A Lack of Common Courtesy: A Mini-Essay On Social Norms
I've noticed, lately, that people seem to have been more disrespectful of others. I don't know if this is deliberate or unintentional, but I do know it hasn't popped up overnight, and it's really started to bother me. Now, some may think, "well whoopidy doo, I don't care", and that's sort of sad, because this article is probably meant for you. Rest assured, I know I'm not the only one that's had many of the thoughts I'm going to share with you today, so pull up a chair, and listen to what Uncle Thespy has to say, if you're so inclined, and if you care.
1. Being a troll is not a worthwhile endeavor.
Regardless of what some people may think, being a troll is neither productive nor interesting. I've seen more than one member who used to be interesting and witty, who have degenerated by now into being a troll, saying things only for the purpose of antagonizing others. It's not cute, nor funny, nor does anyone think more highly of you for trolling. Get over yourself. Please.
2. Cursing frequently in a public forum is disrespectful to the sensibilities of the larger community.
Let me also pre-empt the semantics debate (which seeks to say, "But language means nothing, it's just words!") by saying, words are significant, and anyone who wishes to assert the contrary ought to commuicate only by saying "da" from now on. Furthermore, curse words are so designed and acknowledged by society in general as being offensive and disrespectful. (Thus is the distinction between the words "poop" and "sh*t". To assert that the words are identical is self-derision and not acknowledging how communication and language works.) I can understand the occasional curse word, yet I have seen a strong uptick in swearing and offensive language lately that bothers me. (They
especially bother me in signatures
- as I have to see them everywhere!) I don't perceive this as a good thing, and personally feel it's a sign of an increase of general lack of respect for many members of the community. (I've also noticed that younger members who use such "adult language" often use it to show off how grown up they are, when it tends to reinforce the opposite
maturity level in my mind.) Offensive speech is also not limited just to curse words, please note.3. Personal attacks just aren't cool.
I've also seen a lot more personal attacks lately. You may think you're cool for putting someone else down, and heck, others may think you're cool for picking on someone. It's juvenile. Get over yourself.
4. Please be mindful that there are a lot of people who read these forums. Show some class.
Now, some people say they don't care what other people think. (If this was truly the case, they woudn't bother telling us that they don't care what we think.) However, if you are one of those people who really thinks they enjoy antagonizing people for the sake of antagonism, perhaps you need to step back and do some serious self-reflection. If you're directing your comment to one person, perhaps it's better saved for a PM. If you're using language that's customary for you and your friend that's not socially tolerable to the larger community, perhaps you ought to consider making such conversation in a private arena.
I know you can't make everyone happy all the time, and I'm not asking for that. I'm asking for you to be tolerable. Fortunately, most of you are! That's great! There are a select few whom I hope hear this message, and stop and think about who they are. If you really don't care how I think (or are opposed to my views expressed here), I'll live. At the same time, please acknowledge that there are many others who feel very similarly to how I feel, and there is a greater community which may be harmed by consistent disrespect for others. Some people have suggested implementing some sort of code of conduct, which is not what I'm suggesting at all. However, that desire to implement such a code is borne out of a frustration from seeing a beloved community overrun by mindless, offensive content, and I understand where that sentiment comes from. What I hope for is that we all take a step back, look at how what we do is impactful on people we may not even realize we care about, and move on from there.
If you don't care about me or the many others who share this viewpoint, you don't have to tell me that. I'll already be able to tell.
Thanks for your time.
