Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia (Endgame)

[hitogoroshi]

The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the "B-Ballnacht". Thousands upon thousands of the world's greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the "Verboten Jam"...

Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

A tale of zaubers, b-balls, and atonement; brave dangers unheard of, face spectacular challenges that even the greatest ballers could not overcome, and maybe... just maybe... redeem basketball once and for all in:

hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa

WARNING: The game you are about to play is canon.

Current Phase: Endgame

I Can See You're No Greenhorn When It Comes to Pre-21st Century B-Ball Vernacular and Colloquialisms (1/10)

MattP

- The Diabeastie,

Jam

aligned Lengthy Roleblocker, survived and won the game D5.

If You Can't Slam With the Best, Then Jam With the Rest (9/10)

Gammagooey

- Micheal Jordan,

Jam

aligned Goon, dunked D1

Nachomamma8

- Hoopz Barkley,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, killed N1

Jase

- Juwanna Mann,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, lynched D2

Benmage

- Dick Vitale,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, killed N2

Shmugen

- Larry Bird,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, lynched D3

Vi

- Charles Barkley,

Slam

aligned One-Shot Blackout Dayvig, killed N3

Zoroaster

- Pump,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, lynched D3

kanyeknowsbest

- the Cyberdwarf,

Slam

aligned Hideous Doctor, endgamed D5

Hircine

- Matt Guokas,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Townie, endgamed D5

My Name is Charles Barkley and This Is My Story...

Day One Begins
Gammagooey Dunked, Day One Ends
Day Two Begins
Day Two Ends
Day Three Begins
Day Three Ends
Day Four Begins
Day Four Ends
Day Five Begins
Endgame

[hitogoroshi]

General Rules:

For you Munchkins out there:

Rules are subject to addition, deletion, or change any time. If you try to abuse some technicality, I will make that technicality cease to exist and retroactively punish if needed. There are several common sense rules that are implicitly here that I didn't bother writing. When in doubt, PM the mod. But remember, directly quoting PM's from the mod (including the role PM, any flavor or pictures from a PM, a rules adjucation quoted verbatim, etc) or impersonating the mod in game (by pretending I have "edited" a post I have not) is

strictly forbidden

. Paraphrasing is fine, as long as there's room for doubt. Again, common sense.

Play to your win condition:

I want you all to have fun, but you must always be trying to secure a win for your faction. Failure to do so might get you banned from all mafia games on-site, not just this one. Getting modkilled will turn you to a dead neutral survivor, so incurring a modkill is

always

playing against your factions wincon. Do not test my patience on this issue; I have none.

Roll with the punches, but don't be a shitlord

: This is a game where some people want you dead, and there's a certain degree of hostility inherent in the premise. “Attack the case, not the player” is a good guideline, but the line is thin and I'm not interested in playing baby-sitter.

However, there are certain boundaries you must respect. My general anti-harassment rule can be roughly stated as, “If it'd be illegal to fire someone for, it's forbidden to insult someone for.” To be more specific, insulting someone based on (or simply an insult including reference to) culture, gender, sexual orientation, income, or similar non-mafia related things is expressly prohibited, with punishments up to and including forced replacements/modkills on the FIRST OFFENSE. You guys probably know I'm pretty easy-going, and you probably don't know how absolutely small my tolerance is for this sort of behavior. This is me warning you.

Lynching:

It takes a full majority to lynch or to no-lynch. If there is no one with a majority at deadline, it's no-lynch. No lynch is a valid vote target, but does not take any fewer votes to achieve than a normal lynch.

First rule about ongoing games:

Don't talk about this game anywhere else, and don't talk about other ongoing games here. ESPECIALLY don't share QT links with anyone. Yes, talking about "[redacted]" is still talking about ongoing games.

Mistakes:

Everybody makes them. Call out vote count mistakes with a bolded note in thread. All other mistakes should be pointed out discreetly via PM.

Activity:

I will prod a player after 48 hours of inactivity. Prods can only be 'picked up' by actually posting in thread – a response to me will not cut it. Players will be replaced upon receiving their third prod, or if they take more than 48 hours to respond to a prod. (However, one prod on your record is removed for each full game Day you participate in.) Players are also free to request replacement at any time. I will not count Saturday hours for activity.

V/LA

: Declaring V/LA (Vacation/Limited Access) freezes your activity clock. It starts ticking on midnight the day AFTER the end date you've given.

Kills:

I will accept kills that are either bolded in the scum QT, or sent via PM. If I receive multiple kill orders, I will use the most recent one. You can only submit a kill order you yourself are carrying out. If I receive no kill orders all night, no kill will happen.

Deadlines:

Deadlines will be two weeks for all days. I will extend this only in extreme circumstances. Nights will be 48 hours from when the lynch scene is posted.

Votes:

Votes must be bold, and be on the start of a new line. A vote inside a paragraph almost certainly won't count (unless I think you're deliberately abusing this policy – you should never PURPOSEFULLY place your vote in a paragraph). Unvotes are nice but not necessary. Don't play 'vote tricks' – whether you voted for someone or not is ultimately for me to decide, not you.

If the Mod said you're alive, you're alive:

I will not end the day if the number of votes stated in the last VC + the number of additional votes is not great enough to lynch - I won't penalize the town for a mod error.

To put this otherwise, if I make a mistake in the vote-count, point it out immediately, but UNTIL I fix it, someone will only be lynched if BOTH the actual vote total AND the vote counts agree they should be lynched. This ensures that someone doesn't get accidentally hammered because of bad mod information.

