RISE OF THE UNICORN BRETHREN

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RISE OF THE UNICORN BRETHREN

Post Post #0 (ISO) » Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:38 pm

Post by ReaperCharlie »

Image

~ THE TALE OF THE UNICORN BRETHREN, PT. 1 ~


In the beginning was the Horn. And the Horn knew that it was—not just good; it was
awesome
.
One bright sunny day, the Horn deigned to fashion an equestrian mammal to ferry itself around.
And the Horn planted itself into the horse's forehead, and at that moment, history was written.
This ultimate being came into existence, and this being became known as THE FIRST UNICORN.

And all of the other beasts of the ground and fowl of the air paid homage to this glorious beast.
It came to pass that evil came into the world, and thus the mighty Unicorn wept with jealousy.
Not jealousy of evil, but jealousy of the world before evil entered it. Yes, it was a paradox, but
that kind of detail did not matter to The Unicorn. And so he wept freely and without any shame.

And it also came to pass that a strange race known only as the Covenant rained down from the
skies in metal birds, carrying flaming swords and destroying all in their path. And thus, much of
what the Unicorn knew and loved came to be destroyed. In righteous anger, the mighty Unicorn
decided to recreate the world in a flash of brilliance. And thus, the Unicorn Brethren came to be.

The Unicorn Brethren fought the Covenant with with own horns (not Horns, for there is only one
true Horn, which rests with the One True Unicorn), and though for a time it appeared that they
might fall before the mighty onslaught of the evil Covenant, they eventually found ways in which
to begin to fight back against the Dark Race of the Unknown. Behold, they created the MJOLNIR.

And the MJOLNIR was strong, nigh impenetrable, and the Unicorn Brethren wore it and fought the
Covenant gallantly. But their numbers dwindled in the absence of the One True Unicorn. For that
blessed being had withdrawn himself, to the Fortress of the Inner Horn, and had shielded all the
innocents from the wake of destruction that the Covenant visited upon them. And so, they wept.

But then one pointed to the sky (with his horn of noble honour), and neighed so that others might
listen, and take heart. For an entirely new regiment of Unicorn Warrior Brethren poured forth from
a rift in the sky, chanting with vigor and full of life. As their manes swayed in the mighty wind, the
sky grew dark with horror. The Covenant had amassed as one. Would the brave Unicorns survive?
Show
"Take me to Pleasure Town!" "Look, the most Glorious Rainbow Ever!" "Do me on it!" -

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Post Post #1 (ISO) » Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:57 pm

Post by Thestatusquo »

Seriously, what the hell is your fucking problem?
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Post Post #2 (ISO) » Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:52 pm

Post by Oman »

Shea wrote:funkmasterfritzy: I am going to get a girl unicorn
funkmasterfritzy: who fucks boy horses with her horn


Lawl! Seriously RC what the fuck?
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Post Post #3 (ISO) » Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:58 pm

Post by tanstalas »

lol
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Post Post #4 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:24 am

Post by chesskid3 »

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/thread
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Post Post #5 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:26 am

Post by tanstalas »

chesskid3 wrote:Image
/thread
He's just sleeping
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Post Post #6 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:28 am

Post by chesskid3 »

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Post Post #7 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:36 am

Post by Kublai Khan »

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Occasionally intellectually honest

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Post Post #8 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:44 am

Post by DrippingGoofball »

White is the worst camouflage color ever against flowers and rainbows. No wonder they're extinct.
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Post Post #9 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:48 am

Post by chesskid3 »

tl:dr Reach got glassed and all the Unicorns died there lolz
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Post Post #10 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 2:53 am

Post by Kublai Khan »

DrippingGoofball wrote:White is the worst camouflage color ever against flowers and rainbows. No wonder they're extinct.
Plus the constant rainbows imply that it's a very wet conditions, probably swampy. Malaria probably wiped them out.
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Post Post #11 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:15 am

Post by DrippingGoofball »

Or, judging by the historical photograph provided by ReaperCharlie, mercilessly hunted to death by bloodthirsty bands of Yellow-Bellied Unicorn-Eating Chickadees.
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Post Post #12 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:32 am

Post by Fritzler »

Guys, Unicorns exist and I am going to get one. Then you're all going to be jealous when I ride it around.
Surfs up dude.
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Post Post #13 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:42 am

Post by Knight of Cydonia »

Yeah, you "ride" that "unicorn" all day.
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Post Post #14 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:55 am

Post by Thestatusquo »

Note: Signature.
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Post Post #15 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 12:28 pm

Post by xRECKONERx »

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Post Post #16 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 12:49 pm

Post by Oman »

Pretty sure with all the faggotry hanging around here, this thread will be "guttered" in minutes.
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Post Post #17 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 1:00 pm

Post by Fritzler »

Guys, you are hatin'. Unicorns are awesome.

Completely unrelated, the first video here, may be my new favorite Glee song.
Surfs up dude.
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Post Post #18 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 1:22 pm

Post by gandalf5166 »

This thread is awesome.
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Post Post #19 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:27 pm

Post by DeathRowKitty »

OMG UNICORNS!!!!!

I'm too lazy to actually read the OP, but it has a unicorn in it, which makes it awesome. <3
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Post Post #20 (ISO) » Sat Dec 04, 2010 3:42 pm

Post by tanstalas »

Fritzler wrote:Guys, you are hatin'. Unicorns are awesome.

Completely unrelated, the first video here, may be my new favorite Glee song.
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Post Post #21 (ISO) » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:34 am

Post by DTMaster »

Occupation change: Unicorn hunter time.
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Post Post #22 (ISO) » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:40 am

Post by DemonHybrid »

I, for one, find this thread fucking hilarious.
This account is no longer being used.

You want this one.
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Post Post #23 (ISO) » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:48 am

Post by chesskid3 »

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Post Post #24 (ISO) » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:58 am

Post by gandalf5166 »

I only just bothered to actually read the OP. fucking hilarious.
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