Worst role ideas?

[kuribo]

You are

Robert Cochran,

writer of 24.

Each day you may kill someone without explanation. The day does not end with your kill. You have 24 hours to find the mafia--- At the start of a new day, you may not reference or even acknowledge the previous day's postings. Each night you may choose one person to look guilty or innocent the next day, however sometime later during the day, their true alignment will be revealed to the town. If you choose not to use BOTH powers, the next day your ratings go down and one person that you have killed off in the past will be resurrected---- also without explanation.

[kuribo]

Here are some wrestling related ones:

You are

The Ultimate Warrior

You may never post anything that has any coherence or relevance to the conversation. You must make up words like "true foke" and "destrucity" during each post. If anyone accuses you of being Mafia, you must post in all caps, calling them a normal and insulting them in some bizarre, nonsensical way. At the end of the day, if your vote rests on the person who is lynched, you win the title and may stay. If however, you vote wrong, you run off to the locker room and disappear from the game forever.

You are

Triple H

. You cannot be lynched. You cannot be night-killed. Anyone who votes against you or tries to night kill you is killed.

You are

The Undertaker

If you are lynched or NK'd, druids bring you back from the dead one game day later. You then kill the person who killed you.

[kuribo]

You are

Kuribo's Shoe

. You are, without a doubt, the coolest power-up Mario has ever encountered.

quoted for truth

[kuribo]

i think there's like a game genie code that lets you do it

[kuribo]

You are

Adopted

. We felt this role PM was the best way to tell you.

[kuribo]

You are

Pokey the Penguin

You may only post statements that are irrelevant to the conversation at hand. You may only post in caps. You win.

[kuribo]

You

are.

If at any point you are NOT, you have lost.

[kuribo]

You are

lame

. I hope they lynch you, loser.

[kuribo]

You are

The Mod's best friend.

Here is a list of everyone and their roles:

(insert list)


-----------------

Alternatively:

You are

The Mod's Enemy

. I hate you. I have PM'd all townies informing them that you are scum. Get out of my game, jerk.

[kuribo]

You are

the guy with the Big Red Button

. You have a Big Red Button which you can press once during the game. You have no idea what it does.

(Can you think of

anything

for the button to do which wouldn't be bastard modding?)

Pressing the button activates the hatch. At this point, every 108 minutes, one player must post the sequence of numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42. Failure to do so will result in a plane crash that causes 12 new players to join the game.

[kuribo]

You are

not reading your role PM

. Way to ruin the game for everyone else.

----

You are

Rube Goldberg

. You are allowed one daykill, but you must earn it. In order to earn it, you must post a random vote against a player, another player must criticize you for that random vote. A third player must jump to your defense. You criticize the player defending you and vote against them. Another player questions the connection between you and this player. You must then OMGUS vote whoever is voting you, with little to no explanation. You must attempt to push a bandwagon on them, jumping off at the last minute, continuing to behave this way until someone calls you scum. Once someone calls you scum, you must claim to be a cop. Someone must then counter-claim, and you vote against them since you are obviously telling the truth. Convince three other people to vote against the counter-claimed cop, and then unexpectedly jump off the bandwagon, and vote against someone who has no votes for them. Convince another player to join you on this bandwagon, and PM me the choice of the person you wish to daykill. You must do all of these steps every day that you wish to daykill.

[kuribo]

From there you must translate it into Swedish Chef:

Zeey ere-a zee ductur. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! Yuoo cun pruteggersee et neeght iech INTRENCE OoF INFORMETION ooff zee NOTE OoF zee BETTERY he-a a neme-a ooff a persun. Bork bork bork! Zeey cunnut pruteggerlee. Zeey veen veet zee ceety. Bork bork bork!

Or hacker:

they rae the doctor u can pproteggersi azt night each enTrance of 1nfrom4tion of teh note of teh batatry he a namE of a7aMeR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~ THEY CANNOT OPORTEGGERLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ TEHT WIN WITH THE CITY

Or Elmer Fudd:

Dey awe the doctow. You can pwoteggewsi at night each ENTWANCE OF INFOWMATION of the NOTE OF the BATTEWY he a name of a pewson, uh-hah-hah-hah. Dey cannot pwoteggewwi. Dey win wif the city.