My color:

is

blue

. Don't use it. Also, no invisible/small text or robust cryptography/stenography.

Twilight:

Standard site interpretation. If a majority is ever reached, it's twilight. Anyone can talk, including the person about to die but all votes/unvotes after the hammer don't count.

Bah?

: No bah. When you die, you're dead, and dead dudes can't post. There will be a fun dead QT though. (Yes, I know I'm a hypocrite who loves bah posts himself but doesn't allow them. This is because I can trust myself and I can't trust you kids.¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Specific Rules Pertaining To This Vidcon-Based Mafia Experience:

Matias is my backup mod. Note that he is not a co-mod, so you don't need to do stuff like cc-ing him into every pm you send. I can run Shut Up and Jam alone provided I'm here. Contact Matias only if an issue is hanging for more than 48 hours (a requested VC, a PM, etc.) or if I have a planned absence where I specifically announce to send things to Matias.

This game is a battle between 8

Slam

aligned players and 2

Jam

aligned players. There are no Jesters, Lynchers, Cultists, or Survivors. No player (except a modkilled one) will have their win condition change from what it was at the start of the game.

This game has three classes of abilities - Active, Passive, and Factional. There is a limit of one Active -or- Factional ability per Night - however, something that affects Active abilities does

not

affect Factional abilities unless explicitly stated. Passive abilities are always in effect.

Flips are guaranteed to be true and definitive.

There are at least 2 fakeclaims for Jam aligned players. These fakeclaims are full PMs and include all of the trappings of regular PMs (flavor, a picture if appropriate, etc.). They may either be vanilla town pm's, or pm's with a given power. Note that, while I AM choosing deliberately the number of Slam aligned townies and the number of VT fakeclaims (if any) given to the Jam scumteam, I will RANDOMLY allocate which VT's are Slam aligned and which are Jam aligned fakes.

Onix isn't in the game, but if he was, his PM would look like this:

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are Onix. You are a rock-type pokemon. Technically you aren't in the game, but you learn the move "Slam" at level 28, so you'll fit right in.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

The following win conditions are in the game:

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

You are

Jam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Jam

aligned and at least one

Jam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

[hitogoroshi]

This post WAS going to have flavor, then I remembered the game itself has a nice flavor bit, I'll just use that.

PM's going out at sometime this evening. Don't get antsy about getting the PM's since the game won't start until Friday afternoon no matter what (I have two exams).

[hitogoroshi]

PM's going out now.

I fucked around a bunch writing the PMs. Do not attempt to metagame them in any way, because in that path lies terrible, terrible madness. I know I have a reputation for being really anal and precise in my games, but let me tell you, not in Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden Mafia. Have fun, it's a vidcon, that's what they're about.

Game starts at 9 confirms, but NO EARLIER than Friday afternoon after my Analysis midterm.

[hitogoroshi]

Day one begins! With 10 alive, it's 6 to lynch. Deadline is 6pm CST on October 12th, 2012.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: If you took all of the b-balls in the world and put them in the Atlantic Ocean, everyone would be like, "Come on, man, why did you take all the b-balls in the world and put them in the Atlantic Ocean. We were using those."

VC 1 (Session 1, VC 1)

(3)

Gammagooey:

Hircine, Jase, MattP

(Hircine)

[L-3]
(2)

Vi:

Benmage, Shmugen
(1)

Shmugen:

Gammagooey
(1)

Benmage:

kayneknowsbest

(Hircine, Vi)

(1)

Hircine:

Vi
(0)

Nachomamma8:

(Gammagooey, Jase)

(2)

Not Voting:

Zoroaster, Nachomamma8

(Gammagooey, Benmage, Vi, Jase, Hircine, kayneknowsbest, Shmugen, Hircine, MattP)

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The world's first b-ball was probably called something else.

VC 2 (Session 1, VC 2)

(4)

Gammagooey:

Hircine, Jase, MattP, kanyeknowsbest [L-2]
(2)

Vi:

Benmage, Shmugen
(1)

MattP:

Gammagooey
(0)

Shmugen:

(Gammagooey)

(0)

Benmage:

(kayneknowsbest)

(0)

Hircine:

(Vi)

(3)

Not Voting:

Zoroaster, Nachomamma8, Vi

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: there are several things in the world that are not b-balls, including mountains, baguettes, and fire.

VC 3 (Session 1, VC 3)

(4)

Gammagooey:

Hircine, Jase, MattP, kanyeknowsbest [L-2]
(1)

Vi:

Shmugen

(Benmage)

(1)

MattP:

Gammagooey
(1)

Jase:

Benmage

(3)

Not Voting:

Zoroaster, Nachomamma8, Vi

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The "dunk" in "dunkaroos" has nothing to do with slamming a b-ball and instead refers to "dunking" the savory treat into the provided chocolate. Despite this heinous lack of ballitude, Dunkaroos are prized by the duergar for their many nutritive benefits.

VC 4 (Session 1, VC 4)

(2)

Gammagooey:

Hircine, kanyeknowsbest

(Jase, MattP)

[L-4]
(1)

Vi:

Shmugen
(1)

MattP:

Gammagooey
(1)

Jase:

Benmage
(1)

Hircine:

MattP

(4)

Not Voting:

Zoroaster, Nachomamma8, Vi, Jase

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: Every b-ball has contained within it a small seed. If you break open the b-ball looking for it, you'll never find it. But if a b-ball is worn out through frequent slamming and good care, it'll be there, plain as day. If you plant the seed and periodically regale it with tales of b-ballers past and present, you'll be rewarded with a productive chicken fry tree.

