The GLOBE and MAIL
Issue 6.0
ER's Head Surgeon found Headless!
Diligent to the end, the local hospital's chief resident surgeon, Tigris,
was found near an operating room, facedown in her own blood, a victim of a
brutal gun murder. Forensic scientists have noted that the size of the exit
wound, which removed most of the back of the doctor's head, indicated a
large caliber weapon and a very close proximity attack. The doctor is
believed to have died instantly.
Investigators are not speculating as to how the murderer entered and exited
the busy hospital without being noticed, although they have sealed off the
entrances and are questioning patients and staff. This looks like another
gun murder that may never be solved, in a series of brazen attacks that
have crippled our poor town.
Tigris, expert surgeon (INNOCENT), has been shot. The Expert Surgeon was
given a list of all people about to die every night, and could choose to
save one of them, up to three times during the game. The town would not be
notified.
Another Kidnapper dies of Assault
A prolonged battle with an unknown assailant finally led to untrod tripod's
demise last night, when the rash of beatings he endured proved to be to
much for his weakening body. Untrod Tripod, a admitted member of the Band
of Kidnappers, and previous victim of assault, was found beaten to death in
his home last night.
The police were ready to add this murder to the growing list of dead
kidnappers, until a forensic scientist noted a disturbing amount of
paraphernalia around the house that might indicate ties to another group.
Indeed, untrod tripod was sporting numerous mysterious tattoos, depicting,
as we are told, "strange symbols and characters". The police are baffled by
this turn of events.
untrod tripod, Kidnapper (INNOCENT) and member of "mysterious group"
(UNKNOWN ALLEGIANCE), was beaten to death.
ALIENS AMONG US!!!
Unnamed sources deep within the FBI have confirmed that aliens have indeed
landed in our fair town, and are kidnapping citizens for unknown purposes.
However, they don't believe that the aliens pose any threat to the populace
at large.
Alien spokesbeing Gaspode said "Why are you worrying about us harmless
aliens and our nefarious plans when you have insane homicidal maniacs,
bloodthirsty mobsters, and incurable plagues ravishing your city? We're
just trying to get to know you. If you don't believe us, we have this book
you can read, entitled
How to Serve Man
..."*
*Quote may not be exact. The Globe and Mail doesn't really regret the error.
Virus epidemic contained... for now!
mith and jeep, two townspeople strongly suspected of carrying the deadly
virus, seem to be recovering from the effects. Late night check-ups
revealed the virus seems to have been eliminated from their systems.
On a related note, an autopsy on the serial killer, God, revealed that he
too had been infected, and was about to display symptoms and become
infectious. It seems the town dodged numerous bullets last night. Oops.
That's insensitive...
Strange Purple Light Witnessed by Dozens
Shortly after sunset, the evening sky was illuminated by a dull purple
light. The source of the light could not be determined during the short
span of time it lasted, but at least a few witnesses are sure it was
localized over this town. The local meteorologist could not explain the
phenomenon, and inquiries are being placed to various national-level
officials. Hopefully satellite imagery will supply an explanation.
Council in power, despite dwindling town numbers
Elections in 3 neighbourhoods last night filled 3 council positions. In
downtown, untrod tripod was elected, with no vice. Unfortunately, untrod
tripod also passed away last night. In uptown, mathcam was elected, with no
vice. Dourgrim was successfully elected in Westside. mathcam and Dourgrim join Porro and
the mayor on council, and the council will hold office today.
Elections will be conducted tonight in downtown.
Playoffs begin tomorrow night!
The final games of the regular season were held last night, with the
WestSide Canucks defeating the downtown Maple Leafs 2-0. The EastSide
Canadians tied the Uptown Senators 2-2 in their final match.
Final standings will be released later today.
15 people alive and well. 8 to lynch. Three councilors and the mayor to
lynch.