LSG Character Poll 2021

[Malkon05]

well given I tend not to have a master list of that information from each and every host, not sure how feasible that would be. Might be easy to drop if one of us is spectating/playing the game, but who goes back and re-reads old games 2+ weeks after the fact?

[Malkon05]

Survivor: Wes Anderson is now open for voting!

Survivor: Wes Anderson

Just a reminder if you haven't voted in a prior poll yet, you might want to consider doing so! The more votes we get the more accurate the results are at the end <3

[Malkon05]

Hey All! Just a reminder that Character of the Year Polls close by the end of tomorrow. If you haven't voted yet, do so or forever hold your peace...until next year

If you aren't sure if you've voted yet or not, feel free to reach out to myself or CaptainMeme and we would be happy to tell you It's been a fabulous year for characters, so please be sure to let your voice be heard with your vote

[Malkon05]

Less than 7 hours remain to get your votes in! Speak now or forever hold the character's current positions!!!

[Malkon05]

Polls are now closed! Thanks everyone for voting We will announce in the near future when results will be revealed. We have some...finishing touches to put on everything and we hope you enjoy the final result!!!!!!

[Malkon05]

Chapter 2: Trying to get a Waifu

CaptainMeme: Welcome back to the worst Let’s Play in the entire world. No seriously, it’s pretty bad.

Malkon: Yeah he actually lost all of his units and had to start the game over. *snorts*

CaptainMeme: I swear I will cross this ocean to kick you.

Malkon: Bring it on.

CaptainMeme: You do know I actually know where you live right? You hosted SurvivorMeet 3.

Malkon: *pause* I-I’ve moved.

CaptainMeme: Doubtful.

Malkon: Shut up! I swear I’m house hunting right now so I will move soon to somewhere.

CaptainMeme: Uh huh, sure. Anyways back to this disaster of a Let’s Play. Today we are learning about something called the weapons triangle. It seems kind of silly and with very minor actual repercussions in-

*A unit dies*

CaptainMeme: What the bloody hell? There’s no way something is THAT weak against a lance. It’s a lance for pete’s sake. What did you just not move 2 inches to the left and get skewered?

Malkon: So why this is important kiddos is that weapons with advantages get slight stat boots which increases the likelihood of a critical hit or hits in general. In this case, n00bsl4y3r here just failed to take that into consideration and was taken out with a critical hit.

CaptainMeme: For the love of England. Okay, let’s try this out and-

*criticals against an enemy*

CaptainMeme: Get wrecked losers! *does a little dance*

Malkon: Yes, and on this side of the atlantic ocean, we can see the king of all showboaters floating along.

CaptainMeme: I’ll showboat your mum.

Malkon: What does that even mean?

CaptainMeme: I do not have a clue.

Malkon: Moving on.

CaptainMeme: Okay wait, so these units just moved next to each other and now have something called “Support Conversation” what’s that?

Malkon: It’s where two units spend enough time together that they decide they want to get to know each other a bit more. In fact if the right two characters have enough conversations they could end up wanting to marry each other.

CaptainMeme: Are you telling me I can have a waifu?

Malkon: …Is that all you took away from this conversation?

CaptainMeme: Okay I want the really hot one to be my waifu.

Malkon: Wow. Okay well…you know what to do then I guess. I didn’t even get to talk about the part where affinities with characters can improve-

CaptainMeme: Blah blah blah more waifu!

Malkon: *breathless* oh my god I’ve created a monster.

*The chapter goes well and a support conversation is reached*

CaptainMeme: Yessssss become part of my waifu harem ahahahaha

Malkon: So yeah the chapter is basically done can we move on now?

CaptainMeme: But I want more support with my waifu.

Malkon: I swear to god if you say waifu one more time…but no you can only get one support conversation per chapter. So if you want more you have to-

*Boss dies and next chapter begins*

Malkon: Oh look I didn’t even need to motivate you because-

*next support conversation is reached*

Malkon: …

*chapter ends*

Malkon: …this is the weirdest motivation I’ve ever seen.

