If Scummers Ruled the Galaxy... [Stellaris Lets-play]

[vonflare]

spooky sentient black hole that can see the future

[PvtUrist]

Welcome back commander o7

It's not on Earth is what I think is going on

[wgeurts]

I'm Through

2268-12-06

Nothing says "congratulations for becoming president" more than a fresh insult from another interstellar civilisation. The MAFIA-451 Incorporators most certainly seemed to think so.

Spoiler: Filthy Fleshbags

Nice to see you too!

Anyhow, that's not what's important. The black hole is acting up again, and it has summoned one of our scientists... Cheery Dog, who was recruited to replace wgeurts after his disappearance. Our scientists on Meat World had been sent coordinates telling Cheery Dog where he must go. Eerily enough, the message seemed to be spoken through wgeurts' own voice. Cheery Dog volunteered to go alone after hearing the news. He knew what had happened to his predecessor, but he believed that it was worth risking his life if doing so would help unravel the mystery behind wgeurts' likely death... although whether he is truly dead is now questionable.

Spoiler: REPRISE

Cheery Dog made his way to the black hole, and headed to the provided coordinates. What happens next is just as baffling as our previous encounter with whatever this is...

Spoiler: I'm Through

The Scummer Assembly passed a motion to contain all information regarding the black hole, out of fear for how the public would react. Cheery Dog too was gone, along with wgeurts...

Should we heed future messages from the Horizon?

[Annadog40]

I think someone is rigging the elections. I demand a recount!

[wgeurts]

WHAT WAS WILL BE

2271-06-09

The Scummer Assembly held an emergency session to discuss the matter of the ominous love poems addressed to RadiantCowbells. The atmosphere was grim, the representatives of Scummeran society obviously not at ease. The talks were due to start, until a messenger came running in, handing a note to President RayFrost. She nodded, then the mic crackled into life.

"Before we proceed to weigh our options regarding these strange tidings, I have a message for the Assembly. The Nameless have declared war on the United Mish-Mash Compact, and it would be wise to keep an observant eye on further developments. They are far from us however, and there are more pressing things at hand..."

Spoiler: Rise of the Nameless?

"RadiantCowbells has been addressed by the entity we know as the 'Horizon'. Prior to this gathering you all received a briefing from our head of Society Research, Equinox. RadiantCowbells has said he is willing to do as the Horizon wills..."

RayFrost is cut off by an uproar of chatter and murmuring...

Spoiler: THE TRINE THE QUINE THE TRINE

After many hours of debate an executive decision was made by Postie to send RadiantCowbells to

his doom

the Horizon. A ship was readied, and the brave scientist bid his farewells to his family and friends. He seemed to be certain he would not return, yet he remained determined. The ship took off, and flew towards the black hole, and once more the results were studied intensively...

Spoiler: Where The End Comes From

RadiantCowbells was no more, just as Cheery Dog and wgeurts. wgeurts' research vessel however was left in the space RC's had vanished, carrying fascinating research data. There was however a catch: it was pure gibberish to even our brightest minds. A few hours pass, and out of the blue an earthquake strikes meat world. Little damage is done, and few are harmed by the natural event, but a cavern is opened up upon Meat World with in it what appears to be some form of ancient temple...

Spoiler: Everything Is Fine

Our scientists are hesitant to draw a correlation between this freak incident and the final message from the Horizon. No sane man believed in the supernatural, not in an era where we ourselves shape our destinies. Nonetheless, a team was dispatched to survey the temple and uncover as many of its secrets as possible.

Spoiler: Yeah, This Is Normal

Right, this is normal. Our scientists still refuse to acknowledge anything strange is going on, assigning all rumours to conspiracy. The populace still not aware of what was truly going in however made some sick tunes out of these absurd messages. Never before has reggae been this good. A year goes by and nothing out of the ordinary appears to happen, calming the nerves of the Scummer administration. Or so they thought...

Spoiler: What The F***

Lord, save our souls.

