Fiction Rumble II - Week 26 (Current Champion: Zaphkael)

[Something_Smart]

Okay, I'll give a four-day extension.

(expired on 2019-08-27 17:00:00)

[popsofctown]

Spoiler: Habel's Freedom, 647 words

Habel held his camel's hump in both hands as it trekked across the desert, mile after mile. Where were he and this camel heading next?

Amidst the vast expanse of sand, Habel sighted a group of figures. Two men on camels, and two men on foot. He skewed his path to meet them, and they stayed on their path.

The tallest man, atop a camel, leads it over to greet Habel. "I am Tashir. What brings you into the desert? With no caravan, no less." Tashir's skin is a different shade from Habel's, and so is that of the rest of the group. Not one that should bear him any ill will, though.

"I have escaped as a slave. I must get to a town where my ownership is unknown."

"Ah." Tashir responds. Seeing how Habel is clothed, it isn't a hard sell.

"You should join our caravan. You will become lost, otherwise. And there is always the risk of meeting a band it in the desert. We can help eachother."

Habel's heart is warmed. He'd never known this sort of mutualism in slavery.

"Of course."

They journey on the caravan's path, those on camels in the front, the two without in the back. It feels too hot for many words. Habel learns the group is a clan that always travels together. They have currency they'd like to spend in the town they are headed to. Habel occasionally sips water from his canteen, clutching the camel tighter with his knees to balance when he uses his hand this way.

Tashir speaks, not stopping his camel to do so. "Matur has run out of water. Would you give him a turn with your canteen, Habel? Caravans always share, together. We're stopping by an oasis soon, and we all shall refill."

The sweaty Habel clutches the canteen briefly. He'd been rationing the water himself.

But this is how free people associate. A new thing to learn.

"Here."

Matur, one of the ones on foot, sips the canteen judiciously as they continue, by no means disrespecting Habel's generosity. Habel continues to ride, the heat all the more taxing without his water. But he only needed to hold on, and let the camel do the walking. Thank goodness he'd had the foresight to steal it.

After two more hours, there was still no sign of the oasis.

"Are we close?" Habel asked.

"Very close."

Tashir circled his camel in front of Habel, stopping for a moment to speak. "Agupt is getting very weary traveling on foot. I think you should give him a turn on your camel. When we reach the oasis, we can cycle again."

Habel looks down at Agupt, who does look very weary, and had been a few paces behind Matur for the past mile.

"Of course." Habel complies, awkwardly dismounting the camel, a first in his life. He helps Agupt get on, and whispers to the camel that the new rider will not be harsh.

They continue onwards. Habel walks alongside Matur, behind the other three.

"May I have the canteen back?"

"At the oasis."

Habel feels parched, and weak. For a mile, he keeps up with Matur. For the next mile, he can't do any better than seven paces behind.

And then, he realizes they are all slipping out of reach altogether. Habel lacks the strength to keep up.

"Wait!" He has enough strength to yell, where they can all surely hear him.

But not a single head turns.

"Come back!" Even louder, for the greater distance.

Tashir pulls several canteens out of the bags saddled on his camel and distribute them among the group. But he does not look back.

"No" Habel mutters.

He plods forward, slowly for about an hour more, in empty hopes they change their mind. But what changes is Habel's consciousness, as dehydration blacks him out. And he never wakes up.

[Something_Smart]

Spoiler: Creature

The lack of quotation marks made the story somewhat hard to follow, and you have a lot of telling rather than showing. However, despite that, you did a good job building up the world and the plot. The timing in particular was very good, devoting enough time to the parts on the surface at the beginning and end to get context for the events but not so much that they took away from what happened underground. There are some times when the phrasing is either confusing or overly blunt, which I assume is probably a language thing, but to me at least it doesn't really take away from the story that much.

Spoiler: popsofctown

Tenses are important It's pretty hard to get into a story that constantly switches from past to present tense and back... I don't know if you're a native speaker but either way that's something that you can improve
Other than that though, the plot was well-executed, if mostly predictable (from the way they were asking him for stuff I was expecting them to kill him intentionally, rather than just leave him to die). For only 647 words you did a good job of establishing setting, characters, conflict, and (ironic) resolution.

Spoiler: The Winner

Creature wins.

Both stories had some grammatical weaknesses, and both worlds were fascinating with great setups for their respective ironic endings, but Creature's world was a little easier to get into, and his plot was a little more nuanced and interesting. Nice job to both of you though!

[popsofctown]

Super happy to undefaultificate Creature's win.

English is my first language

I've been playing some forum DnD which is generally written present tense but my brain knows for a story I want past tense so it's hard times.

