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==TIER: POINTS
(12) MASADA -- The Airborne Toxic Event {Poor Isaac}
-- (The last time this band was submitted I rated it better than usual for its genre but not as good as Joppin'.) This song actually slaps. I think this would enter me-screaming-for-more territory with a different vocal interpretation with more range, but as is this is solid.
(10) HINAMIZAWA -- fhána {わたしのための物語 ~My Uncompleted Story~}
-- Surprisingly adventurous J-pop. This isn't a style that I normally give points to but this one has so much personality that it stands out. I need to learn more about some of these chord progressions for my own endeavors...
(8) USSR -- Erik Mjones {Lion of Love}
-- I was told this movie was on point but no one told me it was
this
much so. The screen in the back showing the gazelles getting
launched
was a high point. Is this kind of content even legal in Russia? The song itself is only kind of okay to me, but the amount of ham in this video made it required viewing.
(7) CANADA -- mouse on the keys {spectres de mouse}
-- but there's a cheetah on the drum set
I like the idea, but the implementation felt unfocused, like it spent too much time in transition between ideas.
(6) DENMARK -- Snail's House {Warp Star}
-- pls turn the vibrato down, the music doesn't need to be this synthy
I can see how this is the jam of a lot of people, but it's way, way too busy for me. Like I hate how much this misses my preferences, because I feel like this is several stylistic decisions away from being my runaway favorite in this Contest.
==TIER: POINTS?
(5) UGANDA -- Nihiloxica {Nilo Chug}
-- Oh, hello. Actually Ugandan. Nyege Nyege is affiliated with LGBT in Christian/Muslim Africa; dissonance to fight the power with. I feel like I should hate something like this that goes on for seven minutes, and yet I kind of don't. It's decent background music.
(4) RUSSIA -- Tori Amos {Precious Things}
-- More or less as usual, I can't relate to this song, but this sounds good enough to get points anyway.
(3) CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC -- Renaissance {Let It Grow}
-- It sounds nice. Those octave jumps are tough and she pulls them off. Ballads that use "love" in over 50% of its lines are a hard sell to me, so I welcomed the lengthy outro.
(2) TANZANIA -- Manaka Kataoka, Yasuaki Iwata, Soshi Abe and Hajime Wakai {Talus Battle}
-- I've never played this game, and I'm only aware of what goes on in the first part. Divorced of context... it's definitely strange but it has character.
(1) NORWAY -- Paul McCartney {Temporary Secretary}
-- I have been informed on multiple occasions that this man's love does it good. Solid YouTube comments I agree with: "This feels dangerous to listen to. Like how flashing lights could potentially send you into an epileptic seizure. I feel like I’m risking something health-wise listening to this song" "This song is what I imagine a neural network designed to compose whole-ass songs would create as its very first, wholly unpolished mistake" "This is both an absolute disaster and a marvel to experience. It's a song that shouldn't exist and the mere fact it does is an insult to life itself, it's a monument of human arrogance. A visceral punch to good taste and i can't stop listening to it." This may objectively be the worst entry I have voluntarily rated above at least 15 others in a long time, and I'm not sure if I should thank you for submitting this (it'll depend on whether my mind audiates it tomorrow at 02:00).
ANGUILLA -- Deltron 3030 {Battlesong}
-- I can very easily tell this is someone's jam. I don't think it's mine. Still, I'm rating it high for novelty.
BELGIUM -- UGK (Underground Kingz) {Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You)}
-- I can appreciate a song where everyone involved knows it's made of cheese. The verse at 2:04 takes me back to HIS WORLD in a way that is unintentionally enjoyable. sex song is w/e
==TIER: NO POINTS
AUSTRALIA -- Le☆S☆Ca {ミツバチ}
-- anime song / 10
I'm honestly as astonished that unassisted human vocal cords can make these pitches as I am the sounds from Flavortown entries.
CYPRUS -- Cloudier {Heartbeat}
-- I respect the soft pink-blue aesthetic. This style - vocaloidesque dancepop with innosexy lyrics - was always going to be a tough sell to me and while it did a good job in the softer sections I don't think I want to listen to this again.
