I just wanted a meal after reading 130 pages of Hegal

[Who]

Why is Hegel so influential given how incomprehensible he is?

In other fields, being comprehensible helps in being influential, but it isn't 100% necessary because it's possible t use something without understanding it. Usually there is some result where even if you don't understand the rest of it, you can black box the result. In the sciences you can compare the result to the real world and see that it is falsifiable and predicts things and keeps being right, so even if you don't understand the result you can recognize that it is useful. In math, although there's no experimental verification, provided a proof is understood by a few experts and generally agreed to be right, I can then freely use the theorem. I don't need to know why a^n+b^n+c^n has no integer solutions for n>2 to apply it. (Although using a theorem with an incomprehensible proof would be considered sloppy) Even then, if it's too incomprehensible it won't be worth anything. Mochizuki claims to have proven the abc conjecture but nobody understands the proof so we all generally agree it's wrong. (When you look at his work it's lots of trivial statements followed by statements which cannot be concluded, it's generally agreed among people who have attempted to read it that he screwed up somewhere) Atiyah claims to have proven the Riemann hypothesis but nobody understands the proof so we all generally agree it's not even wrong.

[Who]

And I'm doing my read-through of this garbage. Hegel is a nightnare. Never read him. It will steal your soul. Kant and Schopenhaur is better. ANd if I ever want a hot German take on Religion, I sure as hell ain't going to Hegel for it. Either Nietzsche, Kierkegaard (not German, same tradition though), or Feuerbach.

Your words and your actions (Or at least, your other words about your actions) say very different things.

Though Crusty is correct, why would you want any continental take when you could instead be reading an analytic take. If you want a German take then go read Frege.