[Postie]

Well wishes to the newest MafiaScum couple, RadiantCowbells x Black Hole

[wgeurts]

Treasonous Posties?

2272-10-25

The scientists of Meat World were tasked with the further examination and study of the "Messenger". The corpse bared a remarkable resemblance to our own kind, yet it differed in key areas. Some of the academic community hypothesized that the being was a cousin to our species, others proposed it was genetically-modified breed of Scummer or perhaps even an ancestor. Most notably Lead Scientist Postie supported that latter hypothesis, requesting government funding to carry out tests. Permission was granted, for what could possibly go wrong?

Spoiler: The Not-Scummer

As Postie started studying the corpse the Assembly was alerted of two new declarations of war within the galaxy. The Dread Empire had joined the Nameless in attacking the Mish-Mash Compact, however few believe the two parties are working together as allies. Furthermore, the Mafia-451 Incorporators had set out to convert those of the Most Serene Escargotligarchy of Rask, a small peaceful civilisation cut off from the galaxy by this pesky nuisance. Despite our concerns there's not much we can do to aid them.

Spoiler: Who Needs Diplomacy?

In the meanwhile Postie had succeeded in mapping the genome of the Messenger as well as recreating it... and then applying the genetic code to themselves through a viral agent without consulting the Scummer ethics board. The Messenger had indeed been an ancestor species to our own, it was more warrior-like and resilient by nature. Considering the strange happenings the last few years however... is it truly wise to be experimenting with this? The Assembly thinks we should, Postie was granted permission to work on her own to unravel the mysteries of the Messenger despite the breach of protocol.

Spoiler: Hold Up, Postie!

The planetary sirens flared into life, wailing out into the night. Scummers howled in agony and fell onto their knees, convulsing violently... they were changing.

Spoiler: POSTIE!

The military was mobilised to lock down the planet. Nobody knew what was going on, beyond the fact that Scummers were mutating spontaneously. A biological warfare unit was dispatched and discovered traces of a viral agent dispersed all throughout the cities of Meat World... only one could be responsible for this. Postie! All stardocks were isolated and shut down, nobody was to enter or leave the planet until the situation was controlled. After a few days the viral agents had died off, rendering them ineffective. Postie had been arrested and brought to the Assembly for questioning, flanked by military personnel. She had set loose the agent, converting the genome of the populace of Meat World to that of the Messenger. "What was, will be."

The newly mutated Scummers were stronger, more powerful, but also more aggressive. They rallied behind Postie and began to riot. RayFrost had no choice but to give her amnesty, lest the capital fall into chaos. Postie went onto found the Silver Guard: a Scummer Supremacy faction supported by the billions of Meat World. These are dark times...

Spoiler: Scummer Supremacists

[Annadog40]

Someone should report POSTIE and get them bananaed

[McMenno]

care to explain yourself, postie?

[wgeurts]

Strangers Amongst Us

2278-05-21

The galaxy was unsettled. War had broken out left, right and centre. The Most Serene Escargotligarhcy of Rask was losing their war against the Mafia-451 Incorporators, driven to their final line of defence upon their homeworld. It would likely not be enough, as the Mafia-451 were bombing the planet until they surrendered. They heartless robots didn't care if they were king of the ashes or not, they wanted to win. The Correct Path won the war against the Urist Commerce league, succeeding in humiliating their leadership and severely denting their authority. Meanwhile the U'ian Galactic Authority had declared war on Postie's Peoples Union. The Assembly having guaranteed the independence of the Posties was called to arms, but there's no means for us to reach their lands and provide aid...

Spoiler: Collapse of Galactic Order

The wars lead to an influx of refugees fleeing the chaos and seeking shelter upon Scummer planets. The precarious nature of the galaxy lead to concern amongst the scummers, further increasing support for the Supremacist Silver Guard amongst even those not mutated to the ancestral Scummer-genome. The Free Thought council was rapidly losing supporters in turn. After a few years it was time for an election; one which RayFrost was not expected to win again. The incumbent president endorsed Randomidget of the Alien Compassion Watch whilst the faction itself poured funding and resources into its campaigning efforts. They did not want to see Postie take power, for she opposed all things they deemed righteous and true...

