Datisi's Café [mod pt]

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Post Post #25 (ISO) » Thu Sep 29, 2022 1:56 am

Post by Datisi »

ok so leftover points are

klick - 20
penguinpower - 15

d3 productivity submissions

uncrowned - 75% (25 points)
ydrasse - 85% (15 points)

10 townies alive, so 8 put in 100%

average is 96% lol
Last edited by Datisi on Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #26 (ISO) » Thu Sep 29, 2022 2:46 am

Post by Datisi »

flavourDatisi had just sat down in his office with his first cup of coffee of the day, when he heard commotion from the break room. his head still pounding from the unread messages on his phone and the lack of caffeine in this bloodstream, he tried to ignore it at first. it wasn't quieting down.

sighing, he put the cup down onto the desk and headed towards the break room. those forum mafia shitposts would have to wait.

the sight in the break room made Datisi wonder if he should've just stayed in bed that day. Ydrasse and Titus were yelling at each other, as were fireisredsir and mastina. most other employees were looking back and forth between the two arguing pairs. one person was even chanting "fight! fight! fight!" at both of them.

"alright, can anyone tell me what is--" Datisi tried to ask, but he got interrupted by an empty glass bottle flying at his face. unfortunately for the employees, he managed to duck in time.

the sound of glass breaking managed to catch their attention, at least. Datisi got back up to his feet, picking the glass shards out of his hair.

"okay," he said in a deadpan voice, "let's try that again. can anyone tell me--"

"you know what? fuck this job, the pay is shit anyway," Titus said, giving Datisi her ID card and leaving the room in a hurry, slamming the door behind her.

"...right," Datisi mumbled as he took his phone out to scan the ID. just as he guessed, an [ERROR] message appeared. "hah, y'all did something right for once. good job."

"thanks," said Ydrasse, "say, Datisi, about our own salaries--"

she did not manage to finish the sentence, as Datisi was already out the door.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #27 (ISO) » Thu Sep 29, 2022 3:19 am

Post by Datisi »

so points going into n3 are:

penguinpower - 15
klick - 20
ydrasse - 15
uncrowned - 25

n3 actions:

uncrowned is neighbourizing dannflor
ydrasse is personally pt copping uncrowned
klick is motivating lukewarm
---
fireisredsir is killing lukewarm
---
furtiveglance is killing lukewarm
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #28 (ISO) » Mon Oct 03, 2022 11:10 am

Post by Datisi »

flavour7:30am. the door of the café was locked, and Datisi was nowhere to be seen. if today hadn't been the first of the month - which was when you get your paycheck, though you were slowly starting to get suspicious of the fact Datisi would always only give you cash - you all would've gone home by now.

the silence was broken by notification sounds from your phones, all of them. a text by Datisi in the company group chat. well, the other one.

"hey friends, sorry, uh... i forgot to pay the rent for the place. we can't use the café until it's covered, and i'm gonna need a few days to... completely ethically get some money from the government, so. take two days off, see ya then."


a collective groan was heard, you all got out of bed for nothing. one person started typing, soon sending another message into the group chat.

"we're getting our paycheck then, right?"


Datisi had already gone offline.


it was finally time to go back to the café. a few employees enjoyed the time off, but most of them were kind of weird and were itching to go back to work.

the workers finally gathered in the break room, disappointed that there were no envelopes at the table. it didn't take long for Datisi to get there too; you wondered just how much he missed the place, as he looked like an addict going through withdrawal. he was gripping his coffee cup and scanning the room, silently counting the people present.

after taking way more time than he really should have, he approached the table and put something on it. "Lukewarm's ID," he said in a monotone voice, "i found it this morning. i can see that everyone else is present, so... call me when you need me." with that, he turned around and approached the still-open door.

"hold on!" a few of the employees jumped up, "what about our paychecks?"

Datisi sighed, stopping for a second to look back at them. "they'll be in your lockers by the end of the day." and with that, he left the room.

the room quieted down for a few moments, with everyone lost in their own thoughts, before one of the employees already at their feet vaguely pointed at the door, a look of confusion on their face.

"hold on... Datisi has access to our lockers?"
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #29 (ISO) » Tue Oct 04, 2022 1:05 am

Post by Datisi »

point leftovers:
penguinpower - 15
uncrowned - 15

d4 productivity:

uncrowned - 65%
penguinpower - 80%
klick - 75%

so everyone else does 100%

with 9 townies alive, that is 91%
Last edited by Datisi on Wed Oct 12, 2022 10:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #30 (ISO) » Wed Oct 12, 2022 9:32 pm

Post by Datisi »

flavourit was another slow day. on a usual day at work, you didn't notice this crawling passage of time, as you'd be spending it on your phone or carelessly chatting with the colleagues. but with serious discussion taking place in the break room, it was another slow day. you wondered if so few customers were really not out of the ordinary.

the clock on the wall indicated that it was almost time to go home. which was great, but the decision had not yet been made.

