=== TIER: Clear front-runners are quite clear
(12) Albania -- God Module {Cross My Heart} -- This beat satisfies my gamer soul, and I really appreciate how everything escalates in the chorus. The vocal style works astonishingly well here. The lyrics are good but the inclusion of "fucking" has a real sense of "oopsie I said a bad word" and it kills it. Pretty much as always, I wish this went stronger. The outro is far too long. Placing this above the next pick frankly due to novelty bias; it's so hard to pick between the two and I'll feel unsatisfied either way @.@ 6.8/9
(10) Poland -- E-Dubble {What It Do} -- ...hey, mate, you're missing two lines in your chorus. That said, I don't know what it says about me that I kinda like this sort of rap. This is a little under my threshold for "would immediately listen to a second time", and it sort of feels like I'm not really the target audience for this, but I can get into it. 6.7/9
=== TIER: Creditable successes
(DQ) Netherlands -- Corry Konings {Ik Krijg Een Heel Apart Gevoel Van Binnen} -- I liked this song before it was uncool >:[ It's pretty catchy, and if the song ended near the two-minute mark I'd say this was produced really well, because the breakdown doesn't really work for me. The dancers who aren't the vocalist are legit af. Sadly I can't give this points because it will be disqualified for having already been submitted. (One more reminder: Together Forever exists.) 5.9/9 (possibly overrated)
(8) Portugal -- The Pink Spiders {Modern Swinger} -- Damn. Right up until the song got into full swing I was so ready to identify with it. The flow of these lyrics is really nice, and the musicianship is commendable, but--the lead singer's vocal style doesn't really work for me at all, and that emotionally hurts because it feels like I would have rated this first place otherwise. 5.8/9 (possibly underrated?)
=== TIER: Try weird things, miss target a bit
(7) Costa Rica -- Magma {Udu Wudu} -- This three-note piano vamp may never leave my ears. Some part of me wants to believe that this is a bunch of samples thrown together "artistically" rather than any kind of live performance. It's kind of annoying but somehow I don't actually find it offensive and I have NO IDEA HOW. I feel like if it weren't trying so hard to be artistic it could have been cool enough for my mainstream ears to appreciate it, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose? 5.3/9
(6) South Korea -- SuperM {Jopping} -- This is definitely a song that would be way better if I didn't understand the lyrics. I really like the beat but the vocals aren't really... nasty? enough to match, so it kind of comes across as posing. But I guess it couldn't be K-pop if it wasn't how it is... I appreciate the energy nonetheless. 5.1/9
== TIER: It's getting difficult to listen to things
(5) Greenland -- The Airborne Toxic Event {The Graveyard Near The House} -- White-guy-with-guitar-attempting-to-emote, but actually kind of decent. The lyrics are okay, but didn't land on me. Feels much longer than it is. 4.75/9
(4) Mauritania -- Alien Weaponry {Kai Tangata} -- Maori thrash metal?? I'm glad this was submitted no matter what. The guitar-to-chords ratio is very heavy IMO; there's only so much of one note that I can take and it's exceeded within seven minutes. The video is most of the appeal of this entry tbh; I have no comprehension of how these people can stick so much of their tongues out of their mouths. 4.4/9
== TIER: Music that exists I guess
(3) Bhutan -- きのこ帝国 {パラノイドパレード} -- This doesn't actually leave an impression with me. A vamp in the background and a small vocal range. It seems like standard indie rock, but with a feminine flavor and an unusual language. 4.1/9
(2) Lebanon -- Angelo De Augustine {Time (Reservoir Session)} -- Confession: I have only heard of Sufjan Stevens as a name without knowing anything about them. This is very white-guy-with-guitar-attempting-to-emote so it bounces right off me. I don't really find it offensive or poor-quality, just not for me. It's not something I want to listen to intently. 4/9
(1) Sweden -- Vintersorg {Fjallets maktiga mur} -- I appreciate how this song lets you get 25 seconds of false impressions. This voice is surprisingly unfitting, and it feels like it takes a lot of the power out of it. The growling doesn't really make it more powerful, and the vocals get progressively more distractingly dubious as the entry goes on. It feels like the most disappointing entries in every contest are the metal songs I don't like :/ 3.8/9
== TIER: like actually what
USA -- Retirement Party {Are You My Mother?} -- 3.2/9 (possibly underrated)
Djibouti -- Spiritbox {Bleach Bath} -- 2.75/9
Greece -- Regina Spektor {Ode to Divorce} -- 2/9
Macau -- Joji {SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK} -- 1.9/9
Iran -- Chance the Rapper {Paranoia} -- 0.9/9
Pakistan -- Atif Aslam {Pehli Dafa} -- As I asserted in the beginning, it's a song I'm one step removed from loathing (and also one Parama hates). The truth is that I find Bollywood and everything that comes with it to be noxious... except for some of the music. And if I understood the lyrics to said music, I'd hate that too. But since I don't, have a guy with a nice voice.
I haven't really thought about what I would rate this. It's between 6 and 7, probably. I wanted to see if I could out-inflate Pie in the mediocre-but-listenable department with something that's more my style. It's very smooth and not at all challenging to listen to, and there's a place for that in a Song Contest series that tends to jump between metal and... whatever some of that stuff was last time. It achieves what it sets out to do and doesn't disappoint along the way. This will probably do all right.
The song that actually drew my attention to Aslam is more recent,
O Saathi. I went back and forth on which one would make for a better submission, and I think in the end I made the right choice in terms of musical quality, but I decided that I wouldn't subject everyone to one of the most offensively douchey music videos I've ever had to sit through. That's how much respect I have for you all. <3 (But if you liked my submission, click on it and then click away, because this guy can sustain some syllables like a boss.)