[Creature]

There are some times when the phrasing is either confusing or overly blunt, which I assume is probably a language thing

I had to cut off quite a lot of words because it went way past the word limit. Here's the original unedited one (may contain some grotesque errors):

Spoiler: The Rocky Caves (original), 2583 words

This was it. I failed.

I didn’t even reach close. My name showed up only twenty pages later when each page had 50 names. My chance of ever getting to the so desired university was done.

I would need to pay up to 18,000 new dollars a year just to get pre-university grade. No one from my family would ever be able to pay that up and I’d be on debt for life. Maybe I was really doomed to just be a Typhoonware low worker.

---

One day, my rich cousin, Jeremy, visited home. Previously I didn’t realize I had a rich cousin, but now that I do, I feel like he’s the worst person I could ever borrow money from.

- Ryan! - He called my name with a stupid grin.

He was quite obnoxious and I remember him speaking quite long, but I didn’t process a single bullcrap from him. Until he asked me about the university. How the fuck did he know that? Who told him that?

Anyway, I was quite vague when speaking about it, but eventually I was forced to admit I failed and for fuck’s sake I decided to hint I need his money borrowed.

- Ryan! - Jeremy spoke a little more serious and attentive way, but then quickly returned to his grin. - I have the perfect solution for you!

He then proceeded to type on his device and it printed something that resembled one of those cards generic stores like to give out for their clients.

- Pay attention! Because this is how I got this rich. - My cousin spoke as if I was really interested to hear his life achievements.

He proceeded to talk about...huh...mining?

From what I got, I’d work at mining some pretty valuable mineral in the rocky caves for seven days. Apparently that mineral should be valuable enough to get myself signed into the first grade if I worked average. Jeremy then proceeded to talk exclusively about what to do afterwards, but I had no interest.

To be honest, I wanted mostly Jeremy to just go away. After he “peaced out”, I just looked at the card again and thought it was my only way of getting to the university.

---

I learned the rocky caves is a pretty dangerous largely unexplored set of caves. It had a lot of mutant creatures ready to attack anyone they detect. I’d need to be drugged, which would make my body stronger and more agile to take on them. It was made pretty clear I would be risking my life for money.

First came the interview. The contractor would ask me to tell my motivations and what I intended to do afterwards. He also tested me through the whole time, I knew he would be ready to ditch me off if I showed any hesitation. I also noticed he seemed to be feeding my greedy through the whole interview.

When the drug was injected into my veins, I didn’t feel stronger or more agile, I just felt more whole body freezing. I was told to rest until my time came. When it did, I was given a uniform, all the stuff I’d need to mining and to provide light, my own supplies and sleeping bag, and I also got a light-rechargeable plasma gun.

After going through an endless maze of tunnels, the transport stopped when the map seemed to show a vast unexplored void forward and dropped me alongside three other workers.

The first one is named Kenny, he apparently is a retired soldier with the most generic greed out of all. He would taunt us occasionally for not working “as hard as he did”. His only good quality was his obsession with being the hero, keeping me from having to take the monsters by myself.

The second one is named Madalena, a fairly elderly woman who claims to have worked almost her entire life in the caves. Sometimes she would talk to me criticizing the other two workers, but eventually I figured she would criticize me behind my back to each of them. She also seemed to carry extra weapons with her.

The third one is named Ethan and he seemed to be quite of a, sometimes annoying, science fan. He took responsibility for all the complicated electronic stuff, such as the AurDrones, mini-drones designed to send the extracted aurbornite to the contractors.

---

The progress went pretty slow. About four days of mining, we barely got 4 pounds each. During the fifth day, Kenny just grunted:

- This won’t get us anything! - Even though I think that would be enough to pay the first year.

- Sometimes we score big, sometimes we don’t. - The woman tried to pull the philosopher and then proceeded to start talking about how she had her ups and downs in her last career.

The retired soldier soon got angry at her while Madalena kept smiling. Ethan meanwhile looked to the path that would lead to somewhere not in the map. I instantly noticed the bad idea and whispered him not to do that, which the other two overheard.

- Do what? - Kenny dumbly asked. Madalena pointed forward and Kenny immediately realized what she meant. - Are you fucking crazy? It’s a fucking unexplored area! May be a nest of those fuckers ahead!

- What? A retired soldier is scared? - The woman taunted. - Don’t worry, you can stay here while we find more aurbornites scattered somewhere.
Madalena would feed up his greed enough to change his expression to a challenging grin. I had a lot of objections to this idea, but I expected them to not change their mind.

- We’re returning if this gets bad. - I warn them.

