In post 1173, MonkeyMan576 wrote:
In post 1166, Brandi wrote:uhhh how does that even remotely argue with the idea that online relationships are real
obviously if someones going to cheat on/leave someone they are going to do it no matter the methods/avenue they take to get there
that's just a bizarrely irrelevant thing to ask
Obviously asking hard questions merits a lot of backlash here. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to get to the bottom of the real issues that a lot of people are sidestepping. Obviously this is going to rub some people the wrong way, but avoiding the real issues does not solve the problem. If you want to act like the online medium does not create or foster some of the issues that people experience, than go right ahead, but that is a pretty naïve attitude in my opinion. It's like asking why sports figures have a tendancy to have violent personal lives or why politicians have a tendancy to get involved in financial quandaries.
People aren't saying that the internet doesn't have unique relationship problems that real life doesn't have. They ARE saying that that doesn't mean it is any less real or the relationships you form are any less valid. That's like saying "I know everyone is a big fan of cars, but I think they create and foster a lot of issues in terms of transportation avoided by walking, what with gridlock and traffic jams and crosswalks" and somehow extrapolating that into "Therefore cars are an inferior form of travel". No, it's just different.
The internet is not perfect for forming relationships for many of the reasons you stated. Real life is not perfect for forming relationships, for many of the reasons you have decided to glaze over when implying that real life is so superior. If only there was a way to use both in proportion to how well their strengths and weaknesses correlate to your needs...
And most of the backlash you are getting is when you try to justify your position by rationalizing other people's interpersonal troubles were the result of computers instead of the people using them.
MonkeyMan576 wrote: In post 1174, kuribo wrote:You sound like the Unabomber or a 90 year old man when you blame the Internet for everything
I realize I probably sound that way but I am trying to play the
devil's advocate
. It's like trying to tell a group of professional poker players that gambling can lead to addiction.
I don't know what made you to think that a thread where people are emotionally working through one of the members of their forum was a pedophile that was already contentious was the place for saying things in a combative way just to see how people respond to them, but it SERIOUSLY mislead you.