*this repeats until final support is reached the female blushes as the characters kiss*

CaptainMeme: Okay I got my waifu, now did I win the game?

Malkon: Well. You’re on your way. I think you only have like 20 more chapters and like 5 side chapters. Oh you can also attempt to get children and-

CaptainMeme: Wait?! I CAN MAKE CHILDREN?!

Malkon: …I mean-

*sidequest: you have a child! Pops up on the screen*

CaptainMeme: *clicks the button rapidly*

Malkon: I think we are going to let Crazy McGee over here get a child and we will return to you next episode. Meanwhile we get to recruit all the characters in this chapter. Enjoy this music.

Spoiler: #96-81

[Malkon05]

Chapter 4: What a twist!!

CaptainMeme: What’s up everyone? It’s your boy xX_n00bs1ay3r_Xx! We’re back with this trainwreck of an anime weeb shitshow known as Fire Emblem! So far we have survived the first few chapters, learned about how to deal with fog, recruited a bunch of horrible characters, and I made a wife with a woman I just met. A smashing success if I do say so myself.

Malkon: …oh I can talk now? Okay. Hey it’s The_Marvelous_Mr_Malkon the co-pilot of this really really interesting walkthrough. I use interesting loosely as it’s likely about things you already know about this game, n00b here just is learning about it for the first time.

CaptainMeme: Okay what’s on the agenda today, it looks like we are learning about mounted units. I’ve had like 30 tutorial screens about how mounted units can move farther than non mounted units. Like why does this game have so many bloody tutorials?

Malkon: Why do you ask “so many bloody questions”?

CaptainMeme: I’ve learned this new relaxation technique. It’s called “tune out the haters”, and I seem to be currently alone in this room.

Malkon: …uh huh. Okay. You do that.

CaptainMeme: Anyways where were we. Oh right tutorial hell. So anyways now that “I know how a mounted unit works” 50 screens later, I now seem to also be told how to use a mage. Like we get it, you get a book, you make Harry Potter happen and you’re done. In fact, if I wanted to win this game, why can’t I just cast Avada Kedavra on these people and be done with this game?

Malkon: I still hear you asking a lot of questions.

CaptainMeme: That’s not an answer.

Malkon: Well it’s a forbidden curse, first of all, and second do you really want to have to deal with the entire Ministry of Magic and pretty much all of the wizarding world after you if you just go around flopping your big ol wand and going Avada Kedavra on everyone?

CaptainMeme: *checks the unit is level 4 and sighs* No…but just wait until I’m at a higher level.

Malkon: You do that. *rolls eyes*

CaptainMeme: In any case I’m FINALLY through tutorial hell and now I can play this game. Okay so this chapter is a pretty standard one it seems. There’s like a forested area where I have to use the trees like cover and then there’s like a castle building on the other side that’s locked.

*thinks a moment*

Locked? Where’s the bloody key? I don’t have a god damn key.

Malkon: Maybe when you get there, you can visit that house that looks like it’s open. Just a thought.

CaptainMeme: Oh right because RPG rules you can just walk into anyone’s house and they’ll part with everything and let you steal from them, got it.

Malkon: …I hate how right you are.

CaptainMeme: They don’t call me the Captain of Memes for nothing.

Malkon: I don’t even know what you mean.

CaptainMeme: Anyways time to get the key!

Malkon: If you were actually in Harry Potter you could just do Accio Key and you’d be set.

CaptainMeme: This would be an infinitely better game if it was Harry Potter.

Malkon: I’m pretty sure based on recent incidents in the world that there’s some way to form an offensive statement from what you just said.

CaptainMeme: Oh probably, but it’s not Harry Potter’s fault it was written by She Who Shall Not Be Named.

Malkon: Good point, though it would probably be good if we aren’t further promoting that particular agenda on this show. Perhaps we should focus back on…

Did you really name your unit “Harry”?