VC 5 (Session 1, VC 5)

(3)

Hircine:

MattP, Zoroaster, Shmugen [L-3]
(2)

Gammagooey:

Hircine, kanyeknowsbest
(1)

MattP:

Gammagooey
(1)

Jase:

Benmage
(0)

Vi:

(Shmugen)

(3)

Not Voting:

Nachomamma8, Vi, Jase

(Zoroaster)

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Sorry, you don't have enough science points to hack the vending machine.

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: Despite Clispaeth's attempts to forestall fate by giving the entire species tiny arms, it was a T-Rex performing a Chaos Dunk that caused the K/T exticntion event.

VC 6 (Session 1, VC 6)

(3)

Hircine:

Zoroaster, Shmugen, Jase

(MattP)

[L-3]
(1)

Gammagooey:

kanyeknowsbest

(Hircine)

(1)

MattP:

Gammagooey
(1)

Jase:

Hircine

(Benmage)

(1)

Vi:

Benmage

(3)

Not Voting:

Nachomamma8, Vi, MattP

(Jase)

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The Red Sea actually parted because Moses did a sweet dunk.

VC 7 (Session 1, VC 7)

(3)

Hircine:

Zoroaster, Shmugen, Jase [L-3]
(3)

Shmugen:

Nachomamma8, Gammagooey, Hircine [L-3]
(1)

Gammagooey:

kanyeknowsbest
(1)

Vi:

Benmage
(0)

MattP:

(Gammagooey)

(0)

Jase:

(Hircine)

(2)

Not Voting:

Vi, MattP

(Nachomamma8)

With 10 votes in play, it takes 6 to secure a lynch.

Automatic End of D1

(expired on 2012-10-12 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

!NEO-NEW YORK CHAOS DUNK ADVISORY WARNING! A MEASURED 19.7 MEGAJOULE OF NEGATIVE BBALL PROTONS HAVE BEEN DETECTED. A CHAOS DUNK IS IMMINENT. FIND UNDERGROUND SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS NOT A TEST.

---

Gammagooey - Micheal Jordan,

Jam

aligned Goon -

Chaos Dunked

D1 by Vi!

"....gold...Incan gold!"

It is now Night one. Night lasts for 48 hours. All actions must be in by deadline.

(expired on 2012-10-07 22:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: Hoopz Barkley died a slow, agonizing, painful death, even though he is a child and did nothing wrong, and when he screamed in terror at the end of his life there was no one to comfort him but his own echoes

Nachomamma8 - Hoopz Barkley,

Slam

aligned Townie - Killed Night One

It's now Day two. Deadline is October 22nd at 6pm CST.

D2 isn't gonna be any longer than

(expired on 2012-10-22 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The Pyramids once had b-ball hoops attached to them so the pharaohs could perform their legendary five hundred foot dunks. Sadly, wind and sand have eroded them away so all that is left is the boring base no one even cared about.

VC 8 (Session 2, VC 1)

(4)

Zoroaster:

Vi, Benmage, Shmugen, Jase [L-1!]

(2)

Shmugen:

kanyeknowsbest, Zoroaster

(Jase)

(2)

Jase:

MattP, Hircine

(Shmugen)

(0)

Not Voting:

(Vi, kanyeknowsbest, Benmage, Zoroaster, MattP, Hircine, Shmugen, Jase)

With 8 votes in play, it takes 5 to secure a lynch.

D2 ain't isn't gonna be any longer than

(expired on 2012-10-22 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The b-ball bone's connected to the arm bone. You should already know if you have one.

VC 9 (Session 2, VC 2)

(4)

Zoroaster:

Vi, Benmage, Shmugen, Jase [L-1!]

(2)

Shmugen:

kanyeknowsbest, Zoroaster
(2)

Jase:

MattP, Hircine

(0)

Not Voting:

With 8 votes in play, it takes 5 to secure a lynch.

D2 ain't isn't gonna be any longer than

(expired on 2012-10-22 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The Swedish Foundation for BBall Science and Research recently performed groundbreaking research in an attempt to understand the thoughts of b-balls. So far, they have categorized b-ball thoughts into three major groups: a love of dunking, comparison of b-ballers throughout time, and a deep seated belief that Eugene V. Debs would have made a great president if he had gotten the chance.

VC 10 (Session 2, VC 3)

(4)

Jase:

MattP, Hircine, Vi, Shmugen [L-1!]

(2)

Zoroaster:

Benmage, Jase

(Vi, Shmugen)

(2)

Shmugen:

kanyeknowsbest, Zoroaster

(0)

Not Voting:

None

With 8 votes in play, it takes 5 to secure a lynch.

D2 ain't isn't gonna be any longer than

(expired on 2012-10-22 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Remember when that dude died yesterday because of a dunk? Man wasn't that sweet?

You get your best minds together for a dunk based capital punishment system. Maybe we dunk the victim through some sort of hoop? Or hit them with the b-ball. There are so many options!

Actually though, you tried literally every one and they were all terrible. To be honest it was a pretty dumb idea. It seemed way better in your head.

You all feel disappointed as the platform falls and the noose tightens. Lynching is so bland. Not any dunks at all! Oh yeah also you murdered an innocent human being who had hopes and dreams and all that, but mostly you're sad about the dunk thing.

Jase - Juwanna Mann,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Town - Not Dunked At All, But Still Totally Dead, Day Two!

It's now Night Two. Day Two starts at 6pm CST on Saturday, October 13th.

(expired on 2012-10-13 17:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

The game doesn't open until late tonight on account of League of Legends World Finals. Beep boop who wants to play mafia on Saturday ANYWAY.