---

Kenny took the front. Some rat-like and bat-like child-sized creatures would eventually pop up in small groups, but not strong enough to take on Kenny’s strength and Madalena’s weapons. Though, I still had to crush one of these things’ head.

- Woah! It’s our lucky day! - The ex-soldier gasped.

It was none other than a big wall with the aurbornite clearly visible. It would grant not only all the money I need to university, but also the money to ascend to upper class.

- Let’s clean this wall up! - The woman hyped up.

We were now making quite the progress. As we mined through the walls, I felt something wrong, as if we weren’t supposed to be doing that. It turned out to be right, I could distinguish the figures showing up in the distance and the growls coming from them. My workmates also took notice.

- Pack these things! We gotta go! - Madalena shouted.

Kenny and she had taken the defense, the former mostly using his strength and while the latter using all sorts of weapon available. Ethan prepared the AurDrones while I gathered the most aurbornite possible.

One of these rats bit my left arm, but luckily the drug didn’t allow my limb to be teared up. With my other arm, I managed to twist its head. However, a bat attacked me from the above and I had to keep it away enough to blast it with my plasma gun.

- Fuck this, we gotta go now! - I shouted.

They were coming from all places. We left half the minerals behind and we tried to follow the map back to our previous “safe” location. However, we ended diverted the wrong way.

Somehow we ended up in an underground building. As soon we entered it, we closed the door with the closest thing we found: a large candlestick. I noticed someone was missing:

- Where’s Madalena? - I tried to catch my breath.

I had a nasty bite on my left arm and plenty of scratches from the giant bat around my face. Ethan had a bite mark on his angle and was limping. Kenny had the worse however, his back was bloodstained and he had a missing ear and missing fingers, which would be incurable even with the drug.

- She’s gone. - The ex-soldier said.

The door somehow was resisting well, eventually the attacks diminished. I suggested it would be a good idea to rest here. Kenny objected, but eventually conceded as he really needed to rest. I ended falling asleep too.

---

I woke up to a brighter room and all its...signs? - visible. Ethan seemed like a child in a video game conference. I would ask what the fuck was he doing.

- This place is amazing! - He would then proceed to talk about each detail I wouldn’t bother about. - We can make millions with this discovery!

I was still pretty confused to react, but the millions behind it got me excited. Just then, Kenny woke up, visibly tired, but he seemed better than last time.

- We should be able to go back. - The soldier suggested.

Kenny removed the candlestick and opened the door carefully, just to close it and put it back. I was about to ask what was it, but he just looked at me in horror and said:

- We’re fucked.

Suddenly, the door started banging hard. It was still able to resist, but definitely was giving in bit by bit.

- I know an exit! - Ethan shouted.

We ran across multiple hallways following Ethan.

- I have checked all this building except this part that seemed like a large corridor. - He showed us a door leading to a fair fall, but not that much of a fall. - I don’t know if there’s an exit ahead or it just leads to a dead end. Once we go in, there’s no return.

Kenny just jumped in. “Dammit, Kenny,” I thought “we should’ve thought better about it. You’re right though, we didn’t have much time.” I soon followed him and after me Ethan, but he seems to have felt pain in his injured ankle.

We ran through the corridor while Kenny described the giant arachnid supposedly chasing us. Ethan suddenly tripped and fell behind. When I was heading for his rescue, Kenny pushed me back forward:

- We can’t stop now!

I forced myself back for him. The arachnid had appeared in the distance and was quickly catching up Ethan. I tried blasting the monster for no use and soon it would be catching on me if I stood still. Ethan was already panicking, when suddenly I see something being thrown and then I hear a loud explosion.

- Didn’t think I would need to use that woman’s weird shit. - Kenny commented.

The arachnid seemed to have stopped moving. Recovered from the shock, we went to the end of the long corridor. It had only one fairly out of reach exit. The soldier gave me footing to climb up, followed by Ethan, whom I grabbed his hand to help him climb up.

As I lend the hand to help Kenny climb, I heard that thing coming again. Kenny looked at me in fear before a giant spider-like leg pierced him through his back. I had to push myself and Ethan down through the exit.

---

At this point I had absolutely no idea where we were. There seemed to have an underground river flowing through my feet. Eventually we found a path of dead monster bodies. Following it, we found a sleeping bag resting against a slightly elevated platform.

- Stay still! - I felt a gun cylinder on my back.

The figure walked around revealing to be Madalena smirking at us.

---

After the casual meeting, we’ve talked about how we got here. Madalena reported her device has broken and she seemed to be walking in circles, clearing the area.