CaptainMeme: Of course I did! That’s like the only part of this tutorial hell that I’m actually interested in.

Malkon: I mean okay I guess. Oh it looks like the Boss is recruitable this chapter.

CaptainMeme: You can recruit a boss? Well that’s a twist. Maybe the power of bullshit friendship and love will win us this war too.

Malkon: *sighs* you know, did your mother love you enough as a child?

CaptainMeme: I’d like to think so. She especially LOVED me being out of her hair when she was busy.

Malkon: *groans* okay enough of those lame jokes. Just do the thing.

*CaptainMeme goes up with the Lord and recruits the boss which ends the chapter*

CaptainMeme: That was so easy, like why am I even playing this? Random houses give me keys, bosses join my party, like this game is asinine sometimes.

Malkon: So is your face.

CaptainMeme: Anyways *ignores Malkon* looks like we have a few more recruits to recap as a result of this chapter, take it away music from the heavens!

Spoiler: #69-61

[Malkon05]

what does st. dev mean btw?

So I don't know all the specifics and Meme can probably describe better, but from what I understand it's the range in which scores were given by how varied the votes were from one another. For example, someone who gets a bunch of 9s and 1s is going to have higher st dev than someone who got 4s, 5s and 6s even if their score overall is basically the same.

[Malkon05]

Chapter 6: Promotion Time!

Malkon: And we’re back. After the tower defense game, the world map opened up and now we can revisit some old areas to do some leveling up.

CaptainMeme: Fun fact, I actually loathe this portion of RPGs because it feels like such a time sink for such little return.

Malkon: Fun fact, no one cares.

CaptainMeme: I swear I’m going to kick your arse one of these days. *grumbles as he boots up* So like my “friend”, and I use friend very loosely, has stated, I’ve been beefing up my units. However I’ve discovered that once you hit level 20 the units don’t level up anymore.

Malkon: Welllllllll…

CaptainMeme: Wait…there’s more after level 20?!

*the room begins to violently shake again*

Malkon: …fuck they’re coming back.

CaptainMeme: Oh no not them agai-

xofelf: *comes crashing through the room* IT IS I, GODDESSSUPREME48, THE SAVIOR OF ALL LET’S PLAYS AND I HEARD THAT YOU NEEDED MY HELP ONCE AGAIN.

CaptainMeme: *pulls plaster out of his hair* Uhhh I mean I guess so, Mr Marvelous over here was about to answer-

Malkon: No no. Go ahead, waste this poor person’s time. They’re here after all.

CaptainMeme: I…guess I do need your help after all errr Goddess Supreme?

xofelf: YOU MAY REFER TO ME AS JUST GODDESS IF THAT IS EASIER FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND. THEN NAME YOUR QUESTION. REMINDER YOU ONLY GET ONE!

CaptainMeme: Err alright Goddess. Then, how do you level up a unit past 20?

xofelf: REALLY? THAT’S YOUR QUESTION? YOU COULD PROBABLY LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

CaptainMeme: That’s my question.

xofelf: WELL ALRIGHT THEN I GUESS. IN ORDER TO LEVEL A UNIT PAST 20 YOU MUST USE AN ITEM TO PROMOTE IT. SOME UNITS DO NOT PROMOTE BUT THOSE ARE USUALLY SPECIAL CHARACTERS. LORDS USUALLY ONLY PROMOTE WHEN CERTAIN STORY BASED ELEMENTS HAVE BEEN MET OR AN ITEM HAS BEEN PERTAINED ON A CERTAIN CHAPTER.

CaptainMeme: Promotion, like what, like at a business?

xofelf: NO YOU DOLT LIKE YOU CLASS THEM INTO SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL.

CaptainMeme: Like…the power ranger zords?

xofelf: OH FOR THE LOVE OF-YES JUST LIKE THAT.

