out ***MAFIASCUM.NET REALLY DOES SELL MAFIASCUM BRANDED MERCHANDISE***, we’ve finally moved to a pretty high quality server which means we aren’t losing hundreds of members with every new crash... it’s time to take a risk, make a name for ourselves.”

Thesp sighed, putting his phone away and sitting down at his computer. Zoraster had that expression on his face, the same one he did last time everything went to shit. Mith selected Zoraster to succeed him due to Zoraster’s fierce intellect and limitless ambition; he cared deeply for the health of the site, would never be satisfied with it no matter how great or smooth it became, would always be looking to improve it until he had his power wrested from his hands. Zoraster was the ideas man; Thesp was the person who carried out his visions. And, while he had learned when a plan had a high potential for ultimate ruin, his loyalty prevented him from doing anything but helping Zoraster to get there. He began researching abandoned factories the pair could take over to begin production, finding a place with as much privacy as possible to hide from prying eyes and reporters. He started messaging contacts from around the world for competing price quotes on metals, hiring skilled workers to design and build robots.

“And not just for us. For all of Mafiascum. We could take Scummers’s personalities and download them on the bot; people could use them to play mafia games with, to fight with, even to help with household chores in a big way. And more than that, we can make it accessible to everyone: we’ll start with a low cost but suck in people who have the money with in app purchases to differentiate themselves while the low cost experience will still be great enough in order to make the app a MUST HAVE item. Why settle for collecting pictures of make believe animals when you could have your very own Spiffeh, your very own Yosarian2? This is big. This is really, really big. I’ll go tell my wife that the dishes aren’t getting done today; we are going to be here a while.”

McMenno
Mafia Scum
 
User avatar
Joined: February 18, 2015
Location: In spaaaace
Pronoun: He

Post Post #5  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:57 pm

oh I can post here

neat-o

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #6  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:00 pm

Dwlee’s very large principal frowned at them. This wasn’t the first time that Dwlee was called back here, despite being what many regarded as a “very good kid”. Dwlee's principal worried that they were going down a darker path, one rife with drugs and violence, and one that was likely to see all of their potential wasted and flushed down the toilet.

“Now, Dwlee. You’re an excellent student. You’ve gotten a 4.3 in History, have been on the honor roll every year since you’ve enrolled here. You are one of the most gifted kids that I’ve ever seen, and it absolutely breaks my heart to see you throw your future away like this. I know you know exactly what you’re doing, and I imagine that you’re doing it because you want attention, or because people are bullying you, but I care about you, Dwlee. I’ll take care of them for you; you’re not a snitch if you help me do my job and give me the names of the students who are making school so miserable for you.”

Dwlee sighed. This conversation happened many times before, and it never ended well. No one ever listened to them. But, as Dwlee was a patient person, they took a deep breath and tried to explain once again. “Sir, my shirt doesn’t represent anything bad or offensive, it’s just a game that I’d like to have more kids my age play. It’s actually a very educational game that teaches rhetoric and debating skills and logic-”

“Dwlee, there is a noose on your shirt. Do you know what that represents? At best, it’s linked to the profane slogan advertising criminals having a good time. At worst, it’s a reminder of a much darker period of this country’s history. I can’t have students coming in here and feeling uncomfortable because they feel you hate them, or you want them to...”

“Principal Snyder, it’s a reference to criminals being hanged, not to-”

“And the prostitute playing cards? Did you really think that was appropriate?”

“She’s not a prostitute, Principal Snyder, she’s a roleblocker!!”

“Dwlee, you know as well as I that I have to send you home. We’re suspending you for three days; you’ll have time in detention when you come back to make up your homework, I’ll make sure that your teachers allow it as a personal favor to you. When you come back, think about the road that you’re taking. If there’s anything that I can help you with, please come talk to me before trying to lash out at the teachers and at your fellow students. If there’s someone who's doing this, please. Let me know. It will stop immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Principal Snyder.”

Dwlee’s walk home was a long one; they didn’t live far from the school and their mother tended to let them walk home on days like this so that she would “have time to cool off” and “wouldn’t say something that she regretted”, and they savored the walk. Every time Dwlee tried to talk to an adult about Mafiascum, they never understood nor attempted to understand, they just tunneled on the concept that Dwlee was a crazy person and that Dwlee was going down a dark road and that what Dwlee was doing was strange if not horrible. Dwlee's mother in particular was the worst; she’d cry and ask what she did wrong with raising them, but she never listened. Oh well. Since Dwlee's mom would inevitably take away their phone, they decided to check England’s Use of the Trojan Myth as a Nationbuilding Tool Mafia so that they could declare V/LA and reiterate a couple of holes that they'd discovered in Regfan’s recent push on them. However, when Dwlee logged into Mafiascum, they were immediately hit with ads taking up their entire screen, which redirected them to the Google Play Store. Here, Dwlee found an app called “Mafiascum Go”, and, as they were a huge fan of the site and was happy to support it in any way possible, used their mother's credit card number to pay the $4.99 to download the app.

They were immediately impressed and satisfied the second the app opened, as Dwlee usually was whenever they purchased or recommended for a friend to purchase any Mafiascum-related merchandise (such as the t-shirts and cards humorously referenced earlier). As they weren't excited to jump immediately into one of their mom's famous lectures, they decided to pursue the “beeboy” scummer that popped up on their screen, taking a short detour down a dark alleyway in order to pursue them. Dwlee was immediately grabbed around their shoulders by freezing robot arms.

