If Scummers Ruled the Galaxy... [Stellaris Lets-play]

[vonflare]

give the aliens celery

[McMenno]

WAR!

[Postie]

Spoiler: Transmission

The second option sounds like it gets us killed so either of the other two plz

[PvtUrist]

Proceed with flattery.

[Raskolnikov]

We all know the true answer. Mods are sods!
This was the one faction that we know it just would never work out with. Mods and users are natural born enemies sadly.

(Not srsly mods I appreciate what you do)

[wgeurts]

For Science!

2230-05-05

The Scummer Moderation Collective took no action for a few years since the first lines of communication were established. This changed when a transmission was received with a rather... peculiar request.

Spoiler: Transmission

The Assembly agreed to take part in the scientific exchange, on the condition that Scummers voluntarily would allow themselves to be studied by the Skittles. Surprisingly enough, a few hundred seemed more than willing to let themselves be guinea pigs for literal aliens. Another major conclusion was also drawn: there are more sapient lifeforms out there!

Spoiler: Volunteers

Those brave or stupid enough to sign-up were boarded onto a research ship and transported to The Hive. A few months later we received a few dozen specimens of Skittle drones, they were only just alive however...

Spoiler: The Skittles

Our scientists did all they could to keep them alive and research their biology and neurology before they perished. Although our window was shorter than we would have hoped we were able to learn a number of fascinating things about the Skittles.

Spoiler: Results

[Annadog40]

I wonder what is happening to the guinea pig scummers.

[vonflare]

I hope they're alright

[wgeurts]

Oh no

2232-12-02

2 years passed and all our volunteers were returned to us in one piece. They acted a little funny and spoke rather strangely but other than that they seemed to be in good shape thankfully. Our scientists examined them for parasites and infectious disease not known to our kind, but all came out clear. It's safe to say we have more trust in the Collective now, and they seem to view us slightly less warily.

Spoiler: Volunteers Return

Our research ships were granted permission to pass through their territory, and having crossed it we swiftly sighted activity of something or someone.

Spoiler: New Contact

The research ship continued on and... good god what the hell is this! The SIS Darwin had sailed straight into a system littered with what appeared to be gargantuan space stations and a fleet they truly dwarfed anything we could have dreamed of! Their largest ships seemed to have been built around asteroids in some obscure manner, and displayed weaponry that appeared truly terrifying. Let us hope they are not hostile...

Spoiler: Oh no

[Annadog40]

ask the hive friends bout it. Maybe they can help.

[vonflare]

oh boy what could this be

[wgeurts]

Traders, Barbarians, and More...

2237-03-30

Our research ship was swiftly under fire, galactic cannons firing barrages... past it? The deep-space fireworks show continued for 10 minutes or so, then came to an abrupt halt. A transmission of some sort was then picked up by the team of SIS Darwin. Once decoded the transmission yielded a crude image of a spacefaring vessel getting blown up. The message was clear, the research vessel started it's FTL drives and backed out. Sadly, this was all too much for the lead scientist KittyMo, she suffered a heart attack and died at the age of 82. She will be missed, and her services to our people shall not be forgotten.

Spoiler: R.I.P.

Just before the SIS Darwin could jump out of the system a second transmission was received. It was ignored until the crew managed to pilot the vessel to a safe distance. Having done so, the transmission was run through our translation software (which magically could translate everything by now)...

Spoiler: The Bjorish Wildlings

These guys were not to be messed with. Their fleet power was more than enough to raze our civilisation from existence. On the bright side however: they were not our neighbour, and thus safely ignorable for the time-being. A few months later a fleet of gigantic vessels was detected nearing one of our outposts however, the ships seemed to be hailing us...

Spoiler: The Racket Industrial Enterprise

Thank goodness, it was not the wildlings! These shrew-like entities approached and docked at our outpost, offering us minerals in exchange for food. It was a fair deal, and having built up a surplus of food we agreed to their terms. They then proceeded to carry on with their voyage. It is worrisome how powerful these two new contacts are, and our admirals are most concerned.

That was not all however... for the SIS Leif Ericson was picking up signs of another unidentified vessel in the Ynytono star-system. It appeared to be surveying the planets and star, much like we were...

Spoiler: Mu Aliens

Also, you may note the rapid claiming of star-systems near the Collective's border.

[McMenno]

Nice

[Annadog40]

We should claim something quick before others do!

[vonflare]

give them all celery

[wgeurts]

oh god, the next post contains quality lewdness.

[vonflare]

oh my

[Annadog40]

my oh

[wgeurts]

When Xenophilia Gets a Little too Literal

2240-03-05

The ship spotted surveying by the SIS Darwin was hailed, and within a few months we had translated each others language. Communications were officially established between the SIA and the M'td Star Empire! They seemed wary of us, but stated that as long as we left them alone things would be fine.