CaptainMeme: Coooooooooooool! Where do I get one?

xofelf: UNFORTUNATELY I ONLY CAN ANSWER ONE QUESTION BEFORE I GO OFF. PERHAPS I WILL RETURN IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED AGAIN. GODDESSSUPREME48 ONCE AGAIN HELPING THE LESS FORTUNATE OFF TO SAVE ANOTHER LET’S PLAY! *flies off*

Malkon: Please tell me you bought insurance this time.

CaptainMeme: I…actually did.

Malkon: Then we are good. Let’s enjoy the skylight a bit until they fix it then. We should go find those items in the meantime.

CaptainMeme: On it! *plays the next chapter and halfway through gets a Hero’s Crest* Okay so…now what I just use it like an item?

Malkon: That’s right.

CaptainMeme: And there we go. I oh-OH! *watches a giant animation plays and then unit gets buffer and tougher with cooler armor* As weeb as that was, that was awesome *is grinning*

Malkon: *whispers into the mic* folks I think he likes it.

CaptainMeme: Eat shit army! *starts sending the unit in to do damage*

Malkon: While n00bslayer enjoys his new toy, let’s cut to commercial before we continue.

Spoiler: #48-#40

[Malkon05]

The above edit came from me to clean this up so it wasn't as confusing. It also is not reflective of final placement, just by order of game hosted and within each game alphabetized.

[Malkon05]

Chapter 8: Always Choose Dessert Over Desert

CaptainMeme: *shows up with a plate of pie*

Malkon: Oh okay I’ll bite, what’s going on?

CaptainMeme: I was told there was a dessert chapter coming up so I’m trying to get in character for it. Plus who doesn’t love pie, it’s delightful!

Malkon: So I think there’s been a bit of a mix up. The chapter that is coming up is actually a desert chapter, not a dessert chapter.

CaptainMeme: Well whatever I’m still eating this *takes a bite*

Malkon: Sure, I don’t care, I just don’t want to get anyone upset when it turns out there’s no actual chapter about desserts.

CaptainMeme: I’ll give you your just desserts for this horrible misunderstanding.

Malkon: Just make sure they are pie.

Captainmeme: Anyways, so now that we are clear on what kind of chapter we are doing today. Let’s get started. *boots up game* okay so we have to go to this desert place to find “The Fire Emblem” *gags* to defeat the demon king. Like if it was this easy to find this thing, why wouldn’t the demon king have already gone in and smashed it?

Malkon: Maybe there’s some anti-demon force field or something? All I know is that you’ll probably get some sub-standard explanation for everything at some point.

CaptainMeme: Okay so we are here at this desert that takes up the majority of the map. There appears to be…bandits. How original. *groans* it’s always the fucking bandits with these chapters. Apparently they are trying to kill me for reasons. Why are there even bandits on this desert island?

Malkon: You know, that’s a great question. I guess they’re just protective of their territory?

CaptainMeme: I mean I probably would not want to live in a desert, but these bandits I guess have other prerogatives.

Malkon: No one rules this territory, so it’s likely they enjoy the freedom that comes from being here.

CaptainMeme: I guess that makes some sense *grumpily eats pie* but whatever okay so now I’m getting tutorials about how to move in sand? For the love of god, this game loves to hold your hand while you go through it, doesn’t it?

Malkon: Well when your strategy is to try to capture demonic pokemon, I’m pretty sure you are the target audience for this specific tutorial hell.

CaptainMeme: …shut up. *eats more pie*

Malkon: So yes, you move very slow and sometimes there are hidden items. That’s the big new thing. But only horse and armored units are slow, pretty much everything else is mostly able to travel fine. Thieves and mages are the best units to move along.

CaptainMeme: I get it, heavy units sink. That makes logical sense for the first time since this anime nightmare began. I still would rather have the dessert instead of the desert. It’s tastier.

Malkon: Can’t argue with your logic there.

CaptainMeme: Damn right. *gets through and the thief picks up an item* Ummm what is this?

