Simon was a good boy. Mother gave him rules, and he always followed them.
The first rule was to stay away from the golden place.
But why, he asked. It was so pretty. Most of the time it hid from Simon, but when Mother came down, up above opened, and then the golden place was there again. Even though it was so shiny that it hurt his eyes, he could squeeze them so they didn't hurt as much and see a colour that Mother called blue. Sometimes, he would get on his tippy toes and raise his hand, and it felt warm, like a friend he'd never met.
Little boys shouldn't go up there, said Mother. It's dangerous.
Okay, said Simon. So he stayed in his home, in the dark, covered in dirt and with the creepy crawlies as his best friends.
The second rule was to be quiet when the noises came.
Most days, this was easy. Because he was always quiet. There was no one to talk to, except for the creepy crawlies, and sometimes Mother. The only time it got hard was when the noises above got very loud. Because then he'd get scared, so he had to bury his mouth in his arms and hide his crying.
Long ago, when Simon was smaller, he wasn't good at hiding it. He would make a lot of noise, and Mother would be mad. Mother said if someone found him, something terrible would happen. So he learned. He didn't want to be bad. When he was bad, the chains came out, and the needle that made his head all fuzzy, and the cotton rag in his mouth so he couldn't cry out.
The last rule was to get in the cage when it was time for meals.
Snacks were fine anywhere. Mother brought him things called apples and strawberries, cucumbers and carrots, and they would eat those together. Sometimes, when Simon was very good, she brought him treats. Simon's favourite treat was cakes. Those were so yummy. It all came from the golden place. Simon wished he could go and get cakes whenever he wanted from the golden place too. But the ladder always came and went with Mother. Besides, only bad boys went there. And Simon was good.
But meals were different. He knew that it was mealtime when he got very hungry. And Simon was so good now that Mother didn't even have to tell him what to do. She didn't need the needle that made his head fuzzy anymore, or the chains. As soon as he started to feel funny, he'd crawl into the cage, put the handcuffs on, and wait.
Whenever Mother came from the golden place and saw him in his cage, her hands got shaky. She would look silly, because her face would turn the colour of the inside of a cucumber. Then she'd say, you're such a good boy, Simon. And when Simon was only a bit very-hungry, he would say, thank you, Mother. When he was really very-hungry, so very-hungry it hurt, he would say, feed me you fucking bitch feed me feed me FEED ME.
Then Mother would go away for a long time, so long that sometimes, the hunger got really bad. And he would start chewing on the bars, or on his arms and legs until water the colour of strawberries came out. But Mother would always come back with a meal. It was never an apple or a strawberry or a cucumber or a carrot or a cake. It was something that wriggled a lot, like the creepy crawlies, except it was much bigger, and furry. And it would make funny noises. She would throw it into a hole in his cage.
Once Simon asked, Mother, why does my food make noises?
And Mother said nothing. Her eyes got watery, and she looked away.
His meals weren't yummy like the cakes. Actually, Simon could never remember what they tasted like at all.
So Simon stayed a good boy for a long time. He was so good that sometimes he got sad. Because he was all alone, and he had no one to play with. There was only just enough room for him to lie down. He spent all day walking back and forth, back and forth, or kicking the wall over and over again, or crying. And it was cold, so so so cold.
Then one day he heard noises.
Simon knew what to do. He buried his mouth in his arms, like a good boy.
But it was a noise he'd never heard before. It sounded a lot like his own voice.
And then Simon was bad. Simon was very bad.
He called out, Is someone there?
After awhile, the voice said, Who are you?
Are you Mother? You sound different.
I'm not a mother, said the voice. I'm only eight. Are you stuck?
Yes, said Simon.
Then something magical happened. Up above opened, and then a monster looked down at him.
Simon shrunk into a tiny ball and raised his arms and said, Please don't hurt me.
I'm not going to hurt you, said the thing. Why are you in a hole?
Simon said, Mother told me to stay here and I don't know how to leave. Are you from the golden place?
I'll get my mom, said the thing. What's your name?
Simon, he answered.
I'm Kylie, said the thing. Do you go to school?