[hitogoroshi]

Dick Vitale. waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were b-balls in the base. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to the president of basketball were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Dick was a basketball talker for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the slammers and he said to dad “I want to be shootin hoops daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY B-BALLS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the base of the NBA he knew there were b-balls.
“This is K.G” the radio crackered. “You must fight the b-balls!”
So Dick gotted his 'aid and did a sweet dunk.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the b-balls
“I will shoot at him” said one of the b-balls and he fired the rocket missiles. Dick dunked at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the b-balls” he shouted
The radio said “No, Dick. You are the b-balls”
And then Dick was a b-ball.

Benmage - Dick Vitale,

Slam

aligned Townie - Killed Night Two

It's now Day Three. Deadline is October 28nd at 6pm CST.

With 6 alive it takes 4 to lynch.

Hircine V/LA for like a week

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: A b-ball walks in to a bar, and the bartender says, "B-balls don't have any legs, how did you walk in to the bar." Turns out it wasn't a b-ball at all, it was a human being. What a wacky misunderstanding!

VC 11 (Session 3, VC 1)

(3)

Zoroaster:

Shmugen, MattP, Hircine [L-1!]

(1)

Shmugen:

Zoroaster
(1)

Kanyeknowsbest:

Vi

(1)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest

(Shmugen, Hircine, Vi, Zoroaster, MattP)

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Shmuigen and Zoroaster have been prodded.

[hitogoroshi]

Wait, Shmugen's the one at L-1?

@mod: Try some Steroids and Gatorade

Hah, fixed.

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: The "b" in "b-ball" stands for "basket".

VC 12 (Session 3, VC 2)

(3)

Zoroaster:

Shmugen, MattP, Hircine [L-1!]

(1)

Shmugen:

Zoroaster
(1)

Kanyeknowsbest:

Vi

(1)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Hircine has been prodded.

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: there has never been a game of b-ball played in an active volcano, because no one has had the foresight and courage to build a b-ball court in an active volcano. We are a failure as a species.

VC 13 (Session 3, VC 3)

(3)

Zoroaster:

Shmugen, MattP, Hircine

(Hircine)

[L-1!]

(1)

Shmugen:

Zoroaster

(Hircine)

(1)

Hircine:

Vi
(0)

No Lynch:

(Hircine)

(0)

kanyeknowsbest:

(Vi)

(1)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest,

(Hircine)

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: don't forget to spay or neuter your b-ball.

VC 14 (Session 3, VC 4)

(3)

Zoroaster:

Shmugen, MattP, Hircine [L-1!]

(1)

Shmugen:

Zoroaster
(1)

Hircine:

Vi

(1)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Deadline in less than 3 days!

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: A copying error by an incompetent monk in the transcribing of the Torah left Moses's most famous quote as "Let my people go". This is truncated from the original, "Let my people go and play some b-ball."

VC 15 (Session 3, VC 5)

(3)

Hircine:

Vi, Zoroaster, Shmugen [L-1!]

(2)

Shmugen:

Hircine, kanyeknowsbest

(Zoroaster)

(1)

kanyeknowsbest:

MattP
(0)

Zoroaster:

(Shmugen, Hircine, MattP)

(0)

Not Voting:

(kanyeknowsbest)

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Deadline in six hours and some change.

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: Extensive logging of it's native old growth forests has put the North American Spotted B-Ball on the Endangered Species List.

VC 16 (Session 3, VC 6)

(2)

MattP:

Shmugen, Vi [L-2]
(2)

Shmugen:

Hircine, kanyeknowsbest

(MattP)

[L-2]
(1)

Hircine:

Zoroaster

(Shmugen, Vi)

(1)

kanyeknowsbest:

MattP

(MattP, Shmugen)

(0)

Not Voting:

None

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Deadline in four hours and some change.

[hitogoroshi]

Wait, that wasn't a fun b-ball fact, that was a sobering and tragic b-ball fact. My apologies.

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: It is impossible for a b-ball to get strep throat. This is because of it's robust immune system.

VC 17 (Session 3, VC 7)

(3)

Shmugen:

Hircine, kanyeknowsbest, MattP [L-1!]

(2)

Hircine:

Zoroaster, Shmugen
(1)

MattP:

Vi

(Shmugen)

(0)

kanyeknowsbest:

(MattP)

(0)

Not Voting:

None

With 6 votes in play, it takes 4 to secure a lynch.

Call Your Doctor If Your Day Three Lasts Longer Than

(expired on 2012-10-28 18:00:00)

Less than two hours until deadline.

[hitogoroshi]

Shmugen - Larry Bird,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Town - Died in Silence and Shame Day Three

It's now Night Three. Day Four starts at 8pm CST on Tuesday, October 30th. Because the game is opening the day before Halloween, I will prepare my moderation accordingly and modkill anyone who uses the word "Spooktacular".

(expired on 2012-10-30 19:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Game opening delayed because I forgot to do it! I am not even gonna tell a lie I just straight up forgot and now I have shit to do. Tomorrow afternoon I will be POST-STUFF and there will be a thread and it will be awesome and wonderful but

not spooktacular.

[hitogoroshi]

It's Halloween and ghosts are everywhere! A ghost stole last evening when the thread was going to open. And a more different ghost stole the flavor text. This turn of events is very spook...ish. I will give some new Halloween appropriate flavor. Hopefully it is not also stolen by ghosts.

You find the body of Charles Barkley. He probably wasn't killed by a ghost because those motherfuckers can't pick shit up. The sight of a dead body is extremely spook...y.