RUNETERRA -- WaqWaq Kingdom {Mum Tells Me}
-- This is a bit "out there" for me, but I wouldn't be surprised if not giving this points tanks my sheeple score.
CHINA -- Molly Tuttle {Olympia, WA}
-- There's something punchable about the male vocalist's performance - the two vocalists don't agree on the interpretation of the vocals, and hers are much better than his - and it's distracting at best. The song's okay. I think I'm reaching a point where I can conclude that I'm immune to whichever magic dazzles people when they hear male and female voices singing the same thing simultaneously.
SWITZERLAND -- Grey Daze {Sometimes}
-- I dig the powerful style, but it's not supported by the lyrics, which feel like they're supposed to hit hard but don't register.
ARMENIA -- Anna Calvi {Desire}
-- Whoever in the comments compared this to Springsteen is right on. There are people who are into that but I'm not one of them.
BURKINA FASO -- Antti Paalanen {Elä (Gotta Live)}
-- I'm not sure what I experienced, but I think I responded positively to it, at least for the first 150 seconds or so. After that it became actively unpleasant.
==TIER: NO POINTS.
COLOMBIA -- Hoodie Allen {Surprise Party (feat. Blackbear)}
-- Sweet stage name. The consensus seems to be that the chorus is better than the verse, and I'm willing to agree based on the quantity of autotune used. sex song is w/e
FLAVORTOWN -- Maya Hawke {Generous Heart}
-- acoustic ballad / 10
POLAND -- Younger Hunger {Dead Inside}
-- This song feels like something that thinks it's more hip than it is. This doesn't do anything for me.
IRELAND -- Jazz Party {Drowning}
-- Take standard jazz ballad and add frenetic drumming? This feels like something that someone with my music background should be all over, but I've always been very cold on jazz vocals. Vocals are a valid instrument, but unlike other instruments it has an additional component of
information
. Jazz music usually thinks it's okay to ignore that entirely, and they assume that it's fine when it's not fine and I don't know how to say it because they'll never understand. The drumming is great but I do
not
want to listen to this vocalist moan for longer than I have to.
GREECE -- Noname {Blaxploitation (Room 25)}
-- The things about this that I don't get - and judging from the other comments I don't know if this is specific to the genre or the artist - are the ready willingness to throw clarity aside for chances to drop oblique lines that the artist thinks sounds cool, and the tendency to provide little inflection to suggest the emotionally or contextually important bits. The entire second verse feels like the artist reluctantly reading their report in front of the class at 1.5x speed with backing instruments, what with there being a message in there that's getting buried by everything sounding the same at high speed. The intro, bridge, and outro samples were better than everything else IMO.
GLOOMHAVEN -- The Pound Shop Boys {The Tra-La-La Song (Banana Splits Theme)}
-- I'll admit the first thing I read was the title of the song and I was worried that it was the
other
tra-la-la song. The Banana Splits barely, and I mean barely, overlapped with my childhood; and I suspect I've been spared years of nightmares as a result of the limited exposure. The song itself is the kind of electronic remix I've never really been a fan of, and adding that to the above, etc. Pls less hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
TUVALU -- MercyMe {Even If}
-- I did warn y'all that Christpop was coming back after a well-advised adventure into it a while ago. This song is actually near the top of its class; certified Platinum, #2 for its genre for 2017 and #9 for the decade.
I don't expect overtly religious songs to do well - especially overtly Christian songs in English - but I'm sure someone would appreciate the window into a community that everyone sees but no one actually looks into.
Reference:
TIER: POINTS! -- Entries that I really enjoyed; standouts; blatant favoritism
TIER: POINTS -- Entries that I'm confident I would give points to in any Contest
TIER: POINTS? -- Entries that I had to make a decision about whether to give points to
TIER: NO POINTS -- Entries that were not in contention for points, but that I hold no prejudice against
TIER: NO POINTS. -- Entries that I'm confident I would not give points to in any Contest
TIER: NO -- Entries that I disliked enough to warrant singling them out
TIER: N/A -- For one reason or another I am emotionally unable to parse or compare this, and won't try