Without anywhere to go, we just talked about casual life things. Ethan revealed his scientific projects. I had the university as my life goal, but then I realized I had no idea what to do after that. Madalena seemed happy just working at the caves. Eventually I questioned why and she answered:

- I don’t trust anyone outside this cave. They aren’t going through the same we are. They just put their best false smile, talk pretty vague and say everything is gonna be fine. Glad I don’t even need to meet them again.

After resting, we explored the surroundings with an actual map. I heard wing flaps on the ceiling. None other than five, six and counting bat-like creatures were there. It meant we were on the right track. I could blast two, but soon some of them were on me. Luckily Madalena shoot them off, while smirking.

It was an obviously bad idea, but we decided to take a run anyway. The monsters kept piling up. It wasn’t long until we found ourselves surrounded both two directions. The woman still seemed to be enjoying:

- Take this! - She gave me a weird shaped gun.

I shot the closest of these things, engulfing it in fire. I soon got used to it. We were in circle. While I had the fire, Ethan had the electricity. The elderly woman seemed to be attacking with a retractable sword like a maniac.

No matter how great we did, the creatures would keep multiplying. I could see a small hole leading to a small tunnel on the wall a little ahead, which others did see too. As a last resort, Madalena gave me one of her explosive devices and lit up a red flare, telling me to go. She then went straight towards the monsters.

I couldn’t think a lot. I just went through the tunnel alongside Ethan. It was so small we almost had to crawl. I heard an explosion behind, from her probably. Still, I didn’t think about it and just set the device. It started beeping and the intervals between the beeps progressively became shorter until it set off.

---

The next day, I was transported back to the same place I got interviewed. Ethan kept talking enthusiastically about our discoveries. Eventually two men in uniform carrying guns ordered him to come along, while telling me to wait my turn. I could still hear him talking enthusiastically in the hallway with another man. A few minutes later, he went silent abruptly.

Later the same two men showed up to guide me. I met the contractor once again. He was smiling the same way Jeremy did. I asked him about Ethan, which he vaguely answered:

- He’s already outside waiting for you. - As he led me to the same kind of room I took the injection. - It’s to nullify the drug effects. Don’t worry, you will be fine after a rest.

He left the room, leaving me with the doctor, who told me to lie down. As he walked with the syringe, I felt something wrong in his eyes.

God forgive me for what I was about to do next.

I punched him away from me, apparently knocking him out. I hid behind the door as the guards kicked the door open. I kicked the first man strong enough to send him to the wall while I grabbed the other by the neck and cracked it. Before the other could get up, I took the first one’s gun and shoot him two, three times. By this time, the contractor showed up in the door and I could see his expression turning into horror.

It was all your fault. I should have never trusted you. Fuck you, Jeremy.

[Creature]

I've been playing some forum DnD

Link?

Your story seems interesting too, pops. Thought I would win solely by size.

The Prompt:

"A difficult choice."

2000 words.

(expired on 2019-09-12 17:00:00)

[popsofctown]

Um the site is called RPGcrossing. Krazy mods a game there.

[Something_Smart]

I had to cut off quite a lot of words because it went way past the word limit.

Oh, that makes sense. I had a similar problem with my last story.

[Something_Smart]

I wonder if going back to having an /in phase would be a good idea, because it would force people to commit publicly to writing something.

[Creature]

I had to cut off quite a lot of words because it went way past the word limit.

Oh, that makes sense. I had a similar problem with my last story.

I personally dislike setting a word limit. I'd like make it open.

I don't think someone will write an actual book anyway lol

[Carcalilly]

/in maybe I guess

[Creature]

pops + S_S + Carca?

I may try to write my own fiction too

[kuribo]

/in


Time to reclaim the throne I built

[popsofctown]

what does in mean it means you promise to write something?

[Zaphkael]

Yeah, pretty much
We used to do that, and everyone who /inned and didn't write was put in the hall of shame

[popsofctown]

I wrote and didn't in last time, do I still get to be part of the hall of shame???

[kuribo]

I personally dislike setting a word limit. I'd like make it open.

The reason for a word limit is because writers, by our very nature, are egotistical little beasts. We hesitate to "murder our darlings," as someone once called editing. If a sentence does not serve a purpose, it should be cut, and without remorse. Longer does not mean better, one can often cut a large number of pointless sentences from first draft and hold the reader's attention.

A writer is in a constant battle for the attention of his or her reader, especially in this day and age. And so, we must ask ourselves, "does this sentence serve a purpose?" Does it provide information, shed some new light; does it set the table or perhaps provide tone? If you cannot answer yes, the sentence is merely distracting the reader from the story.

That's my personal philosophy, at least. I understand it's a very old school way of writing.