Dudes and ladies are dropping left and right! Come to think of it that's probably why there are all of these goddamn ghosts running around. Or floating. Because their legs go through the fuckin floor, man! What's the point of walking when your legs go through the floor. You ain't foolin no one ghost. We can all totally tell.

Be careful. If you act wrong here, there might be an future where the people you don't want to win, win. And that would be spook...alicous.

Vi - Charles Barkley,

Slam

aligned One-Shot Blackout Dayvig - Killed Night Three

A Blackout Dayvig ends the day only if they hit a target of a different faction.

It's now Day Four. Deadline is November 14th at 4PM CST.

Don't You Fucking Say Spooktacular Before

(expired on 2012-11-14 15:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: While each joke on a Laffy Taffy wrapper claims to be written by a human child, about one-third of them are actually written by B-balls. B-balls have a terrible sense of humor.

VC 18 (Session 4, VC 1)

(2)

No Lynch

: MattP, Hircine [L-1!]

(2)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest, Zoroaster

(MattP, Hircine)

With 4 votes in play, it takes 3 to secure a lynch.

Don't You Fucking Say Spooktacular Before

(expired on 2012-11-14 15:00:00)

Zoroaster has been prodded.

Saying a thing in bold is not the same as voting for that thing.

[hitogoroshi]

Ghosts stole Day 4 too! Is there nothing ghosts won't steal??

No one was lynched. Actions due by 7pm CST November 4th. Remember that daylight savings shit.

[hitogoroshi]

It's time for the Riddle Corner!

Q: What do today and yesterday have in common?

A: Fucking everything

No one died Night Four.

It's now Day Five. Deadline is November 18th at 8pm CST.

D5 will be kill by b-balls

(expired on 2012-11-18 20:00:00)

[hitogoroshi]

Fun b-ball fact: A b-ball walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "B-balls don't have any legs, how did you walk in to -- wait, didn't we do this joke before?" And the b-ball says fuck you, b-ball jokes are hard.

VC 19 (Session 5, VC 1)

(1)

Zoroaster:

MattP [L-3]

(3)

Not Voting:

kanyeknowsbest, Zoroaster, Hircine

(MattP)

With 4 votes in play, it takes 3 to secure a lynch.

D5 will be kill by b-balls

(expired on 2012-11-18 20:00:00)

Zoroaster has been prodded.

Kanye dawg, you quoted the wrong countdown =]

[hitogoroshi]

p sure zoro is voting matt hito

He said:

Unvote, MattP

which isn't a vote.

[hitogoroshi]

Hircine and kanye sat on the riverbank, holding hands and skipping stones into the river (with their other hands, otherwise it wouldn't work)

Hircine looked into kanye's eyes and said "Oh Kanye darling, I feel like we're forgetting something."

"What could that be, Hircine my love?"

"Well..." Hircine frowned. "This is Barkley, Shut Up and Jam, right? Charles Barkley. He's like the main fucking guy? Have I got that right?"

"Yeah."

"He dunked the fuck out of a scum, remember. Like the only dead scum was the one Barkley dunked. Barkley was confirmed town as

dick

even before he died and was even more confirmed town."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

Hircine sighed and skipped another stone across the water. "Didn't Barkley want to murder some dude? Y'know, in a "I'm confirmed town and the only dead scum is the one I killed, so listen to me and kill this other dude" kind of way?"

Kanye shrugged. "What do I look like, a fucking history book? Is that all I mean to you, Hircine? Am I just THE PAST??"

"No, no, it's just...I'm pretty sure we were supposed to kill someone. I could swear you like explicitly promised to do it if we killed the weird pony first."

"So we'll go kill someone! See, problem solved."

"But will it be the person Barkley told us to kill?

"Yeah probably."

Zoroaster - Pump,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Town - Lynched Day Five

kanyeknowsbest - The Cyberdwarf,

Slam

aligned Hideous Doctor - Endgamed Day Five

Hircine - Matt Guokas,

Slam

aligned Vanilla Town - Endgamed Day Five

MattP - The Diabeastie,

Jam

aligned Lengthy Roleblocker - Won Day Five

The

Jam

aligned players have won the game!

[hitogoroshi]

Spoiler: Charles Barkley, One-Shot Blackout Dayvig

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Charles Barkley.

You are alleged to be responsible for the Chao Dunk that initiated the Great B-Ball purge of 2041. But you know that's a dirty lie. B-ball is illegal now, and maybe it will be forever if the Jammer's have their way. They'll have to get through you first, though, because you're going to do everything you can to leave your son a world where he can be a baller. And yes, if necessary, you do know how to perform...the Vereboten Jam.

Active Ability: Chaos Dunk

Once during the game, during the day, you may post

Chaos Dunk: X

in thread, where X is the name of a player currently alive in the game. You will instantly kill that player in a dunk that is confirmed to have originated from you. This resets all votes and adds one day to the deadline.

Passive Ability: Lust for Incan Gold

Your weakness is Incan gold, and the Jammers know it well. If your "Chaos Dunk" action kills a

Jam

aligned player, the day will end as you busy yourself admiring the Incan gold they had on their person. (The gold will not be destroyed by the chaos dunk - it's a well known fact that the Incan's future-proofed all of their gold supplies.) (Also you being delayed DOES delay the whole thread, because you're the main character!) Additionally, if at any point you being a Vanilla Town would cause the game to be called in favor of the Jam aligned players, you will become a Vanilla Town because they will throw Incan gold at you and you will be mesmerized. (They won't throw the Incan gold otherwise because damn, that shit isn't cheap.)

