Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Game Over
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Turns: 56
>ford, follow me
Ford seems deep in thought.
It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated. For instance, at the exact moment you said "use screwdriver on glass" a freak wormhole opened in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried your words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.
The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'Hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvunt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green, sweet-smelling steam. As a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, the Vl'Hurg challenged his vile enemy to take back what it had said about his mother.
The creature stirred in its sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words "use screwdriver on glass" drifted across the conference table. Unfortunately, in the Vl'hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries. Eventually the error was detected, but over two hundred and fifty thousand worlds, their peoples and cultures perished in the holocaust.
You have destroyed most of a small galaxy. Please pick your words with greater care.
Ford yawns. "Matter transference always tires me out. I'm going to take a nap." He places something on top of his satchel. "If you have any questions, here's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" (Footnote 14). Ford lowers his voice to a whisper. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you'll never be able to finish the game without consulting the Guide about lots of stuff." As he curls up in a corner and begins snoring, you pick up The Hitchhiker's Guide.
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Turns: 60
>consult guide about vogons
The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry:
Vogons, whose specialties are bureaucracy and planet-smashing, are the most unpleasant race in the Galaxy. They wouldn't think twice about throwing someone into space, and wouldn't lift a finger to save their own grandmother from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Also see the entries on Vogon poetry and the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
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Vogon Hold Score: 33 Turns: 61
>consult guide about Vogon poetry
The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and eventually comes up with the following entry:
Vogon poetry is so awful that even the Sarkopsi of Burphon XII, whose religion strictly forbids the taking of one's life, consider suicide a preferable alternative to a Vogon poetry reading.
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