Spoiler: Political Shakeup

Randomidget was expected to win the vote and a close battle between the Freedom Foundation and the Silver Guard would be fought out to claim the place of 2nd most influential faction within the SIA...

Spoiler: Results

Thankfully, Randomidget was elected into power. The Silver Guard however did win the 2nd largest number of votes, displacing the Free Thought Foundation from its once unquestionable place in society. One of the first question Randomidget would have to face was to end a trending and controversial debate within Scummeran society: interspecies marriage. The Scummers were known as a strongly liberal and progressive people, yet shifts in the social atmosphere meant that many were now uncomfortable with the notion. The Assembly voted as Randomidget put forward a motion... and the bill was approved thus legalising interspecies marriage to the distaste of the Silver Guard.

Spoiler: Xenophilia's Limits

Meanwhile, strange things were occurring upon the newly colonised planet Niflheim. Districts and infrastructure of Scummeran make already existed on the planet the colonists discovered. Furthermore, within a few years the planetary administration was recording anomalous levels of population growth. Scummers were seemingly materialising out of nowhere, bearing legitimate ID's that matched the planetary databases. Yet records of these individuals could not be found on any other external database not located upon the planet. It left the Assembly rather confused to say the least...

Spoiler: The Waiting World

[PvtUrist]

Why is everybody fighting /o\

[wgeurts]

Anix Gets Married & Other Shocking Things

2287-05-17

The Scummer Assembly stood in silence, showing respect to the fallen. The Escargotligarchy of Rask had sent out a transmission, a final transmission, announcing their defeat and telling the peoples of the galaxy to never lose hope and let the fire of freedom die out. The Mafia-451 Encorporators had bested them, and now they were being augmented with machinery to convert all Snail Duders into subservient cyborgs. This was not the end of the Snail Duders however, for a small community had made the SIA into its home. The populace of Scumemran Snail Duders counted 1 billion, and although they mourned the loss of their brethren they vowed to take revenge... someday. News was also recieved announcing a declaration of war by Mafia Universe of the Council of Storm-Z. Neither of these parties are particularly friendly, but it wouldn't help to stabilise the galaxy.

As well as this, the Posties lost a signifcant portion of territory to the U'ian Galactic Authority in a peace settlement. The Nameless had also made large gains within the Mish-Mash Compact's lands, which then sued for peace successfully. To guarantee the survival of democracy the Snugly Duck vowed to aid the Posties if war ever came to their lands again, a treaty the Scummers backed.

Spoiler: Dark Times

As if the wars weren't enough, the authorities of Niflheim suddenly silenced. All contacts with the planet went dark, and a research team was sent to investigate... What they found was disturbing.

Spoiler: The Colony That Never Was

Not all was bad however. The first interspecies marriage was officially acknowledged upon Meat World. To make things even stranger: it was lead scientist Anix who was getting married!

Spoiler: Prominent Marriage

Scummer society seemed to be settling down after the strange events following the Horizon signal; beyond the entire disappearance of a colony not much out of the ordinary had happened in a decade. The academic scene once more shifted its focus to studying the Irassian precursors, as well as study a new species of sentient being found in deep-space.

Spoiler: Void Clouds and Six-Legged Cows

The Assembly decided to leave the Void Clouds alone, letting them exist in peace. The most recent Irassian archaeological study had however yielded the coordinates of their supposed homeworld! We may be on the brink of an amazing find...

[Annadog40]

Go U'ian! Get da posties!

[wgeurts]

Things That Don't Involve War

2296-04-09

There's been a lot of war, violence, and uncertainty for the Scummers the last decade. Have this pretty image of these sentient space crystals as a quick breather.

Don't worry, they too want to kill us... particularly that giant planet sized one in the background.