“I’m Beeboy!” they said. “I’m your best friend!”

McMenno
Mafia Scum
 
User avatar
Joined: February 18, 2015
Location: In spaaaace
Pronoun: He

Post Post #7  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:10 pm

a second post weeps

Drench
crucial waukesha voter
 
User avatar
Joined: September 25, 2008
Location: crucial waukesha county
Pronoun: He

Post Post #8  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:11 pm

when will viola davis be making her speech
join your union

Nachomamma8
Devil in the Details
 
User avatar
Joined: June 05, 2009
Location: Chicago
Pronoun: He

Post Post #9  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:13 pm

In post 8, Drench wrote:when will viola davis be making her speech

3-5 posts
"Playing with Nacho is like playing with a religious conservative." ~UncertainKitten

-- Fate, Vanilla Townie, was brutally stabbed by a throwing sword in endgame.

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #10  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:15 pm

Image
Image
Image
Image

beeboy
Survivor
 
User avatar
Joined: August 08, 2014
Location: On an adventure.

Post Post #11  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:21 pm

Ey I can shit post in here
ah yes, beeboy style reads;
if this person flips town, then i'll townread them. - Nahdia

RIP Grape-Kun 1996 - 2017.

Prince Lyon
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: February 07, 2017

Post Post #12  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:21 pm

pls dont kill dwlee i'll miss him

McMenno
Mafia Scum
 
User avatar
Joined: February 18, 2015
Location: In spaaaace
Pronoun: He

Post Post #13  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:21 pm

aren't we all

xyzzy
comical third option
 
User avatar
Joined: April 19, 2007
Location: northern VA
Pronoun: They

Post Post #14  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:24 pm

hold on I have a great idea now for a mafia game with in-app purchases where you can send me real money to gain powers in game. I'm gonna be rich

mhsmith0
Balancing Act
 
User avatar
Joined: March 07, 2016
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Pronoun: He

Post Post #15  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:25 pm

mhsmith08 is probably the worst judge tbh
Show

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #16  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:30 pm

Reck slammed his fist on the table.

“This is who you got for catering? Twenty people got food poisoning last time! And we’re weeks behind schedule! Did you really have to make my last year on the committee the worst? People are going to think that I retired because the ceremony was just that shitty!”

A small voice piped up. “Well, yeah, but can you really prove that it was the sushi? I mean, sure, the salmon was green, but...”

“Okay, fine, but why in the name of the Lord’s saggy left testicle did we decide to make personalized ice sculptures for the winning-”

Zoraster cleared his throat. “Hey, am I interrupting something?”

“I mean, you literally just interrupted-”

“Great,” he said. “As you may know, we’ve recently launched the first version of our new Mafiascum Go app, and we’re gonna need you to promote it during the ceremony. You know, uh, server costs and all that. We’re hoping to be able to expand into other markets, like merchandise and whatnot, and publicity is the first step.”

“Server costs my ass,” Reck mumbled to himself. “I’d believe it if Server Costs was the name of Zoraster’s third yacht.”

Zoraster didn’t hear him, or at least, pretended not to, and grinned excitedly. “Can you imagine it? Users around the world, with their very own Nachomamma dolls… it could say something like, I’m Nachomamma!”

Nacho snorted quietly, and Reck glared at him.

“We’re already way behind schedule, and I don’t know if we’ll even be able to fit any major promotional events in the ceremony. Especially because someone decided that we absolutely needed the traveling circus acts.” At this, Reck looked pointedly at Untrod Tripod.

UT stood up, knocking his chair to the floor. “I stand by everything I said! It’s an immersive opening act that sets the tone for our whimsical yet emotionally impactful creative direction!”

“Oh, come on. We’ve always managed to make the Scummies a good time. I’m sure you can get this done. Total confidence in you,” Zoraster said with a thumbs up and a wink.

“Wait,” Reck started, but the door had already closed.

Reck swore. “These greedy corporate fucks are ruining this ceremony for the last time if I have anything to say about it.”

---

Mith looked at the factory floor from the balcony with a look of appraisal. The roar of machinery echoed around the large room as giant assembly lines slowly churned out robots. Workers and programmers were working furiously, testing each Scummerbot thoroughly to make sure it was fit for release. Mith saw one worker screaming, caught in the iron grip of a Scummerbot labeled Kuribo, who was yelling and punching the worker repeatedly.

“These robots are looking great,” Mith said. “But all this seems really expensive, are you sure we have the funds to do this?”

Zoraster nodded. “We had to allow a few advertisers on the site, and we also switched to lower quality servers, but we’re meeting the budget for Mafiascum Go.”

Mith looked alarmed, and Zoraster hurriedly said, “Don’t worry! It’s just a temporary change. In fact, I’ve already talked to the Scummies organizers, and they agreed to promote it. We’ll be making back the cost in no time, trust me. This will be the next big thing--mobile games are the new trend.”

“Are you sure? Remember what happened with the cards? We thought we could get away with pushing the production back another year because of costs, but everyone was getting too impatient.”

“Yup. It’ll be no problem at all. I promise.”

