oh, how the mighty have fallen

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Post Post #25 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 3:19 am

Post by lalaladucks »

one bite it.... went in............

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Post Post #26 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 3:31 am

Post by PokerFace »

There are parts of this thread that could go into the without context thread...
When I joined this site, I was a software tester for mobile business applications and the song PokerFace was not yet written by Lady Gaga
Now I test lottery and gambling software as my job. It's funny how my life has turned out. Somewhere a Time Traveler is laughing madly
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Post Post #27 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 3:35 am

Post by lalaladucks »

oh friend you are behind the times
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Post Post #28 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 3:38 am

Post by lalaladucks »

seeds. eugh.
the one who convinced me to eat an apple is somewhat of an apple connoisseur and reckons that the middle bit of the core right near the seeds pretty much isn't even apple any more... would agree with that based on this experience.

final verdict: 2/10 not worth

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Post Post #29 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 5:12 pm

Post by N »

you're supposed to post pictures before you eat haven't you ever instagrammed
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Post Post #30 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 5:16 pm

Post by Majiffy »

This thread went from weird parody to even weirder softcore foodie smut.

I'm certain some will call it art, but it is nothing more than sinful, unholy filth.
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Post Post #31 (ISO) » Thu May 26, 2016 5:17 pm

Post by Accountant »

i need an adult
There's nothing that says that a fake can't beat the real thing.

You must not imagine that for beings like you and us there can be laughter. The low men laugh, and we envy them. But for us, the higher ones, there is no laughter, only an unending vigil, purely serious, stretching on into the night.
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Post Post #32 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 9:37 am

Post by Zulfy »

Okay I can't handle this
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Post Post #33 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 9:48 am

Post by lalaladucks »

you're not ready for this jelly?
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Post Post #34 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 9:49 am

Post by Kublai Khan »

Maybe the problem is that lala doesn't know how to eat an apple?
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Post Post #35 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 9:53 am

Post by lalaladucks »

ahem i know how to eat an apple... i usually ignore the butthole, i've heard that's the best course of action
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Post Post #36 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 10:19 am

Post by Zulfy »

Alright it's become apparent that since some of us don't know the proper apple consumption procedures I'll have do like Prometheus and share my ancient knowledge.

Observe:


Spoiler: First we obtain the apple, firmly grasp this apple in one hand
I recommend holding it from the top and bottom ends but this is not required.Image


Spoiler: Begin by biting around the bottom. The vertex of the apple will serve as leverage so as to help produce a clean cut from your bites
Image


Spoiler: Systematically make your way around the apple, doing your best to avoid the core for now
Image




Spoiler: Once the core is exposed, bite into that fucker with one decisive incision, make sure to not chew the seeds are they can have a rather bitter flavor that distracts from the apple's natural sweetness
Remember to align the apple core with your mouth
before
biting into it so as to not injure yourself. Image


The rest is pretty straightforward. Gnaw at what's left,
making absolutely certain you avoid biting the sticker
, nibble around it until it's all you have left.

Spoiler: This is all you should have left once you've finished
Notice how clean my hands remain. Now that's what I call a properly eaten apple!
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Lastly, make sure to dispose of the sticker as that is not something you want to be accidentally picking up and eating absentmindedly at a later time.

Spoiler: I myself decided to set it next to my desk for now
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Post Post #37 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 10:20 am

Post by Raskolnikov »

WTF just peel the sticker off and rinse the thing.
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Post Post #38 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 10:49 am

Post by lalaladucks »

the stickers on apples are edible
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Post Post #39 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 1:09 pm

Post by Zulfy »

Blasphemy
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Post Post #40 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 1:18 pm

Post by Kublai Khan »

In post 38, lalaladucks wrote:the stickers on apples are edible
Not really.
http://www.snopes.com/fruit-stickers-edible/
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Post Post #41 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 1:20 pm

Post by Zulfy »

How dare anyone question my methods
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Post Post #42 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 8:29 pm

Post by Accountant »

I usually slice the apple up, put them into a bowl and eat them with a fork so I don't get my hands dirty.
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Post Post #43 (ISO) » Fri May 27, 2016 8:34 pm

Post by SleepyKrew »

apple slices are good but cmon use your hands
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Post Post #44 (ISO) » Sat May 28, 2016 12:23 am

Post by Zulfy »

Slice your apples

Put them in tub

Lime it up

Two teaspoons salt
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Post Post #45 (ISO) » Sun Mar 25, 2018 5:00 pm

Post by lalaladucks »

i forgot that i accidentally ate an apple butthole one time and someone reminded me and linked me this thread. 2016 lalaladucks! what an adventure
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Post Post #46 (ISO) » Sun Mar 25, 2018 7:19 pm

Post by Raskolnikov »

does the thought of eating one of those apple stickers and having it stick to the side of your throat not make anyone else gag?
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Post Post #47 (ISO) » Mon Mar 26, 2018 5:51 am

Post by vonflare »

ego, this thread is going places
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