The Library

[the Librarian]

The library is open.

[the Librarian]

THROW BOOK AT SMALL CHILD

You enter the library and reach for a fairly thick volume to whip at an unsuspecting child. Looking around, you notice only a couple others, none of them much younger than you.

Inspect the globes

You enter the library. The first thing that catches your eye is the sheer number of large, aged globes. There are five of them dispersed around the main room. Their dusty faces depicts the world as it must have been known nearly a century ago. They're crafted from some sort of wood and hand painted. Spinning them around, they emit a hollow klunking sound, as if something was knocking about within.

Break glasses and quote that one Twilight Zone episode

You enter the library. Thinking yourself clever, you take up a good book and put on a pair of reading glasses. Reading's not what's on you're mind, though. You casually let them slip of the bridge of your nose, hitting the ground with a clatter. For good measure, you flatten them under your heel.
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed..." You croon, looking around to see if anyone would applaud your performance. No one seems to have noticed, or perhaps they just ignore you.

check out a magic book for the transformatly obsessed

You enter the library, a book already in mind. There are a lot of rows of shelves, though. Where would you even find a book on 'transformat obsession'?

Use free WiFi and add unfunny alt to MafiaScum.

You enter the library, hoping it will have free WiFi for your stupid time-wasting online. In the main room, you see no computers, but there are a couple chairs. If you brought a laptop, you could try and access the network from there.

[the Librarian]

lulz
And me without my library card...

You don't need one to look around.

[the Librarian]

Search the room

You enter the library and begin to look around the main room. The room is rectangular, with the east and west walls longer than the north wall, and the south, with you entered from. To your right, is the checkout desk, currently unmanned. All the walls are lined with shelves that reach high to the vaulting arches of the ceiling. On the far north wall there is a single door, and another on the east wall. In the center of the room is a row of globes. Five in total. There is already a boy playing with one of them. A couple others are either looking at books or exploring the room like yourself.

eat the laptop

I'm sorry but I don't know what laptop you're referring to. There doesn't seem to be any nearby. Furthermore, I can hardly imagine a laptop being even remotely digestible.

throw large book at adult

You enter the library and immediately rech for a large book from one of the many shelves. There are six others to throw it at, none of them seem to be paying you any mind, even as you cock your arm back to send it flying.

[the Librarian]

I think I'm going to have to ask that each person only make one or two actions between each update. This is about to become a hassle.

[the Librarian]

Status

Alduskkel: You're feeling fine, if perhaps a bit disappointed that no one enjoyed your attempt at acting. There's a book in your hand, but you haven't bothered to see what it is. Your broken glasses are under your right shoe.

laugh so hard everyone looks at you

"Hahahahahahahaaa! Hahahahahaaa!" You force the laughter out to the point that it sounds almost like a warcry. You sound like an idiot, sure, but you've definitely captured everyone's attention.
The door in the north wall opens abruptly, and a frail-looking old man emerges from it.

"Just who in the nine circles is making that rumpus?!?" he roars, irately. He sees you, with your arm set to throw one of the books, and scowls. "Out! Get out of my library now! I'll have none of you punks wrecking my books or my piece and quiet!" He points emphatically at the door.

Status/Inventory

Zeofar: You're feeling fine. You're currently standing by one of the globes in the middle of the room, seeing the madness unfurl all around you. You didn't take anything special with you, because let's face it, you knew you were just going to the library. There's some change in your pocket and a cellphone in your other one. Supposing you really needed something, you could probably just go home and get it.

empty bowels in nearest trash receptacle.

You enter the library, clearly in a hurry. There! By the checkout desk is a small bucket, lined with a plastic garbage bag. You hover over it but before you've got your belt fully undone, the librarian's already guessed what you have in mind.
"Get out of here, you dirty bum!" He yells, grabbing a broom and swinging it as he runs towards you. You can tell that he can't keep up the run long enough to reach you, but the moment is ruined. You should probably leave.

attempt to start a fire with whatever you can find

You enter the library, a mad look in your eyes, and look around for kindling. There are plenty of books ripe for the grabbing, but unless you have a lighter or matches on you, you're not gonna get anywhere. Besides, that old man looks like he'll call the cops any second now.