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #17  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:36 pm

Dwlee walked in the door to shattered glass and their mother nursing a bottle of whiskey as she often did after Dwlee came home after one of their talks with the principal. She turned to Dwlee, eyes brimming with tears. Today, Dwlee avoided her so that they might hide the smile on their face that would send her flying into a rage. Dwlee stuffed clothes, rubber gloves, and snacks into a backpack as their mom fluttered around the house with the same tired mantra that they’d heard a million times before: “What did I do? What could I have done better?”. Normally, Dwlee would cower in their room, waiting for her to calm down and have the normal talk with them, but today they had a different mindset and felt too over the moon to dwell on the trivial things their mom represented.

And, almost on cue, Beeboy entered, jolting Dwlee’s mom out of her drunken stupor. He waved cordially, prompting Dwlee's mom to give him a gesture he was not yet programmed to understand, then floated over to Dwlee and their fully packed suitcase. Dwlee turned their official Mafiascum Hat to the front, staring longingly at the front door. Beeboy gave the best encouraging smile a robot copy of a scummer could give, then turned to Dwlee.

“Are you ready for this? I’m not sure if a 12 year old wandering off on their own is advisable or legal, but as it is in my programming to support you regardless of your task, I’m willing to help you with this journey.”

Dwlee’s mother screamed some more, throwing herself in front of the door and saying something that sounded vaguely like words Dwlee wasn’t yet old enough to hear, but the smile never faded from their face. “Absolutely. I will be the best friend a Scummer Bot has ever had, and we will become the strongest and smartest Scummer Bot and friend ever to exist. You, Beeboy, are the ticket to a college education. You are the ticket to seeing the world, you are the ticket to walking down the street without fear. You are my key to a better life, Beeboy.”

---

Dwlee’s adventure started a little earlier than other adventures would around the world; they had been lucky to download the app only seconds after launch whereas others had to wait days before it stopped constantly crashing from the sheer volume of downloads. Dwlee had a lot of fun learning all the things Beeboy was capable of; Dwlee took him to their favorite pizza joint where they learned that Beeboy loved pizza as much as they did (and learned that Beeboy was luckily waterproof after a waiter spilled their root beer on him), Dwlee learned that Beeboy was incredibly, incredibly strong and had access to strange techniques such as the ability to communicate with insects and the ability to craft anything out of a swarm of bees (the Beemobile was an accomplishment that even Beeboy was surprised with). Dwlee was even there to comfort Beeboy when Beeboy was worried why he was created, worried about what he was.

However, as the world is a cruel, cold place and nothing happy can stay happy forever, it wasn’t meant to last. The first time Dwlee’s adventure went from light and fun to dark came days after Dwlee left their hometown of Bot Lane, California and stopped to rest for a bit in a desert somewhere in Colorado, deciding to sleep under the stars in their sleepover mattress that they packed in their bag while Beeboy slept next to them on a bee mattress, complete with bee pillows and bee blankets (he offered to do the same for Dwlee, but Dwlee was getting a little homesick despite themselves so decided to sleep in their own sleeping bag and remember when Dwlee and their big brother used to go camping in their parents' backyard). Dwlee had just fallen asleep with a smile on their face when they felt their sleeping bag yanked from underneath them. When Dwlee got up and wiped some of the sand off their jeans, they found themselves face to face with a huge, hulking Scummer Bot who was grinning evilly.

“WAKEY WAKEY SCUMFUCK, TIME TO BE DESTROYED.”

Beeboy dissolved the bed he was sleeping on immediately, centering the bee swarm around his fists as he protectively stood in front of Dwlee. “If you’re destroying anyone, you’re destroying me.”

“That’s the plan, children.” A much smaller man stepped out from behind the Scummer Bot, smiling sweetly. “You’re out past your curfew - what type of adults would we be if we didn’t put you to sleep right here and right now? I am Katsuki, and this is my Scummer Bot Fate. Now, typically I don’t waste introductions on people who are about to die, but I’ve found myself to have a soft spot as of late and figure that invoking the name of the Screaming Death Clan in the afterlife will help you find something in common with the countless numbers we’ve killed already.”

Fate nodded vigorously, clapping his hands. “HAPPINESS IS A LIE CRAFTED BY THE STRONG SO THAT THEY MIGHT DERIVE MORE PLEASURE FROM CRUSHING THE WEAK. THE ONLY HAPPINESS IS MISERY.”

beeboy
Survivor
 
User avatar
Joined: August 08, 2014
Location: On an adventure.

Post Post #18  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:36 pm

In post 12, Prince Lyon wrote:pls dont kill dwlee i'll miss him


I would never kill my best friend D:
ah yes, beeboy style reads;
if this person flips town, then i'll townread them. - Nahdia

RIP Grape-Kun 1996 - 2017.

McMenno
Mafia Scum
 
User avatar
Joined: February 18, 2015
Location: In spaaaace
Pronoun: He

Post Post #19  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:39 pm

two to the one to the one to the three

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #20  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:40 pm

Reck watched the late arrivals pour in, calmly. As to be expected, the rest of the Scummies Steering Committee had left him “in charge” of the ceremony, which meant that he was left alone in trying to keep everything together. Most years, he was stressed, screaming, angry. This year, he felt oddly zen; not even Thor throwing up on another finalist after spewing his trademark line yet again (“I was going to put egg on my face, you know, because of the thing I did? But instead I have PAINT on my face! Get it? It’s because I was in Paint Mafia!”) could ruin his day today.