"maybe Malakittens should get fired," said one person, with a bunch of them quickly agreeing. Malakittens was sitting in the corner, typing on her phone; she didn't show any signs of even hearing them.

"Malakittens, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Andresvmb asked her. she didn't take her gaze off her phone screen.

"well, alright then," he said after a moment of silence, "i'll go tell Datisi that we're done here."

Malakittens mumbled a quiet "whatever".

shortly after, Andresvmb returned with Datisi. he was complaining about being interrupted in his studies, though the employees knew that probably meant he was losing at online tetris.

"Malakittens, return your--"

"yeah, yeah, here is your ID," she said as she got up, took her ID card, and ripped it in half.

for a moment, Datisi was quietly looking at the ripped pieces falling to the ground.

"Malakittens...
again
?"

"what can i say?"

and with that, she left the room. Datisi sighed, wished his employees a good night, and went back into his office. they were left there dumbfounded, wondering what that conversation was about.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #31 (ISO) » Thu Oct 13, 2022 2:45 am

Post by Datisi »

n4 actions:

penguinpower is tracking andresvmb (did not go anywhere)
uncrowned is using his hood ic ability
klick is motivating something_smart
fireisredsir is killing mastina
furtiveglance is killing ydrasse
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #32 (ISO) » Sat Oct 15, 2022 12:17 am

Post by Datisi »

flavourDatisi was late for work.
again
. the café was left unlocked, but it didn't seem like anything was stolen. not that there was anything worth stealing, anyway.

you settled in the break room, most of you with a cup of coffee in hand, wondering whether to call anyone, when your phones went off. another text from Datisi.

"i'm taking the morning off. Ydrasse and mastina won't be showing up for work. good luck."


a collective sigh was heard. no discussion about getting paid above the minimum wage this morning, then.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #33 (ISO) » Sat Oct 15, 2022 12:25 am

Post by Datisi »

1 = mafia kill first; 2 = sk kill first
Original Roll String: 1d2
1 2-Sided Dice: (2) = 2
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #34 (ISO) » Sat Oct 15, 2022 12:41 am

Post by Datisi »

so, penguin has 20 points left, everyone else has 0

ok ok ok

d5 productivity:

penguinpower - 80%
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #35 (ISO) » Mon Oct 17, 2022 12:01 am

Post by Datisi »

flavourwell, the easy part of deciding who to fire was done. the hard part was going to be getting Datisi to actually do his job.

after about 7 calls, he finally picked up his phone. "hey, Datisi, we've decided who we're gonna fire, can you come down to the café and--"

"i'm sleeping. figure it out yourselves." click.


for a few seconds, the dial tone was the only thing breaking the silence in the room. visibly annoyed at the whole situation, Something_Smart got up from his seat.

"you know what? whatever. at least now i can focus on my career of becoming a pokémon twitch streamer," he said as he started walking towards the exit.

"wait!" fireisredsir yelled out just as Something_Smart was about to leave the break room, "who were you!?"

Something_Smart stopped walking, turned his head around, and looked fireisredsir in the eyes.

"Joe."
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #36 (ISO) » Mon Oct 17, 2022 12:26 am

Post by Datisi »

so, uh

pp is at 40 points, everyone else is at 0
which means that tonight's night actions are gonna be simple to resolve, at least

penguinpower is tracking furtiveglance
fireisredsir is killing penguinpower
furtiveglance is killing fireisredsir (NOOOOOOOOO)
Last edited by Datisi on Mon Oct 17, 2022 4:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #37 (ISO) » Mon Oct 17, 2022 2:44 am

Post by Datisi »

d2 bets

BBT: Mastina, Andres, Uncrowned, Mala, fireisred

RH9: Titus, Uncrowned, Ydrasse, RCE, Mala

Gamma: Uncrowned, Ydrasse, S_S, Mala, RCE

Nero: mastina, titus, ydrasse, redfire, malakittens

petapan: titus, malakittens, klick, mastina, uncrowned
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #38 (ISO) » Tue Oct 18, 2022 8:25 pm

Post by Datisi »

ok what is the flavour gonna be
datisi finally walks into work, says that penguin has been fired
someone notices that there's another person missing
attempts to call them on the phone
they're not answering
???
profit
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #39 (ISO) » Wed Oct 19, 2022 2:27 am

Post by Datisi »

flavourit seemed like Datisi mustered up enough willpower to actually get out of bed today. when you entered the break room, he was already in there, cup of coffee in hand. by the colour of his eye bags, you could tell it wasn't his first one.

"i found another ripped ID card this morning," he said after everyone had sat down. his voice mostly sounded tired, but you could notice a hint of anguish in it; restaffing would not be cheap. "PenguinPower won't be coming to work anymore."

quiet whispers filled the room. just as Datisi was about to get up and leave his employees for another round of discussion, one of them raised their hand, trying to get his attention. it was Uncrowned, who was awkwardly looking around his colleagues.

"hey, Datisi, you said that you found
a
card? as in, just one?"