Or you can take your ebonics, and translate it into 70s Jivetalk:

Tizzle be da docto' and yo momma. WORD! ya' kin proteggersi at night each entrance of infizzle uh da nizzy uh da battery he some dojigger uh a sucka' . Hollaz t'de East Side. dey cannot proteggerli so's bow waaay down t'de bow wow, so cut me some slack, Jack. dey win wit da hood.

----

better yet, let's do all of the above:

zeey eWe-a ee ductuw, so cut me some slack, Jack... huwty fwuwty schnipp schn1pp! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!111 WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO YUOO CUM PWUYTEGG4wSEE ET nE3GHT eICH INTWENCE oOF INFOWMETioNOFOF ZEE NOTE OOPF ZEE BETTAWY HE-A A N3ME-4 OOFF some PAWSUYn, uh-hah-hah-hah. Lop some boogie. . WOWOWOWW~~ BWCoo' BOWK bWCoo'! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Right on!11~~~~~~ Zeey cvunnut pwuteggewwee. zeey veewn ve3t zee ceety~~~~~~~ OWOWO~~~ bwok bwpk bowk! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!! Preach it loud, bruddah!~~~~~~~

(That's ebonics -> Swedish Chef -> Hacker -> Jive and now you have the greatest role PM ever)

[kuribo]

You are

Suicidal and do not own a gun

. Not to be confused with a Jester. You must Nightkill yourself. If you are lynched, you lose. If the Mafia Nightkills you, you lose. You do not have the ability to kill at night.

[kuribo]

That zombie role owns. I'd love to see that in a game.

It could get so very very nasty though.

If he gets an SK's win condition, a miller's 'ability', etc.

The luckiest guy could get an awesomely powerful role, the unluckiest guy could get the worst role ever.

Now you see the danger of being Peter or Sylar from Heroes.

Seriously, what if one day Peter stands too close to a guy whose power is having no powers? Or a guy whose power is that he dies in two days.

And yes, I remember the Exploding Man.

[kuribo]

You are

addicted to World of Warcraft

. You may not post in this thread.

(Everyone in the game gets the same role PM)

[kuribo]

Just out of curiosity, what is your avatar kuribo

It's the creepy little boy from The Orphanage (El Orfanato). It's a horror movie about a lady who lives in an orphanage and my avatar is the masked ghost of a deformed child.

It's in Spanish with subtitles, but my wife and I saw it in the local movie theater. They're going to make an American remake of it, which will probably suck.

It's a really good flick, and pretty scary. Also, my wife tells me she's creeped out by my avatar. (Which I also use as my spraypaint on HL2)

[kuribo]

[quote="KaleiÐoscøpe"]You are

Oprah Winfrey

. In order to win, you need to talk. And talk thou shall. You most post at least 20 sentences each day, and this game should always be the thread where you last posted. Each post must contain 20 sentences. If you don't satisfy the mod, you'll die. You win when you live[/quote]

You are

Oprah Winfrey

. You are one of the richest people in America. Every day, you must give away fabulous gifts to the other townies in order to flaunt your wealth without seeming like you're bragging.

[kuribo]

You are an

Alien Shapeshifter

You are aligned with the Mafia, the town, and you are an undead serial killer. You do not have human anatomy.

If you are lynched during the day, you are revealed to be town. If you are killed at night, you are revealed to be Mafia.

Each night, you must send in the name of someone you wish to kill.

One full day phase after your death, you resurrect back to life.

Attempts to investigate you by a cop will result in the cop's death. Attempts by a doctor to protect you will result in your death--- from which you cannot resurrect. (Once the doctor finds out you're an alien, he sells your corpse to science. The doctor becomes rich and famous and leaves town forever)

[kuribo]

You are a

Time Traveller with Uncontrollable Teleportitis

Each night, you are teleported either forward or backward. If you are teleported backward, the entire game reverts back to its state at the beginning of the day. If you are teleported forward, it will be a full night cycle later.