His hired help skittered around in fear of their boss, assuming he had finally snapped and was going to kill them all at any moment. The bravest of them all, Mhsmith, walked up to him. “Sir. You’re up, everything should be prepared and will run smoothly.”

Reck smiled at him warmly. “Thank you, Mhsmith. You’ve all done a fantastic job so far.”

“And... the ice sculptures...”

Reck dismissed him with a wave. “...have already melted, as to be expected. Having nude sculptures of the winners was tasteless anyways. Don’t worry, everything is still going according to plan.”

As Mhsmith finally remembered to start breathing again, Reck took a few confident steps forward, stepping out onto the stage in front of a crowd that greeted him with an enthusiastic roar.

-----

xRECKONERx: Welcome, good people and robots of Mafiascum.net to the 2016 Scummies Ceremony! We have a hell of a show planned for you tonight that I hope you all enjoy, so, without further ado, let me introduce the finalists for the first award we’re giving out tonight! Please, welcome to the stage the finalists for the Kodak Moment Award! Thor665, Jackal711, The Cool Cucumbers, 3dicerolling, and Ranger!!

Reck smiled as all five members walked up to the stage, waving to the crowd and smiling ear to ear. He had to give the otter some credit; swapping an entirely too drunk Thor for his Scummer Bot did help things go a bit more smoothly.

xRECKONERx: What a charming set of individuals, eh? The Kodak Moment Award is given to the person who was involved of the most memorable event of the year, which includes fake claims, awesome exchanges, hilarious mistakes, good post restrictions... These moments are important because they are the moments that stick with us even after we’ve left the site, moments we will reminisce about wistfully as we’re shooting the shit with our friends in the distant, distant future...

This year, the Kodak Moment Award for the Most Memorable Moment goes to...

The Cool Cucumbers for their win in Saga Frontier Mafia!

"The Cucumbers hydra played a Townish-enough game early on but were eventually run up for a lynch. They claimed to be Treestumping Neutral 3rd Party, saying that they treestumped instead of killing, and once ALL killing roles were gone, the Cukes would win with Town... Well, the game's nearing the end, and Sensei hits me with a killing Impale shot that he acquired during the game. I die. I was the last Mafia, and also the last one with a killing ability in my rolecard. So the Cukes now win with Town, right? Nope, they told another little lie. Seems they win SOLO when all the original kill roles are dead. GG, Cukes." - Klingoncelt

"Cucumbers in SAGA mafia suddenly winning alone instead of with the town after the last killing role was lynched has a lot of shock value and was very well played." - Gammagooey


The crowd claps warmly for The Cool Cucumbers as they walk up and accept their prize. They open their mouth to speak, but pause for a moment as VoidedMafia comes rushing up onto the stage, narrowly avoiding the security guards that try to hold him back. He hands The Cool Cucumbers their award, which is a shiny golden camera.

VOIDEDMAFIA: I made it! Holy crap, I actually made it! Cool Cucumbers wins this award for what ended up being a stunning third party win earned, in a large part due to a stunning fakeclaim that shocked both Mafia and Town when they snatched the win from both!

After the Cool Cucumbers gently nudge VoidedMafia to the side, suddenly, everyone begins to notice just how... cool they are. The human-sized Cucumber, after very smoothly moving from the awkward VoidedMafia moment into one where they were being valued and appreciated, sauntered around on the stage a little bit, taking pictures of all the attractive members of the audience with the shiny golden camera.

The Cool Cucumbers: We’d like to thank everyone who helped us get to where we are today, which is... us.

Reckoner smiles politely as he ushers VoidedMafia and the Cool Cucumbers off the stage. His zen calm is broken for a split second until he notices the reaction of the crowd, which is cheering loudly at what they think is a callback to VoidedMafia’s performance last year. He calms down again.

xRECKONERx: And here to present the next award is a man that gave us the stunning Mod Error Mafia last year! It’s the one, the only... Magua!

Magua steps onto the stage, patting Reck on the back and smiling at him. Reck took a step back; it was nice to have competent people in place that weren’t him.

Magua: So there I was, writing my speech for the scummies, trying to remember who would win the Paperback Writer Award for best flavor. Would it be Mastina, for her story of heartbreaking betrayal and triumph in Gistou? Would it be Andrius, for his epic and classic tale of Americans versus Russians in DEFCON 4.0? Would it be Chrimi for her creepy sci-fi tale in “Welcome to Typhon”? Or would Varsoon win yet another award with the tale of the Charm Lord’s domination in Saga Frontier Mafia?

I love the reward for Paperback Writer because it celebrates the moderators who go above and beyond to infuse their story with character, passion, love. Good flavor changes a mafia game to a journey; good flavor makes people who were simply players into legends, characters...

The Paperback Writer Award for best Flavor Text goes to...

Andrius for DEFCON Mafia 4.0!

"Just read the death scenes. Seriously, just read them. Pure art." - Nahdia

"...but what most amazed me were these quotes when flipping players: 'By my art or my death, if I can help you, I will.' - Nahdia or 'You think I'm MAD? YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE CAT IN A RAGE!' - Lady Lambdadelta ... The roles and game design were perfectly in symphony with what it was supposed to represent and the total game atmosphere was perfectly in harmony with that." - Frozen Angel


Andrius smiles wistfully, remembering the friends he’s forgotten. The applause pours over him like gunshots, and he steels his soul against the memory of those who he has lost. He puts on a public face.