"yes, like i said, i found one ID card, why are you--" Datisi trailed off, the realization finally hitting his tired brain.

there were only 6 employees present.

having realized the issue, other workers shot up from their seats. as there was zero tolerance for running late, they all knew what this meant.

"who's missing?"

"...fireisredsir!"

"it says that they haven't been online since last night!"

"and i can't reach their phone!"

as the employees were trying to understand what happened, Datisi checked his manager app. fireisredsir's name was completely wiped from the system, almost as if it never existed.

sighing, Datisi put his phone back into his pocket, and headed towards the meeting room's exit. "well, same rules as in the previous days, call me when you need me."
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #40 (ISO) » Wed Oct 19, 2022 2:29 am

Post by Datisi »

1 = mafia kill first; 2 = sk kill first
Original Roll String: 1d2
1 2-Sided Dice: (1) = 1
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Post Post #41 (ISO) » Thu Oct 20, 2022 11:41 pm

Post by Datisi »

flavourthe discussion was short. Dannflor, Uncrowned, and jjh927 had quickly decided who they wanted to fire, and Klick and Andresvmb did not seem to be against their idea. but the problem was that Datisi was, of course, not present at the meeting.

"well, i'm not going into his office again," said Andresvmb in a tone that nobody wanted to argue with.

after a moment of uncomfortable silence and avoiding each other's gazes, jjh927 got up. "fine, fine, i'll do it."

shortly after, jjh927 was back with annoyed Datisi. it appears that he told him who they were planning to fire, as Datisi approached furtiveglance as soon as he entered the room. "furtiveglance, give me your--"

"are you the manager?"

Datisi fell silent. he was looking at furtiveglance with a puzzled look on his face, internally debating whether he'd just heard something very wrong. "w... what?"

"i said," furtiveglance said as he got up from their chair, a hint of annoyance in their voice, "are you the manager?"

so, he did not mishear. "yes?" he replied in a shaky voice, still unable to comprehend what is going on.

"oh good," furtiveglance smiled, "i've been waiting for my coffee for... six days now. when will i be able to get it?"

Datisi blinked. he could feel the beginning of a migraine coming on.

"you... you are not a worker here?"

"obviously not! do i
look
like a waiter to you!?" having heard that, the other employees awkwardly looked at each other.

"this is a private staff meeting!! how did you even get in here!?" by this point, Datisi had raised his voice.

"am i going to get my cup of--"

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY CAFE' THIS INSTANT!" Datisi's face was completely red; as he was shouting, he pointed at the break room door.

"fine!" furtiveglance yelled, an appalled look on their face, "expect a bad review! the service in this place is atrocious!" they screamed out as they slammed the door behind them.
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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Datisi
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Posts: 26007
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Happy Scumday!

Post Post #42 (ISO) » Fri Oct 21, 2022 12:11 am

Post by Datisi »

flavourfor a moment, nobody was saying anything. Datisi looked furious; if he hadn't been violating worker rights for the last few years, his employees probably would've been worried about him.

he took a deep breath. then another one.

"right. now that that NONSENSE is dealt with, i will see the rest of you tom--"

he got interrupted by the door of the break room suddenly being forcefully opened. a breathless backup manager, GeorgeBailey, ran into the room.

"DATISI!" he yelled out while still trying to catch his breath, "Datisi, i just got the word... the... the inspection company HQ... it's on fire!"

a collective "WHAT!?" was heard form both Datisi and the employees.

"a fire broke out," he continued, finally able to talk a bit more normally, "the whole building is burning! they're evacuating the neighbourhood, the fire department thinks they can stop the spread, but the building is beyond repair!"

on one hand, Datisi did not want to feel joy about a fire breaking out and people possibly being injured. but this meant the pesky inspection company would have to relocate. and, to the misfortune of the remaining employees, the café would continue to operate.

Datisi couldn't help but let out a smirk as he said, "let's all take the rest of the day off, see y'all tomorrow."

he decided to take the longer way home; it passed next to the inspection company HQ, and he wanted to see what was going on.

GeorgeBailey was telling the truth, the building was on fire. he couldn't get very close as the area was restricted for civilians' safety, but it looked like it was going to collapse sooner or later. just as he expected, he saw a bunch of firetrucks around, a good number of cop cars, and a few ambulances on standby.

he was about to head home, when he saw another vehicle approach the restricted zone. it was a van from the local news station. in of itself, that wasn't anything unusual, but seeing it made him realize something else:

that was the first news reporters vehicle on the scene.

as he was walking away from the fire and towards his house, he did a cursory google search on his phone. and just as he suspected, there were no reports yet about the fire online either.

upon making sure he wasn't standing in the middle of the road, he stopped walking. smiling to himself, he closed the google search, opened the discord app, went into his DMs with GeorgeBailey, and sent him a short message.

"excellent work."
I will straight up disregard all reason if you have a PR dream again. You can come back and be like, “I dreamt that Locke is a N2 Bulletproof Multitasking Cop and Self-Targeting Doctor,” and I will go, “Okay, Locke kill it is then.”
~M
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