PUNCHline - final joke posted - who won?

[pablito]

Phase:

Round 20

Actions:

Nothing?

Deadline:

Not really

Current Joke:

N -

Leaderboard:

Player	Points	Size of deck
Felissan	1	13
N	3	14
Lady Lambdadelta**	3	14
SleepyKrew	6	17
xofelf**	4	15
Cheery Dog	3	15

[pablito]

“Hello ladies and gentlemen and thanks for coming out tonight. It’s so great to see so many of you want to spend your hard earned cash that you’ve earned working the corners and in illicit bathroom stall transactions, and you know in the baby black market. I know these kinds of things because I’m your people. OOooohhheee, cause I’m *JUST ANOTHER LOSER FROM QUEENS* And you know what they say about people from Queens right?

Right?

Right?

‘GoGurt’”

*crickets*

“Errr...this is a TOUGH audience I see! Let me play a different card, sorry. Let me try again. And you know what they say about people from Queens right?

Right?

Right?

‘The Three-Fifths Compromise!’”

*crickets*

Oh sh……..

Welcome to the world of stand-up comedy! You are an up and coming comedian with a few choice catchphrases and punchlines that have absolutely killed during your jokes with your friends at house parties with an audience of two. Now you just need to try them out at open mic nights and see what works with an audience of...five, if you’re lucky enough that the place is having drink specials, eight if the bartender’s friends come along. However, being an up and coming comedian, you don’t really want to try out too many new punchlines as you really want yours to stick. (Also, you’re not that great of a comedian...yet.) However, you also know that other comedians at open mic nights are just itching at the chance to steal your punchlines (Because, they’re not great of a comedian either). Slowly, but surely, your arsenal of punchlines will grow and you’ll pray that something actually gets you a laugh, maybe enough to get seen by Lorne Michaels. If your punchlines win you the most jokes, you win this game.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/the ... teM98oaQvp

This is a game based on “cards against humanity” but instead of drawing a hand of pre-written white cards and always adding new cards from a communal deck, you, as the player, will write your own punchlines and keep them. This is a deck-building game meaning that you will maintain your own personal deck from which you draw your cards. As such, you will continue to draw your own punchlines into your hand. As you win the black cards from judges, you will also place these into your deck. You are also allowed to burn the black cards to complete special actions. Not only do you need to be witty enough to win the jokes, you have to also maintain your deck very well to ensure that you have winning punchlines.

[pablito]

Overall Rules

• Players must obey Site Rules at all times. If the mod determines that a player has submitted something not within site rules, s/he will be advised to change the response.
• 4-6 players can play at any time. If for any reason the player number goes below 4, the game will end immediately and a winner is announced. Normal win is obtained when any single player has obtained 6 joke cards in his/her own deck.
• Much like Cards against Humanity - there are two turn phases - Judge phase and Punchline phase. One player will be a judge during a turn while all others will be in the punchline phase and will privately/anonymously submit a punchline to the joke. All judge actions are announced in thread and are public, all punchline submissions are private and are PMed to the mod.

Cards

• Each player starts with 6 starter cards,
  two
  one “PUNCH” cards, and two “line” cards. As the game goes on, players will add new cards and the deck will continue to build.
• Starter cards - once played during the Punchline phase - a player will write their own response on the card. Once a starter card is played during a turn, it will be returned to the discard pile for that player. Once a punchline is written, it cannot be erased from the card and it will continue in play unless “burned” (see action phase).
• “PUNCH” cards - once played during the Judge phase - a player may take any of their punchlines in hand and switch it with a random punchline from a player’s hand of their choice. If the player of choice does not have any punchlines in his/her current hand, then the Judge must choose a different player.
• “line” cards - once played during the Judge phase - a player may add a new starter card to their hand.

Judge Phase

• During the Judge phase - the player will first draw from the deck to obtain five cards in hand, then play an action then will judge a joke.
• Public actions: playing a “PUNCH” card, playing a “line” card, discard, or burning card(s) (48 hr deadline)
• Discard a “PUNCH” card - a player may take any of their punchlines in hand and switch it with a random punchline from a player of their choice.
• Discard a “line” card - a player may add a new starter card to their hand for a total of
  5
  6 cards.
• Discard a punchline - a player may draw a new card from the deck.
• Burn 1 joke card - this will incur a loss of one point, but the player may buy a new “PUNCH” or “line” card to add to the discard pile.
• Burn 5 punchline cards - discard 5 punchline cards from the hand and/or discard pile and add a new starter card. Players may not burn punchline cards from the deck for this action.
• Judging the joke (48 hr deadline total - 24 hrs for players to submit, 24 hrs for judge to select): A player will take a joke from the joke pile - these are all the “black cards” from Cards against Humanity starter pack pdf file. The player will then receive punchlines from all players. These are all shuffled and the Judge will then select a punchline to win the joke. That player will be announced as winning the joke and will place the joke card into his/her deck. The owners of the other punchlines will not be announced.