Simon didn't know what a school was, so he said no.
Then it was quiet. The longer up above stayed open, the less shiny it got. Now he could see the blue without hurting his eyes.
Jesus, said another voice, one that sounded a lot like Mother but wasn't. I'll call the cops.
Everything was scary and strange. He moaned. He covered his ears.
It's okay, said the voice who wasn't Mother. Nothing will hurt you. How long have you been there?
Always, said Simon. I've never left.
The voice got all shaky. It said, What kind of sick freak would do this to a little kid?
Simon said, I feel funny.
It's okay, said the voice like Mother's. You poor thing. Are you hurt? I'll get you right away.
Something long and thin like the wriggly creepy crawlies fell. And then a person who looked a bit like Mother but wasn't Mother came down like it was a ladder.
But I'm hungry, said Simon. Mother says I should stay in my cage when I'm hungry.
Oh my God, said the person who wasn't Mother. I'm going to throw up. Come here.
Arms wrapped themselves around him. They pulled him up, up the long and thin ladder. Something about the warm arms made Simon's mouth water.
Simon started to get scared. No, he said, you don't understand. I'm hungry. I need to stay in my cage. I need to be good. Please. I'm hungry.
Hush, said the person who wasn't Mother. We'll get you food.
And then the person pulled Simon out, and he landed on something pointy that was the colour of broccoli. Above him was blue, lots and lots of blue. Everything was loud. So loud. Suddenly, the golden place wasn't pretty and warm and a friend he'd never met. It was sharp things that scratched at him, like the creepy crawlies that bit him sometimes. It was too open. It was too big. He couldn't be here. Not now. He needed his cage.
He heard Kylie say, What happened?
Someone very bad hurt this boy, said the person who wasn't Mother. And we're going to help him.
It hurts, said Simon. My stomach. It hurts. It hurts it hurts it hurts.
I'm here, honey. We'll call the doctor for you. We'll make it better.
The person wrapped its arm around Simon. And it smelled so juicy, so sweet and fresh, that Simon couldn't help it, Simon smiled.
He didn't understand why they both made such funny faces. The person who wasn't Mother took a step back.
Kylie asked, Why are your teeth so sharp?
The person who wasn't Mother grabbed Kylie. Yanked her away with thick, fleshy arms that jiggled tantalizingly.
They started running, and in the crisp air, the scent of their salty sweat was intoxicating.
And then it pounced, sinking its teeth into its prey, time to bite and rip the flesh and tear it to shreds, hear the crack of bones and taste the meat and suck the juicy blood and feed--
---
Mother wiped his face off with a cloth. Then she rocked him back and forth, stroking his forehead as Simon sucked his thumb. They were down below again.
Mother said, When you were born, you were the loveliest baby I ever saw. Such perfect white teeth and beautiful green eyes. And so well behaved, too. You slept soundly through the night. You never needed much milk, either. We found the rats, but I thought they were because of that cat, until it was the cat next. And then your father and I were scared, so scared. But we couldn't believe it. We didn't believe it until one day it was your brother.
Simon lowered his head, because he'd been bad.
Oh, Simon, said Mother. What am I to do with you?
Are you going to punish me, Mother, he asked.
Yes, said Mother. I'm sorry, Simon, but there's no other way. So Mother pulled out the needle, and also forceps.
When it was over, Simon had no more teeth, and everything hurt so much that he started to cry. Simon asked, Mother, do you hate me?
Of course not, said Mother. People tried to take you away from me, after what happened to your brother. People wanted to hurt you so bad that you wouldn't wake up again. But it's not your fault. You didn't put the monster in you. I know that you're a good boy. Whenever you smile at me, I see it.
Simon said, Mother, it hurts.
I know, Simon. It won't be so bad, you'll see. I'll mash your food up for you. It won't fill you up the same, when it's not moving. But there's no choice. But please be good, Simon. You have to be good. Otherwise I can't keep protecting you.
Simon asked, Mother, do you love me?
Mother said, Simon, I love you so much that I would die for you. One day I will die for you, and I don't even care.