“Thank you for the award, Magua. I’ve looked up to you for a long time; you have no idea how much this moment means to me.”

Magua smiles sincerely, putting a brotherly arm around Andrius as they both walk offstage.

McMenno
Mafia Scum
 
User avatar
Joined: February 18, 2015
Location: In spaaaace
Pronoun: He

Post Post #21  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:41 pm

gratz andrius

Nachomamma8
Devil in the Details
 
User avatar
Joined: June 05, 2009
Location: Chicago
Pronoun: He

Post Post #22  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:43 pm

Updated with current winners.
"Playing with Nacho is like playing with a religious conservative." ~UncertainKitten

-- Fate, Vanilla Townie, was brutally stabbed by a throwing sword in endgame.

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #23  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:46 pm

"Chevre, use reject!" Chevre, jumping into the air, twists into something far more monstrous than his mere cat form, and within the general construed first perception, one would come to realize he'd have changed into his Title Fairy form. Dull eyes, dead as the vulture, scanned the whimpering Firebringer, a lookalike to a cartoon Growlithe, while the rest of his body did its own dirty work. Where Chevre's main mass had been located was now just pure black. The black grew farther and farther, and Firebringer, with nothing around to hold onto, was sucked into the void.

A loud voice boomed out, "You have been rejected." With it, Chevre returned back to a kitten. His trainer, a wildly looking kid with brown, unruly hair and blue eyes ran out with a delighted grin. Kneeling down beside Chevre, he gave him a quick pat and looked at the other trainer across the field. The woman, something of a soccer mom with red, curled hair and an open mouthed expression, stared at Chevre. She started walking away slowly, not even daring to follow standard post-battle trainer ceremony. The kid returned his gaze back to Chevre and gave him a big hug.

He whispered, "Who's a good kitty?"

"Me, I'm the best kitty, Ari," was what Chevre was able to project into his mind. The words appeared as text in his mind to which his trainer would have to read. The kid, Ari, laughed and got up to walk home with his favorite Scummer.

The commercial flashed to a news announcer, Not_Mafia on his name tag, as he began to speak about the happenings of the world. He sat behind his desk and began talking, "Around the world, kids and adults alike experienced the utter joy of their scummer bots. Some kids, like our favorite trainer here, fought with them in Scummer battles! Each Scummer had their own unique traits and personalities. Not only that, but they had their own strengths and moves! Nobody was better than anybody as people would soon come to discover for each Scummer was to be played in their own ways.

In this sense, some people even explored the globe and purchased Scummers everywhere just to enjoy their company and differences. Scummers do make good guests, after all, and they became in high demand for anybody with any sort of want. The Scummer Bot industry was booming, and one man was monopolizing it all. Being the only person to know how to create such bots, Zoraster himself was in high demand, too.

Killthestory, a fairly infamous trainer, was actually blocked from ever contacting Zoraster after having been banned from all conventions, websites, and anything that Zoraster had owned. He'd managed to have the last six bans repealed, but he couldn't break the seventh one! With his brand new friend, they wrote his new appeal letter to Zoraster. Let's take a look!"

The television flashed to an image of a living room with two inhabitants. "This is an inefficient way to spend your time, Kill, and quite frankly, I am livid with how you're treating my important life." Psyche sighed, and the pencil scratching the paper was all else that could be heard. Kill, lying on the couch while Psyche wrote the letter in his mr. personality form. A completely devoid persona colored white, he'd be sitting in a chair with a pencil. His voice didn't match the thin physique with a high pitched voice to completely offset the appearance.

"I like to live everyday like its my last. You have me living like I'm already in hell." Psyche sighed again, a telltale sign of Psyche being in perfect working condition, and he continued, "Can't believe they even take you seriously anymore, ok." Another sigh.

"Shut up. Just because I'm a notable troll doesn't mean I'm a notable troll, ok-" He was interrupted by another sigh, "Hey, and you listen here with those sighs, if I hear another on-" Another sigh, "STOP. STOP WITH YOUR SIGHS. THIS IS THE EXACT REASON I WAS BANNED, DAMMIT!" With Kill's outbursts, the screaming would die out around the house before Psyche responds. With a mere shake of his head, he says, "Sigh."

Kill brings a head up to his face and talks at a more reasonable volume, "How much do you have done?"

Psyche looks up from his work, "Oh, only just this. It needs a spoiler because of how long-winded and unoriginal you are, so...
Spoiler:
Greetings, Zoraster. If this isn't the place to go, then I'm not sure what is. If you'd like to not bother with this, then feel free to do so. Just refer me to a different company that ACTUALLY LISTENS TO MY COMPLAINTS in that case, please. Anyway, let me get right into it.

I've been banned for 2 months and a day now. At least, from my estimation. I want to come back. I do. I've wrote a couple of essays detailing why I want to, but I hope to properly convey why I want to here. I'm going to list a variety of reasoning, and it's going to be quite long. Once again, if you don't want to read it all, that's perfectly fine. Just refer me to a company that listens, again, in any situation if you honestly need to.

