Mini Normal #1838 Mafia PT

[podoboq]

@Podoboq: Can this stay open so I can make a Traveler's Log of the final stretch of this harsh journey across the wastes?

I wouldn't have it any other way

boring

,

Mafia Neapolitan

, was lynched Day 4.

It is now Night 4. Please PM all night actions to me by the deadline, or bold them in your associated private thread.

Deadline

: (expired on 2016-11-19 08:42:00)

[Prism]

A no kill isn't horrible here, but I'd rather just get Zoro out of the way. Otherwise I have to take nn30/Black to three way with Zoro. The latter I'm not okay with, the former Zoroscum would never do. Killing implosion here would be a really strong move but that leads back to me pretty easily, as Black/nn30 both have no incentive to make that. It'd leave me trying to get Zoro lynched, and I've already explained my aversion to that in a 3 way scenario.

I'm confident Implosion will conclude that I am the second if not DF tomorrow. I give myself about a 40% chance of winning this game-if I can make it through with a lynch on Dierfire tomorrow, then my chance jumps to about 60%.

Kill: Zoronos

[Prism]

To be honest the thing I'm most excited for is just a chance to switch my avatar to Valter after I flip.

[podoboq]

This is a courtesy message. Right now I have that

Zoronos

is the factional kill target. If this is incorrect, or you would like to change your decisions, let me know by the deadline. If I receive no correction, your actions will be registered at the deadline.

Deadline

: (expired on 2016-11-19 08:42:00)

[Prism]

I got so lazy due to being busy IRL jesus, those posts about misreading DF's posts were so bad they could lose the game for me if anyone bothered to think about them.

[Prism]

Well I finally found the time to make a decent post.

Does anyone expect the full allcaps orange "IT'S HAMMER TIME" vote from a scum knowing it's not ending and it's going to 5 way? Does anyone expect the post saying "Scum got FUCKED" from it?

You bet your grandmother's famous Thanksgiving biscuits they don't.

I hope.

[Prism]

My not reading DF was pretty bad but I think that rebuttal/"final" post serves as a good save. My questioning BV's reasoning of townreading me and using it for a reason for him being town might come back to bite me tomorrow when I have to walk it back, but I'm hoping that it works in my favor. Specifically, that paragraph about BV having no reasons to townread me as scum will work the exact same but with our names switched tomorrow and I'm hoping one of them will bring it up for me.

Those last two posts are really just to sell that I'm nervous but excited for the flip, thinking I've won already but wanting to make sure. It's a big contrast to my serious demeanor all game. Hopefully they buy it.

[Prism]

Kill: Implosion

I was half tempted to kill nn instead but naw

[Prism]

Man, I've made it so far but I still only have like a 40% chance of winning this. That's pretty painful but I called it back on page 1/2. One mislynch is easy, two mislynches is doable, three is incredibly difficult. I still remember literally screaming when PP claimed deputy.

Well, I'm close to the top of the mountain but my supplies are almost completely out, I've got maybe 4 peanuts to take me to the top and I lost all of my climate gear 500 ft down. Here goes nothing.

If I lose I blame not claiming BP.

[Prism]

@Podo: Who're you rooting for? No lying, I'll know if you do.

[podoboq]

@Podo: Who're you rooting for? No lying, I'll know if you do.

I always root for the underdog. Interpret that how you will.

[Prism]

Thanks Podo, I know deep down, somewhere inside, you're rooting for me even if only for boring/LUV's sake.

[Prism]

My strategy going into the day here is to bring up nn30's scum meta and pointing out the discrepancy between it and this game. This is really risky but what I'm aiming to do here is to try and get BlackVoid set into the mindset of convincing me that nn30 is scum rather than really investigating it from an unbiased perspective.

My opening today is going to have three approaches. One is to give a solid reason for nn30 that I

can't walk back

as scum, the second is to interrogate BV's townread on me, then nn's, in that order, and the third is to initiate a line of reconsideration on BV pending a Shadow reread.

First is reassuring towards nn30 that his read on me is correct, because I'm closing off my own options as mafia, as well as signaling to BV the need to build a case against nn (Given that both hard townread me, from each's perspective I have little reason to turn on them the first post of the day). The second is aimed at getting each one to go into confirmation bias mode while creating an opening vs. nn (I suspect his townread on me is not so easily justified, and BV will pick up on this). Both have also been inclined to townread me questioning reads on me-though this could change at any time, it's worth betting on one more time as it's not an instaloss if they don't. Third is aimed primarily at nn30, just because that's what I should be doing as town before I double down and vote BV. Combined with my nn30 meta, I'm hoping that this sells him on my investigation being legitimate.

Ways this can backfire: Accidentally convince one or both that I'm scum in the process of getting them to think through their own reasoning. Whoops.

[Prism]

Main consideration here is really my own time constraints as I'm having health issues currently but I'm doing my best.

Still really just looking forward to swapping my avatar to Valter.

[Prism]

Oh, I've got another idea that is either genius or going to tank my chances.

Let's bet on the former!

[Prism]

HERE WE GO

THIS ONE'S FOR ALL THE MARBLES

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO ENTER THE WAY I LIKED BUT THAT'S OKAY

IT'S GAME TIME

[Prism]

So as you say - unless you're God at a keyboard you're town.