Spoiler: Space Crystals

Anyhow, once more the elections had rolled up and it seemed like Randomidget would comfortably hold onto his position. The Silver Guard under Postie's leadership had dropped in popularity, allowing the Free Thought Foundation to once more allow Annadog40 to run as an opposition candidate. There was however a twist:



That's right, she died at the grand age of 100 mid-campaign. This left the election outcome pretty much decided, as nobody really wanted to support the Silver Guard and the Free Thought Foundation lack the funds or time to put forward a new candidate. Some hardline Free Thought supporters suspected foul play, but their ideas did not catch on.

Spoiler: Totally Not An Inside Job

Shortly after the election a group of disillusioned Silver Guard members left the party and founded the isolationist Closed Borders Center. They advocated a withdrawal from the galactic stage, leaving others to their own devices and avoiding conflict at all costs. Others concerns are not our own. Unlike the supremacists the CBC found support amongst the general populace too due to the wary sentiment caused by the unstable nature of our galaxy right now.

Spoiler: We Must Build A Wall!

Not all was worrisome for the Scummers however. After years of police campaigns the illegal activities of Mafia Universe upon Meat World had been thwarted, expelling them from our territories. The coordinates discovered leading to the ancient Irassian home-system had also turned out to be correct. A fleet of reserach vessel was dispatched to conduct archaeological studies, and a trove of findings followed.

Spoiler: Not War Stuff

It's slightly depressing to know that these interstellar six-legged cows had to raze their own home to try and avoid the plague that was wiping them out, and it doesn't bode well for the future of our own kind, but none the less the public was delighted to have their saga completed.

Last off, this mildly amusing insult sent to Randomidget by the Nameless.

[Papa Zito]

That's an excellent burn.

[Annadog40]

Rip me.

[wgeurts]

New Century, New Opportunities

2306-01-15

Time continued ticking and before the SIA knew it; it was the turn of the century. In the past hundred years the Scummers had become a significant player on the galactic stage, despite not intervening all too much with the affairs of others. The Scummer Interplanetary Assembly now held jurisdiction over 7 planets home to an astounding 156 billion scummers. Of these Scummers 22 billion were Trans-Scummeran (a genetically modified variant of the orignal Scummer which is less disagreeable then its predecessor), 21.5 billion were Scummer Mutatis (Postie's freakish warrior genome), and 25 billion were Half-Scummer (the descendants of that wild party decades back with the space traders). The remaining 87,5 billion consist of Droids as well as allother species permitted to call the SIA their home, many of which being the descendants of refugees.

To celebrate the coming of 2300 president Randomidget announced the funding of a colony ship which was to found the planet "Serene Home". The target planet was located in the Miderib star system. It was a bog world with two stars. This was to be the new home of the Snail Duders within the SIA territories. Only 17 billion Snail Duders remained in the galaxy, the Mafia-451 Incorporators having cybernetically converted 43.5 billion of their kind. Serene Home was to be a new beginning, but also a statement of hope.

Spoiler: Serene Home

In the first 3 years passing the advent of 2300 there was a sharp influx of refugees entering Scummer planets. The surge was too much for Meat World, which saw a rise in unemployment. This in turn lead to a rise of criminal activities as individuals turned to shadier means of supporting themselves.

Spoiler: Darn Legal Immigrants Stealing Mah Jobs

This was unfortunate for Randomidget as an election as coming up. The first polls expected him and the Alien Compassion Watch to win, but as unrest upon Meat World grew the Free Thought Council lead by Maestro gained popularity. He was campaigning for increased opportunities within Scummer cities, a promise that was very tempting to those unhappy with the current state of Meat World.

Spoiler: First Election Poll

This portion of societies backing was all that Maestro needed. Once the polling stations were closed and the votes counted the FTC was announced the winner. Maestro is also the first non-humanoid President the SIA has ever had. As soon as the political season started Maestro and the FTC set to work promoting job opportunities within Scummer planets. They succeeded.