All other commands have been ignored. If you still wish to try them, post one. Remember, one per update. Cross out a submission if you want me to disregard it. If they don't make sense, they won't happen. They occur in the order that I receive them.

[the Librarian]

>Find more than I expected.

If you wish to find something, you should begin by looking for it.

[the Librarian]

Look for more than I expected.

That's not hard at all. Let's see... there are at least three more globes than you expected to find in one room...
There's a bunch of people acting crazier than you expected, one of which is a ancient-looking librarian, who has managed to be more spry than you'd have expected for an octogenarian...
There might be more, but I'm not sure what else you were expecting.

[the Librarian]

Placate the old guy.

As much as it might go against your better judgement, you approach the tired old librarian, slowly with your arms raised in a gesture of peace. Most of his bluster is already fading. His breaths come out in puffs as he reaches for a seat to fall into. Still, he glowers at animorpher and Adel.
"You two get out of here. If I don't ever see you in here again, I won't call the police." He turns to you: "What do you want? You with them?"

[the Librarian]

FIND BOOK

You enter the library. Hmmm... you think, where can I find a book? You stroll along the wall of shelves, staring each spine over until you find one that looks particularly filling.

Determine time and date.

It's mid-afternoon on a Friday. November 6, 2009. Not sure as to the exact time; you don't carry a watch.

Say to the old guy, "Do you have WiFi?"

"Why what?" He stares at you incredulously. You probably should have known better than to ask him. He probably unaware that TV's display in color nowadays.

[the Librarian]

Scan the library for different sections

Most of the West wall is marked 'Mystery', which becomes 'Fantasy' as it approaches the north wall. The rest of the North wall is marked 'Romance'. The east wall has a small section marked 'Sci-fi' and another marked 'Young adult'. Closer to the checkout desk is taken by the latest periodicals, and a very small collection of VHS tapes.
Over the door on the East wall is marked 'NON-FICTION' and 'CHILDREN' (pointing to the left, through the door). You notice the small door on the north wall is marked 'Employees only'.

go to the childrens section and grab a book

(see below for a description)
You enter through the door and find the children's section. All the books have cute pictures of animals, some dressed as people.

Search for a dead body.

You enter the library. There doesn't appear to be a dead body anywhere in the main room.

Go east.

You follow saberwolf through the east door.

The next room is rather poorly lit with fluorescent bulbs and seems to be entirely filled with rows of shelves. It’s overfilled with books. After some further exploring, you see that there is a small children’s section where the walls are postered with images of reading dogs and kittens hanging from clotheslines. The chairs in this section look quite comfortable. There are no connecting rooms, except from where you came. Overall, it feels like this section was added much more recently than the main room.

Compliment the librarian on his socks, then go find a window.

You enter the library and the first thing you notice is the old man's snazzy threads. His tweed socks, while looking a bit uncomfortable, certainly suit his pale, wrinkly complexion. You tell him so and he smiles. Or is that a grimace?
There don't appear to be any windows in the main room. Which is odd, because the lighting is quite nice, and there doesn't appear to be any source that you can make out.

I'll stalk Blackberry as long as we're in the library.

You follow him into the library, always just a step behind him.

[the Librarian]

find a magic book of transformation

Your not having much luck find the book you want, so you decide to ask the librarian.
"A

magic

book, you say?" he guffaws. "Perhaps you'd have luck in the Paranormal section..." He thinks on the matter for a bit, then points to the non-fiction section in the next room.
"130 to 133. Occultism. Not sure what you expect to find, this is just a library, my boy."

dissapear

Darn straight, you disappear. You drop the book you're holding and run out the exit, taking Adel with you. Once you're gone, the librarian finally relaxes. He turns to Alduskkel.
"What were you looking for, boy??

[the Librarian]

> dissapear

>in a puff of smoke. Trigger smoke alarms, thereby causing ceiling sprinklers to activate and soaking every single book in the library.

Now don't come back until you've learned to behave.

[the Librarian]

Update coming in a few hours. Also going to post some of my thoughts and plans for this, seeing as I didn't really have a description of this in the first post.