[popsofctown]

I didn't proofread my story even one time, obviously

[Something_Smart]

Spoiler: Pinball Wizard, 1749 words

Angelo slammed down the phone, causing its beat-up rotary dial to spin back and forth with a muted ringing sound. Sweat glistened off his forehead from the sweltering summer heat. After a brief moment of contemplation, he buried his face in his hands, exclaiming to no one in particular, “It’s hopeless.”

Angelo glanced dismally around his apartment. Save the chair and table he was currently using, all the furniture was stacked up in the corner. Through the door to the kitchen he could see the distinctive rainbow pattern that meant that Kat had returned. But although the furniture was gone, the room was far from empty. Eight pinball machines stood scattered about the room, leaving barely enough space to walk from one side to the other. There were also four in the kitchen, and two in each bedroom.

Sixteen pinball machines. For weeks now they had rested, silent, motionless, while Angelo had unsuccessfully searched for a buyer. Angelo wiped his brow again. The heat was stifling, and the newspapers had said it was only going to get hotter for the next few weeks.

The door swung open and Kat wandered in. Skinny with long blond hair, ratty jeans, and a tie-dye shirt with a peace-sign necklace, she was the antithesis of Angelo’s close-cropped brown hair, shorts, and white tank top revealing powerful muscles. She smiled weakly as she entered. “Still no luck, huh?”

“The last person on my list just called back and said he’d found a different supplier.”

Kat leaned lazily against the doorway. “Sorry, Angie. I know you hate to admit it, but there’s really no two ways about it this time. I was right and you were wrong.”

Angelo clenched his fists. “I told you not to call me that! And besides, I’ll find a way to sell them. The salesman promised that I’d be able to make a huge profit if I was just patient enough. Just give me one more week.”

“One more week?” Kat’s smile disappeared. “Angelo, those stupid things have been clogging up your apartment for almost a month. And because of what? You believed some bullshit a con man told you?”

“He’s not a con man!” Angelo gestured wildly, almost knocking the phone off of the table. His expression softened somewhat as he picked up the phone and put it back. “Multi-level marketing is the next big thing, okay? It’s the way of the future.”

“Pyramid schemes are not the way of the future. That Ponzi guy was doing this stuff forty years ago.”

Angelo let out a deep breath. “All right. Okay. That’s not important right now. What’s important is that I need to get the money back that I spent on these things. I practically cleaned out my savings to afford them.”

“Money, money, money. Everything’s always about money with you, Angie. You know what? That’s what’s keeping you from really finding yourself. You’re too focused on getting rich to really look within yourself and see what’s important. I think you should donate them to charity.”

Angelo rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t start with that hippie bullshit. Sure, feelings are important, but this is twelve thousand dollars. What are you, a commie?”

“Don’t compare me to those monsters! The Soviets use violence and intimidation. I am a pacifist. I don’t believe in harming anybody.”

“Yeah, just like that Liberation Club you were in. Real peaceful.”

Kat flashed an angry glare. “Look, the Liberation Club was a good idea. They’re all about fighting corporate dominance and corrupt politics. It’s not my fault they decided to start killing people to prove their point.”

Angelo arched an eyebrow. “Not your fault, really? Even though you were the one who introduced your brother to the club?”

“DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT MY BROTHER!” Kat’s face began to redden, but she placed her hands on her chest and began breathing deeply. The two of them remained in silence, looking at each other across the sea of pinball tables.

At last she spoke again. “Fine. If you want to keep your stupid pinball machines, you can keep your stupid pinball machines.” She slammed the door and walked out.

“Wait--” Angelo got up to chase after her, but was thwarted by the lever of a pinball machine jabbing his shin, causing him to cry out in pain and fall to the ground. By the time he was on his feet again, Kat was nowhere to be seen.

“Shit.” Angelo muttered to himself. “Stupid thing!” He shoved the machine, causing it to lurch precariously and make a dreadful noise. “All right, Angelo, get it together. She’ll come back if you can just get rid of these machines.”

He called the salesman, who laughed and gleefully offered to buy them back from him at one-fifth of the price he had paid, in response to which Angelo angrily hung up. He called local amusement halls, who told him they only bought directly from suppliers for economic reasons. Finally, in desperation, he walked to the corner store down the street and asked the cashier, a nervous-looking young woman of no more than twenty, if she knew anyone who might be interested in buying a bunch of Starrix 64 pinball machines.

She began to reply, “Oh, uh, well I’m not sure if--” Then she paused, and her eyes widened. “Wait. Y-- you said Starrix 64?”

Angelo nodded.

