So this is the only version of the first song that I could find that was good, but it also had another song added to it. Well, two for the price of one. I wasn't planning on submitting the other song in a future contest anyway, but it's a great addition.
I've sung this song quite a lot for the past year and a half. There was this girl in high school which was really helpful to me when I was struggling in the first year with a new group. (for those who don't know, I have social struggles). She even was my 'buddy' at some point. We could get along well and I was really glad that I got her as a pal.
And then things changed. The second year with this new group (also my last year of high school), I quickly fell in love with her. Her beauty, her intelligence, her personality, it was all so inspiring and charming and at the same time overwhelming and frightening to me. Some sort of jealousy, maybe, as I wasn't happy with who I was and what I did.
That's where it went wrong. We started to grow apart, I chose another 'buddy' (who is still my best buddy as of speaking), I started to speak to her less... I never chatted with her during lunch breaks. She always hung out with her friends.
I couldn't handle these feelings of love which I had never experienced before, at least, not so crushing. I noticed with every word I said to her that I felt so ashamed just sitting next to her with no one else around. I guess that's what separated us more.
When I had the intuition that I might lose contact with her, all I wanted to show her was that I was grateful for our friendship and that I knew that my love wasn't possible as she didn't love me back. But I guess I gave her the wrong signals.
The bigger that feeling of separation got, the more I started to freak out in high school. I had a time-out card for when I didn't feel comfortable in class, well, I tell ya, I used it a lot in the last few months. At one point, I didn't even show it to the teachers anymore, I just ran out, threw over a chair and slammed the door back with tears in my eyes. That's also why at one point the school direction decided it was better for me to stay at home for a while because everybody who saw it was shocked.
Today, she's no longer a part of my life. We're living our own lives now, quite a few miles apart. I had to say a sorrowful goodbye to her. The things I said to her, mostly, along the lines of 'I wish you all the best of luck in your future' and 'you will always stay with me in my mind, in my heart'.
I still miss her very much to this day, and I hope with all hope that I get to see her beautiful smile again some time. In the meantime, I'm singing this song about once a week, when I'm going for a stroll, or under the shower, or when no one's home in my room. I sang it a lot in the last few weeks of high school and during final exam week.
Do I sing it to her? Well, not always, sometimes I just sing it to myself to settle with my thoughts for her and sorrow, and sometimes I just sing it because it's a helluva good song. I hope you guys will like it as much as I do, but for me, there's some personal stuff going behind it, and I just wanted to share that with you, and the beauty of this song.
In my eyes, this song is as beautiful as the girl I love so much.
![:]](./images/smilies/icon_smiling.png "Cheerful Smile")
Last edited by vizIIsto on Mon Nov 11, 2019 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.Currently away from site for indeterminate time (except for Song Contest)
Currently away from site for indeterminate time (except for Song Contest)