Now, let me start out with how I've been behaving as of recently. I've been apart of 7 or 8 major industries. I've been CEO to 3 of them, and I've been a trusted adviser in others. My behavior is completely fine, and I've been good in most major industries I've taken apart of. Let me link one of the biggest industries that directly associates itself with Scummer Bots, where the original concept came from in fact. http://www.pleasehelpmemynameispsychean ... nidiot.com: On this industries website, I have quite a few posts, but I also have quite a few friends. I have not received any warnings on Neopets forum, and they're more strict about their rules than Mods on MS industries websites. In my time playing there, with about 15 games played, I have not received a single warning about my behavior, whether it be unofficial or official. This goes to show for a lot seeing as Neopets is one of the best mafia communities around, and they're much more strict on their rules than a lot of communities. I'm also currently hosting a 9v11 with Scummer Bots there, so if you doubt my credibility of my claim when I say I know most of the regulars on Neopets, then look at this winky face. ;') I've hosted my own games, and I've played in a lot of games. I've been a part of the company for a couple months, and I still haven't received a warning. Surely that has to attest something for when it comes down to behavior.

Now, let me move onto another major company. One of the servers I became CEO, now dead, was a very organized and strict site. While it didn't necessarily care about slurs and such, if you intended to disrespect someone, it didn't matter your rank, you were punished. The forum itself is very organized, and it's got a very good ruleset. It's also a much more mature forum, and the fact that me being so young as I am and gaining a staff position is somewhat of an unlikely occurrence as most of the staff who played before it mainly died were much older. If it can attest for my behavior as well, then there's that. It proves that I have what it takes to follow the rules. Here's the link to my heart. Just kidding, fuck you.

Another two communities that support a good concept, RP, and I've been apart of one for a while, and the other for a bit. On each, I've put a lot of work into what I say, and I haven't received any warnings but have garnered many likes for my posts. Here's the link to my on one of the communities forums where I haven't been there long, but I've put a lot of work into my posts. The disrespect rule is even more strict than on Neopets which is pretty extreme since Neopets has a strict disrespect rule as well. The fact that this company is more strict, and I haven't received a warning does go to show that I can change my behavior for the better. Here's the profile https://www.killthestory.com Now, on the other company, I've been there for a long while. If I wanted to, I believe I'd be able to become staff on this server, and it's currently a major company that isn't showing signs of dying anytime soon. I'm a pretty respected member for the posts I make on the forum. I haven't received a warning there either, and I haven't received a warning in game there either. Here's the link to the forum http://respectedforum.com

All those communities, with absolutely no infractions regarding disrespect, and I've been on most of them for a long time with well thought posts don't uphold the theory of not having changeable behavior. Even then, this behavior was showing on the MS forum, too, where before I made the comment that got me banned, I was doing pretty well in terms of disrespect. I was relatively nice to everyone, and I didn't say anything disrespectful for the most part. I acted much like this even in discord and skype chats. You can ask most that interacted with me during that time period, even Quabsdln, stating himself that he "preferred Kill when he was acting like he did." My behavior can change, and it will change if I was unbanned.

The time going from the ban to now is quite a long time, too. About 2 months, which is a while. About 1/6 of a year I've been banned, and I'm not very relative anymore. A lot of the people on the forum have either forgotten about me or they don't know me. This is of course disregarding anyone in skype or discord chats I interact with, but it goes to show that people's tempers have calmed down. People aren't going to react as strongly as they might have 2 months ago to me being unbanned, especially with the accounts that my behavior has changed. It's certainly possible in that time period, 2 months. A lot can happen in 2 months.

There's also the fact that I so strongly care about being unbanned. Why would I go to such trouble to writing this, 1006 words and counting, when I didn't care about being unbanned? I've been pestering everyone for the past 2 months about this because I truly want to come back. I've written essays as to why I should come back, and why I want to come back. I've written paragraphs as to why. I've gone on skype and talked to absolutely nobody about it, as reluctant as they are to talk to me about it. I've been doing everything in my power to get unbanned because I truly want to. I want to come back to the company for a variety of reasons that I'll certainly detail.

I want to come back because of the friends I've made. I made a lot of friends that I want to talk to again, interact with. I know, must be surprising with how I acted, but I did. I did like a lot of them, and a lot of them I shared a lot of personal shit with. I shared a lot with them, and they shared a lot with me. I have those skype chats and discord, but it isn't the same as playing a game with them. Playing a game of anime, getting salty and mad postgame but eventually laughing it off. I want to play with them, whether it be for the memes or whether it's even more memes, I truly want to come back to interact with my friends. I even remember writing a post about all the friends I had made. Right here http://gofuckyourself.org If I truly didn't care about the people I wanted to come back to, why would I go through the trouble of trying to get unbanned and writing this, that post, and hanging out with them in discord in general? I truly want to come back for them.