Punchline Submission Phase

• During the Punchline phase - players will first draw cards from the deck to have five cards in hand. Upon a judge announcing the joke, the player may either play a punchline (or write a punchline from an unused starter card), or may discard any card (and therefore submit no punchline). A player who wins a joke will place this earned joke card into the discard pile.
• Each player has a shuffled deck, five cards in hand, and a discard pile. If a player must draw cards and has no more cards left in the deck, all cards in hand are discarded and the entire discard pile is re-shuffled and placed upon the deck face down. The player will draw
  five
  six new cards. Be aware that since this is a deck-building game, jokes that you have won will be added to your overall deck. As such, of the
  five
  six cards in hand, it is possible that you have
  five
  six joke/action cards in your hand and will have 0 punchlines available to play during a turn. Your punchlines will also build up and therefore it is important to remember when writing punchlines that they should be multi-purpose as you may need to use them for future jokes.
• The game will end when a single player has 6 joke cards in his/her deck.

Deadlines

Timeline for deadlines:
48 hrs simultaneously

• Judge - Judge selects action for self. Joke is announced by mod.
• Punchline - All players in punchline phase PM the mod choice of punchline or discard.

24 hrs

• Judge - Mod publicly announces all punchlines. Judge must select winning card. Mod announces owner of winning card and returns all punchlines to players’ discard piles. Mod will PM the hand of five cards.

Failure to act when required will lead to a strike. Three strikes means player is replaced and if no replacement obtained - will be modkilled and that deck is burned. If at any time all public actions are submitted early, the next phase will immediately go into effect and deadlines will be in effect whether or not the mod announces such. If at any time all private actions are submitted early and the judge has also completed his/her action, then the mod will advance to the next phase and deadlines will be changed as a result.

Spoiler: All possible joke cards

_________? There’s an app for that
Why can’t I sleep at night?
What’s that smell?
I got 99 problems but a _________ ain’t one.
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s _________.
What’s the next Happy Meal toy?
Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships _________.
It’s a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with _________.
During Picasso’s often-overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of _________.
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _________.
2: And the Academy Award for _________ goes to _________.
What’s that sound?
What ended my last relationship?
MTV’s new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with _________.
I drink to forget _________.
I’m sorry, Professor, but I couldn’t complete my homework because of _________.
What is Batman’s guilty pleasure?
This is the way the world ends \ This is the way the world ends \ Not with a bang but with _________.
What’s a girl’s best friend?
TSA guidelines now prohibit _________ on airplanes.
_________. That’s how I want to die.
2: For my next trick, I will pull _________ out of _________.
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with _________ for the first time.
2: _________ is a slippery slope that leads to _________.
What does ISIS prefer?
Dear Abby, I’m having trouble with _________ and would like your advice.
Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _________.
What’s the most emo?
In 1000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, _________ will be our currency.
2: What’s the next superhero/sidekick duo?
2: In M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that _________ had really been _________ all along.
A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without _________.
_________. Betcha can’t have just one!
White people like _________.
_________. High five, bro.
Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _________.
2: In a world ravaged by _________, our only solace is _________.
War! What is it good for?
During sex, I like to think about _________.
What are my parents hiding from me?
What will always get you laid?
In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for _________.
What did I bring back from Mexico?
What don’t you want to find in your Chinese food?
What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?
How am I maintaining my relationship status?
_________. It’s a trap!
Coming to Broadway this season, _________: The Musical.
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _________.
After Brexit, Donald Trump brought _________ to the people of Scotland.
Next on ESPN2, the World Series of _________.
2: Step 1: _________. Step 2: _________. Step 3: Profit.
2: Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin’s favorite dish is _________ stuffed with _________.
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you _________.
What gives me uncontrollable gas?
What do old people smell like?
The class field trip was completely ruined by _________.
When Pharoah remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of _________.
What’s my secret power?
What’s there a ton of in heaven?
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?
2: I never truly understood _________ until I encountered _________.
What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?
What helps Hillary Clinton unwind?
What did Bernie Sanders eat for dinner?
_________: good to the last drop.
Why am I sticky?
What gets better with age?
_________: kid-tested, mother-approved.
What’s the crustiest?
What’s Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?
Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _________.
Life for First Nations was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to _________.
I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with _________.
Why do I hurt all over?
What am I giving up for Lent?
In Michael Jackson’s final moments, he thought about _________.
In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has opened an interactive exhibit on _________.
When I am President of the United States I will create the Department of _________.
2: Lifetime Movies presents _________, the story of _________.
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _________.
2: When I was tripping on acid, _________ turned into _________.
2: That’s right, I killed _________. How, you ask? _________.
What’s my anti-drug?
What never fails to liven up the party?
What’s the new fad diet?
Major League Baseball has banned _________ for giving players an unfair advantage.

