)I found some words overnight, so let's post them.
It wouldn't be unfair to say that I was socialized by this site... which probably explains a lot. Because of that, I think my RL behavior is more cringy than anything I've posted here
Despite that, I bailed for a year and a half because while this site is capable of a lot of good - and I believed in that even while I was a moderator - it's also pretty darn toxic at times and it doesn't need to be. Another contributing factor, being totally honest, is that I got tired of not telling people that my social life was on a site about arguing over the Internet where a word that can be interpreted as racially charged is thrown around freely (although I've heard zoraster has said and done things about that).
I tried to find a community that was nearly as interesting and personable as this one. I failed, and my social circle has tightened as a result. (I warned you all in advance about how rubbish I am about keeping up with people.) If I had to guess what this place's secret sauce is, it's that a site about arguing over the Internet invites people who are willing to be open and invest themselves in other conversations about whatever they please. People can be very real here, even when they say they're here for the trolling. That openness is something you usually only find in therapy groups, and a whole community with it, etc.
The people here come from several very different walks of life, tend to be rough around the edges, enjoy spear-fishing with awful puns and memes, are mostly nothing like my parents' idea of polite company, and by and large are fundamentally good and pleasant to be around (even if they don't realize it or take advantage of it). And for better or worse, I fit into this mix better than most anywhere else. You are "my kind of people". Despite all evidence to the contrary, I've never thought of this place as home... but after so much time away, I guess it was true.
I don't know if it presently is. I looked through the threads and... it doesn't seem like a lot has changed since I left. The old threads are still there and the old topics are still circulating. I was struck by how I didn't feel a need to respond to much at all, even to throw a well-timed pun in. I think I would have reached this point even if I hadn't left, which is what's holding me back from thinking that I threw away something good, but...
I guess what I mean to say in so many words is that I miss you. I don't say that to many people, so feel honored, dammit.