She took a step back. “Didn’t you read today’s paper? Those machines are-- uh...” She trailed off and pointed toward the store’s newspaper rack.

Angelo picked up the paper and began to read.

RECALL-- studies reveal a mechanical flaw in the Starrix 64 pinball machine that can cause it to explode at high enough temperature and humidity.

Starrix Corporation will fully reimburse anyone with an original proof of purchase. Resale machines do not qualify for this.

Angelo let out a low whistle.

The cashier spoke again. “Do you... do you have those?”

“Yeah,” replied Angelo.

“Well, uh, you better get rid of them fast. They’re apparently really dangerous.”

Angelo was still struggling to process what he’d just read. “Okay. Thank you,” he responded absentmindedly as he put the newspaper down and began to walk back to his apartment.

It wasn’t until he reached it that the reality of what he had just found out sunk in. He no longer needed to sell sixteen pinball machines. He needed to sell sixteen

bombs

.

Now who would be interested in buying sixteen bombs?

All at once, the realization hit him like a wave. In the same instant, he knew exactly how he could sell the machines, and exactly what the implications of doing so would be.

At that moment, the summer heat went from uncomfortable to unbearable. He doubled forward, holding onto the backboard of a pinball machine for support. He felt queasy and faint, and his ears began to ring violently.

It took him a minute to realize that the ringing was not his ears, but rather the phone. He stared at it with a sort of loathing, like one would look at a childhood enemy one wished never to see again. He willed it desperately to stop, but it refused, cutting through the stagnant and humid air like a knife through Angelo’s conscience.

At long last, he picked up the phone, knowing with absolute certainty who was calling, but still praying that he was wrong, praying that it would just be a telemarketer, or maybe his landlord or his boss.

But to no avail. At the other end was a voice he knew all too well. “Heeeeeeey, Angelo! Long time no see.” Hearing that voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

“Hi, Mark.” This was none other than Kat’s younger brother. The infamous ringleader of the extremist Liberation Club. Angelo had known him since high school when he had started dating Kat. Mark was a smooth talker with a sociopathic streak. He joined the Liberation Club on Kat’s request and immediately took it from a peace-loving protest group to a violent anarchist army. Neither Angelo nor Kat had spoken to him in over seven years.

Mark continued. “So, I saw your ad in the paper, and I couldn’t help but wonder... are those babies still for sale? Because let me tell you, we would love to get our hands on a few of those. You know, to help out the kids and all that.”

Angelo felt sick to his stomach. But the alternative was even worse. He needed the money, or he’d probably lose his apartment, and subsequently his job. Kat was happy to live off the land, but Angelo didn’t think he could handle it. Besides, she had left him to do what he wanted with them. America’s supposed to be a free country, right? He can do what he wants with his own property, right? If the person he sells it to does something wrong, that’s on their conscience, not his.

“Yeah, Mark, I’ve got ‘em all. Twelve thousand dollars cash for all sixteen.”

“Awesome! You’re the man, Angelo. I can swing by right now with the truck, if you’ve got time.”

“Sure, that will work.” Angelo hung up. The anxiety was completely gone. He’d made his decision. Mark arrived with his truck, and the two men loaded the machines in. After watching Mark drive away, Angelo took a quick trip to the bank, then went back to his apartment and dialed a number on the phone.

“Hey, Kat, it’s me. I’ve got something to tell you...”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One week later, Angelo sat at the table in his living room, which was now returned to normal at last, reading the newspaper and sipping coffee.

Kat entered sleepily from the bedroom and kissed him on the cheek. “Good morning, honey. I just wanted to say again how proud I am of you for donating all of those machines to charity. I guess you’ve turned over a new leaf; you’ve been acting like a completely different man now.”

Angelo nodded absentmindedly. “Yeah I suppose I have.” He stared off into the distance.

Kat nodded. “I wish more people in the world would understand that peace and cooperation are more important than competition and violence.” She turned around and noticed his blank expression. “Angelo, is something wrong?”

Angelo glanced down at the newspaper article he’d been reading.

TRAGEDY-- Arcade Hall Explosion Kills 13. Foul Play Suspected.

After a moment of contemplation, he turned back to Kat and put on a serene smile.

“Nah,” he replied.

[Creature]

I may try to write my own fiction too

Posting here to force myself to do that.

[student]

Spoiler: The Monkey (86 words)

The monkey clutches its banana harder. Its hand is trapped in a hole that is just large enough for its hand to enter, but not enough for its fist to come out.

The scientist observes the monkey intently while writing down her observations. For the 38th time, her experimentation on smart monkeys had ended in failure. She studies her notes and mutters to herself, surely, by mutating the ARMC5 gene some way or another, surely, the experiment would work. Surely.