Another reason I've spent so much time in coming back is that I want to rant about whatever. I like to share my stories and thoughts with others on this forum. I believe I've written stories out of the blue, or I've just created topics to talk. I always enjoyed the atmosphere that you can create any thread and talk to your friends about it and be chill. It's a great place to talk about whatever without too much judgement as long as it isn't the stupidest thing ever written, and it's a fun place to talk. There's individual threads dedicated to just that, talking. I want to talk to everyone about whatever wherever. It's fun to have a friendly exchange of opinions, even if I possibly crossed that line slightly too much. Here's a story I wrote back when I was going through a rough patch because I wanted to have others see it. Right here http://edgelordnation.com

The time I've been banned is also a long time. Two months may not seem like it, but it's felt like forever since I've been unbanned, and I have, in every single one of those days, tried to better my behavior. It's clear I haven't held a grudge against anyone, and that I truly care about being unbanned. It's a long time, and I think it's an appropriate punishment for my deeds, of which bans are supposed to be a punishment. They're not supposed to just outright keep players away, but to make them understand the rules in a more clear context and to show them the extent of your powers if they don't. I clearly didn't get the warnings, so I was banned. I was banned for 2 months which seems like a fitting punishment, and that's why I chose now. It's been a while, and I think I've served a long time to still remain banned.

I think I'm gonna end up repeating myself, but yeah, I truly do want to come back. I've put so much work into this email, and I've put so much time into it. I even used my more personal email to get it to you, allowing you to see a bit of my personal information because I truly want to be unbanned. I want to be unbanned, and I'll try to the best of my ability to get unbanned. I've honestly put so much into this, and I want to get unbanned. I've invested too much time in the company and in this post for it to be waved off, so please at least consider it. Consider it and get back to me, please. I want to change, and I want to come back. If you can supply me with any way to do this at all, I'll be in your debt for a long time. It'd mean so much if I were unbanned because I've been waiting so long. If it's simply waved off like everything else is, then how am I supposed to talk to anyone? The Mods refuse to talk to me, over skype or anything. I've only sported one actual beneficial conversation with a Mod, and it didn't last very long. Every post I've made on the forums has been deleted with no response to what I said. It's most of the time, at least. I really just want a response, and I really really really just want to be unbanned.

With that said, I've spent two hours on this, and it's 1 A.M. I'm tired, and I need to get some sleep. Thanks for reading!
Cheers
-Killthestory (and Psyche the overworked, underpaid)


"That isn't nearly enough!" Kill screams out again. He jumps up from his seat on the couch and begins stomping his feet, "If you don't put more work into this, I'll see to scrapping you, Psyche!"

Psyche scoffed, "That'd be a more efficient waste of my time anyway."

Kill continued screaming on, "Psyche, I'm not kidding! I'll... I'll... I'll stuff your core chip into an Accountant!" Huffing and puffing, Kill was red at the face with breaths coming to him in waves.

Psyche gasped audibly, and he continued on in a sarcastic manner, "Oh, fun. I can't wait to be stuck inside someone who knows more math that I know anything. Such a punishment!" Psyche laughed. He lazily waltzed over to Kill and shredded the paper right in his face.

Kill began blubbering his words in an attempt to form any coherent sentence, "Yo- I'll... Aaah, I will destr- Destroy you! You are a goner!" Kill grabbed Psyche's thin body and plunged his fist right into the part of him that shimmered at the back. Psyche screamed and arched his hand backward as Kill ripped out his core. Psyche went limp, and Kill threw him aside as he walked over to his closet. He looked for an Accountant model but was only able to find a Majiffy model.

Plugging the core into Majiffy, he'd wait expectantly as Majiffy began to run system diagnostics. Eventually, he sprung to life. Majiffy made a few quick turns before leveling his focus on Kill, and he beamed. He looked like some sort of wrestler, and his voice matched the body unlike a certain Psyche person. Kill smiled and nodded gingerly. He found the perfect candidate.

Or so he thought, "So, where's the beer and bitches? Do you even have drugs, bro?" Majiffy frowned, and then tilted his head at Kill's screaming. He fell to the ground and started pounding the ground like a baby without his bottle.

The television flashes back to Not_Mafia, and he's in the middle of talking to someone before turning to look at the show and flashing his award winning smile. The man runs off stage, and Not_Mafia continues talking from where he left off, "Okay, so maybe not everyone was enjoying their new Scummers, but most were. Let's take a look at another satisfied custom-"

"I'M WILLING TO BUY THE INDUSTRY. I WANT YOU TO GO BACK TO YOUR MASTER AND TELL THEM THAT, YOU HEAR?" An employee working at a Scummer store with his name tag labeling him as 'drmyshottyizsik' was screaming at his Scummer, Kappy. His face was red, and he was holding pictures of Zoraster he had taken as reconnaissance during his time when he was judging how much he'd thought Zoraster would sell it for.

Kappy nodded eagerly and was about ready to jump out of the car, a tiger with human limbs, before Shotty stopped him, "Stop! Stop being so stupid! Just access your database, you!" Kappy nodded again, and his eyes lost all color. His body went limp for a few moments before he returned, and the words appeared in Shotty's head much as they did Ari's, "I have changed their websites tiger theme to match me! I also changed their wiki to ask if you could buy the industry!"

Shotty stopped the car, and he hit the 'unlock' button on his left side armrest, "Get out, you buffoon! I don't want to see your face again!" Kappy tilted his head before Shotty booted him out, literally, and Kappy was sent to the streets. With a single look back towards Shotty, he continued on his way down the street with Shotty watching...