[xofelf]

YES I AM HERE FOR THIS

[SleepyKrew]

/in
ok reading the posts now

[xofelf]

It's basically CAH with a smaller hand and all blanks.

[SleepyKrew]

IT IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT

[xofelf]

BUT ALSO THE SAME THING A BIT

[Cheery Dog]

good enough.

/in

[N]

okay

[Lady Lambdadelta]

/in

[Felissan]

/last

[Aronis]

/in if it's not full

[pablito]

Will start later today when I get back home to my computer. Aronis had pre-inned for the game.

[pablito]

Rule addition for the Judge Phase:

• Burn 2 joke cards - this will incur the loss of 2 points, but will allow you to perform a total of 2 actions every time you are in the Judge Phase.

Clarification on the action of "burning" cards - this means they do not go to the discard pile, they will disappear into the vortex of Brexit votes and are removed from the game forever and ever and ever.

Clarification on use of "PUNCH" cards - the switching of cards will go into effect only AFTER a player has submitted a punchline for the joke. As such, if a player has only one (or zero) punchline in hand, the judge will need to select a different player instead. The mod or player can publicly announce this in thread.

Leaderboard:

Player	Points	Size of deck
Aronis	0	10
N	0	10
Lady Lambdadelta	0	10
SleepyKrew	0	10
xofelf	0	10
Cheery Dog	0	10

6 players in. Felissan is out as Aronis did /pre-in and I'm assuming N was going /in too. Felissan first on list for next game. If anything's incorrect, please let me know so it can be rectified. Random order via random.org is shown on leaderboard. Aronis is first judge, all other 5 players will submit a punchline to the joke card shown here:



For reference:

Spoiler:

It's Dee from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia who always dry-heaves at her horrible, yet persistent open mic stand-up comedy. See the excellent "The Gang Broke Dee" for an episode revolving around this.

Your hands will be PMed to you now.

[pablito]

Aronis

Please publicly choose an action: PUNCH, line, or

burn

. HINT: I highly recommend you pick "line" if you have one, since no punchlines have been written yet and you do not have enough joke cards or punchline cards to burn. This will allow you to add a starter card for your deck.

Others

Please PM your choice of punchline to me within the 48 hour deadline. Since no one has any punchlines written yet, you can select to play a starter card and etch your punchline into stone on the card. tl;dr - just send me a punchline to the joke in the above post.

Deadline Friday 22:30 EDT, (expired on 2016-07-15 21:30:00).

Feel free to skype me (ricowac) instead of PM if you'd like.

[Aronis]

I will play a Line card.

[pablito]

Aronis puts "line" in the discard pile. A new starter card was added to his discard pile as a result of the action.

If players would like to ever know what is in their discard pile, please ask and I shall let you know.

If you have questions, just let me know.

And if non-players or players would like to chime in to suggest which punchline the judge should pick, that's fine as only the judge will decide - as long as you do not reveal which card is yours.

[pablito]

Images not allowed as a punchline.

I won't be at a computer this weekend so unfortunately the card graphics for the punchlines will not be used for this one round. However, if you've submitted already, I PMed you the image for an example of what your new card will look like.

[pablito]

Aronis is judge!

Five other players to submit punchlines. Lady lambdadelta failed to submit and gets the first strike. As such there are only four cards played. Aronis has 24 hrs to publicly choose a winning punchline for his joke:



Here are the options:
thing





(expired on 2016-07-16 23:30:00)

[SleepyKrew]

black hermione fits all four

[Felissan]

I still like my punchline better.

[pablito]

If I choose to do customized graphics for each joke Black Hermione it is. I don't like the Dee pic very much. Might just go different color background

[Aronis]

Dank Memes are obnoxious 95% of the time.
Political Correctness is stupid and needs to die.
Randomly yelling at everything is just too long of a title.

Spoiler: So I will choose . . .

[N]

Well pandered.