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: The Cyberdwarf, Hideous Doctor

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

The Cyberdwarf.

You are a dwarf, go figure. With your masterful healing hands, you can keep people alive who would otherwise have died. Also, you have a mean right hook. For balance reasons though, you can't actually right hook anyone. Just the healing hands. I hope that is satisfactory.

Active Ability: Insulin Shot

Target player is protected from night-kills this night. This will also cure any Diabetes they have, which may or may not matter.

Passive Ability: Hideous

You have grotesque b-ball matter where your face should be, and you are extremely self conscious about your ugly, ugly face. Having someone see you once is fine, but no more than that! You may only use your "Insulin Shot" ability on someone you have never used it on before. Yes, this restrict applies to self-protects as well. You can only spend time in a room with yourself once. After that you are too depressed to look in a mirror. "But what if I pick a room with no mirror?" you may ask. "Fuck you, that's not how the ability works" I will reply.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Hoopz Barkley, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Hoopz Barkley.

It's your saga. It's you! You are the son of Charles Barkley, a baller, a vidcon expert, and a Gun'sbraster. Surely with all of these talents, you have some sort of sweet power. And you do! You have your guns!

...

But you forgot your ammo. This is because you are a child, and children are dumb. Ain't that some shit. Guess you're a VT.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Larry Bird, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Larry Bird

. You are a priest of Clispaeth, trying to put a bit of peace and order into the world. The Jammers are presumably trying to do the opposite of that? You're a man of faith, so you're going to take it on faith that those other guys should be murdered. That sounds right.

Also, there actually is no god, so you're a VT. Owned.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Juwanna Mann, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Juwanna Mann.

You are like...sort of a love interest? But not really? You're kind of boring to be honest. I guess you're there to show how Barkley is still faithful to his wife. Sort of a poignancy enabler? Yeah. I guess that's what you are. That's not an actual power you can have though. So yeah.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Pump, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Pump.

Ahhh, console video games (or vidcons as I call them), the ultimate medium of expression, able to convey any emotion ranging from hatred to love, loyalty to fear, all in front of our eyes. Ah, and with lovingly crafted art, music, and the ability to control the action, vidcons are the ultimate combination of the high arts. While I tend to play the stoic, I will be the first to admit that vidcons have driven me to cry, to scream and shout, to feel actual hate; such is the power of this force beyond our wildest reckoning. And here I am, before you, to tempt your tongues with the taint of such a tantalizing topic. And the Japanese, the true geniuses behind the world of video games. Pah, I throw my scorn upon such incompetents of the West who would mock the true art of the Japanese with 'games' such as Baldur's Gate and Madden. Perhaps it is that the West is not as intelligent as the East, but this is a matter for another day. Japan has given us such masterpieces as the Final Fantasy series, Star Ocean, Wild Arms, and of course, Arc the Lad. Yes, some of the finest vidcons in the world were created by Japanese. I come to you today to ask you in all earnesty, what is your favorite vidcon? I will reveal mine after the grand debate has illustriously begun, but not before the first poster falls victim to my plot of discussion.

It has come to my attention that in certain circles, simian-minded individuals are refering to vidcons as 'vid cons', ignorantly placing a space between 'vid' and 'con'. Perhaps their brains have dulled by years of Madden and Quake, rather than mentally invigorating games such as Arc the Lad and Growlanser, because even a child could tell that placing a space between the 'vid' and 'con' in vidcon is perhaps more profoundly philistine than a certain American administration that need not be named. Placing a space in vidcon completely belittles the meaning of the word and displays the user's blatantly miniscule intellect and misunderstanding of the basic precepts of grammar. Vidcon is a perfect marriage of the words console and video game, creating a short and effective portmanteau that quickly and accurately labels mentioned objects and anybody who does not immediately recognize 'vid con' as absolutely outrageous clearly lacks the mental faculties to correctly operate a vidcon other than perhaps FIFA Sports. I make this point because I have recently been belligerently barraged by imbecillic 'vid con' references that unnerve me to no end and have taken it upon myself to correct the damage that your poor Western education (though this is a subject to be discussed on a later date) has wrought upon you. You should personally thank me that I did not see it fit to correct your preponderous mistake in Japanese, because I am thoroughly positive your neanderthal mind would be incapable of deciphering the Hiragana from the Katakana.

It should be no surprise to anyone with a passing familiarity with vidcons that pocky is the ideal food to snack on when playing mentioned object (although 'playing' is an inappropriate word, because you experience, rather than play, a vidcon; I shall use 'playing' for the sake of simplicity). For those ignorant to the intricacies of this fine Japanese cuisine, imagine a delicate stick of sweetened bread about the width and length of a chopstick, its tip coated in the richest chocolate imaginable. The bold flavor of the chocolate is complimented by the small nuts that caress the tip, creating a culinary juxtaposition of sweetness and saltiness that can only have been hatched in the mind of a chef versed in the subtle paradoxes of Eastern cooking. They are light and easy to eat and hold, useful for vidconning on the go, and their sugar content add that extra boost for late night vidcons. Therefore, pocky has garnered itself the precious title of "Ultimate Vidcon Snack". Perhaps the only drawback of pocky is its limited availability in the West, though this cannot be attributed to the snack itself, but the infuriating baboons that think they are running grocery stores.