The scientist clutches her notes harder.

[Creature]

Spoiler: Calypso, 1992 words

The sky has turned completely dark. The sea got more agitated, testing the tiny boat made of plastic barrels, rotten wood planks and improvised fence.

There were sixteen human beings in a pretty tiny area, mostly children and women. They were all escaping from war, hunger and misery, seeking a new life across the Mediterranean sea.
However, at this moment they were as scared as they were on land. I grasped my Sandra’s hands, tighter.

The sea calmed down a bit, more like a calm before the storm. First came the rain, starting slow but gaining strength. Then the sea once again got agitated, but more intensively. The men began shouting orders, but there was nothing they could really do as the boat had no structure to be controlled.

One big wave shook the boat enough to push them out of the boat. Then the panic began. The men and women still in the boat desperately tried to take the children back to the boat, but to no avail. I held strong enough on what I judged to be the most stable plank, while also holding hands with my 11-year-old sister to keep her from being pushed away.

Suddenly one wave was enough to wash us both off the boat. My first instinct was to find and grab Sandra first then swim back to the boat. The boat was floating just there, empty. I swam closer to it, but it went in my direction and hit me hard.

I was still conscious and floating, but unable to move my muscles. I could see my sister made it to the boat with the help of one other man, but I felt the sea dragging me further away while she just shouted from the distance.

---

I woke up on some sort of the beach. I could see multiple trees in the distance, shaping a forest. As I walked towards it, I could hear birds chirping and leaves rustling. Many of the trees seemed to carry fresh looking fruits and my stomach rumbled. As I grabbed an apple and began eating it, I felt like I finally arrived paradise.

As I explored the place, I figured it was an island, a nice island. I felt like it was designed to fulfill my wishes. It was so beautiful, even when night began it felt like the best night I ever had. The days began passing, and, as they passed, worries went through my head: first, this wasn’t the continent I sought for; second, I still am missing someone.

As much as I fell in love with the island, I decided I had to go. I would proceed to grab whatever I could to build a boat, which included sticks and I eventually could shape wood planks. I followed a routine of waking up, eating, doing my chores and working on building the boat.

One evening, I heard a song, it sounded like a woman’s voice. As I approached the sound, I saw the most beautiful woman. She had light red hair, a skin color unknown to me and wore a pure white linen dress. She didn’t stop singing even when I went closer to her. It felt like she was shining.

When the woman finished her melody, she looked at me with a big smile. “Amru”, she began, “you finally arrived”. I didn’t know how she knew my name, but I was already in love with her. “Who are you?”, I asked. “I am Calypso”, she answered, “I’ve been here for you since the sea brought you here”.

I had so many questions, but my heart didn’t let my mind think. A force pushed me towards her lips. I slowly removed her white dress. This was going to be a long night.

---

I saw a pale woman lying in the bed. A man was sitting in a chair closer to her, completely silent and visibly sad. I was standing alongside a little girl, confused about what was happening. She was none other than my sister, the man was my father and the extremely ill woman was my mother.

The mother opened her eyes, immediately searching for my father, then for us. Her mouth opened, but no words came from. My father just gestured for her to stay silent.

As I approached her, I could tell how she was unrecognizable. She no longer had the energy when she would shout at me for running home and running unnecessary risks at my childhood, or when she would be protective of me and my sister.

Now she was just in the worst state possible. Eventually, she just partially closed her eyes partially and her chest stopped moving. The father gently closed it entirelly, looking pretty distant. She wasn’t even able to give her last words.

---

I woke up scared. It was morning already and I could spot Calypso close to the edge, staring the beauty of the island. As I approached her, she seemed to notice my sadness, showing a sympathizing smile. I decided to let it out to her:

I was born in a poor family as the second child. My parents had a total of six children. The fourth one was born dead and the youngest died of fever within 6 months of life. My oldest brother took his life.

I mostly bonded with my two years younger brother, third children of the family. I still remember the day we played hide and seek. I hid inside an empty ditch. When I realized he was taking too long to find me, I began seeking for him. When I turned the corner, I saw his body lying with a shot on his head.

I told her about my mother,: she was pretty religious, even though I couldn’t believe any good deity would allow such things to happen. Nonetheless she was still very protective of me. However, she fell sick and we didn’t get any medical help.

Telling Calypso my life story just made me search for her arms even more. Not only was her the perfect woman, but like a mother I lost. I was glad to be with her.

The days passed and I continued working on the boat, perfecting it as much as possible. However, when I finished it, I realized I didn’t want to go, but rather wanted to stay in the island with the yet still mysterious woman.