Spoiler: Flowers of the Galaxy

Meanwhile on Meat World things were getting a little too... meaty. The Racketeer Enterprise fleet had docked at our capital, and we swiftly discovered that despite our differences we had a lot in common. A lot of business was done which resulted in lucrative profits for the Assembly.

Spoiler: Money!

Profit wasn't all the Scummers gained however. During the festivities a large number of our women took Xenophilia a step too far for my comfort, and sure enough 9 months later half-Scummers were born onto Meat World. You read that right: we slept with space shrews.

Spoiler: Sauce

The half-Racketeer, half-Scummer hybrids had inherited the Psionic powers of the Racketeers and the intelligence plus communalism of the Scummers. Arguably they were smarter and more effective than us pure-breds, and how this will effect Scummer society will have to be observed. 1.5 billion of these hybrids were birthed in a year on Meat World, which was now home to 21 billion individuals.

[vonflare]

must have been a pretty wild party

[Cheery Dog]

Well I assume some also exist in the other direction.

Poor people that would have had to clean up after such a party though

[wgeurts]

Trouble

2245-05-14

The year was 2243, it was February. The scientists at our interstellar communications were not expecting to be receiving any communications opened on new lines... yet the dish array was whirring into life as screens once more flared to life. A transmission was received from a nation simply named the Urist Commerce League, apparently they had listened in on M'td communications. Just how many others are there out there?!

Spoiler: The Urist Commerce League

Ironically enough the first thing we then proceeded to hear about the Urist Commerce League was that the M'td Star Empire had declared them a rival. Woops. The Scummer Moderation Collective maybe wasn't such a bad neighbour after all...

Spoiler: Rivalries

Meanwhile our research ship SIS Leif Ericson had made a worrisome but simultaneously thrilling discovery out in the unclaimed territory between the Collective and the Trade League. They had found something... a something of colossal proportions.

Spoiler: Leviathans

Oh, the new president was still doing a worse job than Cheetory6 and unrest was starting to brew upon Meat World...

Spoiler: Trouble

[PvtUrist]

Bring Cheetory6 back Bring Cheetory6 back Bring Cheetory6 back

Wow more flying squids

"Those who cannot be profited with must be profited from" Gee this sounds familiar

[wgeurts]

Out With the Old & In With the New

2255-08-21

The president had died of old age! Aged 86 the lesser version of Cheetory6 had finally left his office, and the Scummers which had become somewhat fed up with his mismanagement were overjoyed at the opportunity to shake up the political scene and hopefully bring about progress in Scummer society. The Free Thought Council was expected to win roughly 42% of all votes, with the Alien Compassion Watch predicted to come second with 27% votes. No party would be able to hold an absolute majority, and thus a coalition would be required regardless. The Free Thought Council's candidate was Annadog40, whilst Laladucks was running for the Alien Compassion Watch. If nothing unexpected were to happen, Annadog40 would take the position. Both candidates promised to increase the productivity of the Scummer Interplanetary Assembly.

Spoiler: Election

After 4 months all the votes were collected from the many Scummer planets (4 as off now) and the winner was called...

Spoiler: Election Results...

Annadog40 is our new president! Salutations.

During the election campaigns however Ksenia Zhirova, the Mediator of Zoroaster, passed away of sickness. She was a truly great Scummer, devoting her life to spreading awareness of our intergalactic neighbours and preaching a message of peace and harmony. The people's of Zoroaster mourned her passing deeply, and requested government aid to complete one of her final projects: an intergalactic cultural exchange. Both candidates had promised funding to win over the Zoroasterians, and the new president kept to her promise.

Spoiler: The Death of a Great Scummer

Having been the former governor of our planets our president had to fill a vacancy, and the young Alisae was appointed. She governed over our planets for a solid 4 months, until she got arrested and as such had to be expelled from her office... instead The Worst was appointed as our new governor.

Spoiler: Short Live Reign

One year after being appointed Annadog40 was notified that the SIS Darwin sighted another research vessel in a far-flung system belonging to a previously unidentified nation. We made contact...

Spoiler: Space Birbs

These guys seemed friendly! They are our first contact to not have threatened or warned us upon our first communication exchange. The Compact of the Snuggly Duck also notified us about the existence of a Galactic Market upon which all goods were exchanged throughout the galaxy. All our prior contacts had conveniently forgotten to mention this... a bit rude honestly.

Spoiler: Galactic Market

Our scientists have also been as busy as ever! Two archaeological projects were held in formerly Irassian sites, revealing interesting new facts about their existence. A new kind of life-form was also encountered within space. Rather than being a giant squid they appeared to be... living crystals? Huh. Whatever floats their boat I guess.

Spoiler: Science!

[Raskolnikov]

I'm going to be honest, I think the worst might be a spy working for the snuggly ducklings who just showed up. Coincidence?