Bastard Mod note--- the other players will not be told that this role exists. If the timetraveller moves forward, all night actions for that night go through, a random player is lynched the following morning, and the thread is unlocked the following night for a new set of night actions. If the player travels backwards, than any night actions are undone and the previous day's player is unlynched. The time traveller does not know that there is a random chance he may screw up reality by killing his own mother and thus making it so he never played.

[kuribo]

You are

Racist.

Shame on you.

[kuribo]

You have just lost

The Game.

You must now remind people of The Game. *

If at any point, any person uses the phrase "The Game," they are killed because they have just lost the game.

If you are the only player remaining, you win once you forget about The Game.

* The object of The Game is to forget about The Game.

** haha, you all just lost the game

[kuribo]

Also, You are a

Soul Stealer

.

Each night you must steal the soul of one other player. That player's soul is kept in a crystal which is carried around with you. They are not removed from the game, and indeed, are not told that you have captured their souls.

Once you are killed, the restless souls can no longer sustain life, the crystals shatter, and every player you have targetted is killed as well.


----

You are

Carrying a nuclear bomb.

At any time, you may detonate the bomb, killing yourself. A random selection of 75% of the remaining players will die with you. Surviving players will have radiation poisoning and lose their night choices while they undergo treatment.

----

You are

really high right now

. I mean, whoa. You know? Like... I know they CALL them fingers, but do you ever see them fing? What was I saying? Oh yeah, your win condition, man. Dude, it's like, if you win... then you totally win, man, you know? Dude, where's the Funyuns?

[kuribo]

Also, You are a

Soul Stealer

.

Each night you must steal the soul of one other player. That player's soul is kept in a crystal which is carried around with you. They are not removed from the game, and indeed, are not told that you have captured their souls.

Once you are killed, the restless souls can no longer sustain life, the crystals shatter, and every player you have targetted is killed as well.

I kind of like this.

It would only be funny if the Soul Stealer has like 5 souls and gets killed, taking most of the players with him.

[kuribo]

Also, You are a

Soul Stealer

.

Each night you must steal the soul of one other player. That player's soul is kept in a crystal which is carried around with you. They are not removed from the game, and indeed, are not told that you have captured their souls.

Once you are killed, the restless souls can no longer sustain life, the crystals shatter, and every player you have targetted is killed as well.

What would happen if a person they targeted was lynched or killed?

Something insane and beyond reason.

[kuribo]

You are

Reset Button

. Whenever someone targets you, the game returns to Day 1 with all players returning to their starting conditions. You may never reveal that you are the Reset Button.

So in other words, they are Bill Murray in Groundhog Day?



Groundhog day Mafia:

Each time someone is lynched, we restart at the beginning of the day. If scum is lynched, we move on to night. And the beat goes on. *


* Mod note: There are no scum.

[kuribo]

You're Brett Favre!

You're an amazing player, unfortunately you've retired because you don't want to play anymore...

What people don't know is that you were active in mafia games whenever you weren't training or practicing. Unfortunately you don't want to play mafia anymore either...

Confirm via press conference about leaving..

We will miss you...

Also, if you are lynched, you reserve the right to come back at any time. Your locker will remain untouched for all of eternity just like Shawn Taylor's. (Except you're not dead.)

[kuribo]

You are a Mason, you're partner may or may not be town.

You brought along a gun just in-case, with one-shot just for your partner.

Anytime during the day you may daykill them.

You can never be too careful, trust no one!

Modnote: Give this role to both of the masons.

That would actually be interesting.

[kuribo]

You are a post-restricted lurker. For the first seven real life days of the game you are not allowed to post. Every time the mod prods you at the request of a player, you again cannot post for seven real life days. Good luck. You'll need it.

But, once the seven days are up, no one will want to prod him because he will be able to post.

[kuribo]

Oh, and I have a role.

I'd rather give you a ROLL, if you see what I mean.

[kuribo]

You are

Al Bundy

. If at any point you are winning or in any way ahead, you will be punished by the mod to make up for it.

You are

Peggy Bundy.

You may post in this game, but you do not get a vote because you're too busy eating bon-bons.

(mod note: If Peggy Bundy is killed during the game, Al Bundy becomes so happy that he becomes Psycho Dad and gains dayvig powers.)

[kuribo]

And how does that role win?

Making it to the endgame, I'd think.

The Retard Is Pro-town.

aren't they always?