WE'RE DOING IT, WE'RE BRINGING IT HOME, I SEE THE SUMMIT

[Prism]

nn making MOVES UP IN THIS and we've got ourselves a game

Even though I think his points w/ boring are weak Shadow/BV has been obvtown since the beginning of time itself

[Prism]

Note: What became this reflection post was all typed up entirely by phone after waking up to get water. This becomes ironic when I start whining about having no time, I promise.

I'm really depressed about this 3 way. I really feel like I haven't played up to my standards at all, and it's almost entirely due to lack of time, barely able to allocate 3 hours in an entire week to the game. I recognized that the best way to win would be an nn pivot but didn't have time to follow through the way I wanted, and now I'm stuck on BV. I recognized that I needed to sink more time, to make the kind of post mn is doing right now, but I simply don't have the time. I recognized that it was probably better, too, to do a halfassed pivot to nn rather than not pivoting at all, but I was deluded enough to think that I would get around to it-and I never did.

I really love this game, both mafia in general and this one in particular, and nn is right in that I meant it when I said I would do whatever it took to win, and I said that with the intention that it would be the only warning town would get. I'm really glad he picked up on it, even though it was at my expense. That said, the truth is that no, I really lost my temper, I really wanted to replace out, and when I asked to stay anyway I even expected a modkill for it. I think it's very fitting if it wins up sinking me, both in nn scumreading it and in BV replacing SS.

It's also pretty fitting that nn has been using the interactions of boring/LUV with others, in the sense that I knew the difference was problematic but didn't step in asking to make more changes out of fear of being dictatorial. The ones I did speak up and request, ex. LUV evading me, worked wonders, but they only go so far.

Finally I just straight up misplayed the nn situation, and I've known it for 3 game days now, but never bothered to try and fix it despite knowing I would have to eventually. I knew he would eventually reread and that we would wind up being the 1v1 but I stuck my head in the sand and hoped for a miracle rather than making one that was fully within my capabilities. And today, the day I had to, I ran out of time, and ran out of gas for a game I love very much, as a month filled with too much work, an average of 4 hours of sleep a day, and virtually 0 leisure has taken its toll.

I've had a lot of fun, made some great plays and some profoundly deep misplays, both because of my own ego and because of my attempts to reign it in, but this 3 way has turned into misery for me. I love making mistakes and I love losing, because that reminds me still how much further I've got to go. But I made a promise at the start of the game, a promise that I would do whatever it took to win, and bring my full force to bear. It's depressing to know I'm capable of better and never test it like I want to.

I've failed to do that, and I don't have anyone to blame but myself. It feels odd to complain about choices I made knowing in advance what I was giving up, but I'm speaking purely out of my love of the game here. Everyone deals with time crunches and makes it work, but the difference is I can't stand to see myself play like this. Even if I win, I'm just so disappointed, not in my wonderful partners but in myself for letting them down. Forum mafia is everything I've always wanted, in fun factor, in level of play, in ability to test myself and push if to the limit, but I don't know if I will sign up for another forum game. I'm very much an all or nothing person, and I want to give mafia my all, but it's clear to me that I don't have time and never will given that the time I want is infinite. At that point I'd rather just step away.

Still loved the game, still love podo and the whole playerlist for making it special.

tl;dr: Prism starts by explaining how the 3 way was misplayed, how they sucked at mafia, and eventually gets way too emotional and starts wallowing in selfpity over dealing with problems every human has. Sad about no time but then spends his time on this instead of the game. Sad enough to type all this up on a phone. Meanwhile nn is doing work.

[Prism]

Man that was a whole lot of late-night selfpity.

Well, let's get to work and see what I can do.

[Prism]

Maybe I can still make some magic happen after all. It's worth a shot.

[Prism]

Fuck this is going well but why do the busiest 3 days of my life have to be the final three days of the deadline, I have ALL THE TIME in the world after Wednesday. I feel like I'm having to pick between IRL responsibilities and winning the game which is never good for either.

Well while I'm on my phone:

@Podoboq: You are now faced with a crossroads.

There are three possible cases from here. You are requested to give a response to this question.

Option 1: Respond to this. If you do, I will take a radically different course of action ingame, undeniably gamechanging. You do not know what this action is.

Option 2: Don't respond to this. If you do, I will take a radically different course of action ingame, undeniably gamechanging. You do not know what this action is.

Option 3: Guess the magic word. If you do, no influence on the game will be had, and I will forget this was ever asked. If you guess incorrectly, this is treated as option 1.

Can you guess the magic word and avoid influencing the gameflow in your position as moderator?

I wish you the best of luck.

[Prism]

I'm so sad about this now, I've got so much to say and now have a bit of time to do so but it's becoming apparent that it's far too late. BV/nn have just been able to build off of each other while I've been forced to watch from afar, unable to post anything significant or without the spirit to find a way to make more with less. I was set up to succeed and do well, and I kneww the angle I needed to go today, but I couldn't make it happen, and I really feel like I've let the team down. I'm sorry boring and LUV. I don't really know what else to say-I got us this far but when I was needed most I disappeared. And I'm so disappointed in myself because of it.

[Prism]

Since Friday night the only sleep I've gotten for like 2-3 hours on Sunday. I've basically had the worst week of my life, not quite but pretty close to it. Juggling this game is so much and it hurts so much to watch something I put so much effort into and planned out so meticulously to go to shit so fast from disrepair.

Somebody please end the suffering.