I never thought I'd see such blatant trolling as I have in this forum. Step away from the computer, drop the ham sandwich and back the FRACK off, gaijin. I hate to use that word but you've made me that serious. As hard as it may be for you to fathom, some of us here are actual fans of the Final Fantasy series (pre FFX) and Square's work in general. You can try to bash me for an avatar that I bought because I happen to be a dedicated fan of perhaps the most poignant, painstakingly woven tapestry of love, loss and vengeance ever to be put from pen to paper, but you would fail, just like all of you flamers do in real life. Who can say that the minds at Square Enix (note: appropriate portmanteau is SQUENIX, not the laughable SQUEENIX) were not inspired by the works of William Shakespeare or Chuck Palahniuk? Cloud's bastard sword has more akin with the bastard sons of Macbeth than it does any armament of basilard of the time. The Honey Bee Club in Midgar reminds me more of the Fight Clubs than any brothel. So please, use your brains, not your sarcasm, and step up to the intellectual plate, or leave this forum and take your "haterade" with you.

The differences between Japanese and American vidcon consumers are as blatant as the differences between seasons 1 and 2 of Otomoe wa Boku ni Koishiteru (a nod to my fellow Otomoe wa Boku ni Koishiteru enthusiasts). Whereas the Japanese vidcon consumer is informed and discriminating in his or her purchases and endeavors, his American counterpart acts as a foil, stumbling blindly through the vidcon department at K-Mart, groping for the first vidcon with enough explosions or mammaries on the cover to slake their slavering decidedly non-intellectual lusts. Their hunger for Western garbage such as Madden and Halo is fueled by an almost sub-human ignorance that is as profound in the rest of their lives as it is in their choosing of vidcons. This disgusting display of American mass stupidity is no doubt the result of Christian indoctrination, adding another point on the list of reasons why the Japanese are more intelligent than the West, as contemptuous Western culture has left its people with little more than swiss cheese brains and an unquenchable urge for repeat football vidcons.

Among the most prominent Japanese composers (although I use the word 'Japanese' superfluously, as even the most well-known American composers are barely competent at best), one in particular stands out to the enlightened vidcon soundtrack consumer. His name: Yasunori Mitsuda. For the record, this is not to undermine the amazing works of other incredibly talented vidcon composers such as Uematsu-san or Sakuraba-san, but to highlight the unique, almost celto-tropic music (the word music is an understatement) that Yasunori Mitsuda has been composing for years. It would be sheer ignorance to deny that the Chrono Cross soundtrack is anything but the magnum opus of vidcon music; its lilting and oftentimes hauntingly peaceful guitar melodies soothe all but the most savage of breasts while its tense battle themes and mysterious donjon tunes ignite a blazing passion that can be quenched only by the vidcon's profound story and gameplay. It is a wonder that anyone can listen to anything besides vidcon musical compositions after listening to Mitsuda-san's immensely powerful soundtrack, but given that the primitive thuds of hip hop are America's current choice of 'music' (I use the term music liberally), once can see little hope in the mass appreciation of Mitsuda-san's work.

There is, perhaps, only one medium of art that matches the excellence of vidcons and that is (obviously) visual kei. Combining absolutely exquisite j-rock and j-pop, sprinkled with hints of vidcon melodies, with the pyrotechnic visual flare that the Japanese are known for, visual kei takes its viewers on a rollercoaster ride of lights, fanfare, and music that even Beethoven could tap his toes to. Would that I were Japanese, (though under careful scrutiny, it appears my geneology tree does in fact show signs of a Japanese presence) I too would participate in this art of the 21st century and even perhaps venture onto the visual kei stage myself. It is no surprise that the impotent minds of Western society cannot fully grasp the total splendor of visual kei and instead choose to squandor their time listening to rap and country "music".

In the course of my career as a vidcon specialist (my own coinage, spend it wisely), I have never seen such blatant and frankly, sickening ignorance as that exhibited by the "people" (if, in fact, they are homo sapiens at all, as their intelligence implies elsewise) that claim that Zelda is not an RPG. There is nothing that Shigeru "Shiggy" Miyamoto could possibly do to make the vidcon any more of an RPG as it meets every single criterion for being one, particularly that it takes place in an imaginary realm with a fantastical beastiary, the damsel/villain ratio is at or above standards, and that the core emphasis of the gameplay is on bedazzling all foes with impeccable swords and sorcery. Furthermore, this line of thought can be extended to all vidcons in which the player controls a character (hence, roleplaying), though I cringe slightly at the thought of such mundane vidcons as Madden being RPGs, as they do not even include exotic weaponry such as the tonfa.

I promised earlier to divulge upon you the name of my favorite vidcon, but I have a treat: not only will I give you the name, but I will give you a tantalizing summary to entice you to try it (though will no doubt need to brush up on your kanji before playing, as the vidcon's subtle yet flavorful use of Japanese idiosyncrasies can only be grasped in their entirety by those with a sound mastery of Japanese). The vidcon, as many of you may have guessed, is the absolutely stunning RPG/dating sim Angelique: Tenkuu no Chikonka, one of the first games to pioneer the moe aesthetic. It flawlessly merges a powerful and compelling RPG story and system with an incredibly advanced and realistic dating sim that has sixteen (that's right, SIXTEEN) datable characters. Though it is not generally my nature to develop crushes, I must admit to feeling the palpatations of love's caress once or twice while dating, as the characters are very beautifully draw in the anime style. Add absolutely enchanting music with incredibly lush and colorful graphics and you've got the perfect recipe for the best game ever made.