Spoiler: New Century, New President

Despite things going well within the SIA, the galaxy remained volatile. The Posties were once more under attack by the U'i, and were losing badly. In a surprise twist of events however the Scummer Moderation Collective as well as the Mafia-451 Incorporators teamed up to attack the U'i, probably attempting to contain this rising threat whilst they still could...




In the academic sector the most notable discovery was that of vast cache of ancient books from a now extinct civilisation that apparently once lived upon Elysium. Intensive studies showed that they never left the Iron-age. Sagas filled with wondrous tales of warriors, great battles and incredible minds were also translated in abundance and released to the public. The populace of Elysium was filled with pride, and already film-adaptations of the works are under development.

Spoiler: Tales of Yore

[McMenno]

rando btfo

[Annadog40]

GO U'ian! Kick their butts!

[Raskolnikov]

Yayy
451 will pay for this one day!

[wgeurts]

Scandals & Lasers

2312-06-05

"

...our programme gathered a lot of incriminating information related to key officials within your administration.

What should you do?

Well, I think $5 billion (SIA dollars) is a fair price for our little secret..."

The Assembly was facing a data breach, a group of hackers or an individual purportedly having gained access to the personal systems of many prominent officials. They demanded an enormous sum of money to say silent, but it would not be worth it... Scummers don't give into extortion. Given the fact that the government systems had gone down the other day the incident and threat were being treated as genuine.

Spoiler: Anonymous

Three days passed, and eventually the deadline was met without any funds being transferred. Within a few hours reports of an enormous data dump popped up on social media, revealing widespread corruption throughout the administration. Governors Chickadee and Majiffy as well as Lead Scientists Anix and Davsto were all caught up in the allegations, and were thus expelled from their positions. The public was furious, and the Alien Compassion Watch observed anxiously as their popularity took a nosedive. To make matters worse, the final remaining governor and ex-president Randomidget died as well at the age of 97.



Almost every key position within the SIA was now vacant, allowing a new generation to step in. MathDino, Kison, and Ether were appointed as governors, whilst Shadoweh, Maruchan, Bellaphant and Papa Zito were appointed various lead positions in the Scummer science community.

Spoiler: Scandalous!

Further reports of a streak of shootings upon the newly colonised Serene Home were also leading to unrest amongst the populace. The Snail Duders had come here to start over, now they were being sniped. No perpetrator could be found so the Assembly released funding for a wide-scale planetary investigation.

Spoiler: Sniping the Snails

After a number of months a vast network of limestone caves was found beneath the surface of Serene Home, and teams were dispatched to survey them. It was going to take a considerable amount of time to flush anybody out... if they were even there.

Spoiler: Hide 'n Seek

Thankfully, the operation was successful and a perpetrator was located and taken into custody. He was the lone survivor of a ship crash over 10 years ago. A Scummer left to his own devices for a decade within the bogs of the planet. The isolation had driven him insane, leading him to see the Snail colonists as monster invading the planet to kill him. Nonetheless, a court case was started to bring him to justice.

Spoiler: Space Maroon

During this entire ordeal the Scummer Space Force had also undergone some major upgrades to protect the SIA territories from the volatile political situation within the galaxy if need be. They also provided us a means to hopefully clear away the pesky light balls that zapped any moving object to smithereens. These balls of death blockaded our only means of leaving our section of the galaxy, and had done so for a hundred years.

Spoiler: The Centurion Fleet

The fleet was given orders to clear the system, and thus they set off for the second time in a hundred years...

Spoiler: Engaged

The light balls were vicious. Our fleet managed to take down 4 of the 6 before being forced into retreat due to heavy losses. 17 ships were downed, taking with them the lives of 16382 Scummers.



Mafia Universe and the 451 have grown absurdly large, whilst U'i is taking heavy losses in a 2-front war.

[Annadog40]

Oh no U'i! You can do it!

[Papa Zito]

This is my favorite thread.

[the worst]

It fills my heart with joy every time I see the compact chillin over there and also being far from MU and the 451

[wgeurts]

This is my favorite thread.

<3

In all honesty, I'm having a lot of fun doing this.