Before getting hit by a bus. The bus stopped as Kappy's head went flying from his robotic body, and Shotty laughed evilly, "Bussed so hard!" He cackled maniacally as he drove down the street, and he drove to his house to end the best day in his life. He'd been waiting to get rid of that idiotic bot Zoraster had sent him! Chuckling before he went to bed, he thought of how great the day had been.

Turning off the lights and pulling the covers over his body, he closed his eyes. He heard a shuffling beside him, though, and he turned over to see just what it was. He saw Kappy's disfigured form standing in the doorway with his missing head clutched in his grip. His eyes glowed from the perch he had in his arms. Shotty screamed, and that was the last sound he ever omitted.

Again, the television shows Not_Mafia. His award winning smile is still plastered to his face, but his clothes are reeked with sweat, an uncharacteristic happening, "Okay, maybe these weren't such a good idea. No worries, though, beca-"

People ran screaming around a mall as a Korts bot ran screaming. He'd be sitting on a high horse, him looking like a normal human, someone like Tom Waits, as he screamed, "Fight me, dumbass! Fight me!" No one was brave enough to hold up to the challenge, and Korts screamed with rage. He sent fire flying from his fingertips and the whole structure began to crumple. The TV turned to static for a moment before returning to Not_Mafia.

"Well, folks, I've been informed that you should pay close attention to your Scummer bots! They can be the best thing you've ever owned, or they can destroy whole nations. Earlier today, India was wiped off the globe by the Scummer Kuribo. Stay safe out there, folks! This broadcast will be temporarily halted now because currently we're under attack from Scummers."

The television turns to the typical 'Technical Difficulties, please stand by' screen with the colors flashing across the screen.

Scummies
Goon
 
User avatar
Joined: June 25, 2009

Post Post #24  (ISO)  » Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:49 pm

Dwlee’s heart was pumping; they forced themselves to take deep breaths despite the struggle. For the first time in their life, Dwlee was afraid they were going to die; it wasn't exactly an experience they had been looking forward to having. Beeboy smiled back at Dwlee for a moment, keeping an eye on Fate with the insects floating around him. “You’ll be okay, Dwlee. I’ll protect you.”

Fate smirked. “HOW ADORABLE. A CHILD AND THEIR TOY HAVE SENTIMENTAL FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER.”

Katsuki shook his head. “Fate, we have a lot of killing on our schedule; do you really think we have the time to banter with a ten year old? I don’t. Light yourself on fire and murder the insect and the child.”

“WITH PLEASURE, MASTER CUPCAKE.” Fate let out something that sounded akin to a roar and lit his entire body on fire, then started cackling as he rushed to beat down Beeboy.

Dwlee pushed aside their fear to help their friend; they saw that Beeboy planned to take the hit head on, but they didn’t think Beeboy would be able to survive it. “Beeboy! Duplicate yourself, surround Fate! He won’t be able to hurt you if he doesn’t know where you are!”

Before Fate could reach Beeboy, Beeboy took Dwlee’s advice and created as many bee forms as he could muster. Fate’s fist made contact with the first one to appear, and while it hurt Dwlee to see the pained expression on their friend’s face, Dwlee knew from the way the form shimmered ever so slightly that it wasn’t the real Beeboy. Dwlee let out a sigh of relief. “Good work, Beeboy!”

Katsuki began giggling. “Oh my, have I underestimated you! I’ve murdered so many idiots that haven’t understood the power they have in front of them; none have such wonderful control of their scummer bots as you do! Oh, this is delightful!”

Dwlee ignored the crazy man, focusing on the situation in front of them. Fate had gone silent, clearly intimidated by the army of Beeboys now facing him. Beeboy and Dwlee had experimented with how many bees Beeboy could generate, and it was close to infinite; however, the more they created, the more fragile Beeboy would become. Dwlee worried that Fate would simply land a lucky blow on the right one and kill him instantly; they wished Beeboy would take this time to run away, so that he might find a life somewhere else while Dwlee and Beeboy’s clones handled Fate and Katsuki, but Dwlee knew Beeboy wouldn’t leave them behind no matter how insistently Dwlee commanded him to.

Katsuki stopped laughing for a moment. “Oh, my dear, I am so sorry! If I were anything but a lone wolf type, I’d extend the offer to join the dark side, and, if I had the means to track you down again, I might even let you live here just to see how close to me you could come! But, unfortunately, I have a ceremony to stop and it’s a fairly time sensitive issue. Fate, explode.”

“Beeboy!” Dwlee heard themselves shout out to their friend instantly; there were thoughts in their head, sure, but it felt like someone else had taken over his body. “He needs to charge his power before attacking! Hit him with everything you’ve got!”

Immediately, the Beeboy clones channeled into a huge pillar that hammered Fate in his chest before he could even open his mouth to roar again. Fate went flying through the air, his body crumpling in a pile on the floor feet from the ground. After seeing his Scummer Bot wounded for the first time, something changed in Katsuki; the smile was wiped off his face as he stared at Dwlee, who couldn’t help but shudder at the murderous look in his eye.

After a few moments, Fate rose again, walking towards Beeboy and leaving a trail of flame behind him. As a reflex, Beeboy attempted to duplicate clones once again, but Fate burned them all, fireballs appearing from his body and hammering into his fake clones the second he appeared. Dwlee’s fear returned, their brief moment of confidence evaporated completely. Beeboy stood silent.

Next
[ + ]

Return to Mafia Discussion