It should be no surprise to my more-informed viewers that the topic of my discussions would eventually fall to the well-established artform of eroge (known to laymen as "hentai vidcons", though this is a false moniker as the vidcons deal with far more than mere hentai). Much-beloved in the East, these games are sadly, and one might even say expectedly, decried in the West as bastions of perversion and pedophilia for portraying extremely young girls in erotic situations. A person who looks at pictures of fictional little girls isn't necessarily sexually attracted to them. What if (s)he finds them cute? Despite the obvious flaws in the anti-eroge constituency, they continue to claim that eroge are sad, cartoon versions of sex for manchildren that promote rape, pedophilia, and abuse towards women. The logic used seems quite silly, because then people who enjoy killing or raping in games would be classified as murderers/rapists in real life. Come on. It's a fantasy, it's inside your head. Get educated. I recommend Kana: Little Sister, Rape Academy 2, or Crescendo to start with.

(You're a VT.)

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Dick Vitale, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Dick Vitale.

You were a sports broadcaster, but now you spend your time in the B-Ball dimension. You don't really have any powers, unless losing all of your money on keno is a power. But hey, can always count on the kindness of strangers, am I right? Heh, heh, heh. Anyway, you've decided to take a break from your normal routine of playing keno and sippin on 'aid to go lynch some Jammers. You think vaguely they might want to blow up the B-Ball Dimension or something? This game's conflict is not very well defined.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Matt Guokas, VT

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Matt Guokas.

You used to be Charles Barkley's coach, but now you just live in the B-Ball Dimension and spend your time working at the B-Ball Ranch. You love your job there. By carefully feeding, training, and playing with a B-Ball, you can have it grow into a fine, upstanding specimen. Some people like to raise them as pets, some battle them in the B-Ball arena, some just dribble, but you? Well, you just like the comfort of a well-trained B-Ball every now and then. It takes real talent to bring a B-Ball up right, but you have it in you.

It goes without saying, of course, that this has absolutely no mechanical benefit. But the admiration of a bouncing baby B-ball is its own reward.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: Micheal Jordan, Goon

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Micheal Jordan.

While you were the legendary baller that saved Earth during the terrifying crisis of the Space Jam, you have since then realized the horrors B-Ball can inflict. A Chaos Dunk...you can't let something like this go unpunished. You still love the game, but it's nessacary to quell the Slammers before they get out of control. It's time to

Jam.

Factional Ability: Welcome to the Jam

You have a QT here where you can talk to your scumbuddy during night only.

Factional Ability: Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am

Each night, you may choose one player to kill. Only one Jam aligned player can use this per night.

Factional Ability: B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S.

Your connections with B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. have enabled you to kill Balthios. Now, you may assume his identity.

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

Balthios.

The great-grandson son of Lebron James, your dedication to B-Ball is obvious. And team Slam is the b-ball aligned team. I know Jamming is also a thing people do with b-balls and you'd be excused for confusing them, but Slam aligned is what you are. With your mastery of Zauber's, you--

forgot the Zaubers. You forgot the fucking zaubers BALTHIOS YOU HAD ONE JOB. BRING THE ZAUBERS. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. TOO BUSY WRITING SHITTY POEMS TO BRING THE ZAUBERS.

YOU'RE A VT HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

You are

Jam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Jam

aligned and at least one

Jam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Spoiler: The Diabeastie, Lengthy Roleblocker

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa. You are

The Diabeastie.

You are an being of pure sugar that gives people Diabetes. What is your motivation? Why are you Jam aligned? Who knows! People have investigated, but all they figured out is that now they have diabetes. And, like, you could have told them that.

Factional Ability: Welcome to the Jam

You have a QT here where you can talk to your scumbuddy during night only.

Factional Ability: Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am

Each night, you may choose one player to kill. Only one Jam aligned player can use this per night.

Active Ability: Sugar Storm

Instead of killing, you may choose to use this ability. Target player will get Diabetes, roleblocking them this Night and the next Day. Target player will be informed they have Diabetes, but only if they have an active ability. You know this resolves absolutely first in role resolution.

Factional Ability: Diabetic Coma

You put

J. Lindsay

into a coma and are now free to claim her on account of she died from all of the diabetes she had.

Welcome to hitogoroshi and Tales Of Game's Studios Present Mini 1381: Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: Mafia: Chapter One of the Hoopz Barkley Mafia SaGa.

J. Lindsay

. You're a kitsune who lives in Cesspool X. Animals are your favorite thing. In fact, you don't even mind their feces. You enjoy hunting small animals. Also, you love all of your friends in Cesspool X. That's literally all of the details you have in the source, so there you go. Hope you enjoy your animal shit.

You are

Slam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Slam

aligned and at least one

Slam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

You are

Jam

aligned. You win when all living players are

Jam

aligned and at least one

Jam

aligned player is currently alive. Please confirm by responding to this PM with your role name.

Actions

D1 Vi dunks Gamma
N1 Kanye docs Vi, MattP kils Nacho
N2 Kanye docs MattP, MattP kills Benmage
N3 Kanye docs himself, MattP kills Vi
N4 Kanye docs Hircine, MattP kills Hircine

[hitogoroshi]

anyway, hope you kids enjoyed it. It was nice to break from my usual really stuffy modding style and just share some b-ball facts. probably last hito game there will be for a while.

[hitogoroshi]

I'll at least post in Upcoming Games whenever I'm ready for my next game, so stay on top of that and you'll know when I do a new game.

If you're curious, the reason I'm taking a modding break is because I am designing a party game called Citizens of Earth for a contest, and all of my creative energy is going into that for November - at which point, it's finals and then the holidays.

Also, in a week I'm going to hang out in Chicago with Nacho and Jase. B)