Malkon: Oh that? *looks and sees Member Card* That’s a nifty little item that allows you to access secret shops! They have items you wouldn’t normally get in any of the standard shops.

Captainmeme: So it’s sort of the Black Market of Fire Emblem?

Malkon: That’s not a horrible way to look at it? It could be more seen as like “because you are premium member you get special perks”.

CaptainMeme: And why can’t you get this from just shopping at the store? Is that mean Anna holding out on me?!

Malkon: No I- *sees CaptainMeme’s face* Yes. That meanie Anna is holding out on you. But now you have the keys to her secret stash.

CaptainMeme: I knew it!

Malkon: A regular detective *suppresses a snort*

CaptainMeme: I’m going to show her the next time I see her!

Malkon: You do that.

*CaptainMeme goes through the rest of the chapter and after being angry at sand for a bit, he finally manages to mop up the rest of the map*

Malkon: Good job you did it.

CaptainMeme: I’m going to to finish my dessert now. Fuck deserts. Enjoy some music while I go eat.

Spoiler: #30-#21

[Malkon05]

Chapter 10: Why Couldn’t I Have Had This OP Character Three Chapters Ago?!

CaptainMeme: And welcome back everyone! We are getting close to the end of this game, I can feel it. I’m getting the “we only have a couple chapters left” vibes. I’ve max leveled the units I actually give a crap about and there’s only one or two more units I’ll try to get. The unit last chapter I’m just going to have to scrap, I don’t have time for their weak sauce levels.

Malkon: …weak sauce. Really?

CaptainMeme: It’s true though, why not use a term if it’s true?

Malkon: Right. Anyways yes, you only have a couple chapters left in this game. So let’s get to them. In this chapter, you have to take out as many enemies as possible. Shouldn’t be too hard for a master like you right?

CaptainMeme: You bet. I’ll just attack a few of these guys and…err…

*all units die within a few turns*

Malkon: Impressive.

CaptainMeme: Shut up.

Malkon: Perhaps instead of attacking the clearly OP units in front of you, you make a diversion for that little place over there. *points to a small fort in the corner*

CaptainMeme: Why would I do that? Like what actually and instinctively makes me want to go there?

Malkon: Well I mean other than it being an obvious giant building that looks like it might have treasure in it?

CaptainMeme: But I want to mess things up for these mean blokes!

Malkon: Just…trust me on this one. It’s very much worth your time.

CaptainMeme: I swear to god if you are punking me…

Malkon: Guess you’ll have to find out.

CaptainMeme: *grumbles a bit and then goes to the place* Okay I’m here now what? I-

*a cutscene plays and at the end a small female with dragon wings is recruited*

CaptainMeme: Who is this? She looks like a every anime non human trope.

Malkon: I’m going to just ignore that and say, give her a spin.

CaptainMeme: Who her?! Against actual fucking tanks of units? You’re crazy.

Malkon: I mean I didn’t lead you astray earlier. Might as well keep trusting me if you want to. Or not, it seems to work out for you very well. *rolls eyes*

CaptainMeme: *Grumbles and does what Malkon says* I still think this is a ba-

*girl transforms into a fucking dragon and begins to just slay unit after unit*

CaptainMeme: *eyes bulge* what in the world is this?! You didn’t tell me she was a god damn dragon that is OP! Why would a game wait this long to give me a character like this?!

Malkon: Well you know since you couldn’t do it on your own, the game decided to throw you a little bone.

CaptainMeme: This is awesome! I only want to use this. Though I could have used her like 3 chapters ago!

*uses the new character to literally wipe the map of all enemies in a matter of turns*

CaptainMeme: Hahaha! I am all powerful! Fear me I’m a god damn dragon lady!

Malkon: If I had a nickel for every time you said that.

CaptainMeme: You’d only have one nickel.

Malkon: Are you sure about that?

*both of them glare at each other as the next chapter boots up*

Malkon: Let’s cut to commercial.

CaptainMeme: Yes. Let’s.

Spoiler: #10-#4