Why do you play mafia?

[Kmd4390]

Unhealthy addiction. Can't stand the game but also can't get away from it. I wish I was joking or exaggerating.

[Kmd4390]

I have a bomb attached to my heart.

If I quit mafia altogether, it will explode.

So long as I am either playing or modding or reviewing or otherwise involved in a game though, it won't go off.

Meaning my life literally depends on me not stopping.

So last time I answered, it was with a joke, but. The joke did have one element of truth to it.

I could give any number of excuse answers, e.g. "because of socializing and psychology practice", but those are exactly that, excuses.
I have previously thought it was an addiction, but the truth is much worse.

For some background:
The artist within me is trapped, locked inside. She still paints vivid canvasses, with beautiful imagery, but I never let her MAKE anything. So art is dead.

The writer within me still creates stories, but my drive to write them is dead.

I check kongregate games daily for the badge of the day, and play steam games on request, but otherwise the gamer within me is dead

I stopped caring about Tae kwon do and dancing long ago, even though I still do both out of obligation.

I stopped caring about work similarly, and intentionally avoid job searching.

What does that leave me with?

Only my girlfriend and mafiascum.
…And while my girlfriend is not a current player, they are a scummer who I met through playing on here.

So it is no exaggeration to say my entire life revolves quite literally around mafiascum.

I said that my life depends on me playing as a joke, but that was serious. Someone recently told me my entire self-worth revolves around here.

They're not wrong.

If anything, that's an understatement.

I have nothing without mafiascum.
I play mafia because it is the main thing to do on mafiascum. Without it, I literally have no life.

And yes.
That is exactly as sad and pathetic as it sounds.
There's a good reason I see myself as the dictionary definition of a real life scumbag. A worthless lowlife, the dregs of human society.

I can think of no worse reason to keep playing, and yet, it is the truth for why I do.
Beyond sad, right?

The most important thing in life is to find happiness. If mafiascum is where you find that, there's nothing sad about it. People find pleasure in things that are meaningless to others. My life revolves around sports in pretty much the same way you describe here. It's the main topic of conversation with my wife. I care more about whether the Yankees won last night than if I remembered to pay the mortgage (crap, I forgot the mortgage. Meh I'll pay it today). From someone else's point of view, sure why should I care if a bunch of people I don't know did a better job hitting a ball around or throwing and catching it than a bunch of other people I don't know? But you know what? I'm generally pretty happy when I'm watching a game. Maybe it's a form of an escape from real life to some extent. I don't know. But if things that seem minor or pointless are what you find joy in, then there's nothing wrong with focusing on that. Just my opinion.

Preview edit: Guess I could just QFT but I already typed mine out. Lol