The days kept going and my past kept haunting me. I told her how my father got into alcohol. He would arrive later and shout at me and my sister, occasionally migrating to physical attack. He would always apologize, but he wouldn’t change.

There was one time he arrived home pretty drunk and got in a fight with my at the time 9-years-old sister and I charged at him. We had equal footing, but we both ended badly hurt and our relationship only got worse.

Calypso stood near the edge, beautiful as ever. She had a sympathetic expression. “It’s all gone in the past. The past shouldn’t bother you anymore. It’s now just you and I, forever”.

---

The sleep embraced me to another possible nightmare. However, it seemed fine at first. My father arrived home and he seemed to be pretty nice today, although sad and distant. I soon would find out why: “We’re gonna build a boat. You’re gonna help me gather wood planks, plastic barrels and some poles and ropes. We’re leaving this country”, he said bluntly.

I was initially reluctant to leave the land I saw my mother and siblings die, but I could tell this place was becoming inhabitable. We walked through multiple buildings, looking for somewhat good looking materials. We would work on multiple places, seeking for bits of money, and sometimes we would steal materials. Multiple friends and desperate families went to help us build the boat to travel the Mediterranean sea. I felt closer to my father than ever, but still couldn’t forgive him for his previous abusive behavior.

However, one day, I was silently following him through a desert street when I suddenly heard shots and they kept multiplying each second. There was a crossfire between the state and the terrorists and we were cornered among the abandoned buildings.

We ran through alleys, avoiding the source of the sounds. However, as we crossed one street, I sensed something crossing the air and I saw it hitting my father close to the ribs before he dropped on the ground.

I dragged him inside the building. He began to cry, he kept shouting the word “sorry”, saying he was a bad father. When I calmed him, he told me: “please, tell your sister I’m sorry and be the father she needed”. Then he kept repeatedly mumbling sorry slowly before going silent.

---

That’s it, I gotta leave the island, I decided. I had the boat ready. I was going to go back to the sea and find where Sandra could be, maybe then I could return to the island and start a new life right here with Calypso and her.

“Amru”, Calypso responded, “once you leave this island you can’t return”. My heart sunk. I really needed to protect my sister, if she’s even alive, because I promised my father. On the other side, I finally got to live a good life, I had a place to live, I had all the means to survive, I had peace finally, and a beautiful woman with me.
“Calypso”, I asked: “what if I stay?”.

“I know you worry a lot about your sister because she’s your last family”, Calypso answered calmly, “however, there’s no good chance she’s alive. If you go back to the sea, you will be again through a lot of danger, and even if you make it to the other side, there’s no guarantee you will have a good life there”.

I was deeply saddened, she actually had a point. “If you decide to stay, I can make you forget your past, I can give you the greatest life you could hope for, I am going to be what life didn’t give you”.

The more she talked, the more I felt her embracing me. I hugged her pretty hard, but said: “sorry, Calypso”. Slowly and depressed, I dragged the boat to the water and climbed up. As the boat sailed the sea, I watched her figure getting smaller and smaller, until she went missing, alongside the island.

---

My view slowly gained light, although still blurred. As I scratched my eyes, I realized I was lying down in a mattress in a tent with multiple people. I saw a woman wearing a white uniform taking care of a visibly tired man. She apparently noticed me and spoke something I didn’t understand.

Another woman came and I asked her what happened. “You were found lying on the beach and we brought you to the refugee camp”, she answered, “you just passed out, but in general, you’re fine”.

“Was there someone else?”, I asked and she said no. I then started to describe what the boat I was in previously with my sister looked like and gave details about the travel and Sandra. “No, we haven’t found any boat you’re describing, nor have we seen that girl”.

I kept insisting for anything that could indicate she was still alive, but to no avail. That was when I realized I made a bad choice. “Sir, I suggest you go to the bathroom”, she suggested, “here, let me lead you”.

As the woman led me through multiple blocks, I saw multiple tents and a huge diversity of men, women and children around. She stopped at a small building containing two doors, one for men and other for women.

I entered the men’s bathroom and found a mirror right over the sink. As I stared at my reflection, I realized what was my decision. I decided to live, and I am going to make it count.

(self reminder to not count this)

[Something_Smart]

Carca, kuribo, pops? Still interested?

I'm fine with an extension if anyone wants one.

[popsofctown]

my last one was so bad tho

[Something_Smart]

No it wasn't Other than the tense issue, I really liked it. (And I don't give false compliments.)

Besides, this isn't about being good, it's about having fun... if you enjoy writing, then write, and if you mess something up, then learn from it and try to improve it next time! \o/