[kuribo]

You are

Oh, who cares?

Listen, I know this is where your role goes, but does it really matter? I mean, in the big scheme of things, will playing here help world hunger? No. Get people jobs? No. It certainly won't get my wife to come back to me! Do you know what that woman did to me?! How can I moderate Mafia knowing that she took my KIDS to his HOUSE?! Do you know what it's like to wake up with the whiskey bottle STILL IN ONE HAND and the GUN IN YOUR OTHER, and take twenty minutes deciding which one to PUT IN YOUR MOUTH?! Then again, you know where they live, right? I mean, it's right across town, and you've got a car. The only thing that stops you is knowing that she's not WORTH THE PRISON TIME, but I guess that feeling goes away too?

What was I saying? I don't remember. Go play Mafia.

(The worst Role PM not only doesn't even tell you your alignment and wincon, it also may compel you to one day testify in a court of law)

[kuribo]

You are

ON FIRE

! Holy crap, man, log off right now! Why are you still reading this?! STOP DROP AND ROLL!

[kuribo]

You are

nuclear waste.

If you are targetted at night, that player will suffer the following effects: On the following night, his / her hair will fall out. On the next night, that player will die.*

You may only be killed if you are buried by another player. If you are buried, you contaminate the drinking water and kill everyone in endgame.

*50% chance that player will become a self-aligned mutant with dayvig powers instead.

[kuribo]

You are

Vi

. You lose when the forum has come to a general correct consensus on what your gender is.

Alternatively, You are

Katsuki.

You lose when someone comes along that has known you for years and keeps wondering aloud why people think you're a girl.

[kuribo]

You are

Rip Van Wrinkle

You go to sleep the first night and you don't wake up till endgame.
You win if no one kills you in your sleep.

some players lurk so much that they would be a viking in this role and none of us would ever know

[kuribo]

You are

a Mafia Inviter

Each night, you must PM me the name of one town player. That player will be given a link to the scum QT.

[kuribo]

Even better:

You are a Mason Vig with X and Y. You must invite one player to the Mason QT each night. Each night, the original members of your masonry may select a player to kill. You win with town.

Mod note: the mason QT is simply named "Mafia QT" since it is the QT for a game of mafia

[kuribo]

That would be great. At mass claim, no one would know what the hell he was talking about


"Come on man, we talked about this last night"
"I've never talked to you in a QT"
(Ed nortons face at the reveal in fight club)

[kuribo]

@Mod: I wish to inflict on every player the post restriction that every post must contain a vote for me

[kuribo]

With the amount of lurking that site meta seems to endorse, getting to 1000 posts for someone who can be online a lot, without getting complaints, should be no problem at all.

Really?? 1000 posts? That's 40 pages. For one guy...Need I make it Mr. 10000?

1) Me, DGB, AngryPigeon, and Majiffy form a hydra
2) we get this role
3) game is over before confirmation stage

[kuribo]

I'm posting this here to remind myself to use it in a game.

Self-Visiting Fruit Vendor

Each night, you may visit yourself and bring fruit to your own house.

[kuribo]

You are

Oh, who cares?

Listen, I know this is where your role goes, but does it really matter? I mean, in the big scheme of things, will playing here help world hunger? No. Get people jobs? No. It certainly won't get my wife to come back to me! Do you know what that woman did to me?! How can I moderate Mafia knowing that she took my KIDS to his HOUSE?! Do you know what it's like to wake up with the whiskey bottle STILL IN ONE HAND and the GUN IN YOUR OTHER, and take twenty minutes deciding which one to PUT IN YOUR MOUTH?! Then again, you know where they live, right? I mean, it's right across town, and you've got a car. The only thing that stops you is knowing that she's not WORTH THE PRISON TIME, but I guess that feeling goes away too?

What was I saying? I don't remember. Go play Mafia.

(The worst Role PM not only doesn't even tell you your alignment and wincon, it also may compel you to one day testify in a court of law)

also this post is really weird to read considering my marriage fell apart the following july

[kuribo]

You are the

Hot Potato.

You lose when the game ends.

Each night, you may target a player. You and that player will switch roles.

They have that on Epicmafia, it's called an Old Maid